


Harry Potter and the Draco Malfoy Experiment

by teamstarkidfanfic



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 8th year, 8th year harry potter, Blow Jobs, Bottom Harry, Bottom Harry Potter, Dark Mark, Drarry, First Time, Flashbacks, Fluff and Smut, Gay, Gay Harry Potter, Love Potion/Spell, M/M, POV Third Person, PTSD, Punishment, Room of Requirement, Scars, Smut, Top Draco Malfoy, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-05-25 09:59:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 79
Words: 110,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14974799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teamstarkidfanfic/pseuds/teamstarkidfanfic
Summary: Tormented by his past, Draco Malfoy can't sleep. Nightmares threatening every dream, Harry Potter can't sleep either. This leads to the two boys running into each other one night. Both boys are lost in a dark abyss of the aftermath of war. What happens when the only key to escape the abyss is each other? Amidst trying to climb out of depression, the boys realize the spectrum called sexuality which leads to the idea of experimenting with one another to help figure out if they are gay or not. A long story about learning to move on from a war.





	1. Homophobe

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling. I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters. However, this story and plot is entirely mine. 
> 
> Reminder: Parts of this story could potentially be triggering for some readers. I cannot stress this enough, if a chapter or a part is upsetting you please stop reading/skip past the part. Please put yourself first. 
> 
> Also, I just want to say I try to keep all characters on how I felt their character canon-wise would act/react, however, there are some parts that seem out of character (one part in particular I'm thinking about), please refrain from commenting "he/she would NEVER do that" or "this is so out of character". Feel free to comment if your shocked, but trust me I know some things are out of character. There is one thing in particular I know people are probably going to be against, hell even I'm slightly against it, however, there was a reason I put in my novel and I did it on purpose not to just "fuck up everyone's favorite characters". (sorry this disclaimer probably seems unnecessary but when you get to the part I'm talking about, you'll understand).
> 
>  
> 
> Ps. If you're curious I am on Instagram. My username is @ harry.potter.is.gay and I post Drarry proofs plus evidence that Harry is gay/bi so yeah, check that out. It's a fun drarry life I'm living.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> " There's a thin line between love and hate
> 
> and if you're not careful you just might take
> 
> the step and cross over. "
> 
> \- zh

  
**Part 1: The Experiment**

Chapter 1: Homophobe

The hallways were oddly quiet as Draco Malfoy trudged through, barely picking up his feet as he walked. Across the castle Harry Potter still laid in his bed, his eyes shut in a façade of sleep (he really hadn't slept ever since the search of the horcruxes began and now that the war was over it seemed harder to close his eyes sometimes). It was early morning, some may even still refer to it as night, but Draco felt restless and couldn't stand his room any longer. The silence in there was deafening. Ever since the war the Slytherins were never quite the same to him. Draco didn't just feel outcasted by the other houses but his own seemed to avoid his eyes. At first, he must admit, he enjoyed it. It was nice. It was as if people were afraid of him, and fear could become power if used correctly. But, people weren't afraid of him. It turned out people avoided him because they were disgusted.

_Draco Malfoy the Ex-Death Eater._

_Draco Malfoy the Boy Who Couldn't Even Pick A Side and Stay On It._

_Draco Malfoy the One Whose Father Went To Askaban._

_Draco Malfoy the Only Person the Great Harry Potter Bailed Out From Receiving The Same Fate As His Father._

He did understand the debt he owed Harry, but they had let it go. A nod and tight lip smile was exchanged and Draco felt like that sufficed. There was no need to push it any farther. Harry Potter was, after all, doing what he always did: playing hero. However, fellow classmates didn't see it like that and Draco Malfoy had lost his edge.

The hatred he felt from being in his own house combined with the fact that every time he closed his eyes he could still hear the screams from inside Malfoy Manor was why he was now wandering the hallways.

His thoughts were still yelling at him, but at least in the halls he didn't have a chance of accidentally falling asleep and releasing himself into a nightmare. There didn't seem to be a happy dream left in him. Each time he closed his eyes he saw  _him_. Though You Know Who was dead, he was very much alive in Draco's mind.

" _Oof!_ "

Draco had somehow allowed his mind carry him so far away that he managed to run into a hard mass. All color drained from his face. He had successfully been avoiding any confrontation with anyone. If this was another 8th year who had returned to finish his schooling, then this was sure to be a brawl. The only reason Draco hadn't already been pummeled near to death was because by the grace of Merlin he still had Goyle on his side as his guard and because he never put himself in the way of another.

But,  _this_. This was running into someone. This was him being trash for another to step on.

He gulped staring at his feet. He didn't really feel a need to apologize but 'sorry' was on the tip of his tongue. Though he was sure the pain would temporarily push away the hauntings of his past, he didn't really appreciate being attacked.

Draco kept his hands to his sides and his head down.  _Perhaps_ , he wondered,  _if I just stay like this whoever it is will leave._

Suddenly, a thought struck him. Draco took all the strength he could muster and looked up expecting to see someone, but he was meant by nothing. There was no one there. But, yet...he had ran into  _something_. It was hard. And it had made a noise like a deep groan. He ran into somebody, he was sure of it! But, yet...nothing was there. Draco spun around on his heel thinking perhaps he was facing the wrong way, but still there was no one.

He was beginning to feel quite nauseous. Lack of sleep was making him hallucinate. He took deep gulps playing paranoid. He hated this feeling, the feeling of not knowing. A deep chuckle sounded from his right and Draco immediately turned eyes wide but still nothing.

His heart thudded against his chest. He knew it wasn't  _him_ , but yet that laugh...if it was just longer and more sinister...it  _would_  be  _him_.

He was back, he had come back to kill Draco—his servant that had failed him.

Draco wanted nothing more than to run, but his feet were lead and he was quite sure now he was hallucinating. But, he couldn't get his mind to shut up. His mind was running on the idea that Voldemort was here just a few feet away from him. Potter hadn't killed him. It was all just a joke, a ploy to bait Draco into his death. Now here he was months later, his turn to die.

Draco shook his head, this was silly. He knew he was being daft. Voldemort was dead, 'course he was. He sighed getting his heartbeat back into control and regaining his senses.

"W-who's there?" He cursed his stutter, but a part of his mind was still in the Malfoy Manor sitting in the dungeon waiting to know if Voldemort would be practicing the Cruciatus curse on him today or if he would be forced to use it.

The laugh was back again, but it was more lighthearted and slightly recognizable. The chuckle reminded Draco of a time so long ago. Of course at that time the laughter was at the expense of him, but that time was so simple. He longed to go back to then. Then was when snow had just fallen and he'd went to a trip to Hogsmeade only to end up running back to Hogwarts because he'd been attacked by snowballs. The thought could almost make him smile now.

"Malfoy, Malfoy, Malfoy."

He flinched at his name, but let out the breath he didn't realize he was holding.

"Potter," he snarled regaining his senses. He reached out hoping to meet Potter's invisibility cloak, but his hand met thin air.

"Not there," the laugh was back and Draco would had became annoyed, but this was the closest thing to sane he'd occurred in months.

"Come on, Potter. Show yourself."

"Tsk. I think I'd rather not. It's rather amusing watching you flail your boney arms about."

"Git," his voice held malice, but if Potter looked close enough he might mistake Draco's look as a smile.

"Dick."

"W-what?" That was a new insult, one he hadn't heard from Potter before, definitely wasn't one of his best comebacks, but neither of them were really trying too hard.

"Dick, Malfoy. Like the thing you don't have."

"Oh shove off," Draco rolled his eyes faking annoyance, but this was honestly the most fun he'd had since he'd came back to Hogwarts. The past few months Potter had been avoiding him just like everyone else. "Besides, I think you mean dick, the thing you like to suck."

Draco didn't know why he said that, but it had fallen out of his mouth before he could stop himself. Though he hadn't thought much about it, he wasn't sure sucking dick  _could_  be an insult. After all for a guy it was pleasant, but for some reason he knew this would get Potter reeled up—and he was right.

"Excuse you," suddenly the cloak fell to the floor in a shimmer and Draco was standing face to face to Potter for the first time since his trial. Draco was taken aback by the seriousness in Potter's tone. "For your information I don't like to suck dick, but is that offensive to you Malfoy? If I were to like to suck dick?"

Draco was beginning to feel nauseous again. Potter took slow cautious steps towards him making Draco step back into a wall.

"One of my best mates is gay. Does that disgust you, Malfoy?"

He didn't know what to say, he didn't want to accept defeat, but he also didn't enjoy what Potter was accusing him of.

"You know I knew you were biased to blood, but I didn't figure you to be a homophobe too," the ferocity in Potter's voice made Draco's hair stand on edge.

Though Draco was a good foot taller than Potter, he felt incredibly small being up against a wall and Potter staring up at him with his wand clutched tightly. It wouldn't take much to curse him; Draco wouldn't even defend himself if he did.

There was a silence that fell between them, Potter breathing heavily and Draco holding his breath. They seemed to be having a stare off only Draco wasn't participating.

Finally, Potter decided he had won and took a step back; picking up his cloak and beginning to place it back around him.

"I..." Draco began in a whisper, "I really don't mind...if you are gay...I mean if anyone is gay."

He didn't really want Potter to hear it, but when Potter looked over his shoulder with a small smile Draco knew he had.


	2. Friends

  
Chapter 2: Friends

            It was a week before they spoke again or even locked eyes. Draco had stopped showing up to the Great Hall to eat meals and was grabbing what he could from the Kitchen before disappearing to the Room of Requirement. This was his new hideout. He was delighted that, although the room took the shape of Slytherin colors, it didn't look anything like his room back at Malfoy Manor—which meant it was harder to get nightmares inside. Though, if he thought too hard he'd remember the flames that burned Crabbe to death and the screams that surrounded it.

            Then he'd remember the feel of Potter and how he also owed him his life for there as well. If he closed his eyes he could still feel the heat of the flames as they licked him and feel the unsatisfied feeling deep in his stomach. He could feel the curve of Potter's spine as he hunched over him wrapping his arms around his chest for safety. He hadn't thought much of it in the moment, but Potter had lost a lot of weight in the past year (though they both had) but still somehow managed to have a rock hard chest. He appeared so scrawny, but he was sure under his shirt was some outline of abs.

            He quickly shook his head at the thought; it disgusted him to think what Potter looked like underneath clothes even if it was just his chest.

            Draco took a harsh bite off the bread. He wasn't exactly sure what was left for him here at Hogwarts. He only came back because of his mother and because he didn't know what else to do. Perhaps if he had known what it'd be like he wouldn't have returned. He knew though, that no matter what, he wouldn't have been able to take the Malfoy Manor, it was suffocating now. Everything was tainted there. He didn't understand how his mother could stand it. Didn't she still hear her sister screaming curses? Or the cries of those being tortured? Wasn't there still the fear that every corner she turned the Dark Lord would randomly appear?

            The thought made his insides turn and he sat down the bread to remain untouched. His appetite came and went in waves nowadays.

            He thought back to his last conversation with Potter. There were a lot of questions on his mind about that night. He enjoyed thinking about this; it was easier pondering Harry Potter than to think about his past.

            For one, he was curious as to why Potter was wandering the castle so early. And for another why he felt the need to approach him at all.

            Then, why in Merlin's name did he have to get so pissed off at him for saying he liked dick? Stupid Gryffindor pride, Draco assumed. After all, he said one of his best mates was gay. But, who was his best mate?

            There was Ron, of course, but he was dating the Muggle-born Hermione Granger (that was common knowledge after they were caught snogging in one of the corridors near Ravenclaw). Then there was Neville, but last he heard he was chasing after Looney Lovegood.

            After that Draco wasn't quite sure who Potter called his "best mate".

            Draco's mind began roaming away from Potter and to his own troubles again. It occurred to Draco that he didn't have a "best mate" and that he never really ever did. He had Crabbe and Goyle, but that was different. They were friends before they could even talk. Their parents had made sure of that. It was an arranged friendship and one that didn't really count. Even now with only Goyle left he only saw him as a bodyguard. And besides, if Goyle really was Draco's friend, Draco decided, he would have questioned him at least once about his strange attitude lately.

            Draco had been off. He hardly spoke, not even harsh comments. He kept his head low and just tried to push through the year. He was hardly eating and he never slept anymore. It was only a matter of time before he pushed himself off the deep end.

            And Draco Malfoy was beginning to realize, that if he ever got to that point no one would care let alone notice.

~~~

            Harry Potter was piling food onto his plate when he decided to finally look up and glance over at the Slytherin table like he did every meal time. Once again he was met by a different Slytherin, a 5th year who had black hair that didn't stand out like the pale blonde he was looking for.

            "For the last time Ronald, close your mouth when you eat! You look like a buffoon!"

            "Mkay," Ron's words were muffled by the food in his mouth.

            Harry tore his eyes away from the table to face his two friends. He gave a weak smile, but there was an uneasy feeling in his stomach and instead of eating from the large pile of food he placed on his plate, he just poked it.

            "And  _you_ ," Herimone turned to look at Harry with a pointed glance, "stop playing with your food and eat. Merlin. I don't know how on earth I put up with you two." She grumbled before stabbing a piece of chicken with her fork and shoveling it in her mouth.

            Harry only swallowed sitting down his silverware thinking it best to just not do anything.

            "You're in a mood," Ron spoke wiping the grease off his mouth with the back of his hand.

            Hermione rolled her eyes,  _that_  was clearly not the right thing to say.

            "Of course I am, Ron! I have told you a million times why! Will you just leave it alone?"

            "Bloody hell. Okay..." There was a silence in the air before Ron decided he could not leave it alone. "I just don't understand. Why is  _this_  such a big deal?"

            Harry sensed a big fight coming and he didn't especially want to be in the middle of it again. He figured it'd pass over like it always did, so he stood up slowly leaving his dinner untouched, and strode out of the Great Hall. His friends were too heated to notice he had left. 

            It turned out even with the war over things were still determined to not be okay. Hermione and Ron had been arguing for the past few weeks and though it was obvious they were hiding something from him, Harry decided to ignore it. He didn't want to meddle in things he didn't need to meddle in. Besides Hermione had nearly cursed him last he asked why she was in a mood, so he decided to let it go.

            For a moment, Harry thought about returning to Gryffindor Tower to retrieve his invisibility cloak so he could avoid the looks everyone were still determined to give him. But, he thought better of it and decided to go to a place he seldom visited anymore. 

            As he approached the hallway of the Room of Requirement he watched a certain blonde he'd been missing in the Great Hall waltzed out.

            There was a second that passed where Harry hesitated. Malfoy was clearly in a hurry, going the opposite direction to get to the dungeons surely, but Harry missed their playful teasing. That was something that was normal in his life, but yet not even that was happening anymore.

            His voice seemed to make up its own mind, because just a second before Malfoy turned the corner and was gone from his sight he shouted, "Malfoy!"

            He only said it once but the call was enough to make Draco stall. He slowly turned around, his shirt was askew and his hair a mess. It was a curious sight to Harry; he wasn't used to seeing him so unorderly. Granted this reminded him of the night only a week ago. His bags under his eyes didn't seem as bad then though as they did now.

            "What do you want now, Potter? Come to call me a homophobe again?" Malfoy gritted his teeth, but showed no other signs of aggression. In fact he seemed too tired to want to fight. Harry was annoyed at the situation. Why couldn't anything be normal in his life anymore?

            "No, Malfoy. I was actually coming to the Room of Requirement. But, I see I'm not the only one coming. Get a lot of wanking done in there?" He quirked an eyebrow up at him. The words falling out of his mouth were getting twisted in his mind. He wasn't sure what he was saying, he just wanted them to get back to fighting and he wasn't sure what got them fighting in the first place so he decided to go for what made him uncomfortable.

            Malfoy shifted his weight on his feet debating his response. Harry decided it was best to stop him before he could think of something too clever.

            "Wait I forgot you don't have a dick to wank."

            Something broke in him and Harry watched his lip twitch a bit before he continued his façade.

            "Must we really go back over this insult, Potter? We're running in circles, aren't we better than this?"

            At some point Harry's body must had decided to start walking because at the end of Draco's question he was only a foot away from him.

            "I agree..." Harry bit his lip, finally deciding if nothing was normal he must as well screw everything completely up.

            "Can we try something different, Malfoy? Like...Instead of insulting each other or trying to curse each other we just..." He trailed off unsure.

            Malfoy seemed too tired to argue.

            "Like. I just thought. Maybe...maybe we could be friends?"

            That seemed to finally waken something inside Malfoy.

            "I couldn't care less about being friends with a mudblood lover like you, Potter."

            The teasing was back and somehow things had fallen back into normal. But, for some reason Harry was now disappointed they had.


	3. Secrets Unfolded

  
Chapter 3: Secrets Unfolded

Draco's hands trembled. He was back in the common room now; thankfully everyone was still in the Great Hall eating dinner. If anyone saw him like this he was sure to get pummeled to death. He had just barely left Potter's death glare before he lost his composure. He had just denied Harry Potter's friendship, the friendship he so desperately wanted as a first year. The one he had always wanted ever since he realized Harry Potter and he were the same age. At first he only wanted it as a sign of power, but as he grew as a child, he did truly want to say Harry Potter was his friend.

And then it was in his grasp and he threw it all away.

He could still see the slight hurt in Potter's eyes after he shoved his friendship aside; he briefly wondered if that's how he looked when Potter had rejected his handshake.

"Oh well. I see," was all Potter could mutter out before catching his breath and saying, "Wouldn't want to be with the  _wrong_  crowd then?"

Then Draco had the audacity to say, "I think I can tell the wrong sort for myself thanks."

He hated himself for repeating the same words Potter had told him all those years ago, because now Potter knew. He knew how that sentence had offended him and how it had left a burn in his mind for all the years to come.

He clutched his hands tightly. They were numb now. He was losing feeling in his whole body. Now that he thought about it, besides that bit of bread earlier, he couldn't remember the last time he ate.

He squeezed his hands, he knew he should feel something but yet there wasn't anything. He took deep breaths trying to sort out his thoughts.

 _Maybe,_  he decided bitterly,  _this means Potter will go back to actually speaking to me, even if that does mean in insults._

His breathing was beginning to even out, which he thought at first was a good sign, but then he realized that it was because he was not breathing. His vision darkened and he stumbled over to the couch. He could not pass out here, he could only imagine the horror he'd succumbed to, left vulnerable in the common room for any 8th year to touch. It wasn't safe, but his legs were definitely too weak to drag himself all the way back to the Room of Requirement and he was too weak to even climb to his bed. Then another awful thought struck him, the nightmares were about to come. He had been doing well not sleeping.  _If you don't sleep, you don't have the nightmares_ , he realized. But, now, he didn't have a choice.

He tried to fight the darkness as best he could, but he couldn't. He was falling deeper and deeper into it. He could only hope Goyle would be the first to find him. 

-~-

"Did you hear?"

"Wha—?"

"Yes, it's crazy!"

"Can't believe it!"

"I can! No one liked him anyways!"

"Malfoy's wha—?"

The rumors all ceased as Harry climbed down the stairs and into the common room with Ron closely behind. This wasn't an unusual occurrence. People tended to stop and stare at him even more now, they saw it was a sign of respect, but Harry hated it.

"What happened to Malfoy?" Harry couldn't stop himself from asking. He must admit he was still bitter over the afternoon before, him tossing his friendship aside and all. But, he was impressed that he bothered to bring up his first year comment on friendship.

"He's in a coma," a 5th year quipped.

"Yeah beat up by his own house," another girl that was in year 7 added.

"Suppose he'll leave Hogwarts now, I mean this just proves what we all already knew. No one wants him here." A large round of laughter chorused through the Gryffindor common room at the 5th year's comment, but Harry was one of the few that didn't break a smile.

He pushed through the crowd to leave the suffocating room. His head was abuzz. He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes briefly to think.

"He'll be alright, Harry," Hermione's voice startled him and he jumped.

"I honestly don't care about Malfoy."

Hermione gave him a glance and Harry craned his head to see they were alone; Ron must've stayed inside to continue the jokes about Malfoy.

"I see how you look at the Slytherin table every day, Harry. Trust me. I know."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Well you must be blind, because I don't know what look you're seeing. It's a glare, I'm practicing. It got a bit offensive using a mirror so I decided to use someone who actually deserved it. Only he tends to not show up at meal time anymore."

Hermione sighed but fortunately let it go.

"He didn't get beat up too bad, a couple of 8th years got him, but they didn't put him in a coma. Goyle, I guess, stopped them before they did more than give him a black eye and a fractured rib. He had passed out because he wasn't eating. He'll be awake in a day or two as soon as Madam Pomfrey gets him enough nutrients."

"That's good." Harry pinched the bridge of his nose trying not to think about the fire currently running through his veins. He wanted the names of the 8th years that decided to attack someone so vulnerable.  _It wasn't because it was Malfoy,_  he told himself,  _but rather because it was a sick thing to do—beat someone up while they're passed out._

"He's cleared for visits. If you want to go, I'll go with you. Ron won't want to, but I don't mind." Hermione gave a kind smile, but Harry only scoffed.

"I don't feel like seeing a passed out ferret thank you very much."

Hermione shook her head, but decided it best not to argue; besides there were other, more important, matters on her mind.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" She asked.

Harry was hesitant, worried that Hermione only wanted to use this as an opportunity to further bombard him with comments about Malfoy. However, when he saw the look on her face, he got a feeling this was about something else entirely.

The air was beginning to become chilly and there was soft dew in the grass from the early morning. Hermione and Harry trudged through the lawn near the lake in silence, Harry waiting and Hermione thinking. Harry had just noticed something move in the water when Hermione decided to open her mouth.

"I've been keeping something from you Harry..." Her voice was soft and in a subconscious move they both stopped to stare at each other. "Not just me though, Ron too. I guess I was embarrassed, I don't know. Scared maybe? I've been thinking about it a lot but I still can't place my emotions. I kept waiting to tell you, because I thought by the time I told you I would have had a plan, but I don't have one and I really am not sure what I am going to do." Her eyes were misty and Harry placed to hands on her arms hoping to comfort her.

"Shh, 'mione, you're rambling. Just tell me what it is."

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes before mumbling something incoherent.

"Sorry, what was that?"

She opened her eyes to stare into Harry's; they were clear and determined now.

"I'm pregnant."


	4. Fear

  
Chapter 4: Fear

Several emotions coursed through Harry's veins, but the most prevalent was joy and he decided that was the best one to act on.

"That's fantastic, Hermione! Congrats!"

She gave him a weak smile. "Thanks, Harry..." She trailed off before admitting, "I've had a lot of mixed emotions about it." He gave her a curious look.

"Wait! Is that why you've been in such a mood?"

She let out an uneasy laugh before nodding. "I just feel constantly on edge. It's better now that I've told you, but I'm still terrified."

"Of course you are! You're having a kid!"

"Not helping," she rolled her eyes but continued to hold a smile.

A silence fell between them and somehow they ended up sitting on a blanket Hermione had conjured looking out onto the lake.

Harry saw the flash of something moving once again in the water, this time he was able to see it must be the Squid. He could never truly get over the wonders of Hogwarts.

"You know..." Hermione's words cut through the air like a knife, "At first I must admit I thought about getting rid of it...the baby."

Harry turned to look at her, but Hermione was purposefully avoiding his eyes.

"But then," she continued, "I realized that this is what people need right now after the war. People are still mourning. Ron pretends he's okay, but I can see it in his eyes. Sometimes it's like he's still in the war...staring at Fred's dead body."

A shudder passed through Harry. He understood. Even though he lived a part of him truly did die that night and he didn't think he could ever truly be happy again. At night everyone who died for him still played through his mind. He tried to avoid sleeping now, which normally resulted in him wandering the halls.

"I think people need something to look forward to and I think a baby will bring exactly that." Harry admired the look on Hermione's face at the moment. She was staring out into the water almost like she was seeing her future there, her future with Ron and a baby. Her lips were turned upwards in a smile that she appeared to be trying to withhold. "I'm still worried, of course. Ron and I don't have anything figured out. I'll be pregnant when we graduate, so I won't be able to get work right away, but never mind that. Work is hard enough to catch. Ron doesn't have any idea what he wants to do."

Harry gave her a smile, "There's always the Burrow."

Hermione let out a chuckle at that before facing him her eyes lighting up with a fire he had never seen inside her before. "That's what Ron says. He says his mom will be delighted. Give her something to look forward to."

"Yes, I think you're right Hermione. I think a baby will bring a lot of joy everyone needs right now. I mean, of course you're right. You're the smartest witch I know."

Hermione's mood had seemed to be quite cheerier now and she was grinning. "Thank you, Harry. You're quite remarkable too, you know."

He looked away. "I'm not so sure about that..." 

-~-

 _Fire_. Flames were everywhere, they were inescapable. Draco could picture the heat, but he couldn't really feel the pain. Still, though, the fear was there. He spun around to see he was faced with a terrible choice. Potter was here now, only he was also trapped. There was an exit, but only one could leave through it, then the door would slam shut leaving whoever it was trapped inside to burn. Draco immediately took a step towards it and Potter didn't even bother stopping him. A feeling coursed through his body and Draco knew this time he needed to be the hero. Potter deserved to live not him so he paused his steps and held his arm open gesturing to the door. Potter did protest this.

 _Typical Gryffindor_ , Draco shook his head.

The flames rose and soon neither of them would get to live. Realizing Potter wasn't going to budge; Draco swallowed his pride and grabbed his arm. Even though Potter wasn't real, touching his arm lit a new fire through his body.

Without pausing Draco shoved him through the doorway and slammed the door shut.

Suddenly, the room shifted and the fire was extinguished. The sight that greeted him was worse than sacrificing himself for Potter. He was back home now, but he didn't find it comforting like he should. He was in the dungeons shackled to the wall. The memory burned through him. He pulled on his restraints resulting in them pinching his wrists. He could hear the whispers now, he knew who was coming. He needed to leave and get out before it was too late.

His breath came out in short gasps and he craned his head just in time to see the tall snake-like man slither in with his black robe trailing behind. He turned his wand in his hands. There was a sickening grin on his face and Draco didn't like it one bit, but he couldn't show his disgust—he was a Malfoy after all.

He straightened his back best he could, holding his head high. This was the greatest honor a Malfoy could have bestowed upon him. That was what his father had told him. This was necessary to gain the Dark Lord's approval. Lucius had gone through it and survived and now so would he and in return they would gain a power unknown to man.

The Dark Lord reached out a finger trailing over Draco's bare forearm, where a dark mark was waiting to be placed. He hummed to himself debating while Draco focused on keeping his breathing even, one wrong move and he wouldn't just be dead he'd be worse than that—tortured into insanity and watching his parents suffer the same fate (they were in this together now if any one of them screwed up they all would suffer).

 _This is an honor,_  he reminded himself,  _honor, think of how happy this will make Father._

But, Draco was beginning to become confuse on why fear equaled power.

The Dark Lord raised his wand and Draco braced himself for the night of pain. He bit his lip, but the sickening scream was released nevertheless, his father was sure to curse him later for showing weakness.

"Malfoy," a voice hissed.

Draco was confused why the Dark Lord's voice sounded so weird and why he bothered to speak to him while torturing him...this was a new tactic and if he was being honest it made it worse.

"Malfoy," Draco was certain this time that was  _not_  the Dark Lord's voice. But, it was coming out of his mouth...

"Malfoy!"

Draco let out a groan as, with a simple swish, Voldemort faded and the pain disappeared only to be replaced with a dull ache.

"Potter?" He blinked up at him to see only a head floating and feeling a hand on his shoulder. Realizing that his hand was still touching Draco, Potter flinched back like he had met a scalding pot.

"Sorry, you were thrashing around. Thought if it was me and I was in a nightmare, I'd like it if someone woke me up." He said sheepishly.

"It's fine," Draco grunted while wincing, his ribs still hurt and there was a deep throb in his skull. Now that he was faced with speaking with Potter in such a weak state he preferred being back into the nightmare.


	5. Nightmares

Chapter 5: Nightmares

It was nearly 2AM when Harry decided to get out from bed. He didn't intend on directly going to visit Malfoy but once his invisibility cloak was on, his legs dragged him there without a thought.

For a moment he just stood over him watching him sleep. He seemed a lot nicer like this, with his eyes closed (though one was still black and puffy). His lips were pressed in a frown, but that was better than that Merlin awful smirk. His hair was still a mess, but this time it was pushed over on one side due to how he was sleeping.

Harry couldn't help but think, like this he actually could be attractive...but he was an absolute annoying git and no amount of good looks could make up for a terrible personality.

Yet, why had his feet guided him here? He was curious he supposed...He didn't seem too injured, Hermione had been truthful.

Harry was just about to take a seat and spend the rest of the night watching the boy sleep, when Malfoy let out a soft groan and furrowed his eyebrows together.

"No...you...go. You deserve...go." The words came out forced through Malfoy's mouth. Harry felt odd watching him toss and turn. A nightmare must be plaguing his mind, Harry decided as Malfoy let out another groan and thrashed once again.

He waited a moment hoping it would just pass, but instead it grew worse. He was trembling now letting out muffled gasps of pain. Harry could only imagine the horror he was being forced to witness. Harry took a deep breath realizing he needed to try to wake him up. He forced his hands on Malfoy's shoulders attempting to shake him awake while whispering his name harshly. He wasn't sure he would be able to wake him up, if he was in a coma it would be no use.

Finally, though Malfoy's grey eyes were wide open and he stared up at Harry.

Harry let out a weak apology and for a moment regretted waking Malfoy up, now that he was giving him a glare that could kill.

"What are you doing here?" Malfoy muttered.

Harry paused. What was he doing here?

"Couldn't sleep...Came down here for some sleeping draught."

"In your invisibility cloak?"

"Yes in my invisibility cloak, even if I am coming for medicine I'll still get in trouble for it being after hours," there was an edge in Harry's voice that always seemed to come out around Malfoy.

"Mhmm," he wasn't believing a word of Potter's lies, but he also didn't have a better explanation on why Harry Potter was the one to wake him up in the middle of the bloody night. "Better still be off though. Madam Pomfrey won't be back till morning. She told me when she was giving me the last of my medications."

Harry bit his lip debating. "I'd rather stay actually."

Malfoy raised an eyebrow at this. "Suit yourself. I'm not going to be doing anything. I only fell asleep because she gave me one of those damn sleeping draughts you so desire."

As Harry settled into the chair next to Malfoy he thought about this.

"Wh-what were you dreaming about?" It was a very personal question, one he expected Malfoy to roll his eyes at and come back with a snarky remark something like 'Wouldn't you like to know'. Surprisingly though, he was too tired to do so.

"It's always the same..." He stared out into the darkness.

They were alone; no one else had been injured recently. It was a rather calm season and Quitditch matches weren't starting for another week (Harry was in a rage when McGonagall told him 8th years weren't allowed to play, because they had an unfair advantage).

"I get nightmares too..." Harry admitted. "That's why I was wandering the halls the other night when I ran into you." He wasn't sure why he was telling Malfoy, his enemy, this out of all the people. But, it felt nice to chat to someone else who just understood. Sure, Hermione and Ron experienced it all, but they were still able to get a decent amount of sleep. He couldn't recall Ron waking up screaming like he did before he finally decided it was better not to try to sleep. Harry realized that if he took great lengths of time without sleeping, when he finally would sleep he'd be so tired he'd just pass out with no dreams at all.

"It's always the war for me. Aspects at least. Though, my life was the war. I see them...everyone who died for me...every time I close my eyes."

Malfoy still didn't say anything only adjusted his position to sit up more; he winced as he did so, clearly the rib wasn't quite healed yet.

It was a long while till one of them spoke again.

"Mine, they're always about the Dar—Voldemort."

Harry turned to look at him. He didn't see Draco Malfoy his enemy anymore. He saw the silhouette of a skinny boy with wide eyes and who had lack of sleep and food slowly deteriorating his body. He saw someone still afraid despite the war being long won. But, there was a new war brewing, the one inside his mind.

"The only time they don't involve him is when—" Malfoy abruptly stopped himself.

"Is when?" Harry quipped.

"It's nothing," he snapped before quickly falling back down almost like he was going to attempt to sleep again.

"Whatever, it's not like I didn't just pour my heart out to you."

"Oh shut up, Potter. Don't act like you don't tell every single person your sob story. You're the great Harry Potter. I bet everyone is dying to know what goes on in the dreams of yours," Malfoy mumbled into his pillow, though the pillow did soften the blow the malice was still there.

"Actually, I don't."

Malfoy turned his head a bit to catch a glance at Harry, but not enough for him to notice.

"I don't tell anyone about my nightmares, because you're right, it is a sob story. And I don't need anyone's pity. And you're also right everyone is dying to know what goes on and it bloody sucks. Don't you dare act like you have it so worse than me Malfoy, because I actually think at times we both have it equal on the shit scale."

Malfoy really stared at him this time.

"We are as alike as Granger is to being pure."

Potter gritted his teeth before standing up and grabbing his cloak.

"You're lucky I don't make your black eye two," he spun around to leave, but stopped at the last second, "And another, Granger is the best damn witch out there and you know it too. Which is why I think you're so obsessed with using her to throw insults at me."

Potter left shaking while Draco pulled the covers up to his chin. He stared at the spot where Potter had just sat thinking, but the only thing he could sort out in his mind was that he'd rather have Potter be here hurtling insults at him than leaving him alone with the demons inside his mind.


	6. Malfoy's Return

  
Chapter 6: Malfoy's Return

Harry arrived back to the Gryffindor tower still trembling in anger. His mind was clouded over and he didn't bother being quiet as he threw his trunk open to shove his invisibility cloak back in. Thankfully, most of the other boys were deep sleepers—compliments of the war—but Ron wasn't so lucky. He peeked up at Harry with one eye as he settled into his bed grumbling to himself.

"What's with you?" Ron's voice was hoarse and he seemed to still be asleep, but that didn't stop him from opening his mouth.

"Just fucking—" He realized then that he was going to be telling Ron that he had visited Draco Malfoy in the hospital wing in the middle of the night. What reasonably explanation did he have for doing so? It's not like it  _meant_  anything. But still, it was a bit odd.

"Nothing." He finished. Ron gave him a cautious look. For a second Harry felt guilty, but then he remembered that Hermione and Ron had withheld her pregnancy from him for weeks, that was way worse than what he was doing.

"Fucking nothing?" Ron chuckled at that before sighing and saying, "okay," and turning his head to go back to bed.

Harry pulled his white linen sheet around his body, but he knew he wasn't going to sleep anytime soon. He couldn't, if he did he'd just fall into a hole of nightmares. Last time he woke up screaming because he was seeing Cedric Dicgory die over and over again only this time he was falling into the black veil that had also taken Sirius away. It wasn't pleasant when Ron sat by his bedside with a frown and asking him what the dream was about.

He'd muttered nothing then too. 

-~-

Draco Malfoy got out of the hospital Sunday morning, "just in time for classes the following morning" Madam Pomfrey had said. McGonagall had already came and spoken to him about his sleeping arrangements, but there was nothing to be done. Draco refused to let them win and told her that it was probably just an accident. She gave him a pointed glance, but Draco didn't budge his opinion.

Madam Pomfrey demanded that he be at every meal in the Great Hall and now McGonagall would be searching the scene for the blonde haired boy, so he didn't have a choice but to go to breakfast that day.

It wasn't like it mattered though, he still hardly ate.

Draco hadn't really expected anyone to notice his presence missing, but when he walked into the Great Hall it felt like everyone turned to look at him before quickly going back to their meals with whispers. As he scanned the room he locked eyes for a moment with Potter's green orbs. A shutter passed through him and he held his cold composure, hoping that his glare would be enough to break him.

He had, had three other nightmares since Potter had woken him from his last. They didn't end as abruptly as the first unfortunately. Though, they all seemed to revolve around the boy. The one last night was the terror that passed through him more frequently now that he was seeing Potter more often. He could still hear his voice lying and see Potter's deformed face that looked like it had been stun by multiple bees. Then he could feel the punishment. Curcioed to the point of blackout, only to be reawakened and put through a new torture. There were new scars lining his chest now, permanent ones. Dark magic always leaves a trace and no matter how many times Draco had tried to conceal them, they'd always reappear in a matter of seconds.

At nights he wondered to himself if he had known the torture he'd have to go through for lying if he still would have done so...the answer was always yes.

Potter gave him a curious glance, unlike the one Draco was hoping to get—a cool and collected stare. He didn't like Potter's constant changes in moods. One second they're chatting like friends other times they're back as enemies. He didn't like these constant transitions. He just wanted everything to go back to normal, before the war. He understood how to treat him then. But, now there was an odd sense of respect that felt like it needed to be acknowledged and not to mention the debt.

He felt like they were even, but at the same time the debt of saving one's life could never be put up to price. Even if Draco had saved Potter's at one point, they didn't cancel each other out. They were not equals. No matter how much Potter wanted to try and say. Even if they both went through crap, there was no comparison to be made between the Saint Harry Potter and the Ex Death Eater.

Draco quickly turned his head and settled into the Slytherin table inbetween Pansy and Goyle.

After watching Malfoy make his return and take his place with the Slytherins Harry turned his attention back to his friends. Hermione was chattering on about their Potions homework that was challenging, she enjoyed the challenge she said though. Harry didn't have much to say on school anymore. It was his only constant in life, but that didn't mean he had to like it. He stared out amongst the crowd thinking about how pale Malfoy had looked. He did seem better though, his hair was styled once again—slicked back with no hope of moving—and his shirt was tucked in nicely. But, something was off. Harry just couldn't place what it was.

Harry blinked as he noticed a certain red head looking at him with curious eyes, he quickly turned away and began listening in to Hermione continue explaining how they had to completely change the curriculum due to the 8th years being in Hogwarts.

"Especially for us you know...We've already learned a great deal on our own. It wouldn't exactly be hard for us to do some of the 7th years spells." Ron nodded in agreement with Hermione's words, his mouth full of bacon.

They didn't seem to be fighting anymore, which helped to put Harry on ease, but still the hair on the back of his neck seemed to rise and he didn't like the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach.

He wanted to look up to see if Ginny was still staring, but he was also worried he'd catch her eyes again. He decided he needed to know, but when he looked up he didn't catch the eyes of Ginny but rather Malfoy. He was staring at him just as he did all those years before, there was a glare and used to it would have made Harry roll his eyes but now he had an overwhelming urge to chuckle. It didn't look that menacing anymore.

"What's with you, Malfoy?" Harry said over the crowd.

Hermione stopped talking and Ron turned to look at him. As far as they knew, he hadn't spoken to Malfoy since the Manor.

"Harry, mate, what are you doing? No need to start that feud back up again," Ron muttered gingerly placing a hand on Harry's shoulder. He shoved it off as Malfoy sneered. The rest of the Slytherin table was listening intently, but kept their conversations going as if to pretend they weren't eavesdropping.

"Don't you worry Weasel, Potter started the feud again a whole month ago."

Ron furrowed his eyebrows but Harry didn't bother to explain.

"You better now that you're out of the hospital?" The question slipped out of Harry's mouth before he could think.

Malfoy instantly straightened up holding his head high.

"For your information, Potter, The hospital was a pleasant occasion. Hardly anything wrong with me. So it is not a matter of whether or not I feel better, it's if I still feel brilliant. And if you are so bothered with wanting to know the answer to that question, then yes. I still feel brilliant."

Malfoy immediately got up from his seat. Harry cocked an eyebrow up at him.

"Really? It was a pleasant occasion?"

Malfoy sent Harry another one of his glares.

He kept his lips tight as he spoke through gritted teeth, "Yes." Then he spun around and strode out of the great hall after only having a sip of orange juice.

Harry turned back to his table with a smug look on his face, which Ron and Hermione immediately rubbed off.

"What the hell was that about Harry?" Ron asked.

"That was completely uncalled for. McGonagall made herself very clear the start of the term, we are to have unity amongst the houses. Malfoy was just sitting there, it didn't warrant an attack."

"Well to be fair, Hermione, Malfoy just sitting there  _does_  warrant an attack. And I don't think Harry calling the ferret out has any real importance, I'm talking about Harry wanting to know if he feels better. Who cares what he feels?"

"Ronald!" Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Alright, who cares about what he feels besides his mommy?" Ron chuckled at that but it resulted in a hit from Hermione in the arm.

Harry realized he didn't exactly have an answer for what he did so he just shrugged. Hermione gave him another one her knowing looks and Ron just mumbled something about Malfoy being "a right git for calling me a Weasel."

Harry wasn't too interested in breakfast anymore so he excused himself by saying he had homework to do, this was correct he had a potions essay due tomorrow morning, but he wasn't going to work on it quite yet. He felt like visiting the Room of Requirement.


	7. Dream Confessions

  
Chapter 7: Dream Confessions

            After his confrontation with Potter, Draco Malfoy felt it best to take a random flight of stairs and wander the halls. Though he was an 8th year, he still hadn't seen all of Hogwarts. It was far too big to ever know everything about the castle; he'd gotten close though due to his nightly walks.

            As he roamed the floor he noticed he was nearing the area with the Room of Requirement, not wanting to go there he spun around only to see a raven haired boy turn the corner.

            He rolled his eyes.

            "Following me, Potter?" He spitted out.

            He only shook his head, "I wanted to pay a visit to the Room of Requirement. If you were planning to as well you can feel free to join me. You know the nice thing about the room is that it becomes whatever we want."

            "Yes, that's wonderful Potter, it'll give me a chamber to torture you in. A nice set of ropes...maybe some shackles."

            "I didn't take you for the type, Malfoy. It wasn't exactly what I had in mind, but we can give it a go if you'd like," Potter said waltzing pass Draco and began walking back and forth in front of the door.

            Draco's eyebrows furrowed together.

            "Excuse me?"

            Potter looked over his shoulder with a playful grin.

            "You know, actually now that I think about it, I think that would be exactly your kink."

            "Kink?" Draco's eyes were wide and suddenly the connection was made. His face contorted into disgust and annoyance. "What is wrong with you Potter?!"

            Suddenly, he erupted in a laugh only furthering Draco's anger.

            "That's not funny!"

            "But, it is," Potter hunched over still cackling, "You're face. My goodness. You looked like you were constipated."

            He continued to laugh and Draco clutched his wand. "You know I could curse you any second," he growled raising his right hand.

            Potter stood straight again wiping off his eyes to rid them of the moisture that had been gathering.

            "You won't though."

            He was right, Draco's hand was shaking and though he was annoyed a small smile was trying to break through. Potter's laugh was contagious.

            "Will you join me though? There won't be a torture chamber unfortunately, I have a feeling there might be a couch though. Maybe some breakfast since we both skipped. What do you say?"

            Draco still held his hand up towards Potter's chest, but it was faltering and Draco was finding it hard to figure out why he hated Potter so much in the first place (besides the obvious hurt of rejection and then the Dark Lord looming over him).

            "Why would I want to join  _you_ , Potter?" He asked coolly.

            "Like I said before I think we're equals. We both saw things no one should have to see. And I think it would be nice to just  _talk_  to someone for once."

            "We don't  _talk_  though, we just hurtle insults at each other," but as he spoke Draco lowered his wand and stepped forward.

            Potter pushed the door open and revealed a room with not just a couch but also a bed complimented with a bathroom.

            "Whoa," Draco couldn't stop it from leaving his mouth. He'd been here so many times, but never once got it to look this good. The most he could get out of it was a dingy couch. He would never admit it out loud but he knew it was because of Potter's most superior magic.

            "This is quite nice, did you picture the bed? Or was that my doing?" He asked while flopping himself onto the plush sheets.

            "You," Draco breathed.

            "Hmm well good touch me. Oh look! Sausage!" He rolled off the bed to grab a patty off the tray on the bedside nightstand and take a bit of it the grease getting all over his face.

            Draco rolled his eyes, "Could you  _try_  to be a bit more tidy? I don't see napkins anywhere and here you are eating like a pig."

            Potter smiled and licked the grease off his lips. "You won't like this, but...You sounded just like Hermione there."

            He gave a taken aback look, "You're right. I did not enjoy that comparison."

            That caused Potter to laugh again.

            "Will you  _stop_  that?"

            "What?" Potter looked around feeling for the nonexistence grease on his face. "What did I do this time?"

            "You're happy! How can you be so goddamn happy one moment then at my throat the next?" Realizing his outburst Draco turned to face away from the boy. He didn't like Potter knowing that he affected him.

            He heard Potter get up to join him by his side, but he still refused to look at him.

            "I dunno... I think it's the lack of sleep that's got me acting so strangely. I don't really know."

            Draco bit his lip trying to debate his response. "Nightmares?" He asked simply.

            "Yeah..."

            "I had three. Three more since that other night when you woke me up. Madam Pomfrey wouldn't leave me without forcing sleeping draught down my throat." Draco didn't know why he was admitting this to Potter, but it did feel nice to talk to someone about this. But, he knew it would only be a few minutes before Potter would throw it back in his face.

            "Do you want to tell me about them? We can take turns if you'd like. It might be easier that way."

            Draco didn't respond, instead he turned around not looking at Potter and sat onto the bed loosening his tie and throwing it off. He felt Potter join him sitting cross-legged next to him, but they didn't say anything to acknowledge his presence.

            Slowly Draco began to unbutton his top, but stopped about halfway. He turned to face Potter and pulled his shirt open.

            "Are those..." He mumbled blinking.

            "No. You didn't cause these scars." Draco swallowed. "This...When I got these scars...That's what my nightmares consist of."

            Potter continued to stare at the pale red slashes that seemed completely healed but not beginning to fade, they stood out against Draco's pallid skin. Draco didn't leave his shirt open longer than necessary and began buttoning it back up.

            "You're turn..." He muttered trying to hide his shaking hands.

            "You want me to take off my shirt too?" Potter asked. Draco broke in a small smile.

            "No...what are you're nightmares about? Like you're most recent one?"

             _Cedric_ , Harry thought. But, he couldn't even tell Ron this how was he supposed to tell his enemy this?

            "I can't remember."

            Malfoy looked up with him, the signature glare was back.

            "Oh, I see how it is. Get me to come in here, tell you my deepest fear then I get nothing in return. Is someone in here recording too? You going to give it to the Slytherins so they can use it against me?" Malfoy was beginning to get up and stomp out. The words, "My father will hear about this!" were on the tip of his tongue although there wasn't a punch to them anymore.

            "No, wait! Malfoy! That's not..." He sighed. "Please, just. Sit back down."

            He turned to glare at him but settled back into the bed.

            "I just haven't told anyone about it. And it's just still a bit personal. Besides, I don't think you're exactly being fair. You just showed me some scars, that means nothing when I don't have a story to go with them."

            Malfoy bit his lip at that before giving a nod for Harry to continue.

            "The last nightmare I had was Cedric dying over and over again and all I could do was watch. And he was dying the same way my Godfather, Sirius, died."

            Malfoy held the same look that Harry had just moments ago.

            "I-I'm sorry," he muttered.

            Harry gave him a rough smile, "Now are you going to explain how you got those scars?"

            Malfoy's immediate reaction was to tighten all his muscles and put up walls. "It doesn't matter."

            "It does actually. You could have gotten the scars by trying to give Buckbeak a pet again."

            Malfoy's face contorted into a small smile. "I would never give that horrendous beast another go."

            Harry laughed at that before beginning to mock that memory. "Oh it's killed me! The bloody thing's killed me!" He whined clutching his arm.

            Malfoy gave a weak chuckle and shoved Harry lightly, the motion caused him to immediately pull back and stop laughing while Harry continued his outburst.

            Once he'd calmed down he waited for Malfoy to begin the story.

            "Voldemort gave them to me," he stated simply.

            "He tortured you?" Harry must admit he'd never given much thought on what went on, on the other side—not unless it was something detrimental to him. It never crossed his mind that Malfoy had to undergo anything like that.

            "Yes...On multiple occasions. It wasn't just him, sometimes Bellatrix joined—she wasn't any better than him though. And once in a while, afterwards my father would also put in his two cents in."

             "Lucius?!" Harry's blood boiled. "Your own family tortured you?"

             "Well..." Malfoy was beginning to not enjoy this conversation especially because he felt Harry's eyes judging him. "They didn't really torture me. They were just trying to teach me a lesson. It honestly wasn't that big of a deal. I didn't mind my father or Bellatrix as much."

            Harry shook his head. "I can't believe those bastards. All of those Death Eaters, no better than Voldemort himself," he spoke with such disgust it was like there was something nasty in his throat he wanted to cough out.

            Malfoy stood up taller now.

            "I think you're forgetting, Potter. I am one of those Death Eaters. And my father is  _not_  a bastard. You have no right to speak about him like that."

            Malfoy's eyes pierced through Harry, but they both weren't backing down.

            "You were forced to be a Death Eater, that's completely different. And if he was hurting you than yes, I have every right to speak about him like that. Nothing gives someone a right to abuse a child."

            There were two arguments brewing and Malfoy couldn't decide which one was better to fight, so he continued the battle with both sides.

            "I wasn't forced Harry. I was given a choice too you know. I could have chosen death. If I wanted. I am no better than the lot of them. And as for abusive parents, I did not have an abusive father. He wanted the best for me. He did what he thought was best. You wouldn't understand, because you never had a father to care for you."

            Harry couldn't take it any longer without even bringing his wand out of his pocket he whispered a jinx.

            Malfoy was immediately thrown back against the wall with a loud bang. He let out a yelp caught off guard.

            Harry's eyes widened and he was stuck between apologizing and saying "serves you right". But, truth was he hadn't meant to be so aggressive so he jumped up and ran over to where Malfoy now laid on the ground.

            "Fuck off," he said as Harry tried to help him back up.

            "I hadn't meant to throw you so hard."

            "It's fine, Potter," he grunted clutching his back.

            "No, do you need to go back to the hospital wing? I can walk you."

            "NO POTTER!"

            Harry stared at him.

            "She'll just give me more sleeping draught and I'm not going through that again. And besides if word got out I was back in the hospital, and this time because of the Great Harry Potter, I'd be dead by the time I got back to the Slytherins."

            Malfoy grunted as he went to rest his back by lying on the bed.

            "Can you just leave?" He muttered. Harry gave a glance to the door, but he didn't really feel like leaving.

            "Can you not be such a prat?" Harry retorted before sliding on to the other side of the bed and staring up at the ceiling with Malfoy.


	8. Talking

  
Chapter 8: Talking

            They stared at the ceiling together in silence. Draco closed his eyes briefly feeling his heartbeat in his spine. The throw probably wouldn't have hurt so much if he hadn't had been hit there in the past too many times. Anger still cursed through his pain. His father was  _not_  abusive. How dare Potter even make such an accusation? And how dare he act so high and mighty? Surely he'd been punished once or twice. 

            "Didn't the muggle family you stay at ever give you a good beating once in a while?" Draco asked opening his eyes to see Potter had his hands folded on his stomach.

            "No, they actually didn't."

            Draco shook his head, "Of course they didn't. Precious Harry Potter, they probably worshipped you too much."

            "Actually no. They didn't do that either."

            Draco wanted to sit up and look at the boy, but his back hurt too much to attempt such a thing

            "Didn't they know you were a powerful wizard?"

            "Well, they actually hate magic so—"

            "Exactly what the problem is with muggles. They're so blind to beauty," Draco bit with disgust. 

            "Not all muggles are like them, Malfoy," he sighed.

            A silence fell between them, before Draco couldn't take the curiosity anymore.

            "So...how did they treat you?" He spoke cautiously; he didn't really want Potter to know he was that interested.

            "Well...You know house elves?"

            "Yes, Potter, I've had a fair share of those," Draco responded confused on how that held any relevancy.

            "I think I would compare to my treatment to that to how you treated house elves."

            Draco's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "We treat them as dirt though. Like they're not even people, making them cook for us, do our chores..." He trailed off before sitting up not caring about the pain he felt.

            Potter gave a small nod. "I slept in a cupboard for the first eleven years of my life," he said with a tone of remembrance not fazed by his statement at all.

            "And you said my father abused me! You were living in an abusive household all along!" Draco's heart pounded and his hatred for muggles only grew.

            "I didn't live in an abusive household. You were the one getting beat!"

            "Just a slap or two! I wasn't treated like a house elf!" Draco's hairs on his arm raised on edge and his stomach twisted at the thought. "Were you even fed?"

             "Yes," Potter seemed applauded at the implication, "I mean. I had the scrapings."

            "Oh the scrapings! Of course! How lovely!" Draco's voice dripped in sarcasm. "No wonder you were so scrawny first year." He shook his head. "And here you are trying to say I'm the one being abused! You should have seen yourself! Living in a cupboard, my word! I had a room with a fireplace, a  _fireplace_!"

            "Yes, but I wasn't being corrupted 24/7!" Potter bit back.

            Draco rolled his eyes annoyed that they kept coming back to his past.

            "Y'know what? Let's just settle. Maybe we both were abused? Maybe we're both just as fucked up as the other," Potter muttered.

            Draco slide back down onto the bed. "I am  _not_  fucked up."

            Potter chuckled at that. "Look at where we are. Laying in a bed together staring at a ceiling,  _talking_ , granted we're arguing quite a bit, but still that's a large improvement from past us. Something must have happened to get this to work out."

            "Yeah, you killed one of the main people that made sure I had to hate you," the words slipped out before Draco could stop them. He flushed slightly.

            Potter really laughed at that.

            "Well, I suppose that's just one more benefit of ridding the world of Voldemort." 

            Draco glanced over at Potter who seemed not fazed by his statement and just causally staring at the ceiling.

            "Talking to me...is a benefit?" Draco's voice was weak and he didn't know how to feel about the thought.  _Why in the world would Potter enjoy speaking to him?_

            "Well yes. I asked you earlier, Malfoy, to be my friend. That's still on the table..." He glanced over at him, but Draco quickly looked away.

            "I told you no," he muttered but his heart was beating rapidly in his chest at the thought. His back hurting was completely gone now.

            "Well if you ever change your mind, I'm here."

            Draco was about to mention them possibly talking some more, but he felt the bed shift. For a second Draco's stomach twisted thinking that Potter had moved closer, but instead he had rolled off the bed and was grabbing one last sausage patty before moving towards the door.

            "Gotta go finish that Potion's essay," he said through a mouthful.

            Draco nodded, but didn't say anything as he watched Potter turn around and shut the door behind him, his goodbye stuck in his dry throat.

            A billion thoughts ran through his mind and Draco hated that they all revolved around Potter.

            Harry took slow cautious steps back to the Gryffindor tower. He was sure to be ambushed by his friends, but decided it was best to get this over with now rather than later. He was still wondering what on Earth was going on between Malfoy and him. At times it felt like they could actually be friends, but then they'd resort to their same selves from before the war and Harry didn't want to be friends with that annoying git.

            Just as assumed the moment Harry stepped into the common room Hermione and Ron approached them.

            "Where have you been mate?" Ron asked.

            "We checked the library and you weren't there. We've been so worried about you," Hermione added in her normal bossy tone though Harry noticed she had one hand gently on her stomach, almost like instinct.

            "I went to the Room of Requirement is all..." He muttered hoping he could end it at that.

            "That's where Draco goes though?" Hermione commented and Ron turned to stare at her.

            "How do you know that? And second  _Draco_? Excuse me?" He grunted.

            "Well I was speaking to Pansy and—"

            "Pansy? You don't even know Pansy! You hate the Slytherins!"

            Harry could feel another fight coming on and he let out a sigh as Hermione shouted, "Ronald! House unity!"

            The one benefit of their fighting was that it deflected off the real finding at hand...but only for a few minutes.

            After Harry was settled into the couch nearest to the fireplace Hermione and Ron were back smiling and joined him, Ron with his arm wrapped around Hermione and Hermione leaning her head against his shoulder.

            "So was Draco there, Harry?" Hermione asked sweetly, but there was a twinkle in her eyes suggesting that she already knew everything.

            "Yes he was..."

            Ron didn't seem to like this information and immediately assumed the only reasonable answer was that Harry had followed him to duel.

            "We didn't fight...well not exactly. I dunno. It was pleasant. We actually chatted a bit."

            "What about?" Hermione leaned forward anxious to hear everything about Harry and Malfoy's blossoming friendship. But, Harry shifted feeling uncomfortable.

            "I don't know. Just about the war I guess."

            "Well, I find it weird that you two are...chatting. But, good for you, Harry," suddenly Ron's voice dropped into a new tone, "Really playing up the house unity thing."

            Harry laughed at that and shook his head.

            "No really. Sometimes I just feel bad for him..."

            Ron gave him a kind smile and nodded, "I get that. But, also...Karma ya know?"  
               
            "Yeah...I know."

            Suddenly another red head appeared at the edge of the couch. Harry tried to get up and excuse himself by pretending someone hadn't just joined them, but Hermione acknowledged her too quickly.

            "Ginny!"

            She smiled widely, her white teeth shinning.

            "Hi, Hermione," she nodded towards her, "Ron." She paused, lingering on Harry's body before speaking. "Harry."

            He swallowed realizing there was no way he could escape this time.

            "If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to speak to you in private."

            And Harry knew he couldn't avoid this conversation any longer.


	9. The Avoided Conversation

Chapter 9: The Avoided Conversation

"Hi, Gin."

They had decided to walk down the hall to find somewhere more secluded. They were now beside a pillar in a corner; the area seemed to be abandoned.

"Hey, Harry," Ginny's voice was smooth and she brushed a piece of hair behind her ear.

"I'm sorry we haven't gotten a chance to talk before this," Harry began.

Ginny shook her head with a weak smile. "No, you aren't. You have been avoiding me since school's began. And you've been doing a good job too."

Harry sighed and nodded, no use denying it. He didn't really know what to say to her so he'd been avoiding the whole thing.

"I think I deserve you to talk to me though, after all we've been through."

He swallowed and leaned against the pillar.

"You're right, Ginny. And I'm sorry." His glasses began falling down his nose and he pushed them back up.

"It's okay, Harry. You can tell me if you don't want to get back together. I just don't appreciate this useless pandering."

He bit his lip, his palms were sweaty and he didn't enjoy how close she was. Ginny was beautiful with her long red hair and rosy cheeks. But, when he looked at her he didn't  _feel_  anything. His heart didn't beat faster; he didn't feel sick at the thought of never seeing her. He liked her because it felt like the  _right_  thing to do. It just felt like they were supposed to be together, so he tried to make it work. And then there was a high chance he was going to die so he decided to end it. But, now there wasn't anything to stop them from being together forever, so why did it still not feel like what he wanted to do?

"I...I don't know how I feel, Ginny."

She frowned and blinked rapidly trying hard to continue facing him.

"Well you need to figure it out. You can't just keep dragging me along. I won't be used like I was with Dean."

Harry's eyebrows furrowed. "You said you two broke up because we kissed."

She sighed and ran a shaking hand through her hair. "That was after I'd heard about him kissing Seamus."

Harry's stomach contorted as it always did when anyone brought up this fiasco. Dean and Seamus had been a long withheld affair that didn't come out till after the war, the origin of it was a secret, but clearly Ginny knew more than Harry had.

"They've been dating since then?" Harry was flabbergasted and his mouth opened and closed like a blubbering fish.

"Yes," she sighed exasperated like she had repeated the story a million times, "He only used me to cover up the fact that he was gay and to make Seamus jealous because he was dating Lavender. My goodness, Harry, did you honestly not notice?"

"I was a bit preoccupied if you don't remember, you know, I was trying not to uh... _die_!"

Ginny rolled her eyes before placing both hands on Harry's arms. He immediately stiffened.

"If I kiss you...Will that help make you decision?" She whispered already leaning in. There was less than a foot of distance between them, but Harry still felt nothing. He was numb and didn't know how to react to the sudden closeness. He allowed her to place her lips against his and he moved his with ease, but it didn't feel quite right. There was never a real spark between them, though he had desperately been trying to find one. Ginny made the most logical sense to Harry on who he should date, but yet his heart kept denying it.

Ginny pulled back with her eyes still closed.

"I'm sorry, Gin..." He mumbled and she gave a small nod putting distance back between them. A tear escaped and she hastily wiped it away.

"It's okay, Harry. Really it's okay. We can still be friends though, right?"

Harry gave a comforting smile and nodded.

"Of course."

-~-

Draco Malfoy laid on his back for a quite while longer in the Room of Requirement before finally venturing out for lunch. He tried not to look over at the Gryffindor table, because he didn't feel like facing Potter after their previous confusing morning. But, curiosity ran through his veins and he glanced up. He noticed the other redhead Ginny was sitting with them again. He found that odd, but decided that Potter and the Weaslette must have finally made up. He knew they had been dating the previous year, but he didn't bother to pay much attention to the fall out.

He sighed deciding it best not to think too hard about it. He took a piece of chicken and began cutting it up to eat, the smaller the bites the easier it was for him to manage.

"How are you, Draco?" Pansy asked. "Did you clear your head in the Room of Requirement?"

"Something like that." He muttered.

"Hermione told me she was looking for Potter...You didn't run into him and get into a fight did you? I saw you clutching your back."

"Something like that..."

She sighed, "You know you ought to be careful. You don't want to end up with another attack. You've been all the talk."

"I bet."

His throat tightened and he didn't enjoy the idea that everyone hated him. It seemed so hypocritical of them. Just because he was the one outed didn't give them an excuse to hold it against him. Plenty of the other Slytherins' parents fought along side the Dark Lord, but yet because he was the only student baring the mark, they hated him.

He tasted blood and realized it was the inside of his cheek.

"Goyle and I can walk you to all your classes, if you'd like."

Draco only grunted in response. He didn't want to admit his weakness, but truth was if any of the Slytherins tried anything, even if it was the tiny first years, he'd just let them beat him to a pulp. His strength was gone. At times it felt easier to just let things happen to him. 


	10. Nothing's Going On

Chapter 10: Nothing's Going On

Potions was a bit more pleasant for Harry now that Professor Snape wasn't there constantly looking over his shoulder for something to take Gryffindor points away. But, there was something unsettling about being in the classroom without his presence there.

Harry sat in his usual seat with Ron on his right and Hermione on the other side of Ron. He was staring out into space thinking, he couldn't be bothered to write down notes to the silly things flying out of Professor Slughorn's mouth. Out of habit Harry turned his head over his shoulder to look back at Malfoy. Malfoy had his quill in his hand but was just turning it around rather than writing anything. Pansy was whispering into his ear, something funny Harry assumed do to her smile, but Malfoy kept his same blank stare. His cheeks were still sunken in and the dark undereye circles suggested he still hadn't gotten any sleep.

It had been over a week since their last conversation. Harry was half expecting a random owl in the week from Malfoy professing that he wanted to be his friend. But, that owl never came.

Professor Slughorn's voice boomed through the room, "That's all for today. I'll see you all Wednesday."

Hermione and Ron quickly packed their things, but Harry took his time folding his papers extra smoothly. He watched Malfoy as he continued to sit, Pansy still whispering to him. She was touching his arm now and laughing wholeheartedly.

"Come on mate, it's lunch time," Ron said giving Harry a short shove snapping him out of the stare he'd been giving Malfoy and Pansy. Harry gulped before nodding. He wanted to move, but his legs felt rooted to the spot. If he really thought about it, it looked like Pansy was  _flirting_  with Malfoy. There was something unsettling about that image. Harry decided there was something unsettling with Malfoy flirting with  _anyone_ , not just Pansy.

Ron gave Harry another shove and his legs began working again. As they walked down the aisle Harry gave a glance to Malfoy. They locked eyes for a second; Malfoy still had the blank stare that hinted nothing on his emotions. If Pansy was flirting with Malfoy, Harry decided, Malfoy was  _not_  flirting back.

On the walk to the Great Hall Ginny joined them in a giggly mood. She immediately took to Harry's side asking him how his class was. He muttered a simple. "Fine," because he honestly didn't have a clue what had just taken place in that class or what words were coming out of the professor's mouth.

"Mine are going well, too," she smiled at him, but he didn't bother to smile back. His stomach twisted and he didn't really have an appetite. They got to the Great Hall and as per usual they sat together, only Ginny seemed to be closer than normal. Every so often their arms would brush against each other leaving Harry slightly uncomfortable. He blamed the weird feeling on the fact that he was still trying to adjust to interacting with her only as a friend.

Harry glanced up to catch Malfoy's piercing eyes. He gave him a kind smile which he didn't return.

-~-

Draco stared at Ginny as she continued desperately flirting with Potter. He sighed and shook his head to himself. He ignored Potter's annoying smirk and tried to focus on his food.

He moved his mashed potatoes with his spoon but couldn't stomach himself to eat it. He felt Goyle nudge him.

"Are you sleeping in the Room of Requirement again tonight?" He asked.

"Probably," Draco muttered. He decided to take a piece of broccoli and bite into it, but he immediately spitted it out not enjoy its disgusting taste.

"You know if you keep staying there, you're just giving them a reason to beat you up when you pass out in the common room."

Draco swallowed at that. He hated that he was so weak and it was obvious now. But, it was easier to sleep in the Room of Requirement. He hadn't figured out what to think exactly to get the nice bed Potter had, but he did get a nice pull out couch in there. At this rate by Christmas time, he should have a nice array of blankets in there as well. He could just continue living there, he figured, besides coming back to change and take showers.

Goyle was right though. The more distance he put between himself and his own house the more they disliked him. They had their reasons, he supposed. But, he just wanted to get through the year relatively unscathed.

Just tables over, Draco knew if he looked over his shoulder he could see Ginny laughing, because he could hear her obnoxious laugh now. His stomach tightened and he dropped his fork deciding lunch would be a wash. Pansy gave him a cautions glance.

"Are you okay Draco? You've got to eat." She said touching his arm to give him comfort, but he shook it off.

"I'm fine," he grunted.

"She's right, you need to eat." Goyle added.

"I said I'm fine!" He suddenly shouted, pushing back and standing up.

They stared up at him with sad eyes. They weren't even affected by his anger, which only fueled him. Everything was piling on top and he had a strong urge to curse everyone in the room: that Weaslette, Stupid Potter, his two friends who had the audacity to care for him, even himself. Everyone deserved to be cursed. So he let out a huff and spun around on his heal.

The mark on his arm was burning, this hadn't happened in months—not since Voldemort had been alive. It was all in his imagination of course, it wasn't actually burning. But, the skin around it was red and it was prickling hard. So he went with his instinct and began itching it. He leaned against a wall in a corridor not far from the Great Hall. He didn't care at the moment if anyone saw him like this, his sleeve rolled up and his hair falling into his face, he just wanted the nasty mark gone. He continued to rub it, but that only made it stand out more against his pale skin.

He knew it was useless, he had tried everything already to make it go away. But, it was forever burned there, as a mark of his mistakes. He closed his eyes breathing heavily. A part of him wanted to try just cut it off, but he already knew that didn't work. Surprisingly the skin around it could heal easily, but the mark would never leave.

"Malfoy."

The voice woke him up almost like he'd been drenched in cold water. He quickly straightened up. He brushed back his hair and went to pull down his sleeve, but it was too late, it was obvious what he'd been up to. Potter glanced at the mark, staring longer than Draco wanted him to. He quickly shoved his sleeve down and buttoned it back to shield his past.

"What do you want?" He asked bitterly. Potter was still staring as his forearm where the mark would be if the sleeve was still up. "Potter?" This snapped him to look back into Draco's eyes.

"Sorry, I just saw you run out and wanted to see if you were okay."

"Well, I'm fine so you can go run back to the Weaslette now," as he spoke Draco continued tugging on his sleeve and avoided looking into Potter's eyes.

"Weaslette?" Potter asked with humor sparkling in his eyes. Draco didn't understand how he could dare to face him after he'd just seen the disgusting mark on his arm. Didn't that make him want to kill him? It'd make him want to kill him. "Oh! Ginny..." He trailed off biting his lip.

Draco took that was his cue to continue on his way so he began turning around, but Potter for some reason wanted to continue the conversation.

"We're not together, if you're wondering," he said suddenly.

"I wasn't..." Draco said still walking away, but truth was that made his stomach feel less tight.

Potter took a couple steps to join him.

"We broke up before the war, for obvious reasons. But, then I didn't really know how I felt about her so I avoided her. But, it's for real this time. We talked last week and agreed it was over." Potter felt inclined to explain for some reason.

"That's nice...but, I don't recall asking for the story," he grunted. Potter wasn't fazed by Draco's annoyance, in fact he just laughed.

"Well, I just figured. You were giving me a death glare back in the Great Hall I just thought—"

"That I was jealous?" Draco spitted out the words like they were broccoli in his mouth.

"That's not the word I was going to use, but sure yeah. You seemed jealous I guess."

"Well, I'm not!" He said harshly, "And you're one to talk. What about the look you gave me and Pansy in Potions? And that was multiple looks. Don't think I couldn't feel your eyes boring into me the whole class."

Potter was taken aback by that. "I wasn't jealous, I was disgusted."

Draco sighed seeing a dead end to this argument at the fact that it was bringing a stupid cycle he didn't want to go in.

Potter needed glasses to see though and couldn't spot the circle. "It's just hard to picture you flirting with anyone." He added.

Draco rolled his eyes. "Pansy and I weren't flirting. She enjoys these stupid Slytherin puns and so she tells me them all the time. I just let her do it, because I know it keeps her happy."

Much to Draco's own disappointment, Potter smiled at this.

"Really? Can I hear some? I do enjoy good puns."

Draco flushed at the thought of some of the ones Pansy told him.

"No." He stopped to turn an abrupt corner hoping to lose Potter, but he continued to trudge along.

"Alright, well then you leave me to make some up myself."

"Can't be any worse than the one's Pansy tells me," he grunted.

Potter really laughed at that, but Draco didn't understand why.

He suddenly ceased his walking and spun around to face him.

"I'm not okay with what we're doing, Potter."

He stared at him. Draco's hands were stuck to his sides and he was very tense at the idea of the conversation he'd just unknowingly started. 


	11. A Short Friendship

Chapter 11: A Short Friendship

Harry stared at Malfoy's furrowed eyebrows and sweat that was growing. Throughout the years, he'd seen Malfoy in several situations where he didn't seem like his normal cocky self and this was one of them. He seemed so lost and confused, granted Harry felt the same.

"Why are you talking to me? Why are you even looking at me? I mean even with the normal rude stares. I honestly wish we could just pretend we didn't know each other. You don't like me. I don't like you. Whatever we're doing doesn't make sense."

A silence fell between them and Harry finally just broke in a smile.

"You know, I think that's the most you've talked to me.  _Ever_."

Malfoy rolled his eyes, but kept his spot. He knew that he needed to address this or else they'd just keep doing what they were doing now and he didn't like this.

"This is serious. We need to put a stop to what we're doing. I'm trying to just make it through this year, but yet you seemed determined to keep me from making it through."

Harry studied him and decided it was best not to keep joking. "I do like you Draco. I mean...I think I can like you. Things were different before the war. I'd like to be able to start over and be friends with you."

"I haven't changed," Malfoy muttered shaking his head as if he thought Harry was stupid.

"Trust me, I am well aware of the annoying git you still are."

Malfoy cracked a smile at that.

"But, I would like to be your friend," Harry added.

The silence came back and Malfoy stared at Harry trying to figure out what Harry's game was. "I'm an ex-Death Eater."

"What's in the past is in the past. Besides you didn't have a choice," he brushed it off, "I forgave you a long time ago. You saved my life, so did your mother. I think we can move on from that."

"I'm a Slytherin," Draco was now pulling at strings trying to convince Potter they shouldn't be friends.

"House unity is all the rage. McGonagall will be proud. Hermione will be ecstatic."

Potter seemed to have a solution to everything. Draco sighed giving up.

"It would be nice to have someone to talk to..." He mumbled. Potter grinned at this.

"Friends?" He asked holding his hand out.

Draco stared at it. He had half a mind to deny it again. But, he was curious how his hand would feel in his. This handshake had haunted him since he was eleven.

"Friends," Draco said taking Potter's hand into his and giving it a good shake.

They quickly let go of each other and Potter was grinning ear to ear. Draco shook his head at him trying to pretend that handshake didn't mean anything to him.

"Can we start calling each other by our first names? It seems quite silly continuing the last name thing," Potter suggested.

Draco looked at him. "Harry sounds weird coming out of my mouth though."

Potter bit his lip before saying, "I think I prefer it though honestly, Draco."

Something about the way Potter said Draco's first name made his heart beat rapidly unlike the flinch that came from always hearing Malfoy. His first name caused his face to flush; it felt too intimate for Potter to say.

"We can stick to last names," Draco spitted out. But, Potter just laughed.

"Nah, I feel good about calling you Draco."

His heart thudded against his chest again. He'd have to get used to that quickly. He didn't particularly want Potter noticing how his name affected him, or else he might try to use it against him.

Harry ended up bidding Malfoy goodbye after their newfound friendship, because Malfoy was to get to Transfiguration. Harry had an off period so he decided to pay a visit to the common room.

It was unusually abandoned. He figured Hermione and Ron had gone to the library, but he didn't really feel like making the walk and decided to take the couch by the fireplace and rest his eyes. The heat from the fire eased him to sleep and for the first time in a while, there wasn't a nightmare.

He didn't get to nap for long, because Ginny appeared besides him holding a pink box.

"Hey, Harry," she said taking a seat next to him. He straightened up and smiled at her. "I've just baked some treacle tart, would you like some?"

Harry couldn't deny himself to the sweet, especially as the smell wafted to his nose.

"Y'know Ginny," he mumbled through a bite, "You gave this to me at the start of our relationship. I think that was a key factor in me liking you." He chuckled and Ginny blushed.

"Yes, mum helped teach me to make it. I know you're quite fond of the sweet."

Eating the treat reminded Harry why he liked Ginny in the first place. Not only was she a lovely cook but she was quite beautiful.

He took another bit quickly devouring the sweet.

Harry spent the rest of the day thinking about Ginny and trying to understand if maybe ending the relationship was a mistake. He hadn't felt anything when they kissed, that was for sure, but maybe they hadn't been doing it right...Maybe he wasn't in the right state...Maybe if they tried again. And suddenly, Harry wanted to kiss Ginny just to see if her lips tasted as good as the sweet treacle tart.

Harry waited until after dinner to confront her. The common room was crowded, as it always was before bedtime, so he had to get the courage to ask Ginny to come with him. Hermione and Ron eyed him suspiciously, but Ginny just gave a small smile and took his hand. He led her back to the same corner they'd been at just the other week.

"Gin," he spoke softly worried he might frighten her and she wouldn't agree to the proposition.

"Yes, Harry," she mimicked his voice and he swallowed.

Her pale pink lips did seem quite kissable now. The distance between them began shrinking and he placed a soft hand on her cheek. She sighed falling into it as he rubbed a thumb over the lips. Her lips parted and Harry had a very strong urge now to lean it, but he stared into her brown eyes second guessing himself. All she had to do was give him a gentle shove and he'd stop, but she was beckoning him forward so he leaned further.

Their lips touched gently, a part of Harry wanted to pull back, but there was a hint of the treacle treat on her tongue that made him want to stay rooted against her forever. Ginny placed a hand in his hair pulling him closer and they easily melted together.

They pulled back panting and Ginny's eyebrows furrowed together.

"What are you doing Harry?"

"Kissing you," he said matter-of-factly.

"Yes, but why?"

"Let's try again. I feel something this time. Honest, I do. So let's try again," Harry was grinning. It felt like everything was lining into place like it was before the war. He had hope finally. He could see clearly again. He was meant to be with Ginny, he just knew it. It felt  _right_.

"I don't want to  _try_. I want to actually do it. The real thing. Get married...have kids..."

"We  _are_  kids."

"You know what I mean, Harry. I just want to make sure this is the real thing, you're not just messing with me again."

Harry gave her a kind smile brushing back the piece of hair that always fell in front of her beautiful eyes.

"I want to do the real thing," he murmured.

She smiled leaning in and giving him a gentle kiss.

"Okay, boyfriend, then."

The next morning, Harry and Ginny were shamelessly in the honeymoon stage of their relationship. Ginny picked up a piece of bacon and went to feed it to Harry.

"I thought you hated bacon?" Hermione said as she watched their charade play out.

"I don't  _hate_  bacon," Harry shrugged while chewing the piece Ginny had placed into his mouth, "It's just not my favorite is all."

Hermione studied him curiously, he had only seen him eat bacon twice and once it was because he was absolutely starving and the other at the Weasley's because he was being polite.

Ginny continued to feed him food and Harry laughed at nothing. She smiled back her cheeks tinting red.

Draco watched the scene unfold with clenched fists. He wasn't angry at Potter for getting with Ginny, not even as they shared a kiss. He was pissed off that Potter had lied about it. His stomach tightened and he struggled to breathe.

He kept staring at them even though it burned his eyes to do so. He just couldn't understand why Potter had betrayed his trust; there was no reason to lie about this.

He sighed before pushing down on the table to stand up.

Pansy looked up at him about to tell him to stay and eat, but decided it was a losing battle—he never listened anyways.

As Draco walked out of the Great Hall he glanced back over at the Gryffindor table, Potter was laughing now. His heart took a great lurch forward and Draco took off in a sprint leaving the scene far behind him.

He clambered up the West Tower, far from any sound of Potter's laughter. He held against the railing and closed his eyes feeling the bitter wind as it hit his face. It woke him up and made it easier for him to sort through his thoughts.

He came to the conclusion that he was not Potter's friend and that it had been a lie, a ploy in some game of his. What thrill Potter got out of crushing Draco's trust, he did not know, but he was sure he had a good reason.

His knuckles turned white and he was letting out shaky breaths now. His mark burned on his arm. And he closed his eyes tighter. He could feel  _him_ breathing down his back now.

"You know what you must do, Malfoy," he snarled.

"Yes, Dark Lord."

"You must kill him."

"Yes, Dark Lord," he had to keep his voice steady even though his whole composure was crashing.

"If you fail, I will kill your parents and make you watch and then I will kill you. Do you understand?"

"Y-yes."

"Yes, Dark Lord!" He growled and lifted his hand and before Draco could even prepare himself the Cruciatus curse flew through him.

Draco opened his eyes and stared out. He wasn't alive, but yet He could still plague his mind. Draco had failed that task. And he did pay a price when he returned, one that at times felt worse than death. 


	12. Strange Actions

Chapter 12: Strange Actions

"Draco!"

He kept walking ignoring the boy as he followed him.

"Draco!" Potter tried again, but still Draco refused to acknowledge him.

"Malfoy!"

Draco pushed forward. It was best not to acknowledge those below you, that was what his father had taught him.

Suddenly, he was given a gentle shove and forcefully spun around.

"Fuck off," he growled shrugging the hand off his shoulder.

Draco had successfully avoided Potter for the past week and a half, but he'd followed him out of Potions and he couldn't as easily escape from that (even with sprinting out as soon as Slughorn dismissed them).

"Why are you ignoring me?" There was a hint of sadness in Potter's voice; Draco decided it was because his plan of becoming friends with him then breaking him was failing.

"Why are you with that weasel?" He questioned.

"What do you mean?" Potter's eyebrows furrowed together and Draco rolled his eyes.

"You said you were over her."

At this Potter's whole composure changed. He realized they were talking about Ginny and it was as if a lightbulb had gone off in his brain. He let out a laugh that was part giggle and part chuckle, it caused something to twist in Draco's stomach.

"Oh yes, well, I was being silly. Wasn't I?" Draco went to answer his rhetorical question with a 'no', but he continued talking before he could, "How could I be over her? She's so pretty...And beautiful...And her hair flows like a mermaid—"

"Mermen are ugly."

"Like a veela then. She's a goddess." He sighed and Draco's temper only grew.

" _Merlin_. What has gotten into you? Ugh. Just leave me alone, Potter." He wanted to stomp away, but something kept him rooted in the spot.

"Harry."

"That's an odd compliment for Ginny—her being hairy—but I suppose we are all into different things."

"No, we're doing first names now, Draco."

Draco sighed and muttered, "Whatever."

Instead of starting an argument Potter jumped back into his previous rambling. "But, have you ever looked at Ginny? Like really looked at her, she's so pretty.... I don't understand why I had spaced it before. I think she just might be the one."

A sound that resembled choking on food came out of Draco's mouth. "You're disgusting Pot—" Harry gave him a look "Harry."

"No, really. Honestly. I think I'm going to marry her," he sighed and Draco gave him a pointed glance.

"That's nice, but I don't really care," he spun around hoping to leave Potter behind, but he kept talking.

"Will you help me ask though? It's got to be something extraordinary. She deserves the best after all we've been through. With Fred and the war in general and me breaking up with her..." Potter suddenly let out a strangled gasp. "What if she doesn't want to marry me?"

"Why wouldn't she?" Draco hadn't meant it to fall out of his mouth, especially the way it sounded. It sounded like Draco didn't see anything wrong with marrying Potter, but in fact Draco could think of a billion reasons why  _he_  wouldn't want to marry him. For starters he was  _Harry Potter_. Fortunately for Draco, Potter was so oblivious he didn't even notice.

"Everything that's happened...But she did say she wanted the real deal...She's probably expecting this..." By now Draco had realized he was really just talking to himself so he bit his tongue and allowed the Great Harry Potter to ramble to himself as they walked to the Great Hall.

Harry had come to the conclusion that he'd propose to Ginny next week. He'd keep it simple; ask her to follow him down the corridor to the corner that had become their corner. He'd get on one knee and take her small hand in his and promise her that a ring was to come, but right now the promise of forever was more important than a ring. Draco was physically tense as Harry explained this. Harry was about to ask him if he would be offended, if he didn't have a ring, but he caught Ginny's eye and was consumed in a different world.

Malfoy watched Harry greet Ginny with a gentle kiss on the lips with narrowed eyes. He let out a huff and went to his table settling between Pansy and Goyle as he always did.

For the first time in a while Harry felt weightless. He felt like maybe his life was finally starting. All the good things he missed out on because he was battling death were coming and he was grateful for Ginny because she showed him this.

As Harry conversed with Ginny, he hardly noticed Luna joining their table with a smile.

"Hello," Hermione greeted her. She seemed content with just watching Harry and Ginny though.

"Don't you think it's strange?" She asked softly.

Hermione furrowed her eyebrows and felt Ron place a hand on hers rubbing it gently. "What is?'

"Harry," she nodded her head to him as he let out a loud chuckle after Ginny had said a joke about Quidditch players.

"He's acting no stranger than he usually does when Ginny and he are dating," Ron shrugged.

Hermione was the only one taking to the idea. "That is strange though. Don't you think? Him acting differently when he's with her?"

"It's no different than when any other couple first gets together," Ron said while reaching for a roll. Hermione sighed before giving a small nod.

There was something about the concept that stayed with Hermione long after lunch though.


	13. The Truth

Chapter 13: The Truth

Draco watched from afar Potter's and the Weaselette's relationship. He noticed a huge jump in Potter's appearance. It was astonishing he actually looked like he was getting some rest now. He was bitter about that; he still couldn't close his eyes without the constant nightmares. He had stopped disappearing to the Room of Requirement though, the couch was hurting his back and Goyle had convinced him that the more distance he put between his house and himself the more the others hated him.

He stopped wandering the corridors as well, this began as a fear of running into Potter (though that was an irrational fear as clearly he was sleeping now), but it continued when he was becoming sick of the silence out there. The deep breathing inside the room of his other fellow Slytherins stopped the nightmares involving him being alone at least.

Pansy was the first to finally confront Draco about his nightmares after Goyle had muttered something about him talking in his sleep.

She told him that he needed to get a potion from Pomfrey to help him sleep, but he quickly denied any thoughts of that. She then briefly mumbled something about getting wasted, because it had worked in the past for her.

"Get drunk? Are you mad?" Draco asked, but a part of him seemed to enjoy this idea. Not only had the lack of sleep been getting to him, but also the constant seeing Potter with his girlfriend had been putting him on edge as well

"Well, I didn't really mean it as a suggestion. But, it did help me."

Draco stared at her; he hadn't noticed her having any sleeping problems. He also didn't expect her to be offering this as a solution.

"Well where am I supposed to get any? The kitchen elves won't just give me anything, they hardly let me swipe bread from the kitchens."

Pansy suddenly grew quiet and leaned into Draco. She cuffed her mouth with her hand before whispering, "Blaise always has a good stock. He'll hook you up."

She pulled back with a smirk.

-~-

"I'm going to propose to Ginny," Harry told Ron in the common room late the next day after everyone had already gone to bed. They were completely alone basking in only the light of the fire. Ron's eyebrows furrowed together.

"You didn't want to ask first?" He said bitterly. Harry was slightly taken aback.

"Well I didn't...I didn't think it mattered much. Besides that's not the point. It's Ginny! She's so wonderful," he sighed but Ron's heart was thumping and his ears were red.

"Well I would think you'd ask permission at the very least before making this decision."

"It's not like it's a shock! It's to be expected. It's like you telling me you're going to propose to Hermione. Of course you're going to propose to Hermione, you guys are meant for each other! Now will you help me or not?" Harry's glasses reflected the flames of the fire and Ron couldn't find his eyes to comfort him on the idea that maybe his best mate wasn't behaving strangely.

"Does she make you happy?"

"Of course!" Harry seemed applauded at the thought of anything otherwise.

"And you make her happy?"

"Yes, Ron."

He looked away debating.

"Okay, I'll help you. What do you need me to do?"

And so they spent the rest of the night planning a proposal, but there was something in the back of Ron's mind gnawing at him.

The next morning Ron approached Hermione before Harry was awake. It was a common occurrence for Harry to walk into breakfast late nowadays, usually with Ginny's hand.

"I think Luna is right," he muttered to Hermione. She raised an eyebrow at him. "Harry's thinking about proposing!"

She grinned at the thought, "Really? That's so sweet."

"No!" He grumbled, "Not sweet. Disgusting. Bloody hell. Has everyone gone mad?"

Hermione laughed at that while rubbing his arm to comfort him.

"What's wrong with Ginny and Harry getting married?"

"Nothing is wrong with it...It's just not...Harry. Something strange is going on. Just two weeks ago he couldn't sleep and Ginny was the furtherest thing away from his mind and now he wants to marry her!"

Hermione allowed Ron to continue his rant as if she needed convincing, when in reality she had spent all night as well wondering about Luna's comment. When he finally huffed to a finish she spoke.

"I was actually thinking the same thing and I was doing some research. I think we might want to talk to Professor Slughorn."

Ron gave her a curious glance, but decided to follow her. Ginny and Harry ate breakfast alone that morning, but it wasn't as if they really noticed.

-~-

Draco didn't at first take to the idea of getting drunk or asking Blaise for some alcohol. However, after Pansy insisted that it would be helpful he found himself in a room with some of his alcohol and Pansy. Pansy was also persist that they have to drink together in order to make sure they didn't get carried away. In the beginning Draco was only doing this to satisfy Pansy.

As he took the first glass he welcomed the burn as it moved down his throat. It took a while for the drink to have its full affect. Pansy was right it did dull the pain in his chest.

They spent the night mumbling incoherent thoughts.

"So...tell me about Potter," Pansy spoke softly. Draco rolled his eyes at this.

"Nothing's to say."

"That's a first!" She snorted. "Ever since first year you've had  _something_  to rant over him. At first I thought you had a crush on him." She took a swig of the bottle while Draco gaped at her.

"I did  _not_  have a crush on him. He was my enemy."

Just the idea caused something to swell in his chest, it was like a red hot iron was being pressed against his heart and he had a strong urge to puke.

" _Was_  your enemy? Hmm." She licked her lips in thought. Draco was greatly flustered now.

"Well. I mean. Voldemort isn't here anymore, is he? And before it was just a stupid handshake. And. Just because he's not my enemy doesn't mean I like him or anything. It just means we're neutral." His cheeks became heated and Pansy didn't miss a beat as she leaned forward and poked his cheeks.

"Maybe I was wrong. Maybe you do have a crush on him. You try very hard to get his attention..."

Draco's eyes widened and his heart beated rapidly in his chest at the ridiculous idea.

"No, no, no, no. I do  _not_  like him. Especially not like that. Not to mention I'm straight, he's straight! Merlin, he's dating Ginny, about to be engaged to Ginny!" He stumbled on his words trying to get his point across.

Pansy just erupted in laughter. "It was a joke Draco," she said cackling.

Draco glared at her not finding the circumstance funny one bit.

"Oh cheer up," she said passing him another glass. "To Ginny and Harry's engagement!" She grinned. "And to Draco being completely and utterly straight!"

He held his glass up, but cocked his head at her. "What does that mean?"

She looked him with wide eyes.

"Seriously? You weren't joking at that part?"

His eyebrows furrowed together. "I'm straight, Pansy. What are you talking about?"

She stared at him, seizing him up. "You've never even dated a girl," she said, "I just assumed..."

"Well I never dated a man either!" Draco grumbled quickly downing his drank.

"I was never saying you were gay. I just thought maybe you were asexual..." Her face was heating up now and Draco was too confused to bother wondering why she would be thinking about his sexuality.

"What do you mean?"

"You just seemed to never really be attracted to anyone...I just thought...Well I figured you weren't capable."

Draco was suddenly becoming very uncomfortable. His whole face was burning now. This was a conversation he always avoiding having with himself let alone with someone else, even if it was Pansy who he considered his sister.

"I am very much capable. Now I think it'd best if we change this conversation, thank you." He took another drink, but Pansy just sat staring at him. 


	14. Attached Love

Chapter 14: Attached Love

"Are you sure this will work?"

"Positive," Hermione responded holding the glass of potent.

They approached Harry and Hermione let out a sigh grateful he was alone and didn't have Ginny clinging to his side like she always was now. They'd have to confront her later; Harry was the main priority at the moment.

"Hello, Harry," Hermione said gently settling into the couch next to him.

"Hey, Hermione, Ron," he grinned up at them. "What's that?" He asked gesturing to the glass in Hermione's hand.

"We brought you something. Professor Slughorn made it. He says it's the best drink in the world. It has a flavor much like butterbeer," Hermione easily lied.

"Sounds great!"

"Would you like some Harry?" Hermione held it out for him to take but he shook his head.

Hermione bit her lip. "Please I insist."

Harry glanced from her to Ron curious, but decided he might as well try it. Ron gulped as Harry took the glass to his lips. He took a great sip before letting out a loud cough and leaning forward.

"Merlin! What did you say that was?" He gagged, but Hermione insisted that he finish it.

"Please," she begged and so Harry took another sip chugging what was left. It was the unpleasant taste of rotten eggs mixed with grass.

He coughed up again once he had finally finished it.

"How do you feel Harry?" Hermione asked attentively.

His head was pounding and his body felt like slush.

"Horrid. Is this supposed to make me feel better?" He rubbed his tongue in his mouth hoping to get rid of the nasty taste.

Hermione nodded to Ron to speak. "Well. Uh. How do you feel about Ginny?"

Harry's eyebrows furrowed together and he shrugged. "Okay... What do you mean?"

Ron ran a hand through his hair as he realized what this meant. He was both grateful and upset that Hermione had been right.

"Well...are you ready to propose?" Hermione continued to interrogate him.

"Propose? Oh merlin no. That's a rubbish idea. We're way too young."

Hermione and Ron shared another look and Harry felt like he was being left out of something very important.

"Can someone tell me what's going on?"

Hermione sighed and gave Harry a weak smile that was meant to comfort him. "Well Harry...it seems Ginny—"

"We don't know it was Ginny." Ron interrupted.

"It seems  _someone_ ," Hermione corrected, "Put you under a love potion. It's highly likely it  _was_  Ginny though, Ronald."

Ron rolled his eyes, "My little sister wouldn't do that though!"

Harry's mind twisted as he thought about what exactly that meant.

"So you're saying...the feelings I've been having..."

Hermione turned to face her friend. "They were just planted into you," she said softly.

"Bloody hell." His head was pounding now. It felt like it was going to explode. He was about to give Ginny his entire future. "Where is she? I want to talk to her." Harry started to get up, but the world tilted. Hermione quickly pushed him back into the soft cushioning of the couch.

"I'm sorry, but I think it's best if you just get some rest right now."

"Hey, guys," the voice made all three of them turn their heads.

"Hi Harry," Ginny said trying to slide in. However, Ron stepped forward muttering something that caused her eyes to widen and her to glance at the empty glass on the floor.

"Ginny, did you..." Harry didn't know how to ask it while still feigning politeness.

Suddenly, her eyes began to water and she choked on her words. "Oh no. Oh Harry. I'm so sorry," her voice wavered and in truthfulness Harry believed her words to be sincere.

"I-I panicked. I'm sorry. I'm so in love with you, but you hardly glanced at me. And I just wanted to speed the process along." She hiccupped a sob.

Harry's stomached tightened. "Was...was it ever real? When did you give me the potion?"

She gulped before pushing past Hermione and settling next to him, her long red hair falling over her shoulders. "Year sixth. Right before I got with Dean. It didn't seem to have an affect on you so I figured it didn't work. I didn't give you a lot; it was barely a drop, so I just thought it didn't work. And so when you finally did approach me I just thought you had finally came around." Silent tears fell down her face; she didn't bother to wipe them away. She took a deep breath before continuing, "Then we broke up. Then we  _truly_  broke up and I thought perhaps if I tried again, with just a little more you'd come back to me. So I added some to the treacle tarts. I just thought maybe you needed a bit of persuading, I didn't think that it was going to cause you to  _love_  me, but rather enhance the feelings you already had for me."

She looked away her face heating up in shame.

"But...Ginny...I'm beginning to think I never had feelings for you. I was just comforted by the thought of you and you were always there for me, of course I'd feel attached to you." Harry reached a hand up brushing through his hair.

He squeezed his eyes shut trying to think, but finding the easy task inexplicably hard.

"I'm sorry, Harry," she whispered her voice cracking.

Harry didn't respond.

-~-

Draco spent the next few nights drinking with Pansy. It was helping him sleep and as long as they remembered the spell to cure hangovers, the next day would go over swell and no one had to know about their secret hangouts.

One particular late night Pansy was laughing over some snarky Slytherin pun.

"You get it, don't you? Slither in, it's pronounced like Slytherin." She cackled.

Draco gave a small smile at his friend before taking a drink from the bottle welcoming the burn. "Yes, Pans. I get it. You've told me that...like a billion times..." He had to pause to make sure his words came out properly.

Pansy turned to stare at him. "You're cute when you smile, you should do it more often." His cheeks heated up and his face went immediately back to his hard composure.

She didn't comment on that, but rather leaned in to inspect him further.

"Draco," she whispered. Their faces were only inches away and Draco's heart pounded in his chest. He was frozen, but he wanted nothing more than to move and put the distance back between them. The whole thing felt odd and bizarre to him. And just as he regained feeling in his muscles and turned his face, Pansy leaned in for a kiss. Her lips grazed his sharp cheek bone.

He pulled back with wide eyes as Pansy did the same. They both jumped up as if they had just been drenched in ice cold water.

"I'm really sorry," she hiccupped. "I-I didn't mean to. I'm sorry. I just wanted to see. You said you were straight and—"

Draco shot her a glare. "Whatever," he muttered before picking up a bottle and spinning on his heal.

"Draco wait! You know you can't go out, it's after hours, you'll get caught!"

"I'll be fine," he grunted stumbling a bit as he walked.

Draco wandered up to the tower to enjoy the fresh air. The corridors were quiet and he suspected that the prefects weren't really doing their nightly duties. Not to mention, throughout the year Draco had became quite good at hiding.

He closed his eyes trying to clear his thoughts. He knew he and Pansy would make sense, she was the only girl showing any interest in him in the moment, but he didn't feel anything with her. In fact he'd never felt anything for any girl.

He thought back to what Pansy had said all those days ago. He tried not to think about that conversation, because it caused his stomach to drop and made him want to puke. Perhaps, Pansy was right though...he was incapable of sexual feelings. It seemed to make perfectly good sense to Draco. He'd never felt lust before. And he certainly never had a crush. He'd never felt love, not true love, of course he wouldn't be able to reciprocate it. His parents said they loved him, but it felt more of a responsibility than an emotion. They loved him, because they  _had_  to love him. And he loved them, because he  _had_  to.

His arm was beginning to hurt, just as it always did whenever he thought about his past. He swallowed and took another drink from the bottle.

That night was a long night for Draco Malfoy.


	15. Confused Feelings

Chapter 15: Confused Feelings

"Draco looks like hell, don't you think?" Harry nodded his head to the boy during breakfast.

"He always looks like hell," Ron commented while Hermione gave him a concerned glance.

"Have you seen yourself lately, Harry? You don't look any better."

Harry shifted in his seat and took a small bite of eggs.

"At least you don't look like a ferret," Ron pointed out and Harry gave a small chuckle, but his mind was leaving the conversation.

Hermione had reminded him about the truth.

He wasn't sure anymore what feelings were  _his_ , and the other ones faked to be his. He knew he didn't truly ever love Ginny, but...maybe he did? He couldn't sort through the emotions. After all that had happened in his life, this one shook him to the core. He didn't know what to believe anymore. His heart told him to run to Ginny, but his mind said no.

"Are you sure the potent got rid of  _all_  the love potion in my system?" Harry whispered to Hermione across the table.

"Yes, why?"

He shook his head mumbling, "It's nothing."

His stomach churned as he pictured the red head who was only a few seats away chatting to Luna.

Harry knew he should hate her, but he couldn't bring himself to. After everything that had happened, they both deserved a taste of love—even if it had been fake. For some reason Harry knew that if he was ever in love, he'd act just the same amount of insane. Love was the most powerful form of magic; he had learned that by now.

He sighed before shoveling food into his mouth trying to preoccupy his mind.

A week had passed and Harry was no where nearer to understanding his mind. Christmas break was approaching fast and he knew that the silence in the common room was going to be deafening and having no schoolwork would leave his mind free to roam to the dark side.

His thoughts ran in circles, he'd look at someone and try to understand why he couldn't feel anything. He'd compare the dark haired girl in Ravenclaw to the way he had felt with Ginny and there was no connection whatsoever. He thought back to his brief relationship with Cho, but even then there wasn't the spark he'd been wanting. The only time he'd felt that was when he was on a love potion.

One night Harry couldn't stand lying in his bed staring at the ceiling any longer. He draped his invisibility cloak over his shoulders and began to wander the halls.

Meanwhile Draco Malfoy was dragging his stiff legs up the steps and to the tower with a bottle in hand. He had ditched Pansy as a drinking partner after the whole kiss incident (he had been worried she might try again, or worse she'd realize the reason he didn't want to kiss her was because he didn't feel attraction to anyone not just her—he hated admitting to people that they were right).

Draco and Harry hadn't spoken in weeks. Despite their rekindled friendship, they both had separated after Ginny had gotten Harry entangled in her web. Somehow they both had other things hanging over their heads and so the friendship was pushed away, all for the best Draco had thought. Draco didn't really want to be invited to a Harry and Ginny wedding, or expected to show up especially now that he'd realized that love was a façade and anyone 'in it' were just fooling themselves.

He dropped the bottle gently to the ground and leaned against the railing. He pictured himself pushing too far and tumbling over, an uneasy feeling filled his system as a memory washed through him and he instantly pulled away from the railing. He could never truly get away from his regrets.

"Draco," the voice made him roll his eyes.

One of his regrets enjoyed visiting him much too often.

"Harry," he didn't bother to turn around to face the raven haired boy.

Silence fell between them and if Draco kept his eyes away from Potter, it was almost as if he was still alone. His thoughts were still running in circles and he had the urge to drag a knife against his arm and try carving the mark off once again.

Draco heard some shuffling and watched just Potter's hand reach out and grasp the bottle. Slowly, the rest of his body appeared as the silvery fabric flittered to the floor.

"Mind if I have some?" Potter asked gesturing to the bottle in his hand.

Draco didn't respond as Potter just brought it to his mouth and took a gulp.

"Ginny and I broke up again." He grunted while moving to the railing. He clutched it tightly just as Draco had done moments before. Draco wondered if Potter was picturing the same thing he had just been.

"Wedding cancelled?" Draco said coolly before snatching the bottle back and drinking enough so there was only half left; he didn't like the fact that Potter was taking away his only solution to his problems.

"Ginny..." Potter paused pulling back to look at Draco, "Ginny had a love potion on me...Did you know?"

Draco stared at him, his eyebrows furrowed tightly together. "I'm surprised it wasn't the opposite. Who could love you enough to put you under a potion?" He laughed, but the emotion didn't reach his eyes. Harry only sighed.

"Only she could I guess...but I can't love her that way back."

Draco bit the inside of his cheek. It was odd, having the Great Harry Potter in front of him in need of comfort. He wasn't good at comforting people; he had his own demons he was trying to battle.

"Everything...between me and her...It's been just...fake." Draco was now aware that Potter's back was moving up and down rather quickly and his breathing was ragged.

"I...I don't know who I am." Suddenly, Potter spun around facing Draco. His fears were confirmed when he saw the tears in Potter's eyes, deep sobs were racking his body.

"I'm alone. Inside my mind, there's these voices screaming, but I don't understand them. I never bothered to think and now that's all I can do. And I don't know who I am. Who am I without Voldemort?"

Draco stayed still deciding it best to let Potter talk himself out of the fit he was having.

"I killed Voldemort thinking that would set everything straight. But, nothing is straight anymore. That was the one thing I always knew about my life. I didn't need to bother with love. And now...now for some reason that's what I want. But, I don't understand how. I don't know who I am anymore." The tears were thankfully gone now and instead Potter was pulling on his hair inflicting pain on himself.

"Do you know how that feels Draco? Do you know?"

Draco's eyes widened as the conversation was directed to him. The truth laid on the tip of his tongue, but he opened his mouth and decided to keep it to himself. "No."

"Of course not. It's just a 'Harry' thing, right?" He scoffed stepping towards Draco.

"Fuck off, Potter."

" _Harry_ ," he corrected taking a step closer.

" _Potter_."

" _Harry_."

" _POTTER_."

Draco's heart was pounding now and his ears were on fire as Potter stepped closer and he stepped further back. Potter was clutching his wand and Draco's was inside his robes, it wouldn't take long for him to get it out, but by the time he'd get it Potter would have already sent a curse his way.

"Draco, you've never been in a situation where you did everything you had to and now that's stripped away from you and you don't know who you are?" He raised an eyebrow and Draco found himself trapped against the wall.

"I told you, Potter, I picked my path. And am now living with the consequences. I know exactly who I am. I am Draco Malfoy, son of Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy, ex-Death Eater."

"That's not who you are Draco!"

Draco's heart was climbing up his throat now and fire was in his veins. "You don't know me, Harry! Stop acting like you do!" He suddenly shoved Potter back with all his force, the bottle fell with a shatter, and Potter stumbled on easily into the railing. For one haunting moment Draco was sure he was going to tumble over, but he steadied himself.

Draco pulled his wand out and shouted, "Expelliarmus!" making Harry's wand shoot out and landing in the corner before spinning around and sprinting down the steps away from the tower. 

Something had happened when Malfoy reached out and touched Harry's chest. There was something deep in his stomach that twisted, but in a pleasant matter. And there was something itching to crawl out of his throat that he didn't dare leave his mouth.

Harry straightened himself up, feeling the cold air on his face. It was as if Malfoy's hands had left a mark on his chest. Every time he breathed it felt heavy. Harry allowed a large amount of time to pass before he finally gathered the strength to pick up the invisibility cloak and his wand, and hurry back to the Gryffindor tower. On his way down he flicked his wrist to clean up the mess that had been made by the broken bottle, if only he could do the same to his chest.


	16. Your Heart Knows Best

Chapter 16: Your Heart Knows Best

Harry spent the rest of the night trying to sort his feelings. There was something about the way Malfoy had placed his hands against his chest that lingered in the back of his mind. The next morning he was still contemplating his feelings. He began looking at the Hufflepuff boy with jet black hair or the brunette in Ravenclaw. And there was the key to problems.

But, he wasn't so sure he liked the idea that he had found the key.

The moment he had realized the truth he found himself very afraid. How was he supposed to act? How would this change everything? He swallowed, but found even that task hard. Fortunately, everyone figured he was still recovering from Ginny. So when he only pushed his hash browns around with his fork instead of eating, no one said anything—not even Hermione as she gave him a weak smile.

He was able to deal with this revelation himself.

He thought about Dean and Seamus, how had they been outed? It hadn't come as a shock to most; they'd been apparently caught kissing several times. But, Harry hadn't had a clue when they walked into the common room holding hands. Even with that scene Harry had to have them come up and spell it out. Granted, he didn't mind. Love was love. He knew no one else minded either, but the worry was still there.

He was still Harry Potter and the Prophet would be ecstatic to have a new front page headline. He swallowed at the thought.

But, there was a part of him that he was repressing that was trying to crawl his way to the surface.

It took a week before anyone approached Harry about his mood.

Ron placed a hand on his shoulder. "You okay, mate?" He asked. It was a Tuesday, they were walking outside just after Transfiguration class, but Harry didn't really feel like he was on Earth anymore. Harry's eyes widened, the question sounded an awful lot like: "You gay, mate?"

Harry sputtered out a "what?" before being able to truly respond. After Ron repeated his question Harry gave a curt nod, but his best mate wouldn't buy it.

"I know you're not sleeping and I know you're not paying any attention in class, not that you really need to, but still."

Hermione added a comment about the need for studying because of the NEWTs in their future would dictate the rest of their lives.

"I'm okay," Harry grunted. This answer had been suiting them just fine, but a week had been too long.

"No you're not. I know you, Harry. And you're not fine."

Harry had this overwhelming thought that they did not know him as well as they thought they did. He realized that if he didn't give them a reason, they wouldn't let it go.

"Okay...fine...it's just..." He swallowed, he really didn't want to pretend like he was still dwelling on this or lie to his friends, but it was needed. "Ginny. I'm still a bit shakened up is all."

Ron gave Harry a pat on the back and chuckled.

"Don't worry, Harry. You'll find a girl to rebound with in no time!"

But, Harry felt something clench in his stomach as his mind corrected Ron's statement from girl to boy.

-~-

Draco's state was slowly falling apart. Piece by piece he was losing himself and not even drinking could help him. Multiple times now, he'd passed out in the West Tower only to be waken by a nightmare that left him drenched in sweat or by Pansy's cold hands. He tried to minimize his drinking to keep this from happening, but it seemed less about drinking and more about sleep deprivation.

Every moment of his life was haunting him down to the most recent paralyzing idea: he didn't know who he was anymore.

He had hated what Potter had said, because he was correct. His parents had decided his entire life, but now he didn't have a future planned for him. He had to make his own choices and he was terrified of that.

It was late Wednesday night in the West Tower when he had decided that not even a bottle of firewhiskey could null the ache of his past.

He sat crisscross on the floor and leaned his head back against the wall squeezing his eyes shut. He rolled his right sleeve up; the Dark Mark seemed to almost shine in the night. The bright red scratch marks stood out in deep contrast to his pale skin. His knife was laying on his left, but the mark didn't seem to be burning as much as it had when he made his way up. The cold air numbed it.

Draco swallowed before giving a chaotic laugh at the realization of what he was going to try to do, for the second time. Last time it landed him in the hospital with bandages wrapped around his forearm and a stern talk with his mother. When the bandages were removed even his scratch marks were gone, his skin looked brand new, no signs that he didn't want it there anymore—the exact opposite of what he wanted. And now he was going to try again?

If he squeezed his eyes hard enough he could feel the pain that coursed through his body as he cut through that one night, he could feel his sharp intake of breath, and smell the copper as the blood poured out.

He bit the inside of his cheek; he was being an absolute wanker thinking about attempting that again. He let go of the breath he had been holding and unfolded his sleeve to hide the mark from view. He took a large gulp of his bottle, but knew it wasn't going to help. He picked up the knife feeling the sharp edge with his pointer finger.

As he held the knife the idea of cutting into his skin didn't seem quite as bizarre anymore...

In a rash decision he pushed his sleeve back up and gasped when the knife made contact. He pushed in harder than attended and had to pause from venturing further to control his breathing as he watched the blood already seep into his white shirt. The pain was nothing compared to the torture he'd experienced, so he told himself it was worth it if he could remove the mark.

He had failed last time because he hadn't completely cut the skin...this time if he just tried harder...

His eyes began to water as the pain filled his body and he had to grit his teeth to stay focus on the task.

_Draco Malfoy the Ex-Death Eater_. The words circled in his mind.

_Draco Malfoy the Boy Who Couldn't Even Pick A Side and Stay On It._

With every thought he made another cut, each more powerful then the next.

And just as he thought he might actually be making progress and that maybe it'd be better to just cut off his arm, his vision darkened and he succumbed to the nightmares of his memories.

-~-

"He's in the hospital again, Harry." Hermione spoke in hushed words over the breakfast table Thursday morning.

"Who is?" Harry asked staring at the spot where the blonde normally sat; he hated the feelings that swirled in his stomach at the moment.

"Draco." At the mention of the one who was missing, Harry turned to face her.

Ron rolled his eyes, "Serves him right."

" _Ron_ , you don't understand," her voice dropped even quieter as she tried to keep the conversation just to them. Harry leaned forward not wanting to miss a word of the news.

"They think he...he tried to kill himself." She swallowed and Harry tried his best to hide the emotions he was feeling at the moment.

Ron chocked on the piece of bacon he had been eating.

"Wh-what?"

"Well," Hermione looked down at her lap, "It's just speculation. Pansy found him late last night and he had a knife and had been attempting to..." She stopped catching her breath before continuing, "Well he was trying to cut off his Dark Mark they think. Which is absolutely atrocious, because the only real way to remove it is amputation. He'd have to really cut off his skin to get it to go away. There's a whole study on it in  _The Secrets of the Dark Arts,_ you can't even remove it magically."

As Hermione bambled on about how even if Malfoy hadn't been trying to kill himself, he was still causing himself self harm, Harry's heart thudded in his chest and he was beginning to find it hard to focus. If he didn't steady his breathing he might pass out and be in the hospital wings himself. But, he made the conclusion that, that was exactly where he needed to be.

"Well, I must say I hate the git, but I don't exactly want him dead—much less by his own hands," Ron muttered and Hermione gave a small smile looking up and meeting Harry's eyes.

"Are you okay?" The question that never set well in his stomach was back and instead of answering it, because he really hated lying, he ignored it.

"Is he allowed visitors?"

"I don't think so. I'm not even supposed to know this Information; I overheard Pansy talking to Goyle. They're trying to keep it disclosed; he'll hate all the pity, you know?"

"I think you mean hate. No one's going to pity him, Hermione," Ron said, "They'll call him a coward. Some might even be disappointed that he didn't go through with it."

"Don't say that!" She gasped moisture gathering in her eyes.

"You know it's true. People already mumble things, this will only add to the fire." She bit her lip and didn't bother to refute his words.

Harry suddenly stood up abandoning any thought of food.

"What are you doing Harry?" Ron asked his eyebrows furrowed.

"We only have like thirty minutes till Potions, if you miss another class Slughorn won't be happy," Hermione added.

But, Harry only muttered that he had something to do and he'd make it quick before dashing out of the Great Hall.

He quickly climbed the Gryffindor dormitory, grabbing his cloak and throwing it over to give him privacy, before allowing his legs to carry him in the direction his heart wanted to go the most. 


	17. Speaking In Circles

Chapter 17: Speaking in Circles

Draco woke up staring at a bright light with Pomfrey and McGonagall looking over him.

"Oh deary me," Pomfrey mumbled as Draco gasped trying to sit up, "Lay down boy. Mustn't want you to pass out again." She gently pushed him back against the pillow.

McGonagall gave him a look with deep set concentration. Her lips were pursed and she seemed to be debating her words as Pomfrey tended to his vitals.

"Making a good recovery, yes very good," Pomfrey muttered to herself. She turned to face him with a smile, "Much better than the last time you were here."

A creak sounded throughout the room making their heads turn. Pomfrey and McGonagall watched the door slowly bang shut with weary glances, but there seemed to be no one else in the room. Pomfrey turned back to nursing his bandage.

"I'd like a word alone with him, Poppy." McGonagall finally spoke and Draco swallowed as she nodded before turning to leave them to it.

Harry stood in the corner watching the scene unfold, biding his time before he could be alone with Draco himself.

"Mr. Malfoy," she sighed, "Do I need to owl your mother and ask for you to return home or?"

"No!" Draco's voice was urgent and his heart was thudding in his chest.

"Well, I agree I think you ought to stay here at Hogwarts, but we do need to discuss the matters at hand. Was this a suicide attempt? And please think about this very carefully Draco Malfoy. A knife was found in your hand and you were bleeding out profusely. If you had been found thirty minutes later, well, your body would not be lying here but rather a casket."

Harry was finding it very hard to stay quiet at this, but he bit his lip to distract himself.

"So I must ask. Was this a suicide attempt?"

Draco shook his head. "No, madam."

"Were you trying to kill yourself Draco Malfoy?"

He winced at the question. "No, madam."

"Well then please tell me what on Earth were you doing?"

He hesitated from answering; he had to avoid her eyes to truly think.

"Is it gone?"

She stared at him, her eyes piercing into his soul. "Is what gone?"

"The Dark Mark, I was trying to remove it. Is it gone?" Draco had spoken very quickly through gritted teeth.

"No. You must understand Mr. Malfoy, it is impossible to remove the mark. It will forever be engraved in your skin. It's best you learn to live with it than kill yourself trying to remove it."

Draco stared up at the ceiling his eyes filling with water, he hated how vulnerable he seemed at the moment.

"Could you...could they just amputate my arm off please? I can't look at it anymore. I don't think I can live with it."

Harry's stomach was clenched and his muscles hurt from the effort it was taking to not make a move or sound. The word 'please' had never left Malfoy's mouth before, and here he was begging McGonagall to cut off his arm all because of the Dark Mark. He took in a deep breath trying to calm his heart as it tried to beat its way out of his chest.

"I'm afraid not. You can and will live with it."

There was a silence that filled that room and Draco made sure to keep his eyes focused directly on the ceiling.

Finally, McGonagall straightened up and spun around. "Alright, Potter, you may visit the boy now."

A gasp came out of the boy's mouth and Draco turned his view to the corner that McGonagall was facing. The cloak slowly fell off of him and if anyone could look near as bad as Draco in the moment, it was Potter.

"How did you know?" He asked.

"You were never good at staying quiet, especially with doors. I'll leave you to it then, I'll tell Pomfrey to give you a good twenty minutes alone. I suspect that's well enough time for two enemies to chat." She gave a smile, before turning on her heal and waltzing out.

Draco attempted to sit up and struggled to do so. He tried his best to rub his eyes and hide the fact that just moments ago he was seconds away from bawling.

"I take it you're here to see if I'm alive or not? Sorry to disappoint, but I am still breathing," Draco scoffed.

Harry only gave a small smile. "What a shame, I'm stuck with you for a bit longer."

Harry couldn't stop himself from glancing to the bandage on his arm.

"You know you've almost broken my record for coming in here," Harry joked.

"Haha Potter, you're so funny," he said sarcastically.

"Were you really trying to remove it?" Harry whispered.

Draco's composure quickly hardened. "You were the one listening in to a private conversation. You tell me."

Harry swallowed feeling like he was walking on eggshells.

"I don't want to upset you; I just want to tell you I don't mind the Dark Mark. I really don't. It's just like a silly tattoo."

"This may surprise you, but I don't care about your opinion." Before Harry could retort Malfoy continued talking.

"It really isn't some silly tattoo though," Draco barked balling his hands into fists even if it pained his right arm to do so. "You don't seem to get it, Potter. This marks everything wrong with my past. All the mistakes I made. It brands me as the person I truly am and will always be." He dug his nails into the skin of his palm wishing he had his wand so he could send a curse his way.

"It really doesn't. See this?" Harry brought his hand up to push back his bangs and reveal the lightning bolt scar on his forehead, Draco rolled his eyes. "This represents my past too, but I've changed since then. I would never try to remove it."

"Of course you wouldn't! It marks you a  _hero_! Mine marks me the villain. That's who I am. You know that, don't you? You wouldn't understand, you being the Great Harry Potter and all. I am Draco Malfoy, the villain. Everyone hates me and all for this dumb Dark Mark." Draco suddenly had an urge to find his knife and attempt cutting it off again. Maybe if Harry distracted McGonagall and Pomfrey he'd have enough time to cut off his arm himself.

Harry responded the only way he could think to, he placed both his hands on Malfoy's and shook his head. "Listen to me, Draco. You aren't the villain. And I could never hate you. You were put into a situation where you didn't have a choice."

Malfoy pulled away from Harry's intense gaze.

"I could have chosen death, that's what you would have done."

Harry swallowed wishing he could say no. Malfoy laughed bitterly at Harry's loss of words.

"That's what you would have wanted me to do too. And don't deny it. You told me so, remember?"

"That was forever ago, Draco," Harry shook his head but allowed him to withdraw his hands from his.

"It was only like a year ago, Potter. You told me I had a choice, I could have chosen death. And you were right. That's why I allowed you to hex me instead of disarming you." Harry closed his eyes at the memory.

"That was right after Dumbledore's death; you must imagine how I was feeling."

"Well you must imagine how I feel now," he retorted.

Harry pinched the bridge of his nose trying to think.

"You saved my life later, I might not be here today had it not been for you. Your past doesn't have to define you Draco. But, it can guide you from right and wrong. You may call yourself a villain, but I think if you can see what you did wrong then you're not a villain."

A silence fell between them and Draco shuffled uncomfortable by the memories of his past.

"Have you ever tortured someone Potter? I have...I've had to torture so many...their screams won't leave my mind."

Harry looked up at him.

"I know..." He settled in the chair close to Malfoy's bed. "I've killed...Of course hurting someone and hearing their screams is terrible, but to know that by my hands someone lost his life—good or bad, I ended it."

"Voldemort deserved death though." Malfoy mumbled. Harry took a sharp intake of breath.

"Draco, Voldemort was not my only kill." Harry looked into Malfoy's grey eyes, "I take all the deaths on my shoulders, whether by my hand or not, but along the way in fighting I chose not to keep count on which ones were really mine." Harry paused before speaking, "I'm sure the ones you've killed have haunted you as well."

Draco swallowed at that. "I never succeeded on killing anyone. I was meant to, but I never could..." The scars that lined his back were reminders that he had failed.

"So you're telling me you feel like a villain but yet you've never killed anyone?" Harry nearly laughed at the thought.

"You don't need to kill anyone to be a villain. Being evil is enough."

Harry's green orbs stared into Draco's, his face was sunken in and dark undereye circles were easily seen on his pale skin.

"You're not evil, Draco."

Harry's voice was sincere but Draco only scoffed and muttered, "Whatever."

A realization dawned on Harry that this conversation was only leading in circles.

"Got that Potions essay done yet?"

Draco rolled his eyes at Harry's sudden jump in conversation. "Yes, Potter. I got it done last week actually."

"I finished it last night," Harry said nodding and biting his lip trying to think.

"I really hate small talk, so you don't have to bother," Malfoy snapped.

And before Harry could attempt anymore Madam Pomfrey came in muttering about how she gave them nearly 30 minutes. This caused Harry to jump up, apologizing for accidentally hitting Malfoy in the process; he just groaned a small "fuck off," before Harry had dashed out the room.


	18. Ready

Chapter 18: Ready

Hermione and Ron watched Harry settle into class twenty minutes late with weary eyes. Slughorn shook his head, but thanked Harry for finally joining them before he turned his attention back to telling them how to brew a Pepperup Potion. Hermione and Ron waited until the class was over to bombard Harry with questions which Harry promptly lied about claiming he had simply overslept from his nap.

After that day at the hospital, Harry and Draco both avoided the topic about trying to remove the Dark Mark; however the discussion about Draco being a villain was still on the tip of Harry's tongue and he constantly had to bit his lip to stop himself from spilling out disagreements.

It was a week after that Harry began realizing that he would not be able to keep one thing from leaving his mouth. He was terrified of telling anyone, but it was obvious he was hiding something. Especially to his bushy haired friend. Hermione finally cornered him saying, "I know this isn't about Ginny."

They were alone, but Harry still feared the chance of overhearing so he kept his voice low. "You're right, it's not."

He couldn't bare to say anything else even with Hermione's eyes staring him down.

"You can tell me anything, Harry. You know this. So please, what's wrong?"

Harry swallowed as if there was something stuck in his throat. He tried to get the words out, but they tasted wrong on his tongue. "I'm..." He paused unsure. "I don't..."

Hermione raised her eyebrows beckoning him to spit it out.

"I don't like...girls. Really...Uh. I'm into...guys."

Hermione grinned widely before wrapping her arms around him and pulling him into a hug.

"Oh Harry! This is wonderful!" She pulled back to stare at him.

"It is?"

She nodded her head her face still plastered with a smile; she looked an awful lot like a proud parent. "You finally admitted it! I was quite surprised you hadn't realized it earlier. I didn't want to be the one to tell you, but I was contemplating it. So what made you figure it out?" She beamed eagerly up at him, but Harry kept his mouth shut.

Just admitting the first part took a great deal of strength, admitting it was Draco that really caused him to think about it was too much.

"Well after I found out I had been under a love potion, it just got me thinking..." He shrugged and Hermione nodded accepting the lie.

"Have you told Ron?" Her eyebrows arched at that sentence with curiosity and Harry only answered with a small shake of his head. "Oh, Harry! But, you must let him know. And everyone else of course."

Harry gulped at the thought and his stomach dropped at the idea. Hermione gave him a knowing look.

"Everyone will be so accepting," she assured him.

He gave a nod, but couldn't really believe the words.

"Just think of Dean and Seamus," she continued.

"Hermione, but..." He stopped himself taking in a deep breath. "You don't get it. I'm  _Harry_   _Potter_. I'm not supposed to be—" He lowered his voice to speak, "Gay."

Hermione sighed and placed a gentle hand on his arm. "Love is love. Yes, it'll be talk. But, Harry  _when_  aren't you talk. And if anything people will probably love you more now."

Harry swallowed and found her words slightly comforting, but his head still pounded. "I don't think I'm ready to tell anyone yet," he murmured and Hermione nodded and engulfed him in another hug.

"Of course, whenever you're ready."

It was the Tuesday after, Draco Malfoy was finally released. He was now bandaged and scar free, but the mark was still forever etched in his skin. His mother had written him a long letter scolding him, but he was perfectly numb. Draco waltzed into the Great Hall that morning for breakfast with his head high acting as if the rumors hadn't been floating around over him. He caught Harry's eye but immediately turned when Harry nodded to him. He still wasn't used to his friendliness.

Pansy greeted Draco with a smile. He gritted his teeth as he settled next to her.

"I wanted to say," he stopped himself the next words seemed particularly hard to get out, "I—wanted—to—say—"

"Yes?"

She was making it very difficult to get the two words out, because of her smug face.

"Thank—you. Y'know they said if I had been found any later, I'd be dead so, er, thank you."  
But, a part of him wasn't so sure being alive was a good thing. Pansy thought it was though and she gave him a kind smile.

"You're welcome. Are we friends again? Because I think a part of me realized I can't live without you."

"Yes, Pans. We're friends again."

She let out a giddy laugh and slung an arm around him to pull him in a quick side hug as he let out a grunt. She pulled away going back to her meal. Goyle leaned into Draco's ear saying simply, "Glad you're back."

And though it seemed only his body was back, Draco gave a curt nod and thought to himself that maybe he would be able to make it through the remaining semester and next without anything else happening.

However, a few tables over, a raven haired boy was watching this exchange with solemn eyes as his best mate chattered on about Quidditch. And that raven haired boy had a plan in store.

-~-

Harry and Draco didn't talk again until the week before break, they had just finished their exams and Harry was outside enjoying the light snow flurries with his friends as he watched Draco exit the castle. Harry hesitated from shouting anything, especially in front of Hermione and Ron, but Draco had been avoiding anything to do with him. He had been staring at him throughout all of potions and even nearly failed his exams because of him, the least he could do was say "Fuck off Potter!"

"Draco!" Harry exclaimed.

The boy spun around at a numerous speed, his wand was clutched tightly and he seemed to be straining against his will to run.

"What do you want Potter? Come to gloat about beating me in a Potions exam? You know Slughorn favors the chosen one, it's not my fault. If it was up to me, I'd fail you." As Malfoy muttered on, Harry was taking long strides to the boy, despite his friends' strange looks, and by the end of his sentence Harry was standing with only a foot between them.

"I wanted to ask how you're doing," he gave him a smile and Malfoy only rolled his eyes.

"Horrid now that you're talking to me."

"Strange, because it seems to me you're talking back," Harry took another step and there was less than half a foot between them now, if Harry moved upward their noses would be touching—it caused something hot to wield in his stomach, Malfoy seemed to feel something as well because he stumbled backwards.

"Yes, well, you started it. Only using my manners—y'know that thing that some people grow up with, unlike you, Potter." He spitted his name out, but for some reason it still caused Harry's stomach to tighten.

" _Harry_ ," he corrected.

This only caused Malfoy to smirk; he enjoyed tormenting Harry, even if they were meant to be friends.

"Potter."

"Harry!"

"Potter!"

" _HARRY_!"

" _POTTER_!"

And this went on until neither of them could remember if they were meant to be shouting Harry or Potter and his friends' had begun to grow weary at the fact that they were no longer angry at each other, but actually sharing smiles. Their feud seemed quite silly the older they got.

"Would you like to go get a butterbeer with me?"

Malfoy cocked an eyebrow up at this question which caused Harry's cheeks to flush.

"Hermione and Ron would be joining us of course. We already had plans to go. I just, uh, thought I'd invited you along."

Malfoy glanced over Harry's shoulder at the redhead and bushy haired girl.

"Though that invite is oh-so-inviting," he spoke with his sentence dripping in sarcasm, "I'll have to pass."

Harry shrugged feigning nonchalant even though his stomach dropped; sometimes it was nice having a fourth person with them—especially when Hermione and Ron were arguing about their future.

Malfoy opened his mouth to speak and then suddenly closed it. He weighed his options before speaking very quickly, "I spend most of my nights in the West Towers if you ever happen to show up there while I am, well...I won't run away."

And that was a good enough reply for Harry.


	19. Speaking The Truth

Chapter 19: Speaking the Truth

Every night leading up to Christmas break, Harry stared at the Marauder's map for Draco's name. And even when it clearly showed him in the Slytherin dormitory, Harry would make the trek up to the tower and wait a good three hours before deciding the Marauder's map wasn't lying and scolding himself for ever thinking it would. It was the last night before break and Harry had begun to think Draco had lied to him, a big rouse to get Harry on the edge of his seat spending his nights awake in the tower waiting for someone who'd never show. Draco probably figured it'd take him months to give up. It only took him a week. He decided this night would be the last, if he didn't show, then Harry would just confront him and they'd talk another way.

A long rang filled the Gryffindor dormitory signaling it was midnight. Harry spent this night thinking what he normally thought about—the truth. Hermione hadn't pestered him yet about telling Ron, but he knew it was only a matter of time. But, he was nervous and unsure how to say it. The words never felt right on his tongue.

He let out a sigh, his head was pounding again. He didn't like the feeling that was in his stomach right now, he felt the pain of guilt deep in his chest. He hated not telling Ron things, but he didn't feel like the time was right. And he didn't know how to do it. It was much too complicated; he hardly even understood it.

Harry jolted up suddenly as he watched the name Draco Malfoy move for the first time in nights. He was leaving the dormitory now, walking quickly down the corridors heading in the direction of the tower. Harry's heart was pounding and he swung his legs over the bed. He grabbed his cloak and gave a small smile at Ron wishing he could just spit out the truth, then he turned around ready to go meet his destiny.

-~-

Draco felt the wind against his face, it was colder than the last time he'd been there and he wished he had brought a jacket. In honesty Draco had been avoiding coming up here, because he was worried about talking to Potter. He figured a week was long enough to make him forget about his invitation. He thought wrong though.

Harry watched the back of Draco for a while before he finally allowed himself to make an appearance. He studied how it was curved inward and how his shoulder blades moved every time he breathed. He shivered as a particularly strong wind bit through the room.

After it seemed Draco was never going to spin around and notice him until he was on his way to leave, Harry decided to announce himself. He gave a cough and Malfoy looked over his shoulder with a sneer.

"Didn't see you as a stalker, Potter."

Harry laughed at that, "Oh please, I've been stalking you since 6th year." He meant it was a joke, but sudden realization dawned on him that, that wasn't a complete lie. Malfoy raised his eyes in speculation. He seemed debating his comebacks, but Harry left him tongue-tied.

"Well, aren't you just full of surprises?" He turned back to look out at the lake, Harry didn't like that; he wanted to be able to see his face, look into his eyes.

He joined him at the railing so their arms were barely brushing each other, but Malfoy didn't bother to try to put more distance between them.

"It's beautiful up here at night, is that why you come here?"

Malfoy swallowed. "I come up here to think," he grunted. "Which I am trying to do, but it's rather hard with your big mouth not shutting up."

"Right," Harry nodded, "Sorry. I need to think too."

But, Harry didn't want to think, he wanted to act. He'd been thinking too much and that's what had him in this mess.

They didn't make it very long in silence before Harry spoke again.

"Have you ever wondered..." Harry paused realizing this was a very bad idea. But, Malfoy had turned now looking directly into his eyes and he couldn't very well lose the attention he'd just gotten. "If maybe you didn't like girls like you were supposed to...like...if you were attractive to guys?"

Immediately, Malfoy turned back around and didn't pause on his response, but it lacked emotion. "There's nothing wrong with being attractive to guys."

Harry shook his head moving away from the railing and turning to face the wall feeling his face heat up.

"But, like have you ever had the thought?" His heart thudded in his chest as he wondered about the answer.

Still, Malfoy kept his rigid composure and emotionless voice, "Well no. Of course not."

Harry spun back around expecting to be facing his back, but Malfoy was staring right at him now. 

"Never?"

Something snapped inside Malfoy and he balled up his fists. "No, Potter." He growled, "Malfoy's are  _pure_."

Harry's blood was boiling as he heard Malfoy speak with such disgust, his heart was pounding so fast he couldn't even hear himself think and there was something deep inside of him tingling with adrenaline. If he didn't get his mind back in control quickly he knew he was going to do something he very much would regret—which was probably hexing Malfoy to death.

"We would never even dare—" THUD!

There it was, the monster in Harry was released. Only this monster was entirely new and fueled by emotions he couldn't place.

Draco Malfoy was suddenly cut him off by Harry placing his lips against his. 


	20. The Thin Line Between Love and Hate

Chapter 20: The Thin Line Between Love and Hate

Harry Potter was thrown back with such a force it would have sent him tumbling over the tower if he had just been a few feet over; instead he landed promptly on his back on the hard floor.

Draco was frozen; his whole body seemed to forget how to move. Potter said nothing only staring up in fear, Draco's wand was in his hand and he seemed to be ready to hex him any moment. Instead though he muttered, "Fuck you, Potter," and spun around.

Potter scrambled up trying to yell at him to stop and that he was very sorry. Just as Draco reached the first step down he spun around.

"That—" he was so overcome with anger he was shaking, "That was my first kiss. How  _dare_  you?"

Potter opened his mouth to speak, but Draco continued.

"That was meant to be with a girl.  _How dare you?_ "

"Maybe..." Potter's voice was shaky and barely above a whisper, but Draco heard it clearly, "You aren't meant to be with a girl."

"But, I am, Potter. You don't understand. Just because you're gay doesn't mean everyone is gay." 

"You're right! I don't understand! I am so bloody confused, all the time now. I look at Ginny and I feel nothing, I look—" Harry stopped himself, because he realized that when he looked at Draco he did feel something—it definitely didn't compare to how he felt on love potion, but it was  _something_. He didn't want to admit that out loud.

"Well, I don't care. Keep you and your confused gay thoughts away from me." Malfoy huffed one last time before sprinting down the stairs in such a ruckus Harry had to pull out the Marauder's map to make sure no one was about to catch him and that he'd have to run and try to keep him from trouble.

Everything hurt in Harry's body and he knew it wasn't from being thrown to the floor.

He stayed looking out of the tower using the deafening silence to think. But, all he could focus on was how his stomach felt as if he had swallowed a rock and desperately needed to throw up.

The next morning everyone was rushing about trying to gather things to get ready to board the train later that afternoon for break or to apparate. Hermione, who had already packed and had made Ron do so as well, sat beside Harry at breakfast across from Ron. She kept shooting him worried glances as Harry stared at the spot where Draco sat. Harry had no appetite and didn't even bother filling his plate.

"You alright mate?" Ron asked realizing the quietness was abnormal. Harry could only nod; if he opened his mouth he worried he might vomit.

He was on a boat, swaying gently back and forth, it wouldn't be long till he would fall overboard. 

And the shove was just moments away.

Harry watched as if on another planet as Draco placed a hand on Pansy's face and pulled her in for a kiss. The same lips that had touched Harry's last night were now touching another's. Harry's heart pounded and as the kiss lasted much longer than the one he and Malfoy had shared, he knew he could not stay there for another second for his safety and Malfoy's.

Harry jolted up and without another word sprinted out of the Great Hall despite his friends' calls asking for him to explain what was going on.

Harry's ears were red and he was finding it very difficult to breathe (and that had nothing to do with his running). He wanted to punch something and at the same time throw himself off a cliff. The feelings he held deep in his chest reminded him of the monster that had bared itself all those years ago with Ginny. He hated how this monster, much like a dragon, shot fire through his veins.

-~-

Draco had spent the previous night thinking about Harry and his lips and his hair and how his hand cupped his cheek and how the other was placed on his back. His heart thudded inside his chest and sleep never came. It was like for the first time everything was awake.

He waltzed into the Great Hall with his head high. He allowed himself one glance over at the Gryffindor table to know that Harry was in fact there, before he turned and wouldn't even dare to look back again.

The seat next to Pansy was cold and if he was being honest, the prospect of kissing Pansy did not feel the same as the vision of kissing Harry that was engraved in his mind. But, he had to know.

He allowed Pansy to chatter on first, she spoke about the usual things her family, puns, and how thankful she was the year was halfway over. A silence finally fell upon them and Draco saw it as his chance. He didn't have to glance over his shoulder to know that Harry's eyes were staring right at him, or if they weren't he knew they would be soon.

"Pans," he spoke carefully. She turned to stare up at him. This was entirely different from their drunken experience, they were both coherent and it seemed harder to face her when her face wasn't contorted. "Would it be alright if I kissed you?" He hardly moved his lips hoping to outsiders it would just look like a causal conversations.

Pansy's eyes widened and she barely squeaked a yes before Draco placed a hand on her cheek and leaned in.

It began as a soft gentle kiss, but when Draco couldn't feel anything compared to the fire that had been enlightened by Harry, he attempted to deepen it and Pansy played along.

When he heard the patter of running footsteps he knew he had successfully made Harry run off, so he figured it was better that one part of his plan had worked rather than none.

Draco pulled back frowning, though Pansy had a light blush appearing on her face.

"So?" She asked with raised eyebrows. "Are we—"

"I didn't feel anything, Pans. I'm sorry, truly, but you're right. I can't feel anything."

"Oh," and before Draco could apologized again she jumped up taking deep breaths and tears threatening to spill out of her eyes. Draco swallowed at the sight, but knew there was nothing he could do to help her.

-~-

Hermione was the first to approach Harry after his scene. She found him in the library, which was suspicious in itself, but she decided he had chosen it because no one else would be there.

"Harry," she spoke cautiously walking with slow steps. He raised his head off the table and looked at her with furrowed eyebrows. "Do you want to talk?"

He paused. A moment passed before he gave a soft nod and Hermione took the seat besides him.

"Hermione," he began but his voice wavered and he realized how hard it was to put his thoughts into words.

"Is this about Draco and Pansy kissing?" She asked.

Harry sighed and gave a curt nod. He went to explain, but the words got caught in his throat.

"Do you like Draco, Harry?"

Hearing it outloud sounded atrocious, but the feelings inside of him were conflicted. His immediate response was, "No! Course not!" But, then as he thought he added, "Er. Maybe. I don't know. Yes? No. Maybe."

Hermione gave him a weak smile. "I know you do, it's okay, Harry."

"How do you know?"

She laughed at this, "Oh Harry. There's a thin line between love and hate and you two have been trudging it since first year." 


	21. Not Normal

Chapter 21: Not Normal

After the new revelation, Harry felt as if a weight had been lifted off of him.

"I kissed him," he choked out in a laugh.

"Well, how was it?" Hermione smiled and Harry had to admit it was nice talking to Hermione again.

"Merlin, awful. He shoved me away from him the second our lips touched."

A thought struck Harry's mind, one that made his whole body shut down. "He ran out actually...and he hated it...he hated me. There's no way he likes me back Hermione. What am I supposed to do?"

Hermione placed a kind hand on his shoulder and gave him a reassuring smile. "You must ask yourself if it's worth trying to be friends with him even if dating him is off the table. And you also need to apologize."

Harry swallowed and went to ask Hermione how she went about it with Ron, when she suddenly stood up.

"Now, I must get going. Are you sure you don't want to go to the Burrow with Ron and I? It's going to be quite lonely here without anyone."

Harry shook his head, "No. I think you both deserve some time alone there. And besides, being around Ginny is still a bit awkward."

Hermione gave a nod before spinning around and shouting, "Happy holidays!"

-~-

Draco Malfoy sat in his bed clutching his letter to his mother informing her that he will not be coming home this Christmas. He made sure to wait until the absolute last minute that way if she wanted to protest, it would be too late. After giving the letter to the owlery, Draco contemplated going to lunch in the Great Hall, but when he peered in and saw Potter sitting alone moving mashed potatoes on his plate he decided it was best if he didn't.

Most of all the returning 8th years went home for the break, no one particularly liked to be alone in the castle anymore. Draco didn't either, but it was better than the alternative. As he stared out into the darkness later that night, Draco thought that perhaps he should have gone home. At the idea his right forearm burned. Draco dug his top teeth into his bottom lip to distract himself from the pain.

He was restless as he tried to sleep and he realized that for the first time in a while he was truly alone. He'd used the excuse that privacy charms weren't his cup of tea to justify why he hadn't done what he was contemplating yet. But, now he had nothing to stop himself. He took a deep breath and allowed his hand to slowly drift downwards. He rested on the outside on his pants gripping his prick feeling it through the fabric. He closed his eyes trying to think.

It wasn't as if this was the first time he was doing it, this just wasn't the first time he already wasn't turned on over something and doing just out of necessity. This time he wanted to try something new, just to find out if maybe his previous suspicious was true.

He tried to think of the pictures he had seen, ladies in provocative positions, breasts huge and voluminous. But, even as the images flashed through his mind and he slowly stroked himself he couldn't find it pleasing. He never really could.

Tonight he blamed it on the silence and being alone.

Being this alone allowed his thoughts to catch every sound, the creaks from the wind sounded like steps and for a terrifying moment he thought he'd turn his head to see the snake-like eyes staring down at him. That certainly would turn anybody off from a good wank.

Finally, he couldn't take it anymore and gave up. Unable to stand himself, he let out a huff and dragged his legs out of his dorm and through the common room.

-~-

Harry jolted up with a start as his eyes flicked over Draco's name in the west wing on the Marauder's Map. He knew that he should probably let him have distance; he had been doing a great job avoiding him. But, Hermione's words came back to him and he knew that he needed to apologize and try to work out a friendship between them.

Harry gathered the most courage he could and took the journey up the stairs. He stared at Draco longer than necessary. His eyes lingered on his back that Harry never realized could look so incredibly attractive. He cursed himself for this thought; if he wanted their friendship to work he'd have to squash every thought like this.

Draco let out a long sigh and glanced over his shoulder.

"Potter," he spat out.

"I would have thought you'd go home, Draco," Harry said simply slowly approaching him.

There was silence that was only filled by Draco's heavy breathing and Harry's irregular heartbeat.

Draco looked away as he spoke, "I don't like going there more than I have to now...bad memories..."

Not being able to take it anymore, Harry choked out, "Are you still mad at me?"

Something deep crawled out of Draco's voice that sounded like a growl. "I come up here to think, Potter, let me think."

Harry hated how adamant Draco was to not call him Harry, but decided that was a conversation for later.

A long silence took over and Harry found it very hard to keep breathing and not accidently tumble off the tower. He had to grip the cold railing and keep his vision focused on his fingers, if his vision swayed over to the Slytherin he'd pass out.

"No," Draco grunted with his face contorted almost as if it pained him to speak, "I... I think I was more mad at myself..."

Harry's eyebrows furrowed together. He was scared of saying the wrong thing; this was the most open conversation they had ever had especially over this topic. He decided to use it to the best of his abilities.

"Why?"

Draco struggled to answer and his face flushed. He tightened his grip on the railing as he spoke.

"I think....I don't know. I've never really been attracted to anyone...Okay? And then you come up and kiss me and it was like you woke something up. I just thought that...that was what I needed to get everything working. I didn't realize I would only get that feeling from  _you_. And I tried. But. It was still only you...I don't know. I'm so confused. And embarrassed."

Harry swallowed, his bottom lip trembled and for some reason it seemed that Draco's eyes were glistening with tears.

"It's okay to be gay."

Draco let go of the railing and Harry noticed that his hands were shaking; he had an overwhelming need to place his hands on top of Draco's but decided against it.

"I know that. I know...And I don't..." He was at a loss of words. As he paused a sudden burst of energy shot through him. "I'm not disgusted by others being gay. I'm disgusted by myself being gay, because the whole point of Malfoys is to carry down the line and the name. I'll be the end now. And my father will hate that."

Harry's whole body heated up, here Draco was at the point of admitting his feelings for Potter, but yet he was denying himself.

"Screw your father."

"You don't get it, Potter, it doesn't matter how much of a bastard my father is, he's still my father and I will always seek his approval. He'll never approve this."

Draco was caught between being inexplicably angry and sad. His emotions swarmed through him and he just didn't understand why he couldn't be  _normal_. Why  _he_  out of all people had to deal with this? And why  _Potter_  out of everyone had to get him to realize this? Why not Goyle or Blaise? Instead the thought of either made him want to throw up.

"How do you know?" Harry's heart was pounding so fast he was sure he was having a heart attack.

"I just know!" He shouted. The deadly silence appeared again. "He's never approved of anything I've done," he mumbled.

Harry moved with his gut and placed a hand on Draco's, he only pulled his hand back as if it burned him.

"I-I'm sorry," Harry whispered staring up into the Slytherin's dark grey eyes. His pale skin seemed more pale now in the moonlight and there was a need deep in Harry's chest to reach out and cup his cheek. His footing faltered as he thought that.

"For what?" Draco grunted.

"For kissing you, I shouldn't have done that. It was your first kiss and I just stripped it away from you. I'm sorry."

Draco stayed silent and looked away, but Harry held his ground still staring at his perfectly chiseled face. He didn't know how he'd never allowed himself to notice just how beautiful he was.

In a swift motion, Draco collapsed on the ground and leaned back against the wall. Harry stared down at him.

"Do you have any alcohol by chance?" Draco closed his eyes and Harry frowned at the thought of getting drunk at the moment. He needed to be sober in order to keep his thoughts straight. But, Harry knew that the elves in the kitchen would be more than willing to donate him a bottle, they had done it before after all, and he also knew that it might make Draco less on edge.

"One minute," Harry said before spinning around. 


	22. Drunken Thoughts

 

Chapter 22: Drunken Thoughts

Harry arrived ten minutes later with two strong bottles of whiskey. While Draco waited for him to come back he pinched the bridge of his nose and focused on breathing properly. Something twisted in his stomach at the thought of Harry Potter. And when he touched his hand it felt in a way... _comforting_.

He shook his head and knew that a drink would help him push away any idea of Harry Potter being comforting.

Harry handed him a bottle while explicitly telling him they'd have to take it easy, because the alcohol was strong enough in little quantities.

Draco promptly responded, "I know my alcohol, Potter. No need to patronize me."  
But, it turned out Draco did not know his alcohol, because one hour later he was lying his head in Potter's lap giggling on about fairies and completely plastered.

"D'yknow that when I was younger, my mother c-convinced me that we had a fairy c-court yard," he hiccupped. Harry smiled lazily at him. The thought of Draco having such a simple childhood seemed absurd to him.

"Did your parents do such things as that?" Draco asked staring up at Harry. He bit his lip thinking about his childhood and shook his head.

"I know that you were raised by muggles, but they have fairies, don't they?" It seemed as if Draco was actually genuinely curious.

"Some muggles have fairy gardens, but mine didn't. They refused to have anything with any resemblance to magic, even me."

Draco's gaze was intense and though Harry had a strong sensation that he should look away he didn't. Draco lifted a hand up and grazed Harry's jaw. He smiled as he laid back his hand back down on his stomach.

"Ya'know I kissed Pans..."

Harry's stomach twisted at the memory, he didn't trust himself to speak so he only nodded.

"It was terrible," Draco frowned before laughing. "Your kiss was better, you shouldn't have apologized."

Harry's face flushed. He wasn't nearly as drunk as Draco and he was sure Draco wouldn't have wanted himself to say things like that.

"Could we... Let's kiss again," Draco said confidently, but making no movements to make his lips touch Harry's again.

"You're drunk, Draco," Harry said running a hand through Draco's hair. It was soft under his touch and he wanted nothing more than to lean down and kiss him. But, he knew that if Draco was sober he wouldn't be anywhere near him right now, let alone let him run his fingers through his hair.

As Harry's fingers rubbed a specific part of Draco's head, Draco let out a sigh that caused Harry to feel warm.

"I'm not drunk, Potter.  _Kiss me_." It wasn't a suggestion anymore, it was a demand. And Harry couldn't refuse himself from the thing he desired the most.

He slowly leaned down giving Draco plenty of time to push him away and change his mind. But, he didn't. In fact he leaned up meeting him halfway. Their lips touched briefly before Harry pushed forward and Draco leaned deeper into Harry's lap. Harry bit gingerly onto Draco's bottom lip and he opened his mouth with a soft moan. Heat coursed through Harry's body and he couldn't help but compare this kiss to the ones he had shared with Ginny, those were nothing compared to this.

But, it didn't last long enough.

Harry pulled back for air and he knew that tomorrow Draco would be ignoring him again, because of this stupid choice. But, in the moment it felt so good.

Draco sighed with his eyes closed. Harry pressed his forehead against him relishing in the feeling. His whole body was on a fire and there was a deep need inside him to kiss Draco again and again and again. There was a thirst he knew he would never be able to quench, no matter how many times they kissed.

Suddenly, Draco placed a hand against Harry's chest pushing him away. Harry furrowed his eyebrows as Draco rolled off of him and struggled to stand up.

"You alright?" Harry asked. His heart thudded and he was worried Draco was already regretting the kiss and was going to hex him.

"Yeah, it's morning is all," he grunted gesturing to the outside world. He was in fact correct. The sky was becoming a light pinkish hue. Draco yawned, but Harry had no desire for sleep at the moment. Not when he had Draco so close in his clutches for the first time in months. Clearly, Draco was going to try and get sleep though, because he began stumbling towards the steps. Harry jumped up and placed an arm on his just in time before he took a tumble down the stairs.

"Mhmm, thanks, Potter," he mumbled leaning his weight into Harry. Harry chuckled.

"Any chance you'll remember any of this tomorrow?" He frowned slightly at the thought. They'd made it so far it'd be a shame if tomorrow Draco had decided that his revelation of his feelings for Harry were in fact false.

"I'm  _not_  drunk," he repeated, "So I'll remember all."

With arms laced and footsteps slow, they mounted down the stairs. Harry lead Draco back to the Slytherin dormitory and just as he was about to leave him in front of the door alone, Draco tugged him along.

"None of my roommates stayed here," he explained as they entered the room, "Too quiet for me to sleep."

Harry only nodded, his voice was gone and his mouth felt dry at the prospect of being alone with Draco inside a dormitory.

At first Harry had planned on simply lying in one of the beds next to him (while trying not think about  _who_  the bed belonged to), but before Harry had let go of Draco's arm he was already falling into his bed and Harry had been taken down with him.

Draco seemed too tired and too drunk to protest, for he only adjusted against him and laid his head onto Harry's shoulder and promptly passed out. By the time Harry realized he was in an uncomfortable position and they still had shoes and clothes on, Draco was snoring lightly in his ear.

He sighed and adjusted best he could, while also trying his best not to think about just how close Draco was to him right now with his stomach pressed against his back and his arms wrapped around his torso.

Early that afternoon, Harry was woken up by a start. He landed face first into the ground and hit his nose particularly hard. He blinked his eyes at the light and rubbed his temple trying to get his bearings. His head had a dull ache, but that was less from the alcohol and more from getting thrown off the bed.

Malfoy peered over the edge with bloodshot eyes.

"Whoops," he sneered.

Harry adjusted his glasses and flushed red at the sight of how Malfoy's hair looked at the moment. It was a complete mess, if he was being honest it reminded himself a lot of his hair, but for some reason it looked incredibly hot on Malfoy.

Malfoy leaned back against his headboard with his eyes squeezed shut. Harry slowly stood up hoping he didn't look as shaky as he felt.

"If you even breathe a word about what happened last night I will personally hex you into the next year. Do you understand that, Potter?" He opened one grey eye and although he didn't look that menacing, the words were like a punch to Harry's lungs.

"C-can we talk though? About the..."

"About what? Nothing happened." He grunted.

"We kissed," Harry blurted out without meaning to.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Malfoy spoke nonchalant and refused to look Harry into the eye.

Harry sighed. "You know you're such a coward, Malfoy? You know the truth. Don't try to run from it, it'll just make it worse."

Harry stomped out of the Slytherin dorms without a clue that after he left Draco let out a strangled breath and mentally cursed himself. 


	23. Homesick

Chapter 23: Homesick

Draco knew that if he were to go to the tower the following night, Potter would show up. It was only natural. He also knew that if he were to show up, he wouldn't be able to stop the feelings he had been denying for years from surfacing.

His right forearm burned and he was haunted by memories. He had gotten an owl earlier from his mother. He had expected a Howler and was silently disappointed his mother was only mad enough to send a strongly disapproving letter. The odd thing about the letter was that she asked about Harry. Though he guessed the odder thing was that  _his_  original letter didn't mention Potter in some way or another. Ever since the War she had a habit of bringing up the boy and every time it caused Draco's stomach to twist, but he had already assumed it was disgust—now he didn't know anymore.

The question she had asked made his stomach do flips now. She had simply asked how he was doing, but for some reason that caused Draco's mind to go into a frenzy. They had spent more time in the recent weeks than they had ever had, but yet he didn't know anything about him. The problem was Draco had given Potter enough information that he could blackmail him for life. The first kiss alone was enough, but now there had been another not to mention the cuddling that had transpired the morning after. Then his nightmares and his sexuality...

Harry Potter knew more than his own best friends did. And it terrified Draco because he didn't have any leverage over him. He was sure Hermione and Ron knew all about Harry and his problems, but yet if Potter decided to breathe one word of Draco's it would be the end.

So that night Draco went to the tower with a goal in mind, to learn how the great Harry Potter truly was.

-~-

When Harry saw the direction Draco was heading to on the Map, his heart pounded and he wanted nothing more than to follow. His stomach lurched though and he knew he needed to keep his distance, after all the face he had given him this morning was a face full of disgust. Harry wanted to be at least friends with Draco and so he knew they needed their time apart. So Harry bit his lip and stayed alone in the eerie Gryffindor tower.

That night Harry's mind was plagued with nightmares, a series of deaths played before him each worse than the last. Then as if Death wanted to taunt him, his nightmare was a fork in the road. Ron, Hermione, and Draco all stood in front of him. Hermione's stomach was plump with life and Ron was clutching her hands with tears falling down his eyes. Draco stood tall, his body dignified and he hardly looked at Harry.

"You must save, Hermione," Ron said turning to Harry. Harry blinked, his mind trying to latch onto what this nightmare was trying to force him to do. His stomach dropped as it dawned on him, like a thought had just been thrown into his head by an outside force like most dreams are.

"I can't let you and Draco die, Ron," Harry's voice sounded weak and hollow. He himself was beginning to fade away, it was clear he had to make a decision and quickly.

Who could he choose? Hermione, who seemed about ready to burst? Ron, his best mate and nearly a brother? Or Draco, the boy who had weaseled his way into his heart?

It was an impossible decision, one he seemed he'd rather not make and waste away and allow them all to die instead. There was the obvious choice, which was Hermione. She was carrying a baby after all. But, how could he walk away knowing he'd succumbed the other two to death?

"Maybe I can save all of you."

"You can't, Potter," Draco drawled. He seemed the only one not fazed, "The choice is obvious, don't you think?"

Ron spun around instinctly with fists held tightly waiting for Draco to speak his mind. "You must save, Granger."

Ron loosened his muscles and nodded while Hermione broke down in tears.

"You mustn't, Harry. You know it has to be Draco."

Ron's eyebrows were furrowed together and his face was turning redder and redder. Harry felt himself fading farther away. He was pushed forward by instinct, rushing to Draco's side. He knew he had to pick Hermione, but he decided he owed Draco a goodbye.

He grasped Draco's hands tightly. "I can't ever lose you."

Draco kept his cold composure and said nothing.

Harry woke up drenched in sweat and his head was pounding. His throat was dry so he quickly conjured up some water. He couldn't stop thinking about his nightmare. His heart was still pounding in his chest and all he could think about was the possibility of not having Draco in his life. He hated that possibility. But, he knew Draco didn't want him. He sighed and rubbed his temple.

He pulled the tattered Marauder's Map out and stared at the map. Draco was still in the tower. It was a quarter past one; he could still go up there and see him. But, he shook his head, he couldn't. However, he knew that the second he'd close his eyes he'd be thrown back into another nightmare and he didn't particularly want to go back through the pervious scenario.

Harry finally settled with wandering the corridors. He kept his eyes locked on the Marauder's Map to make sure Draco wasn't leaving the tower. He didn't feel like running into him tonight and fighting. He was just so tired of everything. Once his feet felt like lead he carried himself back to his bed. There he finally passed to a deep restless sleep.

The morning came and Harry opened his eyes to see light coming in through his blinds. It was the day before Christmas Eve, he pictured what it must be like this year the Weasley's. He could nearly feel the tension with George. His heart felt as if an icy hand had reached inside and grasped it. Overcome with guilt he stayed in bed for another hour not bothering to get up until it was lunch time. He briefly wondered about Ginny and how she was. Then he thought about Hermione and Ron, he was sure Mrs. Weasley was gushing over Hermione right now. No doubt they were probably discussing genders of the baby. The thought made Harry smile, but it faded when the pain settled in.

Truly there was multiple reasons why he decided not to go to the Burrow for Christmas this year. There was the obvious guilt he had to deal with and then there was the unsettled tension between him and Ginny. But, then there was the feeling of home that he had yet to find. He did feel it at the Burrow, but it was solemn and not the great feeling he wanted. The first time he arrived to Hogwarts, his heart swarmed as he stared at the castle. He wanted that again. He was deep in the great abyss of sorrow and the only way out seemed to be that feeling, only the problem was he didn't know how to get that feeling again.

He'd felt it briefly when Draco's lips touched his, but it wasn't enough. He was searching for a feeling he didn't know if truly existed. All Harry knew was that he found himself being homesick for a place he didn't know. 


	24. Still Not Gay

  
Chapter 24: Still Not Gay

The tower was colder than usual that night; Draco assumed it was because he was alone. He couldn't believe it. He could have sworn Harry would have come, but yet here he was a quarter past two and still alone. He let out a huff and decided that it was pointless to wait any longer. He trudged down the corridor. It was dark and quiet, but every turn seemed to lurk with monsters.

His memories were screaming at him and there was nothing he could do to block them out. His mind was being torn apart by images of torture and images of Potter.

Unable to control himself he made a mad dash for the bathroom. Inside he clutched the sink and was thrown back in time. If he looked into the mirror just right, he could see Harry behind him, wand raised ready to curse. This time though, he wouldn't fight. He'd bow his head and let the spells hit him with no defense. He deserved them.

He unbuttoned his shirt and allowed his hand to run over his scars. They stood out vividly on his chest. The pain was unbearable and he could still feel it now if he closed his eyes. It was a vision Voldemort liked to torture him with, the pain had been engraved inside his mind.

The thing was, Draco had raised his wand to say Cruciatus when Harry had said his spell, not that it would have done any damage. Still, how could he be mad at Harry when he was about to use an unforgivable on him? He hung his head and dropped his hands.

His lungs expanded and he couldn't bare to look back in the mirror. He didn't like the man he was and he didn't like who he had become.

He hated himself.

And he hated how easily Harry seemed to get into his mind and twist his thoughts.

And he hated the most about himself that he had enjoyed the kiss Harry and he had shared.

He enjoyed it so much that, that seemed to be the  _only_  good thing he could picture.

_Crack!_ The mirror shattered to pieces. Draco hadn't even realized what he had done until he looked down at his hand and saw it was bleeding profusely. The pain hadn't reached his system yet though so he just stared blankly at the sight. It almost looked beautiful how the red mixed into his pale skin. But, then he cursed himself because the color red made him think of a certain Gryffindor and he did not want to think of him.

He pulled a small shard of glass between his knuckles out then used his shirt to gather the blood and wrap his hand. The pain filtered through his body and he gritted his teeth as he applied pressure. Once the bleeding seemed to have died down and his body felt capable of moving again he turned to leave the bathroom.

He stared down the abandoned corridors careful to check and make sure he was still alone, before sprinting back to his dorm. Once back he did his best to tend to his hand. It didn't seem too badly damaged. If he knew better healing charms he would be in perfect health, he only knew the basics though and they mainly got rid of bruising and simple scarring.

The hand didn't seem to be bad enough to go to the Hospital Wing and besides he didn't particularly want to pay Pomfrey another visit. As he laid in his bed, he stared at his ceiling thinking.

His thoughts roamed to the idea that had plagued him last time he was alone in a bed. His hand that was hurt was the one he normally used, but this was after all an experiment. He closed his eyes picturing a flurry of images. He already knew that the girls didn't make his stomach twist correctly, but he wanted to picture something else—someone else.

He hadn't meant for it to so suddenly appear, in fact he was trying  _not_  to think about it, but he pictured Harry's lips and it turned out he really did enjoy that picture. His left hand reach below to lightly stroke, but just as quickly as Harry appeared he cursed himself and stopped deciding this was a very bad idea. He couldn't be attracted to  _Potter_ , especially not  _that_  way.

His problem was that he hadn't done a lot with anyone. That had to be it.

However, it was break so what was stopping him from at least experimenting?

That morning on December 23rd, Draco stayed in bed for breakfast but finally made it down for lunch. His hand was still wrapped in a sort of bandages he had found in the Slytherin dorms—it had made writing a tiresome endeavor. In his damaged hand, though, he held the note. His heart pounded, but he made sure to keep his head high as he walked over to the Gryffindor table. Harry seemed to be grossly entranced by his green beans, but Draco sat the piece of paper down anyways.

He let out a grunt to acknowledge hello, before spinning around and leaving Harry to sort out the note for himself.

Draco hardly ate, looking forward to the night in anticipation.

Meanwhile, Harry Potter opened the note to read in jaunt rough scribbling:  _Tower. Tonight._

            The sun slowly set and Harry watched it from his dorm breathing deeply. He kept the note in his hand, his fingers trailing the words. He didn't have to go, but he felt like he needed to. His heart seemed to be torn in a million pieces. He couldn't help but wonder about what Draco would think if he didn't show. He might event tease him the next day if he didn't go up there. Besides he did want to meet him, so why deny himself what he wanted?

            He let out a sigh. His legs seemed to have a mind of their own and carried him to the tower. Harry got to the top of the stairs finding Draco in his usual position. Just like always, Harry stared at the curve of Draco's back before finally moving forward. Draco seemed to be more rigid than normal and he clutched the railing tightly, though Harry noticed one hand was bandage. Harry worried that his uneasiness was because of the kiss. He edged forward carefully.

"Draco?" He breathed.

Draco slowly turned around his grey eyes glistening in the moonlight.

"Potter," he nodded moving his damaged hand from view by placing it behind his back.

Harry took each step carefully. It was deadly silent and the distance between them was slowly fading. Harry was so close to him now he could reach up and caress Draco's jaw. He hesitated waiting for Draco to protest before tilting his head upwards. The kiss was gentle and Harry pulled back quickly.

"I—" Draco paused, "Er. I...I think, I might. Eh. Maybe. Possibly..." Harry gave him a small smile and Draco straightened his spine. "I think there may be a possibility Potter that I do find you attractive."

Harry smirked.

"But," he continued, "I'm not gay."

"No, of course not," Harry chuckled before placing a hand on Draco's cheek.

"And I do not actually  _like_  you. I just can admit when there's a good looking bloke. Okay?"

"Of course," Harry mumbled nuzzling his head inbetween Draco's neck and shoulder.

"And this means completely nothing. I'm just experimenting."

"Mhmm," Harry suddenly began kissing Draco's neck trying to find his sweet spot. He landed on a sensitive spot right below Draco's ear that caused him to gasp. Harry grinned into Draco's neck, while gingerly nibbling his skin. He stayed in this position while Draco whimpered quietly as he worked. He didn't pull away until there was a red mark there. Harry smiled down at it before going back to attack Draco's lips.

Draco placed his hands in Harry's hair pulling it silently. They came apart and Draco bit his lip.

"Still saying you're not gay?"

Draco narrowed his eyes, "Yes, Potter."


	25. The Secret Affair

Chapter 25: The Secret Affair

They were lying on the tower floor on top of a blanket Harry had conjured. Draco laid on Harry's chest and Harry stroked Draco's hair peacefully. This was nice, Harry thought, he could stay like this forever.

After a heated makeout session they had found themselves on the ground. Draco listened to Harry's heartbeat and felt Harry's chest rise and fall.

"You know, we could do this...Just for fun. An experiment for each other..." Harry murmured. He truly did want something more but he'd rather have something than nothing. Draco just grunted.

"We don't have to tell anyone, not at first at least..." He added.

"There won't be anything to say," Draco said pulling himself off of Harry. Harry's stomach twisted.

There was an uneasy silence before Draco finally turned around. "Just over break, we can just 'experiment'. Test the waters." He nodded to himself as he spoke. And Harry stared at him expectantly.

"Try to see if you are gay?"

Draco rolled his eyes.

"Alright touchey subject, I'll put that aside for now then," Harry chuckled before pulling Draco back in for a kiss.

Draco was shocked by his forcefulness but pleasantly enjoyed it. Harry gave a soft nibble to Draco's bottom lip and he opened his mouth allowing their tongues to dance.

Draco sighed into Harry's mouth and Harry couldn't help but have his trousers feel especially tighter. Draco was leaning into Harry's chest and the hand that wasn't currently entangled in Harry's hair was pressing against his thigh. Harry's hands were planted on the cold cement floor trying to hold himself steady, it was only a matter of time till he'd lose his strength and hit his head into the wall.

Draco pulled back his cheeks flushed. They took deep breaths and Harry adjusted.

"I...I think that's enough experimenting for tonight," Draco jumped up suddenly and gave an awkward cough. Harry swallowed trying his best to make his bulge less noticeable. Yes, they were supposedly 'experimenting', but Harry still felt shame that he could so easily be turned on by Draco when just not that long ago he was supposed to be repulsed by the idea of him. The problem was he was beginning to not understand why he had never found Draco so attractive.

-~-

Once Draco had gotten back to his dormitory, he immediately crawled into his bed and struggled to pull down his pants. He felt free in the no longer restricting clothing. He'd seem to enjoy that more than he should have. He let out a sigh as he squeezed his eyes and thought through the images of what he and Harry could have done. His lower half seemed to be very pleased by the image as well.

But, this was all very overwhelming. He'd spent so long trying to repress even just a small thought like this. If he even so thought a guy looked good, he'd immediately scold himself and push it away. And here he was pleasuring himself to an image?

He felt bile rise up his throat. But, at the same time he didn't understand. How could it feel so good, but still be wrong?

His stomach twisted, but he swallowed down any negativities and he squeezed his eyes shut as suddenly his legs felt like jelly and the sick feeling was replaced with a warm fuzzy feeling.

Perhaps next time, he'd convince Potter to go farther. He'd seemed flustered as well, after all, perhaps he had a good wank afterwards to.

And that image caused his body to get all relied up and he decided to try to stop denying himself of having fun.

The next morning, Draco found Potter before he'd enter the Great Hall (not that it'd matter too much if he'd been seen talking to him during breakfast—nearly everyone had gone up for Christmas).

"You hungry?" He asked while eyeing him up and down. Potter still had the god awful bed head, but he there was never a moment he didn't have that, and Draco couldn't help himself but think it was rather hot.

"Yeah, fancy some eggs and toast?" Potter said his eyes still halfway closed and he stumbled slightly as he walked.

Draco placed an arm on him to keep him from venturing further.

"I had something else in mind."

Before Potter could protest Draco was dragging him up the flights of stairs and to the Room of Requirement.

He backed him into a wall and this time Draco was the one initiating contact, and he was showing no signs of backing down. Even as he ran out of breath, he pressed his body against Harry so that every piece possible were touching. Harry let out a groan as they grinded against each other. The friction was unbearable but not enough.

Draco turned his focus to Harry's neck, the mark Harry had left him the other night was still there (he wasn't particularly gifted at the covering charms, but he also wanted to keep it as reminder), he wanted to mark Harry the same as he had done to him. He placed soft gentle kisses on his pale skin and waited for the sharp intake of breath to let him know the spot. Once he'd found it, he didn't hold himself back from attacking. Although, he'd never done it before, it was like he knew exactly what to make Harry melt.

Draco finally pulled back and his finger trailed over the red, purple, mark that was now slightly above Harry's collarbone.

They were still pressed together and if Draco moved just right their bulges would rub against each other, which shot tingles through his body. He pulled back slightly allowing some distance.

"Let's do this, but we'll keep it quiet." Draco's gruff voice ringed through Harry's ears. He was still trying to gather a coherent thought. It was too early for Harry to be trying to think rationally.

"Yeah? Like you're really truly going to do this?"

"Yes, Potter. I suggest we sneak up here every day and just keep it all quiet. No one has to know. It'll be like a secret affair."

He smirked and Harry couldn't stop the laugh that escaped.

"Harry Potter and the secret affair with Draco Malfoy. I think the world might have just combusted."

"Hmm," Draco murmured going back to Harry's neck, "I think it has."


	26. An Odd Christmas

Chapter 26: An Odd Christmas

It was an odd Christmas this year for Harry Potter, not that all his Christmases hadn't already been odd. But, this Christmas fell on a Wednesday making it have a naturally odd feeling. Then there was the fact that he was alone, alone besides a certain blonde. He didn't have Hermione or Ron like he usually did, so waking up was particularly hard. He'd asked Draco to stay the night on Eve, but he had refused muttering nonsense. Which meant when Harry woke up at 6AM, he stared blankly at the ceiling before deciding the day wasn't worth starting so early and going back to bed.

When he finally got the strength to get out of bed, he'd opened his presents first. Hermione had gotten him a book about Aurors a subtle hint at her attempts to get him to start thinking about his future and Ron had sent him a pile of candy including Chocolate Frogs and Bertie Botts Beans, it gave him an odd fluttery feeling in his stomach as he thought about all the long train rides they had share and how they now only had one left.

It was a very odd Christmas.

After he'd gotten Hagrid's unwrapped he moved to the next bulky package. It was slightly squishy and he knew before tearing the parchment apart that it was going to be a sweater. He felt his heart swarm as he pulled it on. It made Christmas feel a little more like Christmas.

The Great Hall was a sight to see, with more Christmas trees than students. Harry had just a few seconds to settle down into the bench and get mashed potatoes onto his plate before he was interrupted.

"Happy Christmas, Potter," Draco spoke through gritted teeth. Harry didn't need to look up to know Draco was wearing his signature sneer.

"Happy Christmas, Draco."

Harry had expected him to leave after that, but he felt the bench adjust and Draco had plopped beside him.

"I suppose, it is Christmas, so a Christmas miracle is acceptable for us to sit together," he nodded at his words before helping himself to some green beans. "Where were you this morning?"

Harry shrugged. "Slept in."

Draco gave him an incredulous look, but Harry didn't know how to explain himself. Christmas just didn't really feel like Christmas. Which was strange, because he couldn't remember the last time Christmas felt like Christmas (he was probably about 11).

"Nice sweater," Draco scoffed while eyeing the letter H, "Is it there in case you forget how to spell your name?"

"It actually is a nice sweater. I rather like it. It's soft."

Draco rolled his eyes. "It'd be much better off," he muttered.

Harry's face suddenly got very hot and he dropped his fork. Draco noticed his affect on him and smirked.

"I can ask Mrs. Weasley to make you one next year."

"That's the last thing I'd want."

"Hmm," Harry picked up his fork, "What a shame. I was really looking forward to taking it off of you."

Harry understood the implication on what he was saying. He was saying that a year from now, he could still see Draco in his life—whether it be still experimenting or not. But, Draco seemed completely unphased apparently not picking up on Harry's suggestion. Instead he only bit his lip before speaking.

"I can think of some other things you can take off, don't worry." And the wink he ended with made Harry forget all about his mashed potatoes.

Lunch didn't last long. Harry was the one to drag Draco to the Room of Requirement this time. And this time they stayed pressed together longer than before. Every time they touched, it seemed Harry just wanted more. Everything was just a taste and Harry wanted the full course meal.

Harry was the first to take off his shirt and Draco trailed a hand down Harry's chiseled abs. All the scars he had on his chest, but yet Harry had none. It would have made him feel sick if he wasn't mesmerized.

Harry's hands were now fiddling with the buttons on Draco's shirt and as he took it off he struggled to breathe. Although, Harry had already seen his scars, he still felt exposed not to mention, this was different. This wasn't just a quick look for Harry to understand his nightmares; this was his body on show. It was like they were comparing chests and Harry's most certainly won.

"I can't believe I did this to you," Harry spoke softly a finger tracing a deep scar across his chest.

"They weren't all from you, I told you this," Draco rolled his eyes just wanting to go back to kissing Harry. He leaned back into the bed fully aware that all his scars on his chest were out in the open now. He would be lying if he said that he didn't know where each and every one came from. At times he could close his eyes and still feel the pain.

"Why—why did Voldemort give you some of these?" Harry's eyes were full of concern, but Draco was beginning to become annoyed. They had came here to experiment not to have a long discussion about his past.

"I failed his word. That's all. Now, I can think of some better places your hands can go rather than my chest," he smirked and though Harry really wanted to know why he had his scars he was temporarily distracted as he felt Draco's hands trail his hip bone. His hands then went to the button on his trousers and before Harry could ask anymore he was only in his underpants.

Draco was the next to lose his pants and as it occurred to him that they were both nearly naked, he wasn't so sure what the next move should be.

They switched positions as Draco got an idea.

"I want to try something," he said with a sly smile. Harry was already breathing heavily, his chest rising in anticipation.

Draco's hand inched forwards towards his bulge and Harry couldn't help but let out a small moan at just the thought of what was about to happen.

"I haven't even touched you yet, Harry," he murmured while his hand went to Harry's chest teasing him as it slowly lowered.

Harry didn't even roll his eyes, instead in an entirely subconscious move he thrusted forward. His body was begging Draco to just touch him.

Draco chuckled before finally moving. He licked his lips bracing himself for what he was about to do. He traced the outline of the bulge and Harry took a sharp intact of breath, his cheeks tinted pink. Draco could tell how hard he was and a part of him did want to try even more, but he wasn't sure what to do. This all felt so foreign. But, as he stroked Harry's prick over his briefs, Harry clearly enjoyed it because he was letting out deep moans that caused Draco's stomach to clench. He was thrusting into Draco's hand even, so he decided it best to keep doing as he was.

Harry let out a strangled gasped.

"D-draco," he groaned and Draco watched him as he finally came. He squeezed his eyes shut, grasping the sheets of the bed and breathing heavily.

Draco pulled back and lied beside him finding it hard to breathe himself. He was unbearably hard now, watching the whole thing play out was nearly enough to get him to come himself. Once Harry had gathered himself, he turned over to straddle Draco as he had just done to him.

"Your turn," he said with a smirk.

Draco couldn't stop the moan that came from the pressure of Harry's bulge against his.

"Tsk, I haven't even touched you yet, Draco."

Draco rolled his eyes. "Shut, up Potter."

"Make me."

And so Draco reached up and placed his lips against Harry's as Harry's hands found themselves preoccupied. Harry's hand wandered down to the waist line of Draco's underwear. All of it was too much and Draco already found himself very close to the edge. His stomach was twisting and his whole body felt very hot.

Harry pulled back to focus on his main target. He swallowed staring at the large bulge before dragging his hand across slowly caressing it. Draco had a large intact of breath. Harry thought about how good it felt to him and only hoped it'd feel that good for Draco.

It must have felt better because it was only but a minute before Draco was grasping the sheets tightly just as Harry done minutes before. 


	27. Drunken Celebration

Chapter 27: Drunken Celebration

They stayed laying in the bed for a while. Draco closed his eyes briefly and found that sleep came. It was the best sleep he had, had in a while with no nightmares. When he woke, Harry was at the foot of the bed with a plate full of turkey and two bottles of whiskey.

"I thought we deserved a Christmas celebration," he smiled.

"I thought we already had that," Draco chuckled before reaching for one of the bottles and taking a swing.

Harry bit his lip and Draco couldn't stop the warm feeling that coursed through his stomach at the sight. Harry also took a drink before taking some turkey and passing it to Draco. He didn't feel all that hungry, but felt inclined to eat at least something. So, Draco took a piece and nibbled on it.

"About your scars..." Harry started and Draco automatically tightened.

"Enough, Potter, I already explained all I can." He grumbled while placing his uneaten turkey back onto the plate.

Harry sighed running a hand through his hair.

"Please, I'm curious." Harry got up and moved closer to Draco eyeing his still bare chest. He fidgeted feeling uneasy under Potter's intense gaze.

"What about you? And all the secrets you're keeping?"

Potter's eyebrows furrowed together. "I'm not keeping any secrets."

"That's the problem! You know all of mine, Potter. Any second you can turn any from me and ruin my life, you keep saying we're equals but yet at any second you could blackmail me."

Draco was finding it very hard to breathe now.

"I'd never blackmail you, Draco," Harry could almost laugh at the thought had Draco not seemed so serious, "Besides you could blackmail me back." He shrugged, but Draco's eyes widened.

"Hermione is the only one that knows I'm gay and besides just that, no one knows that I'm hanging out with you. Not that I'd mind if word got out. I'm just saying if you wanted to, we both have things over the other."

This seemed to put Draco more at ease, but he still didn't feel like explaining his scars. Harry was very adamant about the topic though.

Finally, Draco let out a sigh. He found a place at the wall and stared deeply at it to not facing Harry as he spoke.

"I got the scars, Potter, from Voldemort after I failed him..."

Harry nodded biting his tongue to keep himself from grumbling about how he already knew this. 

"The ones in particular that you keep staring at...I got them after I lied about it being you in the manor. I—" Draco gasped feeling overwhelmed from his past. His arm was burning and he had to swallow to push down the bile growing. He felt Harry shift beside him. They weren't touching, but he could feel his presence.

"He punished me afterwards, threatened me with Fenir. He didn't bite me of course, but...he scratched me. It was just to scare me, I knew they wouldn't truly turn me into a werewolf, but sometimes I wonder...if I had moved my neck, ya know? It wasn't just the physical scares they left me either. I was locked in the dungeon for a while..."

The room was silent as Draco was thrown into the past.

"I'm sorry," Harry whispered. Draco could hear Harry, but his body was miles away. He was back in the dungeon, his wrists digging into the shackles. If he held his breath he could still hear  _him_  coming down the hall.

"It's not your fault," he grunted, but still couldn't face him. His hands were shaking as he still felt the tremor of the Cruciatus curse. He had to focus on breathing to bring himself back to earth.

"Really though, it is. You could have turned me in, Draco. And you didn't. I'll be forever grateful for that. This just proves though, that the scars on your chest are all  _mine_."

Draco's eyebrows furrowed together and he turned to face Harry. He had to really focus on breathing now.

"Were you even listening?" He snarled annoyed, "I just explained. Fenir Greyback did this not you!"

But, he was pushed back into the bed and Harry was busy leaving trails of kissing to his chest. Draco's mind was being pulled back to the present and his hands were shaking for an entirely different reason.

"You got these because of me. I take that on my shoulders as well. I told you that, Draco. Even the deaths not made by my hand, I feel responsible for. And so I am responsible for these as well."

Draco rolled his eyes.

"Stupid Gryffindor pride."

But, as Harry attacked Draco's chest with kisses, he didn't mind too much.

Harry stopped at kissing Draco's chest, which left him whimpering, but Harry's stomach was growling. He coaxed Draco into eating some turkey and then they took turns drinking out of the bottles.

It didn't take long till the first bottle was gone and they were onto the next. Draco was a mess of incoherent thoughts and giggles. It turned out he wasn't the best at handling his alcohol.

"So Cho Chang was y-you're first kiss?" Draco said laughing.

"Yeah," Harry's face heated up and he couldn't help the disgust that shown on his face, "It was quite unpleasant and awkward."

"I bet."

Suddenly, Draco jolted to a start and Harry subconsciously gripped his wand closer expecting to spin around and see danger.

Instead though, a thought had just accorded to Draco that left him cackling.

"My first kiss was with the Great Harry Potter!"

Harry bit his lip. Staring at this Draco, the one with a grin so wide and his blonde hair slightly falling over his face, made him forget about the past Draco, the one who was (to put it lightly) an asshole. This Draco was gorgeous and so carefree. It seemed strange to Harry to think that this Draco had been trapped inside Malfoy all along.

"Can you believe it? I can't wait to tell my grandkids, I snogged Harry Potter." He really laughed at that, it made Harry smile. He wished Draco could be this happy all the time. But, he knew he'd never be like that without alcohol. He supposed that's why he drank in the first place, to feel happy.

"You want kids?" Harry asked curiously and taking a small sip, he didn't want to drink as much as Draco—he wanted to be able to remember this carefree Draco for the rest of his life.

"Just one. A boy preferably. Named something cool. Like a constellation. Did you know my name is a constellation, Harry? Yes, it is. It's quite cool I think."

He lazily threw an arm over Harry and pressed himself against him.

"D'ya want kids?"

Harry shifted uneasy at the question. He didn't really know.

"Doesn't matter," he shrugged, "I can't now...being gay and all." He sighed and took a bigger swing of the drink.

Draco pulled back as if he'd just been burned. His happiness seemed to have faded.

"Sometimes..." He trailed off and Harry gave him a timid look. "Sometimes...I...I feel like I know who I am...that I am gay... but then you say things like that, and I think, no...that's not me." His thoughts seemed to be a jumbled up pile of nonsense, but Harry understood and gave him a small smile.

"Gay is just one part of the sexuality spectrum. You can be anywhere on it. There isn't one answer for everyone. In fact it'd be better if people didn't focus so hard on labeling everything."

Harry meant what he said and had hoped it would help Draco, but it seemed to go right over his head and he was already focused on something else.

"Can you imagine, this getting out? Us, hidden away, in the room of requirement?" Draco was laughing again. "Imagine telling 11 year old us!"

Harry shook his head amused. "Eleven year old me would be far too confused on what the room of requirement was to even comprehend what we might be up to in there."

Draco inched closer and pushed a hand through Harry's hair.

"Honest, your hair is a mess, but it is... _merlin_...it's hot. Please never cut it."

Harry laughed wholeheartedly and ran a hand down Draco's bare chest. "Never."

His hand went to Draco's waistband and he swallowed.

Draco's breathing hitched in anticipation.

"Should I? Should we?" Harry stumbled on the question and his cheeks became redder than Weasley's hair.

Draco nodded and placed a hand on Harry's to encourage him. As his underwear was pulled down and Harry's was as well, the knowledge that they were both stark naked passed through Draco's mind. He let out a loud laugh.

"My father will not be hearing about this," he drunkingly giggled. 


	28. New Experiences

Chapter 28: New Experiences

It was completely overwhelming. Everywhere they touched each other was something new.

"Can we try..." Harry moved so he was more beside Draco and only his hand was left touching his body. "I want to..." He didn't know how to ask it but Draco seemed to understand.

"Yes, oh merlin yes," he moaned before Harry's hand had even reached his prick. He took it into his hand and couldn't believe he was doing this. He slowly pumped it, trying to mimic what he'd normally do to his own (only this wasn't his own and Draco was beside him breathing heavily and letting out deep moans).

Harry used his thumb to wipe the pre-cum off the tip and Draco shuddered underneath grasping the sheet so hard his knuckles turn white.

It was such a new and foreign experience, Draco was finished as soon as they began and then he was eager to show Harry how good it felt. Draco turned to his side so he could see Harry's face a bit better; he wanted to have it memorized for future reference. He grasped Harry's prick firmly. He started pumping slowly, but when he felt Harry arching his back to thrust into his hand he decided to increase his speed.

Harry let out a gasp completely swarmed. This was a thousand times better than all the times he'd done it to himself. Draco seemed to know exactly what to do. As Harry got closer to the edge, Draco adjusted to be directly hovering over Harry. He took his free hand and placed it onto Harry's chest feeling his abs.

Harry couldn't focus on everything touching him at the moment and completely overwhelmed he came, in short gasps of "Draco, yes, mhmm, Draco."

They laid down besides each other panting until, Draco suddenly laughed again.

"I must be wasted. Because now I've also have given the Great Harry Potter a handjob. Best to keep that one to myself though."

Harry could only smile.

-~-

The next morning, Draco woke up still naked and with a raging headache. Although, he was completely plastered last night, the visions of what he did flashed through him and he didn't regret them. In fact, the visions just made him want to do it all over again.

He turned to see Harry was still fast asleep. He wondered if he was a deep sleeper, but decided it didn't matter. Not like he'd mind. This was an experiment after all; he should at least attempt it.

So Draco took his hand and grasped his own prick. The images from last night coursed through him and he couldn't believe how much those visions turned him on compared to what he had been trying.

Draco did try to keep quiet, doing quick movements and even balling his hand into a fist and biting it to keep his moans silent. But, it seems Harry was a very light sleeper, because Draco was just about to reach his climax when Harry was beside him with a twinkle in his eyes.

"I  _knew_  you did your wanking in here."

And before Draco could bit back with an annoyed comment, Harry's hand was on top of Draco's guiding him, and  _merlin_ , did that feel wonderful.

Once done, Harry whispered a cleaning spell and Draco sighed.

"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you."

Harry laughed. "Not the worst way to wake up."

He laid against the bed staring lazily at Draco's body. Draco felt inclined to ask him if he wanted a handjob as well, but it wasn't like it all needed to be equal, not to mention his stomach was growling now.

"Want to go get some breakfast?" Harry suggested although the idea of getting out of the comfy sheets did not sit well in his mind.

Draco nodded already beginning to throw back on his clothes, which made Harry frown. But, what really made his stomach twist was seeing the scars that lined Draco's back. Harry shifted so he could place a hand on Draco's spine. Draco noticeably flinched.

"What are you doing, Potter?" He spat straightening his back and pulling away to pull his shirt on.

"Did you get those scars for the same punishment as the ones on your chest?"

Draco didn't face Harry as he buttoned his shirt, he didn't want Harry to see his shaking hands. He fumbled with the last button.

"No," he huffed while trying his best to put on his green tie despite his legs feeling weak. Every time the Gryffindor asked about his scars, it made him relive them. He hated doing this.

"And before you ask, I'm  _not_  telling you," he growled shoving his feet into his shoes.

He finally faced Harry to find him still entangled in the sheets and his hair looking like a nest on his head.

"Your hair looks bloody awful," Draco rolled his eyes, "Do you  _ever_  brush it?"

Harry gave him a sly smirk which only infuriated Draco more. "Hmm...that wasn't what you were saying last night, Draco."

"Whatever," he spat. His stomach tightened and he spun around deciding to leave the naked boy alone. He didn't need to wait for him anyways; he wasn't the boy's mother.

"Hold up!" Potter shouted. Clearly, Potter thought he was though.

"No thanks," he said while picking up his pace.

As he walked out of the Room of Requirement his vision darkened and he had to place a hand on the wall to steady him. He had been eating less the past couple of days and clearly his body wasn't happy about it.

He sighed pinching the bridge of his nose. His head was pounding. He tried to remember the hangover cure spell, but his mind was foggy.

Suddenly, he saw a flash of red.

"Thank you for waiting," Harry grinned.

Draco scoffed. He opened his mouth with a snarky remark, but realized the situation was not in his favor. Waiting for Harry made him seem weak and so did stopping for a headache, so he decided it was best to just say nothing.

As they walked down the corridor, Draco swayed slightly. His head seemed to be trying to explode. He really wished he could remember the spell. His footing seemed off as well, he kept stumbling over his own feet. Suddenly, he shifted and knocked into Harry gently, nearly falling down.

"Whoa, you alright, Draco?" He placed two hands on Draco's arms which Draco only shook off.

"I'm fine, Potter," he snarled making sure to put emphasis on Potter. He held his head higher and picked up his pace.

"Will you please stop calling me that," Harry sighed while walking as fast as he could; Draco's one stride was currently two of Harry's.

"Why should I? That's your name, isn't it?" The annoyance was seeping into Harry's veins as well. 

"Because, Draco, we're passed this last name crap."

Draco huffed, "No we're not. You don't deserve to call me Draco."

Suddenly, Potter's hand wrapped around Draco's arm and pulled him to a stop.

"Oh yeah? Well you didn't seem to mind when you hand a hand wrapped around my di—"

" _Shut up_ ," Draco's eyes were wide with fear and he looked over Potter's shoulder searching the abandoned corridor for any sign of life.

"And I'm sure it would be quite nice, if you called me Harry while I have mine on yours. Don't you think? Hmm," he whispered into Draco's ear. Draco took a sharp intact of breath. He was both inexplicably annoyed and hard. Potter's hand trailed below and Draco knew if he truly wanted to, he could break away from Potter's grasp. They were out in the open, completely exposed. Anyone could turn the corner now and find the Ex Death Eater Draco Malfoy pinned against the wall with the Great Harry Potter trailing his hand over the dent in his trousers.

"I bet I could get you screaming Harry in no time," Potter purred. Draco's heart stopped beating all together as Potter suddenly grasped his bulge. For a split second, Draco arched his back off the cement wall trying to reach Harry's touch, he needed him closer, he needed more friction. But, then he remembered where they were.

"Fuck off," he said suddenly pushing Potter away with all his force.

He was still hard as ever, but his anger numbed it.

Potter's eyes were wide as he realized just how annoyed he was. "I-I'm sorry," he bite his lip.

But, Draco ignored him and left him alone in the abandoned corridor. 


	29. Dark Mark

Chapter 29: The Dark Mark

Harry stayed in the corridor longer than necessary. He leaned against the wall and placed a hand on his face. He rubbed his eyes from under his glasses trying to think.

His feelings were all over the place and he honestly was just trying to do what he thought Draco wanted, he didn't mean to piss him off. This morning and last night he seemed to only want to be with Harry for sexual experiments, which Harry was fine with, but where was the line? He thought back to the line Hermione talked about. They had been walking the line between love and hate all along, perhaps they still were.

He let out a sigh and leaned his head back. After the previous engagement, he was hard, but his stomach tightened at the thought of how turned on he was. He felt sick. Draco was annoyed by Harry just kissing him.

Harry decided to go back to the Gryffindor tower and skip breakfast.

Despite his better judgments, Draco Malfoy skipped breakfast as well.

Draco dove face first into his bed and welcomed the darkness he succumbed to. His head felt like it was being crushed. Closing his eyes did help, but there was a deep throb underneath his eyelids. His trousers were still tight, but he tried his best to forget. He didn't feel like pleasuring himself when he was so annoyed. He was both turned on by and angry at Harry.

His left forearm burned and he wanted nothing more than to attempt cutting it off again, but they had confiscated his knife and he knew that even if he used his wand it wouldn't work.

Instead he rolled up his sleeve and trailed one fingernail down the skin leaving a red mark in its wake. He stared at how the dark etching looked against his pallid skin. He swallowed as he could feel the memories of his past swarming him.

His father stood in front of him, his wand pointed out.

"The Dark Lord will be here soon," his words sent chills up Draco's spine.

Draco briefly closed his eyes knowing what was coming.

"Remember chin up, do not look at him unless he instructs. This is the day Draco, a proud day, you've made it through all of his tasks, now you must do one final thing. He's going to look inside your mind."

Draco nodded and felt a flash of pain hit his cheek.

"Focus!" His father growled.

"Yes, father."

Lucius stared at his boy his hand still dangerously close to hitting him again; however he knew that if Draco had a mark on his face the Dark Lord would question Draco's ability as a Death Eater. Lucius straightened his back.

"Now remember to keep your mind blank, do not think about your friends at Hogwarts or your enemies."

Draco swallowed and nodded. "Yes, father."

"Good, good."

Suddenly, the door swung open and the snake-like creature walked in.

"Make us proud, Draco," his father hissed as Draco was whisked away.

As he was taken to a new room—one that had been reserved special for the Dark Lord's torturing—Draco could feel his heartbeat everywhere from his chest to his fingertips.

"Mmm, Draco, your father seems to be quite fond of you." He held his tongue from saying, "Really?"

"Yes, my Lord."

"He seems to think you'll prove to be a great Death Eater, like he is. Do you agree?"

Draco was still looking away from him and it seemed nearly painful to do so.

"I do agree, my Lord."

"Hmm. Interesting, because I think your father is a disgrace to Death Eaters."

Suddenly, Draco was overcome with a haze. His mind was foggy and he realized what was happening instantly. He'd been under imperio multiple times now. It wasn't pleasant, but it was nice to be numb for once. He was forced to his knees, harsher than needed (had he still been in control he'd have yelped).

"I want you to remember, my boy, you are below me. And so is your father. At any second that you make the wrong move, you will all be dead. And it will be at your hands. Do you understand?"

Draco didn't get to make the decision to nod his head in agreement, but he did understand. Those words would hang over him for all the days to come.

His mind was finally able to break through the clouds.

"Get up," Voldemort said sounding bored.

Trying to keep his shaking legs hidden, Draco scrambled up.

"Now, look at me, boy."

The slits where Voldemort had eyes, were the most terrifying part of his face, Draco thought. He decided that was why his father was so adamant for him not to look at him there.

He tried his best to keep his mind blank, but Voldemort's powers were much stronger than Snape's had been when he trained him.

Flashes of memories he didn't want to watch broke through.

He saw his mother, giving him a kind smile and an extra chocolate before bed, then his father barging in with anger and cursing him. He felt a surge of anger as Voldemort made all of his bad memories break through his mind.

Voldemort seemed to be searching Draco's mind for something specific though, because suddenly a skew of visions that seemed to last endlessly appeared. There he was taunting Potter and there the Gryffindor was joking at him back. There was the handshake that Potter had denied. And there was bloody Granger and Weasley who had stolen his friendship.

Draco was thrown back against the wall all signs that Voldemort was still in his mind were gone.

He stared down at Draco as he struggled to keep his hands from shaking.

"I see you talk to Mr. Potter a lot, he seems to be in your mind more often than not."

Draco kept his stare down and head high.

"You must choose carefully your words with the boy. Be wise."

"Yes, my Lord."

The haze came back and Draco was forced to his feet. Voldemort stepped forward and tugged his left arm up. He used his wand to cut Draco's shirt open around the forearm. His skin was pale and unscared at that moment, a perfect canvas.

Voldemort gave a sly smile touching a finger down his arm.

"I do want you to realize this, my boy. I would not be doing this had your father not ruined the prophecy. I do not expect you to be able to complete my task. I cannot wait until you fail," he continued to stroke Draco's arm and Draco kept his vision away from anything that might make him collapse, "And when you do fail, I will kill your father, your mother, and then you."

He placed a hand on Draco's chin to force him to look at his face. Draco's legs swayed and he kept his expression blank.

"I will let you bare the Dark Mark, but remember what this signifies."

"Yes, my Lord."

Voldemort raised his wand and pushed it against Draco's left forearm. A searing pain spread through his body starting at his arm and moving to his chest. Draco let out a strangled gasp. He gritted his teeth together trying to keep the pain in, but nevertheless, the tears escaped.

Draco now clutched his left forearm to his chest. It wasn't actually burning anymore, but it felt as if it was. He could still feel it being engraved into him. He could still watch his clear skin being tarnished.

Water filled his eyes and for the first time in a while, he let them escape.


	30. Breakdown

  
Chapter 30: Breakdown

Harry and Draco didn't talk until three days later. Draco had stopped going to the Great Hall to eat and had locked himself in his dormitory. With no way into the Slytherin dorm, Harry was left to fend for himself. He hated being alone in his dormitory. It was far too quiet in the Gryffindor dorms, nearly all the 8th years had gone home and the stranglers that lounged in the common room, he didn't know enough to say hi. They liked to smile at him though.

He was beginning to regret his decision of staying. Not only had he somehow managed to piss Draco off he also was unbearably lonely, his past could surround him easily now. He'd hear just a creak from the wind and he'd jolt up with his wand bracing himself for an attack. He'd always been on edge, but lately the shadows in his room during the dark seemed more and more like Death Eaters in the waiting and put him more on edge.

He wanted to apologize to Draco. But, he didn't know what he was sorry for and he also had no way of contacting him. Every night Harry would look at the Marauder's Map, but Draco's name would always been in the Slytherin's dormitory.

One night, Harry laid awake staring at the ceiling. A death was particularly paining him tonight—Sirius's.

He'd been doing a rather good job at pushing them all away, but tonight he kept seeing the veil and Sirius disappearing into it. He couldn't forget his sunken cheeks and wide eyes; his face that had once been so handsome was broken down by war. And his death had been Harry's fault. If only he hadn't been so foolish to believe Voldemort's mind tricks.

He wrestled with his thoughts all night, tossing and turning. He'd close his eyes just to find himself reliving the memory.

Finally, unable to take it anymore, he dragged himself out of bed and began doing his nightly walk. He hadn't bothered to bring his invisibility cloak, it was break after all. He realized where he needed to go instantly. He climbed the steps up to the West Tower, but he wasn't focused with hope of finding someone up there. In fact he figured Draco Malfoy was still lounging in his dormitory, as he had been the hour before when Harry was looking at the map.

But, on the floor breathing deeply with sobs racking his body was Draco Malfoy.

Something twisted inside of Harry and it took all of his soul not to break down as well at the mere sight. It reminded Harry of another unpleasant memory. He could still see the scared boy in the bathroom, he could still feel the anger, and then he could see the blood and feel the guilt that laid on his shoulders.

He knew he should leave, Malfoy wouldn't be pleased that Harry found him like this after all, but he was rooted in the spot. He wanted to comfort Draco, but he didn't know where to beginning.

Malfoy was staring out at the land watching the few snow flurries fall. He took a deep breath, tears leaving his eyes in a cascade down his cheeks. He hadn't sobbed this hard in a long time, if ever. It wasn't something he was meant to do. Malfoys didn't cry and they most certainly didn't bawl. And here he was, sobbing.

He gripped his legs tighter. He didn't want to cry. He didn't see a point to tears if there wasn't a plan to get something for shedding one or two. But, everything had been crashing down on him the past few days and that seemed all he could do.

A cough rang through the room, and had Draco not already been on edge he probably wouldn't have noticed it. But, this was the exact reason he hadn't been leaving his dorm, he didn't want someone to find him. It could be a fellow Slytherin waiting to beat him to a pulp; instead he met green eyes which was worst. The great Harry Potter had found him.

"Come to laugh, Potter?" Draco scoffed his voice cracking. There was no point to act like he hadn't been crying. The tears still were in his vision and his face was splotchy. Better to face it head on and try to twist it enough to make Harry uncomfortable to leave.

"No, 'course not. Do you...Do you want to talk?" He began walking forward.

Draco shakily got up, clasping his wand tightly.

"I'm just crying over the awful handjob you gave me. It's engraved in my memory. I sure hope the next person to give me one, won't be as bad as you."

He feigned disgust, but it wasn't all a lie. The handjob was engraved in his mind but for an entirely different reason.

Harry Potter decided it best to ignore Draco's complaints. "I wanted to apologize. If I pushed you too far in that hallway, I'm sorry. I'm still confused too, and the emotions I keep having seem to make me act to their own accord."

Draco rolled his eyes. "I don't see a need to accept your apology, but I will if that'll mean you'll  _leave me alone_."

He gritted his teeth and cursed silently to himself as a few tears escaped. Truly he was sick of being left alone. But, how could he tell the great Harry Potter that? Moreover, how could he say how he really truly wanted Harry's presence? In an odd way he was comforting. Not to mention, Draco felt that a handjob would cheer him up quite a bit right now.

Harry took a step forward. He wanted to give Draco a hug, but knew that would only result in a harsh hex.

Suddenly, Draco took a deep breath.

"Well, if you're going to stay, you might as well make yourself useful."

And before Harry could ask what he meant, Draco shoved him against the wall and pressed his lips onto his.

Draco's hand went into Harry's hair pulling slightly and Harry understood instantly. The kiss reminded him a bit of Cho's. He could taste Draco's tears, but for some reason this lit an entire fire in Harry's soul unlike the awkwardness that came from Cho.

Draco suddenly thrusted forward grinding their pelvics together. Harry let out a moan and Draco placed his hand below feeling Harry over his trousers. He grasped the bulge, stroking it over the fabric.

"Do it," Harry grunted, "Get it off."

Draco didn't need to be told twice as he scrambled to unbutton Harry's trousers and all the while he began kissing Harry's neck. Harry couldn't stop the sounds escaping his mouth. He was focused on Draco's hands as they disappeared under his briefs to grasp his prick, and he focused on Draco's lips and teeth as he nibbled right below his ear. If this continued he might just come from nearly absolutely nothing. However, Draco pulled back beginning to unbutton his shirt and allowing Harry to pull down Draco's pants.

It didn't take long for both of them to be naked. The cold air nipped Draco's arse, but he didn't mind (in fact it gave him chills and thrilled him). Harry's bare back against the cold cement wall was leaving his mind abuzz. So many new feelings were surfacing and he didn't know which one he enjoyed more.

Draco was pumping Harry's prick now, but suddenly got down to his knees. He stared up at Harry with his pale grey eyes. Just at the sight of what he was about to do, Harry let out a gasp.

Draco's tongue slowly grazed his length and Harry let out a shuttering breath. He attempted to hold back his hands, but unable to stop himself he placed them in Draco's hair and gave a light pull. To Harry's surprise Draco let out a deep moan. Slowly, Draco took Harry in. It took a great deal of strength for Harry not to automatically thrust as he felt Draco enclose around him. Pre-come leaked out and Draco tasted it on his tongue. He focused first on breathing through his nose, trying not to suffocate. Then he began take Harry deeper. Due to his inexperience, he began gagging rather quickly.

Harry abruptly pulled back removing his hands from Draco's hair, but Draco was quick to take a hand and begin pumping him once again before going back at it, this time only taking the head in.

It was a mere second after Draco began lightly squeezing Harry's balls, that he reached the edge. 

"Draco," Harry moaned pulling the blonde's hair.

Draco came back up with a satisfied smirk, before kissing Harry as he rode his high. As they kissed, one of Harry's hands went to grasp Draco's length giving it short quick pumps. Draco was already so turned on, he came just like that.

Harry gave Draco one last kiss before whispering a cleaning spell.


	31. Punishments

  
Chapter 31: Punishments

Harry conjured a blanket and they put on their briefs so they wouldn't be quite as cold. Draco laid his head on Harry's, hearing his heartbeat put him at ease. Harry kissed the top of Draco's head, before letting out a sigh.

            "You going to explain why you were crying?"

            Draco tightened, building up his walls. "It's none of your business."

            "Well, I'll tell you what brought me up here tonight," Harry took a deep breath not able to believe what he was about to do. He was actually telling Draco Malfoy his deepest thoughts, his nightmares. But, he couldn't stop himself. He wanted to talk and for some reason, Malfoy seemed to be the only one he could tell this too. "I kept seeing, Sirius die..."

            There was a silence before Malfoy spoke. "He was your Godfather, yeah?"

            Harry nodded. "Yes, he was. He died fighting for me. And it was all my fault. If I hadn't believed Voldemort when he was in my head, we wouldn't have gone to the Department of Mysteries, he wouldn't be dead."

            Draco sat up with curiosity.

            "Voldemort in your head? Department of Mysteries?" He sputtered.

            Harry adjusted underneath Draco. "It's hard to explain...but basically at times I could see things Voldemort did and when he realized I could get into his mind he also got into my mind to plant visions and trick me occasionally. Which is what he did with Sirius. I thought he had Sirius at the Department of Mysteries, but really it was all just a ploy for the prophecy."

            Draco's heart dropped. "Yeah...that was when...when my father..." His left forearm began burning and he turned to face away from Harry. He couldn't allow himself to admit that was why he had been tarnished to begin with.

            "He was in charge," Harry scoffed not noticing how Draco's hands were balling into fists, "I'm sure that was a great plan from Voldemort."

            "He went to Azkaban, Potter," he growled pulling back and grabbing his shirt. He didn't feel like being more exposed than needed at the moment, especially as his back prickled in pain. His scars seemed to be on fire now.

            Harry narrowed his eyes; he bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from saying "serves him right".

            "He got out though," Harry muttered.

            "Yeah," Draco sarcastically laughed, "Only to be put back in."

            Draco was up to his feet now grabbing his pants and trying to put them on in a hurry. Harry stayed laying on the ground looking up at him.

            "Which is where he deserves," Harry couldn't help the words leaving his mouth.

            "Which is what I deserve," Draco muttered.

            Harry's heart lurched forward and he went to deny Draco's words, but he kept talking.

            "Do you not think Voldemort's punishment was enough for him? For my family?"

            Harry stared up at him skeptical.

            "I...I—what?"

            "Do you think that when he got back from Azkaban Voldemort welcomed him with open arms? Do you think Malfoy Manor was just chosen because Voldemort loved us all  _so_  much?"

            "No—well I...I never thought much—"

            "The scars on my body. Do you not think that perhaps my father had some of his own? My mother?" Draco was overcome with emotion and he struggled to breathe. "This mark," he roughly pulled up his sleeve, "It was my punishment and reward all at once. I was built to fail. Did you know that, Potter? While you were off saving the world I was trying to save my family and my own skin."

            "Draco—I, never I—"

            "All I went through came from that night my father lost the proohecy. Maybe we do have similarities, Potter. But, you cannot sit there and act like my father deserved the punishment you dished out to him. For if he does, than you should have allowed me to serve it as well."

            Harry was on his feet now, his chest still bare and his abs waiting to be touched, but Draco had his focus on the buttons of his shirt he couldn't get.

            "I should have been put in Azkaban. And I know it. But, I had my punishment. I did. And I deserved it as well. It was an honor."

            Harry stepped forward and Draco's head shot up. "It was an honor to serve at the Dark Lord's side, okay?"

            Harry put his hands up, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "Okay, Draco. But, I haven't said anything. I don't know what you're going on about."

            Draco let out a groan frustrated that the last button wouldn't go in. "I know you judge me, I can feel it every time you look at me. I bet at nights sometimes you dream that you hadn't of testified for me. I bet you wish I was in Azkaban. That I got a better punishment."

            Draco's head was pounding, he couldn't think, everything was crashing down upon him. If he focused just right, he could still see Dumbledore tumbling off the tower.

            "I don't...I don't think that, Draco. You're putting words into my mouth."

            "No you do. I can see it. But, I got a punishment, okay? I did. And my father...he did too."

            The sobs were coming back, and the pain. Draco could see red. Suddenly, he collapsed trying to focus on breathing.

            "He'd curse me...crucio...imperio...everything you could imagine. Okay? I know I deserved Azkaban. But, how much pain till it's over?"

            Harry immediately went to Draco's side placing an arm around him pulling him close. He didn't understand what was happening. He just knew Draco wasn't thinking clearly and his mind was running in circles. And he knew he wanted to be okay again.

            "Draco," he whispered. Draco continued mumbling incoherent self-hate. "Draco, listen to me."

            Draco looked up, tears glistening in his eyes.

            "You didn't have a choice."

            "But—"

            "Your father did wrong things and you got caught in the cross-fire. I'm sorry he went to Azkaban, but I'm only sorry because it hurt you. You saved my life. And you have proven yourself worthy of freedom. That is why I testified for you. And I have never regretted it."

            Instead of responding Draco turned his head into Harry's chest shielding his tears from view.


	32. Overwhelming Notions

Chapter 32: Overwhelming Notions

            "I got the..." Draco's sudden voice made Harry jolt upright. He had slightly dozed off thinking Draco had done the same. He was now leaned against Harry with his hand making circles on Harry's chest. "I got the scars on my back after Dumbledore's death...as a punishment."

            He took a deep breath then pulled back. "I'd appreciate it, if you never told or brought up my episode again. Okay, Potter?"

            Harry stared up at him. "If we are going to be friends, or anything, we need to be open with each other. I want you to know that I kept you from Askaban, because I truly do not think you deserve to go there. And I never regret or hold that over your head."

            Draco's mood was back though and he merely grunted, "Of course you wouldn't, you're Saint Potter."

            Harry sighed. "Please, if we're going to keep doing whatever it is we're doing, 'experimenting' if you want to call it that, than we need to drop this stupid hate act."

            "It's not an act, I actually despise you."

            Harry seemed to have forgotten how to breathe and his lungs collapsed. Draco had just poured his soul to him, but yet he was acting as if he hated him.

            "We can't do this if we hate each other."

            Draco stared at Potter with an incredulous look.

            "You're not telling me you actually like me?"

            Harry's heart pounded. He didn't want to scare Draco away so he tried to keep his voice as unwavering as possible. "I can tolerate you at least. You seem to want to entice me into a fight every chance you get."

            Draco didn't speak; instead he only started getting up. The sun was rising after all; he needed to get back to his dormitory to get some actual sleep. His head was still pounding and his eyes hurt.

            "You know the more I think about it, Draco, it seems that you try to fight with me because you're scared of opening up to me because you may actually get feelings for me."

            "Piss off, Potter," he scoffed at the idea.

            "You know what that would mean? Hmm...That would mean you've probably liked me for years now. We did tease each other for quite a long time. I bet I was in a lot of your thoughts."

            Draco's cheeks tinted pink, from anger he told himself. He thought back to Voldemort.  _I see you talk to Mr. Potter a lot; he seems to be in your mind more often than not._ But, that was only because he hated him so much. Of course enemies would be in each others thoughts all the time.

            "Well, Voldemort was in your mind a lot too. Did you have a crush on  _him_?" Draco raised an eyebrow to add to the affect.

            Potter rolled his eyes. "Obviously, he was literally a part of me. Not to mention it didn't work the same as my thoughts. I'd just see things."

            Something clicked in Draco's mind and curiosity got the best of himself. "D-did you ever see me?"

            Harry stared at him, debating his options. "Yes."

             "Uh huh," Draco's hands shook as he remembered everything he did. The screams still haunted his memories. "W-what did you see?" He grasped his hands tightly.

            Harry swallowed. "I saw you torturing a fellow Death Eater."

"And you see that, yet still believe me to be innocent?"

Harry didn't miss a beat as he spoke, "Yes. Because Voldemort was there and he said that if you didn't do it, you'd be tortured yourself."

"You'd choose that route though."

Harry sighed. "I'm not punishing you over this, don't punish yourself."

"I'm  _not_ , besides, it's not different than you holding the deaths you didn't do on your own shoulders."

            He stopped himself from speaking. Draco was right, of course. No one was blaming him for the deaths besides himself.

            "We both got pretty fucked up from the war, didn't we?"

            Draco was silent for a minute, just staring at Potter. "The sun is rising," he said then he spun on his heal and left the Gryffindor alone.

            His heart was still pounding and he was still bitter at himself for being so vulnerable infront of Potter. He wasn't supposed to do that. He was a Malfoy. And on top of this he couldn't deny his attraction for him. Even while arguing, the fact that Harry laid shirtless so one could see his hipbones poking out could turn him on. And he hated that.

            It wasn't fair, and everything was so overwhelming. He just wanted to be numb. He'd been doing so well, feeling nothing. He could finish the year, settle down with a nice suitable lady, have a child to carry on his name, just as his parents wished for him. He could be numb and it would be so simple. But, now he had a taste of a different life and it was so much harder to shut out his emotions. It was as if Potter had tore down the wall keeping his feelings in and now there was no hope on rebuilding it.

            He realized now that he made a very bad mistake staying at Hogwarts rather than going to the Manor.

-~-

            Harry stayed up at the tower for a while longer thinking. A part of him was hoping Draco would come back and apologize and say that he didn't hate him. How could he hate him, and still do the things they did? Being each other's firsts for everything changed things, didn't it? For Harry they made it more meaningful. But, yet Draco was determined to feel nothing towards Harry besides hatred.

            Once the cold felt like too much, Harry pulled his shirt and trousers on and made his way to the Great Hall. He had hoped the blonde would be there eating breakfast, but evidently he'd gone to his dorm.

            Harry grabbed a piece of toast and went on his way to the Gryffindor tower. He needed to talk to Draco, he knew that. But, he couldn't control how the Slytherin would respond. They could have a semi-calm conversation, but then the next second he'd build up walls and shut him out.

            He decided that the next time he saw him though, they would speak and try to resolve their problems.

            The next day, Harry cornered Draco before lunch which resulted in him a hex that sent Harry flying into a wall.


	33. The Much Needed Discussion

  
Chapter 33: The Much Needed Discussion

            Another day had passed before Harry was finally able to approach Draco again. He seemed more at ease and instead of cornering him, Harry went up to the Slytherin table at dinner (this also made it so if Draco were to hex him again he'd be seen, which meant he was less likely to do so).

            "Draco..."

            Malfoy decided to best to pretend as if Harry wasn't there. He began piling corn onto his plate.

            "Can we talk?"

            Still, Harry got no response. He let out a sigh and starting putting food onto his plate, noting how little Draco was eating and how tense he was.

            "Please—"

            Draco suddenly jolted up abandoning any thought of food.

            "Please, Draco. Just meet me at the tower tonight," Harry pleaded. But, Draco made no movement that he heard or agreed to this statement. In fact he just waltzed out of the Great Hall with no acknowledgement.

            Harry had no way of knowing whether or not Draco would show. In fact, his better judgments were to say that Draco was not going to show. As the minutes ticked by, Harry was quite sure Draco Malfoy was not going to appear.

            It was nearly 1AM, but Harry had not given up hope.

            He leaned against the concrete wall watching the clear night sky. A gust of wind came and Harry pulled the blanket he had conjured up to his chin. He closed his eyes briefly, but jolted up when he heard footsteps. He pulled his wand up ready to hex whoever the intruder was, but a blonde Slytherin stood infront of him.

            "Draco," Harry couldn't stop the grin that appeared.

            "Potter," he nodded, "You said you wanted to talk. So?" He dramatically gestured with his hand feigning annoyance. Truth was his whole body was alive with curiosity.

            "Do you really hate me?" He spoke fast. Draco paused. He wanted to say no, he really did. It was what he had been designed to believe. But, how could he hate the raven hair boy that had saved his life? The boy who could kiss him and start a fire in his body?

            "Not particularly."

            Harry sighed. "Good. Great. Because, I won't let this 'experiment' continue if you don't even like me."

            "For your information, Potter, you aren't the only one who decides whether or not this experiment gets to continue." Draco's grey eyes narrowed.

            "Well, do you want it to stop?" Harry spoke harshly.

            "No." The word fell out of Draco's mouth without a lot of thought. "I still need an answer and so this needs to continue." He huffed.

            Harry rolled his eyes. "Another thing, we need to stop fighting so much. I can't be going back and forth with you. You're either in it, or you aren't."

            Draco's mind immediately went to retort about how awful Potter was being, but stopped himself. He still didn't understand his sexuality. The longer they experimented the better it was for him.

            "Fine."

            Harry looked at him with wide hopeful eyes.

            "So we'll do this? And try to limit the arguing?"

            "Yes, that's what I said, isn't it?"

            Harry felt the annoyance and sighed. He ran a hand through his hair. "Why are you always in such a mood, Draco? It's just me."  
               
"Exactly!" Draco shook his head. His heart was pounding. "It's you, the great Harry Potter!"

            "I'm not 'great'!"

            "Oh whatever. But, you are. You've always been the star and I've never been the star. Okay, Potter? I've always been jealous. You've had the fame and the friends. You've had everything I've always wanted. You even had more of my father's attention than me."

            "Y-you were jealous of me?"

            Draco was taken aback. His eyes were wide. He hadn't meant to say all of that.

            "So is that why you constantly fought with me?"

            Draco stared at Harry. His green eyes seemed to shine in the dark. He bit his tongue holding the truth. "Yes." He lied.

            It was up until recently he thought this, but then he realized it was much more complicated than that. And now he wanted to fight Harry for a new reason, one that was waiting to spill out.

            "You really shouldn't have been jealous of me. Though, I do love my friends, be jealous of that, but the fame is terrible."

            "Yes, I know that now." Draco bit his bottom lip.

            "So then...why fight with me now?"

            Harry looked at him so expediently, it made Draco not want to lie, but he was still lying to himself.

            "It's familiar."

            Harry have a small smile and stepped forward so there was only a foot between them.

            "I get that. Everything seems to be changing now, doesn't it? Nothing is that same. But, our feud...that felt like it could last forever. But, here's the thing, Draco, I don't want it to last forever."

             Harry reached a hand to cup Draco's face and used the other to pull their chests together.

            "Shall we continue this experiment?"

            Draco's heart was pounding. "Yes. But...I don't want to do anything tonight. I just want to..."

            "Just be together?" The way Harry said it sounded more intimate than Draco wanted it to, but that was what he had meant.

            "It's just I haven't been able to sleep...nightmares."

             Harry nodded in agreement with Draco's words. "Yes, let's go back to my dorm. I sleep better with someone else there too."

            And so the two boys fell asleep with Draco laying on Harry's chest breathing deeply in Harry's scent of pine trees and a hint of cheap muggle soap.


	34. True Love Secrets

  
Chapter 34: True Love Scents

            Waking up entangled in another's arms, made the day significantly better Draco Malfoy realized. He felt calmer, almost as if a weight hand be lifted off his shoulders. Although, his heart was still pounding and he was still greatly confused, it was like his mind was clearer.

            Harry ran a hand through Draco's hair enjoying how soft it was.

            "I need to steal your shampoo," he smiled, "Not only does your hair feel nice. It smells amazing like...Hmm..." He leaned forward to sniff. "Like something flowery and sweet."

            Draco pulled back. "I do not smell flowery, Potter," he scoffed. Harry grinned.

            "But, you do. And you smell like a Treacle Tart."

            Draco rolled his eyes, "I believe you are smelling my Occamy Egg Yolk shampoo and the last thing it's meant to smell of is  _Treacle Tart_. I think it smells more of vanilla, myself."

            "Occamy Egg Yolk Shampoo?"

            Draco's cheeks tinted red.

            "You mean the shampoo Gildeory Lockhart invented?!"

            Draco turned his head away. "It's meant to provide lustrous luminous locks, excuse me for liking my hair to not look like the nest on your head! Perhaps you should try it, Potter!"

            Harry could only laugh. "But, Draco...you slick your hair back, why bother?"

            Draco scowled, "I like how it smells, okay?!"

            The Gryffindor leaned forward pulling Draco's head to place a soft kiss on his lips, that left Draco questioning his motives. "Of course, you smell amazing."

-~-

            "You know...it's strange." Harry said still leaning against his headboard of his bed as Draco changed.

            "What is?"

            "Do you remember doing the Amortentia in Potions?"

            Draco straightened his back. Of course he did, after all he had came in and gotten one wiff to realize Slughorn's incapablities as a teacher. Professor Snape would have been able to brew an acceptable potion, Slughorn obviously put in the wrong ingredient. Within seconds he knew that the smell he had was Potter's. It was his undeniable disgusting cologne, he hardly wore it now—thank merlin, it was blimey disgusting. Along with this he faintly could smell the Garden with hints of pine from the Manor and a strong smell of soap.

            There was no way his Amortentia could smell so revolting.

            "Yes, Slughorn was in over his heads for that one. It was a complete failure," Draco scoffed. But, Harry gave him a look of confusion.

            "No, it wasn't. Hermione clearly smelled Ron, and vice versa. And look at them."

            Draco shrugged, "Coincidental."

            "But, listen, I smelled treacle tart, the smell of wood like on a broomstick handle, and something flowery that I thought I had smelled at the Weasley's."

            Draco was too busy pulling on his jeans to understand what he was saying.

            "So of course, I assumed I was smelling Ginny. Around this point I would have gotten the love potion anyways, so it would add up that Ginny would be those smells. But, I'd never thought about it till now. I just assumed it was as you stated, coincidental that she held all the smells. But, now look."

            Harry stared at him expediently, but Draco seemed to have barely understood what he was saying for he was far too concerned with tucking his shirt into his pants.

            "Your shampoo smells flowery and of treacle tart, Draco. And you play Quidditch. It makes a lot more sense now that I've learned I'm gay. I was smelling  _you_." Harry grinned at the thought, but something switch in Draco.

            "The potion wasn't brewed correctly, Potter," he growled.

            "Why? What did you smell?"

            Draco clenched his jaw. "Nothing."

            He had expected Potter to see right through the lie, but interesting enough he didn't.

            "Seriously? But...Draco that would mean you're incapable of love..." Harry was looking at him with such concern in his eyes it almost made it crack. But, how was this experiment meant to continue if Harry was convinced he smelled Draco's scent in the love potion and now Draco knew he had smelled Harry's? He couldn't ruin the experiment.

            "Suppose I am. Makes sense with my family and all," he shrugged.

            And before Harry could make him stay and talk, he'd sauntered out of the room.

-~-

            The day was New Year's Eve, so Harry was determined to at least make sure they met up later that night. Something about Draco not smelling Amortentia, didn't sit right in Harry's stomach, but he didn't know how to approach him without causing a fight. He didn't want to start an argument with him, especially as his feelings began clicking together. Day by day, he seemed to view Draco differently and Hermione was right he was trudging dangerously on the line of hate and love. The thing was, Harry was starting to think that he possibly stepped off of the line a long time ago, but had been in too much denial to believe it himself.

            He was attracted to Draco, there was no sense trying to deny that now. But, his feelings kept twisting and it seemed the Slytherin could say things to get right under Harry's skin and all the way to his heart.

            It finally occurred to Harry, as he was approaching Draco at dinner, that he shouldn't have mentioned the Amortentia. That revealed his feelings in a way that he hadn't even realized yet. The potential of scaring Draco away was growing, but the possibility of Draco getting closer instead seemed more rewarding.

            Besides Harry didn't think he could torture himself being with someone who didn't want to be with him. For now he could stay with hope. If Draco got scared and ran, he could deal with it.

            "Got any New Year's plans?" Harry asked as he sat next to Draco. Draco visibly flinched, startled by another's presence.

            "That depends," Draco said with a sly smile, "Do you?"

            And Harry decided that perhaps Draco was getting closer instead of running.


	35. The End of Break

  
Chapter 35: The End of Break

            The countdown for the new year came and went, but the two boys were a bit preoccupied. They were both currently undressed and Draco's hand had just began pumping Harry's prick. His thumb rubbed over the head and Harry let out a husky moan which stirred something in Draco's stomach. Draco sunk to his knees, raking his nails against Harry's chest as he did so.

            As he slowly took Harry's length in his mouth, Harry's eyes rolled back and his hands went to Draco's hair to tug it. Draco was so turned on just to think Harry was coming to his touch. He pulled back with swollen lips. Harry was still panting.

            "Wait—" he protested, he hadn't climaxed yet, but Draco had other ideas in mind.

            "Wrap your legs around me," he purred. And Harry didn't hesitate from locking his ankles together behind Draco's back.

            Draco let out a moan as their hips rocks together, their erections rubbing against each other.

            "Oh merlin, yes," Harry blurted.

            Draco pinned Harry's wrists over his head to keep him from digging his nails into Draco's back. Although, he did find the movement pleasurable, in the moment he wanted dominance. He thursted against Harry again his cock hitting his entrance, but not penetrating.

            "Fuck, yes, Malfoy."

            The sudden switch in name caused Draco to hesitate.

            "W-what did you say?"

            Harry's eyes flew open in realization. "Shit. I didn't. I don't know why. It felt natural."

            "No you're fine," Draco grunted trying to get back into rhythm, but he seemed to not be as turned on anymore. Harry hadn't called him that in so long, to hear it now made his stomach twist. Despite no longer wanting to, he continued as Harry moaned. He wanted Harry to finish still, so he continued to rock his hips together only with less force.

            Harry let out a last moan and Draco pulled away.

            As Harry rode his high, Draco got dressed.

            "Wait, Draco, you didn't finish," he panted.

            "I did," he lied through gritted teeth.

            He didn't know why it bothered him so much, but he couldn't get out how it sounded in his head. It was like he was no longer the new Draco, but yet the death eater, the enemy. And here Harry was fucking him.

            "You don't need to leave, Draco..."

            "Oh so I'm Draco now?" he huffed still pulling on his shirt.

            "That's what this is about? I'm sorry. It just came out, it felt right." Harry's eyebrows were furrowed in concern, but Draco couldn't stop the anger coursing through him.

            "You don't understand. That name represents my past.  _Malfoy_ ," he said it with disgust, "You haven't called me that in so long. It feels tainted. And yet, you cry it out in bed so carelessly."

            Harry bit his lip. "I don't...I'm truly sorry, Draco. I won't do it again."

            "It's whatever," Draco grunted. He hated how vulnerable he always felt with Harry.

            "Please stay," Harry begged. Draco hesitated. The nightmares were sure to come if he didn't sleep in the same bed as Harry, but his stomach was still twisting and his mind was racing. He couldn't be in the same room as Harry when his emotions were everywhere.

            "Goodnight, Potter."

            And he slammed the door as he left a huffing Harry.

             _That was a pleasant start to a new year_ , Draco thought sarcastically as he laid in his bed.

            He kept replaying the scene in his mind and the more he thought about it, the more sick, but also turned on he became. He realized he actually did quite enjoy the prospect of Harry calling him Malfoy in bed. In fact, the more he thought about it, he enjoyed Harry calling him  _anything_  in bed. And that made him feel terribly sick.

            He wrestled with this knowledge all throughout the night. And the next morning he hardly touched his breakfast because of it.

            Little did he know, Harry Potter had spent the night before unable to sleep as well. His emotions were circling in his head and he couldn't stop them. He kept trying to push them down, but it seemed nearly impossible. Especially as he stared at Draco across the Great Hall during breakfast.

            Harry decided he need to put it all out; it was pointless continuing this charade when clearly he wanted more. He swallowed. He watched Draco get up and leaving the Great Hall. His head was down and his hair was surprisingly a mess.

            If he thought hard enough, he could almost smell Draco's scent. It was so clear now. And surely, it was clear to Draco as well. Harry abandoned his breakfast and approached Draco.

            "Can we talk?" His voice wavered and he bit his lip. Draco squinted unsure. Harry noticed the purple lines under his eyes, Harry was sure he looked just as tired as Draco. After all, he had been up all night picturing this conversation.

            "Sure," Draco grunted.

            Harry didn't hesitate from grasping Draco's hand and pulling him towards the Room of Requirement. About halfway there, Draco recoiled taking his hand out of Harry leaving him bitter.

            Once inside the room, Harry doubted the plan that was in his mind. It might be one of the worse ideas he'd had. But, it needed to be done.

            "So?" Draco rolled his eyes. "I have things to do Harry, class start in two days. What is it?"

            Harry blinked. Staring at him now, it all seemed so clear. It was like he was staring at someone new. He had never realized it before, but people were like art, strange and complicated but beautiful all at once. And the longer you stared the more you could see the beauty. And here Draco was, a piece of art fit for Harry's definition of beauty. Scars riddled his body, but he was in every aspect perfect for the flaws made him so.

"I love you."

The words came out so quickly, but felt so right. They seemed to roll right off his tongue and Harry wanted to scream it off the rooftops.

"Excuse me?" Draco's eyes were wide with fear. That wasn't the point of the experiment. The experiment was  _him_ , not for Harry to figure out he had feelings towards him.

"I love you, Draco."

Draco's whole body tensed. "Don't say that."

"But, I do. I think I've been trying very hard not to for a long time. But, I can't deny it anymore I love you."

Draco began shaking, his vision darkened and his chest caved in.

"You don't know what you're talking about. Love doesn't exist, Potter."

Harry swallowed. He understood Draco's confusion, if what he said earlier about Amortentia was true that meant he didn't know love. He couldn't blame him for not reciprocating his feelings, but he had to understand that he did love Draco. As he said it the more sure he became.

"It does, and I know it, because every time I look at you I fall deeper into it."

Draco's heart was pounding; he was dangerously close to having a heart attack. He clutched his wand and Harry glanced at it.  _Surely, he wouldn't hex me, would he?_  Harry wondered.

"This is over." Harry stepped forward as Draco spoke. In all honesty he didn't know what he wanted from admitting his undying love, but whatever he did what it wasn't that. "Besides remember? I'm incapable of love. This experiment is over." The more Draco spoke the more Harry's heart broke.

"Tomorrow everyone will return to the castle. You better not speak a word of it."  
Harry's eyes began to water; he looked away hoping to shield his pain.

"If it'll hurt you, then I won't tell anyone."

"Good." Draco nodded at his word, but his hands were still shaking and his legs were now numb. 

"I can't do anything to hurt you, because I love you, Draco."

Even though his words sounded sincere, Draco couldn't believe them.

" _Never_  call me, Draco again. You don't deserve too."

The room was spinning for Harry now. Draco turned away from him beginning to leave.

"And  _never_  talk to me again, Potter."

The minute the door was shut Harry let the tears fall and he sunk to his knees.


	36. Comfortably Numb

  
Chapter 36: Comfortably Numb

            Harry Potter roamed the hallways in the night as if he had just risen from the dead again. Only this time, he felt like he was dead. His heart was numb. If Voldemort was still alive, Harry would sacrifice himself, but this time when given the choice to come back or not he'd say no.

            He hated himself for being so daft. What was he thinking? Of course Draco would run. Of course Draco wouldn't share his feelings.

            Did he honestly believe that he could confess his love and Draco would smile then say, "Let's fuck"?

            No. But, the thing was he hadn't thought about it. He only thought about how he  _needed_  to tell him.

            He'd drink, but drinking only reminded him of Draco and he wanted Draco the furtherest thing from his mind.

            As he trudged along the corridors the more he thought about the last time he felt like this. So many weeks ago, when he ran into Draco and properly spoke to him for the first time since the war.

            Why did he tell Draco he loved him?

            He didn't know.

            It had been crossing his mind for a while now, just subtle things. Like how attractive he really thought Draco was, and his smell, merlin his smell, and the way he could talk. His stubbornness and how he could wrap a hand around his length and make him come in seconds.

            It was everything coming down at him at once. He had been so blind and now it was right in front of him.

            All the fighting they had other the years, he had no clue why his body felt like it was on fire afterwards. He always blamed it on anger, but it wasn't ever like the feeling he had taunting Voldemort. It was different. And he understood it now. And he understood why he desired showing off to Draco so much now too. He was always afraid of making a fool of himself in front of Draco, he'd always written it off as him being the enemy, but it was clear as day.

            Hermione was right, she was always right after all, Harry was on the line of love and hate, but he stepped over a long time ago.

            And so why did Harry tell Draco he loved him even if he knew the experiment would end?

            Because, he wanted to give Draco the glasses to see what he saw.

-~-

            Draco Malfoy didn't dare to go out and walk the corridors that night, nor did he venture to the tower. He knew Potter would be out there somewhere. He didn't feel like running into the Gryffindor, not when he knew he was the cause of his sadness.

            He was incredibly angry with the daft Gryffindor. Potter had no right to say he loved him, nor did he know what he was talking about. He couldn't love him. Who could love him? Draco was sure he was just confused.

            He didn't even like himself.

            The boy was delusional.

            Draco tossed and turned. He couldn't figure one reason why Potter would love him. The word felt tainted just thinking about it. Love didn't exist. At least not proper love. There was the love you had to have; the love his parents felt towards him, but it wasn't true love.

            Of course, he found Potter attractive, merlin just thinking about him could get him turned on. The way his glasses slowly fell down his face, the way his green eyes rolled back, his husky voice as he moaned. The deep v-line he had and the dark bush surrounding his length. He couldn't deny he felt attraction towards him. He was past trying to do that.

            The experiment proved that he could be turned on by Harry. His speculation on whether or not he was gay, was still there though. After all, despite the knowledge that Harry was greatly attractive and he was a boy, Draco couldn't think of one other boy he'd like to shag. Sexuality was far too confusing to define, Draco decided. There wasn't a point blank answer that fit everyone; the spectrum was far too wide. It would be better if everyone would care less about labels.

            Yet here he was craving one. He decided he would be fine if he was gay. But, calling himself gay didn't feel right. Neither did straight though. He wanted a label just to know he wasn't the only one feeling this way, that he wasn't alone. He'd been alone all his life. He just wished he didn't have to be for everything.

            The more Draco thought about his attraction towards Potter, the more he began to understand.

            Harry Potter was not in love with him, he was confused. For the more Draco thought, the more he realized what Harry was feeling. It was most certainly lust. He could feel it now. The things they'd done throughout the experiment would of course lead them to developing feelings, but they weren't love, it was lust.

            Nevertheless, if the Gryffindor thought he could be in love with Draco that was enough to run and hide. Clearly, lust could develop into love and Draco was not having that. Even if he were to decide he was gay, it was pointless. He had to marry a woman. And he had to have a child to bare his name. That would be what his parents would want.

            It wasn't like Wizardry families were against gays, it wasn't that his parents were, it was about the legacy. In fact Draco was positive someone on his mother's side was gay. The problem was the fact that Draco was the only child. If he didn't bare a child, it would be the end.

            His parents would not support that.

            So he would marry a woman. And he would be comfortably numb throughout it all.

            But, it would be hard to forget how good it was being with Potter. If he closed his eyes he could feel Harry hovering over him now. He could hear him grunting and throwing his head back in a moan.

            Draco was undeniably turned on now.

            He sighed. He really didn't want to and he tried very hard not to, but his erection was noticeable through his sheets. Not to mention, he knew it would be a nice distraction. So he slowly took his length in his hand. As he pumped he couldn't stop himself from thinking about Harry and his pink lips. If he was here now, Draco was sure Harry would crawl over to him and put those lips somewhere useful.


	37. Sexuality

  
Chapter 37: Sexuality

            Facing two of your best mates that know everything about you and acting as if nothing was wrong, was one of the hardest things Harry Potter had to do upon greeting Ron and Hermione the next day. They were bundled together with a red and gold blanket, Gryffindor colors Hermione laughed. Hermione's stomach had expanded. If he was being honest, Harry had forgotten all about her pregnancy. With all that had been going on between him and Draco, it'd left his mind.

            It was obvious now that Hermione's stomach had grown, and as people glanced over Hermione's cheeks tinted pink. She didn't appreciate this much attention. It was still hard to tell if she was just bloated or pregnant, but either way Hermione felt judged.

            "So, Harry, how was your holidays?" Hermione asked as they walked down the corridors.

            His heart pounded and he worried his two friends could see it all. His hands shook and he swallowed to keep his voice from cracking.

            "Good, bit quiet without everyone."

            Hermione nodded. "It wasn't at the burrow," she commented and Ron gave a laugh.

            "It never is," Harry smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes.

            Ginny caught up to them and Harry found it hard to look at her. He didn't hate her, but the whole thing still felt unbearably uncomfortable.

            "C-could we talk?" She was paler than usual and she seemed skinnier as well. Harry decided a talk was needed for both of them, so he allowed her to drag him somewhere private.

            Surprisingly, she took him to the West Tower. He didn't like being up there with her, it was as if it was him and Draco's spot. He shouldn't be bringing others up here.

            "I'm sorry, about everything." Her bottom lip trembled and her eyes watered. "Truly, I am. I can't undo what I've done, but I hope you can forgive me. I was blinded by love and jealousy. If I could undo it, I would."

            Harry placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "It's okay, Gin. I forgive you."

            She looked up at him, a single tear falling down her cheek. Harry understood being blinded by love now, everything he'd done felt as if he was acting out of emotion. He couldn't fathom how Draco could not believe love existed. Just Harry being alive was enough proof that it did.

            "I want you to know that I'm done pinning after you."

            Harry gave a small nod.

            "You don't have to worry about it. And..." She stopped herself suddenly. "And...I want to tell you this, because I know the word will get out. But, over the holidays, I came out. I'm bi."

            Harry's eyes widened with shock and his eyebrows furrowed with confusion.

            "I just wanted to tell you, because if I started dating a girl I didn't want you to think anything—"

            "Oh no, of course—I um." It was on the tip of his tongue. He wanted to say, I'm gay! He wanted to shout it out loud and tell Ginny it's fine and that he understood. And he wanted to ask her how she did it and how it felt to come out. All of these questions and more were in his mouth, he wanted to let it all out, but his stomach twisted.

            "And I just figured better to just tell you instead of you hearing about it. Besides Ron will probably bring it up at some point, or Hermione—we spoke a lot about it over break, she really helped me." She gave a small smile.

            "No. Er. Yes. Yeah. That's great, Gin."

            Harry flushed and Ginny gave a small laugh.

            "I can tell I've made you uncomfortable, I'm sorry. I just wanted to tell you that and let you know that I will not be trying to 'make you fall in love with me', or something silly again." She took a step back putting more distance between us. "Have a good school year, Harry." She said before turning and going down the steps.

            Harry stood up at the tower clutching the railing and trying to breathe properly again. He was glad that Ginny got the courage to say such a simple word, but for some reason he found it so hard for himself to do so. And as he stood up at the tower all he could think was Draco and he could nearly feel him beside him now.

            Harry didn't leave that tower, until he was certain the tears were gone.

            "Didn't know Ginny was bisexual," Harry commented in the common room later that night. Harry, Hermione, and Ron were the only ones still up and were now lounging on the couch in front of the fire place. Hermione was leaning against Ron and Harry was on the floor staring up at them.

            Ron gave a soft chuckle. "Bit awkward at first."

            Hermione just smiled, "When I said, 'aren't we all?' at the table, I think everyone flipped."

"Everyone but George! Who was ecstatic because 'finally someone could relate'" Ron responded. "Who'd a thought, half my family is bi?" He laughed wholeheartedly.

"Besides, Charlie, who promptly said 'I don't know what you're all on about' then went on to discuss dragons." Hermione added.

It was in Harry's mouth ready to fall out. It was a perfect opportunity. Hermione already knew, now Ron could find out. They were already on the discussion of sexuality after all, so it could be casual and not a big deal.

But, as soon as the moment was there, it was gone.

"Are you bi though Hermione? You never specifically said."

Hermione flushed nearly as red as Weasley's hair. "I don't like to label. But, I won't deny girls are beautiful. But, I think everyone is beautiful." She shrugged and Ron gave her a soft kiss before laughing.

"So can we have a threesome now?"

"Ronald!" She shouted hitting him playfully and Harry groaned.

"Please have the discussion elsewhere."

            Ron threw his hands up in defense. "Kidding!"

            A moment of silence passed before he said, "I'm as straight as can be though, so honestly didn't have a clue what you all were going on about. I can't even fathom the idea of kissing a man."

            Harry's heart tightened. He knew it was coming, and he was both ready and not ready. Ron was going to wait for Harry to agree with him, but how could he agree when just the thought of Draco's mouth still turned him on? And now, here he was thinking about Draco when that hadn't been on his mind all day. He had been so distracted with Ginny's news and Hermione and Ron had been talking on and on. But, now the blonde was back. And something deep in his chest was gnawing at him.

            Hermione glanced at Harry, probably waiting for him to casually say, "I don't know. I think kissing a man would be nice." But, Harry's mouth was dry and his tongue felt too large at the moment. Even saying one word felt impossible.

            "Harry what—" Ron began.

            "Oh my, look at the time!" Hermione gasped pointing at the clock that said midnight. "We've got classes tomorrow, we really ought to get to bed. We don't want to be cranky for Potions at 8AM." She jolted up and grabbed Ron's hand to pull him up as well.

            Hermione sent Harry a knowing look and he could only give her a small smile in return.

            "Okay, okay," Ron said as she began dragging him away from the common room.

            Harry stayed lying on the floor a bit longer. He watched the flames of the fire reach up and wave.

            All he could see was Draco.


	38. The Hypocrite

  
Chapter 38:  The Hypocrite

            Harry hated living like this, harboring a secret. It was like he was living two separate lives: one where he was a straight bloke who was still slightly heartbroken over Ginny and so he couldn't eat his hashbrowns at breakfast and the other where he was completely gay and in love with Draco Malfoy and couldn't get the idea of shagging him out of his mind. He could hardly even eat a bite of toast that morning.

            "Nervous about your Potions essay?" Hermione asked as she noticed his lack of appetite.

            "Something like that," Harry muttered.

            Ron was going on about a new broomstick that had just been released and normally Harry would love to be in a conversation about Quidditch, but at the moment he couldn't care less.

            Draco had been doing a good job avoiding Harry for the past two weeks. Harry had been walking the corridors at night hoping he'd appear. He kept checking the Maurader's Map but he never left his room. And during Potions he no longer sat in his usual seat that had made it so easy for Harry to turn and look at him over his shoulder. Now Draco sat in the back with Pansy and Goyle constantly leaning forward to block his view. Draco was always the first one out with his two mates surrounding him. He was never alone anymore and Harry didn't put that up to coincidence.

            Draco truly didn't want to talk to Harry, but that couldn't stop Harry from wanting to talk to him. Not to mention, the more distance Draco put the more Harry longed for just a glance.

            Harry had been staring at the back of the blondes head all breakfast. He was sure he could feel his eyes, but yet Draco wouldn't turn and look. Pansy sat in front of him glancing over constantly at Harry though. She mouthed something to Draco and Harry watched Draco's shoulders tense up. Then suddenly, he got up leaving the Great Hall— _alone_.

            For the first time in two weeks, Draco Malfoy was doing something  _alone_.

            Harry saw his chance and jolted up. Hermione stared at him with furrowed eyebrows and Ron asked, "What are you doing?"

            But, Harry ignored him. Draco was  _alone_. And if he didn't hurry he'd lose him.

            Just as Harry made it out of the Great Hall, he saw Draco turn the corner.

            "Draco wait!" The Slytherin didn't even pause in his steps.

            Harry groaned and rolled his eyes before taking off in a sprint.

            He met up with Draco quite easily, but couldn't get a response.

            "Draco, listen!" Harry's voice cracked. His lungs collapsed and still Draco kept walking. Overcome with angry Harry reached forward and grabbed Draco's arm. He pinned him against the wall keeping him from escaping.

            "Let me talk, Draco."

            "I told you not to call me that, Potter!" He spat the words out with so much venom it made Harry's heart break, but still he pressed on.

            "You don't have to have feelings for me, merlin, you don't even need to like me. But, we can continue the experiment. If you'd like. If you can just tolerate me, that's fine. I'm fine with that.  _Please_."

            Draco's eyes narrowed as he stared right at Harry. "Get your hands off me, you disgusting fag."

            Harry jolted back as if he got burned. Then the sentence hit his mind, Harry pulled his wand up towards Draco as he still stood plastered to the wall.

            "How dare you...how  _dare_  you!"

            Harry wanted to hex him, he wanted to even use crucio on him, but he couldn't. He couldn't hurt Draco.

            "You were the one wanting to kiss me!" He sputtered. His heart pounded and the world seemed to be spinning.

            "Actually, I do believe you kissed me first. So if you would please excuse me Potter, I'd like to leave before your gayness wears off on me." The menace in his tone made Harry wanted to collapse, but the anger he held kept him upright.

            "Fuck you, Malfoy." 

            Draco flinched from the name, but quickly recovered. "I know you'd like to Potter, but unfortunately I'm not on the market for blokes or for the matter blokes with scars on their foreheads."

            And with that he turned on his heal.

            "Whatever, Malfoy, I know for a fact you still wank off to the memory of us together every night."

            Draco momentarily lost his footing, because that had been too true. He quickly recovered and kept walking as if Harry hadn't said anything.

            Draco didn't know why he had said all those things. He just wanted Harry to leave and he'd rather Harry hate him than love him.

            The thought that he had called Harry a fag on top of everything else made him feel sick. His stomach twisted and he knew he couldn't go to Potions today, not when in the corner of his eye he'd be able to see Harry.

            He went back to the Slytherin dorm finding it hard to breathe. It felt as if his chest was caving in. He climbed into his bed but found himself antsy. He stood up walking back and forth. His vision darkened and his left arm prickled in pain. He wanted to scream and do nothing at the same time.

             _Draco Malfoy the Ex-Death Eater._

            He rolled up his sleeve to drag his fingernail against the Dark Mark, staring at the red marks against his skin.

             _Draco Malfoy the Hypocrite_.

            He let out a strangled breath.

             _Draco Malfoy the Fag._

"No. No. No. No," He whispered pulling at his hair, "NO!"

            He didn't see anything wrong with being gay. He truly didn't. But, yet here he was angry with himself.

             _Draco Malfoy getting turned on by Harry Potter._

_A disgrace to his family._

"Shut up! SHUT UP!  _SHUT UP!_ "

            But, no one was there. It was only him and his thoughts. And even if he told his thoughts to be quiet, they could never leave. He wanted his demons to be gone, but they could never truly disappear.

            "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you."

            Draco sunk to the floor pulling his knees to his chest. As he closed his eyes all he could see was the heartbroken expression of Harry Potter and then he saw the flash of another image.

            "I love you, Draco," how kind those words had been said and how sincere.

            But, how wrong.

            No one could love Draco, he was sure of it.

            Waves of pain went through the Slytherin and he took great gulps of air to try and calm himself. But, he was in a storm of emotions and every time he thought he was calming down another clap of thunder would hit.


	39. Self-Loathing

  
Chapter 39: Self-Loathing

            As Harry walked into Potions he immediately saw that Draco wasn't there. Harry hated that Draco could be so mean to him, but still make his heart pound. He truly hated the things Draco had said, but yet he couldn't shake his feelings. He loved Draco. And he knew Draco was gay, that was obvious after all of what they'd done. But, could he actually  _like_  Harry?

            Harry didn't know.

            He'd like to think someone couldn't do all they'd done with each other and still hate the person. But, with Draco he didn't know. Not to mention Draco didn't know what love was. He didn't even think it existed. Which meant, he'd never felt it. Could he even be capable of loving Harry? And if he wasn't, could Harry live with that if he were to convince Draco to continue the experiment?

            This was too much to have in his brain during a Potions class, for when Professor Slughorn turned and asked Harry a question, Harry could only gape at him. Ron nudged Harry, before whispering Harry the answer.

            "Gillyweed, sir."

            "Ah yes, correct my dear Potter. 10 points to Gryffindor!"

            Harry knew that had Malfoy been here, the two years ago Malfoy, he would have sputtered and declared how unfair that was since 'clearly Potter had cheated!'. The thought nearly made Harry smile.  _Nearly_.

            After Potions, Harry told Hermione and Ron he was skipping lunch to take a much needed nap before they had to go to Transfiguration. They both shared a suspicious look before saying okay. Harry ended up spending his lunch period laying in his bed and staring up at the ceiling.

            He didn't have an appetite anymore. In fact he hadn't had an appetite that past couple of weeks. It was slowly getting smaller and smaller. His tolerance for pain seemed to be getting smaller as well. Just the other day he had ran into a door and although Ron acted as if it should have killed him, he felt completely nothing. And then this morning when he took a sip of coffee that was still steaming, it didn't do anything but make his taste buds feel weird.

            Potter was discovering he was more than numb, he was nothing. The only time he had truly felt the past two weeks was anger and the brief arousal he felt while pinning Draco against the wall.

            He wondered how long it would take till he could feel again. He supposed it was better to feel nothing than to feel the pain from heart break.

            It took three days till Harry felt something again. He had given up on sleep, the bags under his eyes were growing and as always his hair was a mess, but more so than usual. He'd became numb. But, occasionally he felt that shot of pain through his heart or he couldn't breathe. It was like he'd fallen into a hole and once in a while he'd want to climb out, but dirt would just pile on top of him.

            What made his heart pound finally was a very simple occurrence, one that would have made him angry had this been his past self.

            It was breakfast. Lately Draco had been sitting in a new spot, one making it nearly impossible for Harry to catch his eye. But, today he had decided to sit on the other side of the table, meaning all he had to do was look up and see Harry.

            And so, as Harry was reaching for a piece of toast he glanced up and caught the eyes of the blonde. They both froze. It was the first time they had acknowledged each other since Draco had called Harry a fag. The thought still made both of their stomachs twist. Draco wanted to apologize, but he also knew not to apologize. Malfoys didn't apologize and neither did he.

            Harry gave Draco a small and weak smile. Harry's green orbs begged Draco to come up and speak to him. He just wanted this whole avoiding each other phase to pass. But, Draco clenched his jaw and promptly turned his body towards Pansy.

            Harry's stomach tightened and the toast he had in his hand dropped out of it for his grip had failed.

            "You alright, Harry?" Hermione asked giving him a look of concern.

            "Yes," he swallowed.

            "Your hands are shaking!" She exclaimed. And they were, Harry quickly hid them by placing them on his lap.

            "I'm fine," he nodded with his words. But, he realized Hermione was not going to drop it and now Ron was also looking at him with a quizzical expression. So he stood up deciding to abandon his food.

            As he was living the Great Hall, he was stopped again.

            "You okay, Harry?" A soothing voice asked. He turned to face Luna who was sitting next to Ginny at the Gryffindor table. He envied their inter-house unity. If only he could have that with a Slytherin.

            "Yes," he grunted.

            "Well, if you ever need to talk, I'm here," she gave him a smile.

            "Thanks, Luna..." Harry scanned the Great Hall easily finding the blonde who was still conversing with Pansy, "I'll keep that in mind."

            And then Harry dashed out of there safely without getting stopped by anyone else.

            It didn't take long for Hermione to confront Harry. It was later that night. The common room was abandoned and Hermione asked Ron to leave her and Harry alone. They shared a goodnight kiss, which Harry hardly noticed due to him staring at the fire.

            "Harry," she began tentatively, "I know you're not okay."

            There was a brief silence and Harry decided it best to let her say her bit so then he could go back to self-loathing.

            "I know you haven't came out yet...Is that part of it?'

            Harry took a deep breath. "I feel in love..."

            Hermione paused debating. "Is it—"

            "Yes."

            "Oh."

            She came to sit with Harry on the floor.

            "Over break we hooked up and...well, I just realized all the feelings I have for him."

            "And he—"

            "I'd rather not discuss it, Hermione."

            Hermione bit her lip. "Yes, well. If you'd ever like to talk, I'm here. You know that right, Harry? And so is Ron."

            Harry gave a curt nod. Hermione let out a sigh before laying her head on Harry's shoulder.

            They didn't speak again that night until Harry finally bid Hermione goodnight.


	40. Storm Offs

  
Chapter 40: Storm Offs

            If possible, Harry looked worse the next morning. He hadn't even bothered to try and tame his hair. He sat closer to Luna at breakfast hoping his friends would leave him alone. However, Hermione and Ron settled in front of him.

            "New location?" Ron asked while glancing at Ginny who was only one person down.

            "Not for that reason, Ron," Harry grumbled. It was harder to see Draco now. Harry would have to really crane his neck, he'd hoped that would stop them from locking eyes again.

            "Oh, well. Okay. I'm just saying, if you were to go out again I'd be okay," Ron sputtered his face flushing.

            "Ronald! Clearly he said no," Hermione huffed.

            He threw his hands up in defense. "I'm just saying! Whenever you want to start dating again, that's okay."

            Harry gave a weak chuckle. "Thanks, Ron."

            Suddenly Luna quipped up, "Are you feeling better, Harry? After all that's been going on, I am quite surprised you are even in the Great Hall."

            "I'm fine," Harry's body was the exact opposite of fine. Not to mention he didn't even bother putting food on his plate this morning to even attempt eating.

            "What do you mean all that's going on?" Ron asked Luna then looked at Harry.

            "Nothing's going on," Harry sighed. And that was the problem for Harry. Nothing was happening and that made something tighten in his stomach.

            "Well isn't it obvious?" Luna said with big eyes.

            Something clicked in Harry that Luna knew much more than he had assumed. And by the second Harry realized he needed to tell her to keep her mouth shut she was talking.

            "Draco and Harry hooked up."

            A sudden silence appeared amongst the small section of the Gryffindor table. Ron let out a squeak, Hermione widened her eyes looking slightly betrayed at Harry, and Ginny choked on the pumpkin juice she was drinking.

            "W-what?" Ron was really pale now.

            Harry's heart pounded, he tried to debate his options. He could lie, but everyone knew that although Luna seemed crazy there was always truth to her words.

            "Oh, I'm sorry," Luna said, "I thought you knew. I mean he locked eyes with Draco the other day and had to leave. And before, over break, they weren't so angry at each other anymore, it was a shift of emotions." Luna turned her bright eyes to Harry as Ron tried to catch his breathing, he was turning an awful shade of purple now and Hermione was trying to calm him down. "I truly am sorry Harry. I hadn't realized you didn't tell them, they are your best mates after all."

            Harry didn't know what to say. So he didn't say anything, he jolted up and dashed out so fast he didn't even notice a particular Slytherin staring at him.

-~-

            "You know I think Potter wins for stomping at out of the Great Hall the most," Draco muttered.

            Pansy laughed. "Such a shame, I knew you were gunning for that spot."

            Draco could almost smile at that comment, but then she kept talking.

            "So are we back to you talking about Potter again 24/7? Only this time with the knowledge that you  _do_  have a crush on him?"

            Draco turned a brilliant shade of Weasley red.

            "I told you to keep quiet about that, Pansy," he growled. "I was drunk and I  _don't_  have a crush on him. I told you, I just find him attractive."

            It was a lack of judgment, Draco found out, to ask Pansy to spend a night drinking with him again. But, he'd just felt so awful lately, he needed something to help him feel numb. Unfortunately, he found that drinking now made him spew out all of his feelings towards Harry Potter.

            "Fine, you don't have a crush on him. You're just deeply infatuated about him."

            Draco rolled his eyes. " _Am not_."

            "Oh please, Draco. The way you described his cock, I'm not surprised you like him!"

            Draco choked on the bit of bacon he'd been eating at that statement.

            "Will you shut up?!" His eyes were wide and he scanned the table in fear of someone listening. The only one to notice was Blaise and he seemed to only look up due to Draco's outburst.

            Pansy was really laughing now. "Oh, Draco," she sighed, "Trust me, it won't come to any Slytherin's surprise that you like Potter's cock."

             "For the love of merlin, please be quiet! I am never drinking with you again!" He grumbled trying to focus on eating.

            If he was being honest, having Pansy talk so casually about Potter made his feelings feel lighter. It didn't feel like they were pressing down on him anymore. He decided he could be turned on by Harry Potter and perhaps it wouldn't be such a bad thing, he especially decided this when Pansy said that she thought he was very attractive ("something about his sex hair" she said, which made Draco's stomach twist because  _he_  should be the only one thinking about Harry's hair after sex).

"Really though..." Draco said looking at the spot where Harry left open at the Gryffindor table. Granger and Weasley were over there bickering and Weasley was both extremely pale and extremely angry. "What do you think happened to make him storm out? His two mates are annoyed as well."

Pansy glanced up and shrugged. "Dunno. You going to eat your sausage?"

Draco narrowed his eyes. "There's unlimited sausage right there, Pans!"

She took it off of his plate anyways with an evil glint in her eyes. "Oh please, we all know you'd take Potter's sausage in a heartbeat." She lowered her voice, "Oh wait, you already have."

Draco had never regretted anything more than telling Pansy about how turned on he got from Potter.

-~-

Harry took off his Gryffindor tie in frustration. He decided he'd hide in the dorm rooms all day. He was doing fine in all his classes already, he could make due with a day off.

He let out a sigh and sat on his bed. He had been so daft. How couldn't he notice Luna constantly watching? Merlin, she was even one of the few 8th years that stayed. He'd been so blind not to realize. He took a deep breath.

It never crossed Harry's mind that Ron would also be willing to skip Potions to talk to him. And so when he came into the dormitory it startled Harry to a sitting position.

"How dare you not tell me?" He growled. "I'm your best mate and you couldn't even tell me you're—you're—"

"Gay?" Harry supplied. The word still felt weird coming out of his mouth.

"Yes, and that you hooked up with Draco. For merlin's sake, you told Hermione over me! And I'm your best mate! You're like my brother, Harry."

Ron flushed and let out an exasperated sigh. But, something struck a cord at Harry.

"You're right Ron, I should have told you. Just like you should have told me about Hermione's pregnancy."

Ron stared at him with wide eyes. "You—what?"

"I'm your best mate, yeah? But, you couldn't even bother to tell me that huge news!"

Ron's jaw clenched. "How did you find out?"

            "It's a bit obvious now, but Hermione felt to tell me. Clearly she's a better friend than you." Harry huffed.

            "You knew? And you didn't congratulate me?"

            Harry rolled his eyes. "You didn't tell me! I was waiting for you to share the news yourself, but when you didn't I figured you didn't want me to know!"

            "Well I guess were even then!" Ron said sarcastically.

            "Oh yes, we are."

            "Only we aren't! Because you've been lying to me for nearly 18 years!"

            "Oh sod off, Weasley. You met me when we were 11 so that means 7 years and you think I've known I was gay for 7 years?! It didn't fully cross my mind but for the past couple of months!"

             Ron swayed a little, but was overcome with anger again. "Whatever, I hope you and Malfoy live happily together."

            And Harry was so angry he couldn't deny it. "Oh we will, because an annoying git named Ron won't be interfering in our lives!"

Too angry to respond, Ron turned around and slammed the door.


	41. Rumors

  
Chapter 41: Rumors

            Rumors spread quickly like wildfire, even if they are whisperings from a Gryffindor table to Hufflepuff to Ravenclaw to Slytherin. Once a rumor reached Slytherins, it was highly exaggerated, but all rumors begin with a shred of truth.

            And this one was: Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter were madly in love and did you know they had matching tattoos? Draco had covered the Dark Mark with a giant HP and Harry had covered his scar with DM.

            "Now that's ridiculous!" Draco rolled his eyes as Pansy told him the new rumor and explained what this muggle-contraption tattoo was, "Do people even  _think_  when they create such ludicrous rumors. Like just look at his bloody forehead, obviously there's no ta-too."

            "Okay but are you?" Pansy asked with a twinkle in her eye.

            "Are you what?" Draco huffed as he flipped a page in his library book.

            "Madly in love with Harry Potter?"

            Draco sighed, but something swelled in his stomach at the thought and his cheeks tinted pink.

            "No. But, I think he does think he loves me."

            Pansy squeaked. "You didn't tell me that bit, Malfoy!"

            "Yes, well. I told you we had stopped our experiment and it was because he confessed he loved me. I didn't see it fit to continue when clearly he is delusional and I can never reciprocate his feelings."

            Pansy stared at him with wide eyes. "So you're telling me, Draco Lucius Malfoy, that you had an opportunity to be with the man of your dreams forever but you let it go away because you were afraid of hurting him because you don't 'love' him?"

             Draco furrowed his eyebrows together, "Well...I wouldn't use those exact words. But, yeah, sure."

            She let out a laugh. "Oh, my dear Draco. How blind you are."

            "What?"

            "That  _is_  love, when you put someone else's feelings over yours."

            "I am  _not_  in love with him," Draco scoffed. But, he spent the remaining time studying thinking about Pansy's words.

            He could hear Potter in the back of his head:  _I can't do anything to hurt you, because I love you, Draco._

            "Have you seen Potter today, anyways?" Draco tried to make his voice sound casual.

            "No. I haven't. Why? Trying to get to him and confess your feelings before the rumors do?"

            Draco flushed. "I do not love him. And  _no_. I hardly think the rumor will faze him. He'd have enough of those throughout the years."

            She threw her head back in a laugh. "Yes, you made sure of that!"  
               
Draco turned even redder at the thought. "I hadn't meant to, Pans! Remember. I just wanted his attention!" He sighed.

            "Obviously, because you're madly and deeply in love with him."

            "No. I. Am. Not." He said through gritted teeth.

            "You're blushing," she said poking one of Draco's red cheeks, "You never blush."

            "Sod off, Parkinson."

            She really laughed at that. "Sorry, Mr. Grumpypants. I need to call Potter to get you laid again."

            But, Draco only sighed because if he was being honest, he really wanted to shag Harry Potter.

-~-

            Harry had gone to the Room of Requirement to escape. Not only was Ron constantly shooting him daggers, someone had overheard about his hook up with Draco and now everyone believed they were in love and something about matching tattoos. It was ridiculous, but what was more ridiculous was the part that was true. And also all the pats on the back of people congratulating him. Dean had even walked up to him with Seamus who was redder than Harry ever thought possible as Dean briefly suggested they could all meet up one night and talk, Draco included of course. Harry had an overwhelming feeling that Dean wasn't suggesting that they just talk. Harry had awkwardly laughed and said, "no thanks".

            He let out a breath as he finally stepped into the Room of Requirement. There was a pleasant smell of treacle tart, but unfortunately that only reminded Harry of Draco. There was a nice comfy bed though and Harry was looking forward to some semi-not restless sleep.

            He laid in the bed already feeling comfortable when the door suddenly flew open and a bushy brunette stood in front of Harry with a hand on her hip.

            "What on earth are you doing, Harry?"

            Harry leaned further into the cushions. "Sleeping," he mumbled.

            "Uh. No. You need to apologize to Ron."

            "Why should I?" Harry rolled his eyes at his friend.

            "Because, he's upset."

             "Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's upset, because I didn't tell him I'm gay. Whatever."

            Hermione stepped forward and yanked the covers off of Harry.

            "It's that, but also he's being completely idiotic and is upset you're dating Draco," she sighed.

            Harry looked away at that. "I'm not dating, Draco. Like I said earlier, he doesn't like me back."

            Hermione let a small, "Oh", escape her lips.

"Be sure to rely that information to Ron. I'm sure he'll get a kick out my misery."

Hermione gave Harry a weak smile. "Harry, honestly, just talk to him. This whole argument is nonsense."

             Harry turned on his sides pulling the covers back over him. "I will...after I sleep."

Hermione let out a lot and exasperated sigh, before finally leaving Harry be. Only Harry couldn't sleep, because now all he could do was see Draco.

-~-

            Draco wrestled that night through restless sleep thinking about his feelings towards Harry Potter. He didn't love him, Draco decided.

            He couldn't even fathom the idea of loving him.

            Sure he wanted his attention. Sure Harry Potter was attractive, maybe even funny at times, and the way his eyes lit up made Draco sick to the stomach. And just thinking of Harry in the moonlight shirtless, abs ready to caress made Draco's mouth water.

            But, that was just hormones.

            And sure, he didn't really want Harry to hurt, so that was why he had to run away. Harry in pain pained him.

             _Bloody hell_ , Draco Malfoy thought when he realized,  _I am in love with him_.


	42. Hiding The Truth

Chapter 42: Hiding the Truth

Immediately, Draco Malfoy wanted to cleanse his brain. Was there a way to delete thoughts and feelings? His brain quickly retorted the obliviate spell, but he dismissed the idea.

_How dare he fall in love with the great Harry Potter?_

Not to mention, this caused a greater dilemma.

Sure, Harry was convinced he was in love with Draco, but who could ever love Draco the ex Death Eater?

And even so, Harry had so many other choices out there.  _Hell_ , Draco thought,  _even she-weasel would be better than me_.

But, now Draco was stuck with the realization that he did in fact love Harry Potter. He always had. It was so obvious the more he thought about it. How heartbroken had he been when Harry rejected his handshake? He cried for days afterwards, until Goyle caught him and, being the idiot he was, told Draco's Mother. Of course, he never told anyone why he was crying, but Narcissa wrote back and in the letter said: if anyone ever bullies you always remember your family and the power we hold.

That was when Draco decided to adopt: My father will hear about this!

Truth was, Draco wasn't sure his father ever did hear about it. Because every time he brought up Potter or any other complaints, Lucius would put a hand to his temple and let out a sigh before saying: "Draco, if it's not going to affect the wizarding world, I don't care."

Which Draco never thought was very fair, because everything that happened to him  _would_  affect the wizarding world.

Draco thought about all the teasing and time he spent desperately trying to get Potter's attention for even just a second. And the feeling of jealousy that coursed through him when he found out he was dating that she-weasel, he had told himself he was merely jealous because Potter gained yet another person in his life while he had no one.

It had all been so simple when he had buried his feelings deep down. All he had to feel was bitterness and numbness. After all, it didn't make sense to him. Sure, boys got crushes on boys, it wasn't a big deal, but  _he_   _didn't_. So, to look back and see that he in fact  _did_ , made him sick to the stomach.

What would his father say?

In all honesty, Draco was pretty sure his parents both already knew. The way they treated him whenever they spoke about Potter or when Draco brought Potter up, was always guarded. Draco always figured it was because Potter was his mortal enemy, but perhaps they could even see through Draco's own blindside. And then there was Lord Voldemort who even seemed to know.

_Bloody hell_ , Draco thought again. How was he the only one in the dark from his own feelings?

Draco let out a sigh and realized this did complicate things a lot. Because now the rumor was halfway true, all that was left were some tattoos and then it would be sealed.

And this complicated things even more, because now he felt more on guard. He couldn't let the truth be known, not when he still didn't feel like he was good enough for Harry.

So he needed to forget the truth. He needed to become numb.

And that was why Draco snuck over to Blaise's bed, stole a large amount of alcohol, and went to the West Tower.

-~-

The next morning, after casting a Tempus and realizing it was rather much later in the morning than he normally woke up, Harry crawled out of bed and made his way to the Great Hall. He had wanted to find Ron and talk to him not in the views of everyone else, but he didn't have much of a choice now if he wanted to talk before they went to History of Magic.

Harry walked into the Great Hall feeling all eyes on him out of habit he glanced over at the Slytherin table—a certain blonde was missing. A part of Harry was relived; he certainly didn't feel like facing him after the rumors had exploded, but he also was curious as to why Draco wasn't at breakfast. Harry figured he wasn't too pleased with the rumor and decided it best to avoid Harry more. The thought made Harry's chest cave in, but he had to push those feelings temporarily aside, for Ron was one of the ones looking at Harry. Only he was giving Harry a harsh glare.

Harry approached Ron cautiously waiting for him to hex him.

"Hi," his voice was soft.

Ron kept his face forward at Hermione. "'mione did you hear something? Strange, I wonder if Nearly Headless Nick is around."

Harry sighed, "Ron can we talk?"

"Hmmm...Do you hear something Hermione? Because I certainly hear nothing. Because if it was my ex-best mate Harry, he'd know to  _leave_   _me_   _alone_."

Hermione gave Harry a kind smile and Harry was sure Ron was giving Hermione a piercing look, but she didn't flinch.

"Well seeing as Ron can't hear anything, I might as well gush about how bloody wonderful my evening was with Malfoy last night," as he spoke Harry's face flushed and he internally groaned because he wished it was the truth. But, he was only doing so because he knew Ron would get reeled up. He settled into the seat next to Ron and leaned forwards towards Hermione, who also was turning red despite knowing that Harry's words were completely false.

"You won't believe it. He suggested we switch positions up a bit, and my goodness the way his coc—"

"DON'T YOU DARE SAY ANOTHER WORD HARRY POTTER!"

Harry turned to his best mate who was now turning green and looked as if he was going to throw up.

Harry couldn't help but chuckle.

"You think this is funny do you?! What if I hadn't told you I was having some secret affair with Neville?"

Neville perked up at this and flushed a deep red. "Or Dean?"

Dean winked and said, "You wish, Weasley!" Which only made Ron even more annoyed.

"I'm not mad that you're gay, Harry. I'm not even that mad that you and Malfoy are dating. I'm mad because you're my best mate and we're supposed to tell each other things like this."

"Oh, like how you told me about Hermione?"

Ron tinted red at that while muttering, "It's not my fault that she told you she was pregnant first."

"Not that!  _Merlin_. You didn't even tell me you guys had kissed at first! I had to walk in on you two in the dormitory to find out! I don't mind of course, so I never mentioned it. But, then you two went out to Hogsmeade and not only did you not invite me, but you didn't tell me it was a date. And the next day you came back holding hands. But, did I get mad because you didn't tell me you two were together? No!" He huffed. "And do you want to know why I wasn't mad? Because I know how you two are. I knew you guys were both in love and so it didn't come as much as a shock!"

Ron clenched his fists at this. "So it's my fault now, is it? I should have known you were gay? I'm sorry I don't assume everyone is gay!" He growled.

Harry rolled his eyes. "You assume everyone is straight though!" 

Ron stopped at that and clearly Harry had been right.

"You just assumed I was straight. I could have been bi, you know? But, you didn't even think!"

"T-that's despite the point. Honest. I just. Harry, I don't care if you're bi, straight, or gay. It just would have been nice not to have been left out." Ron's voice wavered and he looked away. "I've always been left out and it just would be nice to be included."

Harry swallowed and realized an apology was needed.

"I'm sorry, Ron. And..." He paused. He already knew everyone was listening in and it should probably be a good thing to break the rumors. But, for some reason he liked the idea of everyone thinking he was shagging Draco Malfoy. "Draco and I aren't dating. He doesn't even like me like that. I may like him. But, clearly the feelings weren't mutual, so we parted ways."

The Great Hall which had been silent up until now erupted in a flush of whispers and Harry had a horrifying thought that he just told everyone he liked Draco Malfoy—creating an entirely new and entirely true rumor. 


	43. House Unity

Chapter 43: House-Unity

"Have you heard?"

"Merlin, Pansy, if it's another rumor, I don't care. Besides my head is killing me," Draco groaned barely lifting his head off the library table. When dawn came he had dragged himself there thinking he wouldn't be bothered. Now he knew he should have gone to the Room of Requirement.

Pansy said a quick hangover spell and then sat next to Draco with a smile.

"Okay then, I won't tell you."

"Thank you," Draco sighed. But, then suddenly it seemed very fishy, because Pansy never gave up that easily. In fact she normally kept speaking.

"Wait. What is the rumor?" Draco sputtered thinking it was another one about him and Harry, only this time perhaps it was more exaggerated. Maybe this time there was a rumor that they'd been caught shagging in a Potions closet. The idea made something tighten in Draco's stomach so he quickly pushed the image out of his mind.

"Oh, I thought you didn't want to know Draco." She smirked.

He huffed. "I don't."

"Okay, then I won't tell you all about how Harry Potter has the biggest crush on you and was found crying in the girls bathroom because you don't share feelings."

Draco sat up, "Crying? Is he okay?"

Pansy's eyes twinkled. "I added that bit myself. I thought the rumor needed a bit more flare."

"Wait. Pans. How many have you told?"

"Just the whole Slytherin table. Oh I wish I could see Harry's face, by the time it gets back to him the rumor will probably be that Moaning Myrtle was comforting him! Can you imagine?" She laughed at that. "Moaning Myrtle comforting anyone!"

Draco flushed. "Yeah, what a sight," he mumbled.

"Really though, he likes you. I don't understand why you don't just go up to him and snog him to death."

Draco rolled his eyes. "I couldn't snog him to death if I wanted to, he's the Boy Who Lived Twice after all."

Pansy took a shift in mood and tensed her body. "You don't think that's really true, do you? That he died?"

Draco's eyebrows furrowed and he stared at her. He wanted to say: of course my mother told me all about it. But, the thing was, his mother had only mentioned it offhandedly. The true reason was because of Potter. "Well he's saying it, so of course I believe it. When has he ever lied?"

Pansy grinned at this. "Hmm...He's never lied Draco? So...Do you know what that means?"

Draco gave her a confused look. She let out a frustrated to groan. "Honest, you're impossible, Draco! Do I need to spell it out? He said he loved you! And he never lies so clearly he knows what he's talking about."

Draco's heart pounded. "That doesn't count," he grumbled. "He's delusional. He  _thinks_  he loves me, so of course it's not a lie to him. But, it's not accurate."

Pansy sighed. "I cannot deal with you and your dumb infatuation any longer. I give up! You can mope all you want and let the love your life run away with a redhead."

Draco didn't even bother to deny that Harry was the love of his life. Instead he quickly said, "He's with that she-weasel again?!"

Pansy only rolled her eyes.

-~-

Draco wasn't at lunch either, Harry quickly noted. He now worried that Draco really was avoiding him because of the newest rumor, especially because the newest rumor somehow included that he was having an affair with Moaning Myrtle. Harry really didn't understand how that would made sense, but he supposed it was probably uncomfortable for Draco to have everyone say he was in love with Harry. Harry could only imagine the hexes he sent towards anyone who brought it up. It nearly made Harry laugh.

"You better, Harry?" Luna asked settling into the seat beside him. Ginny took the seat to the left of Luna.

Harry swallowed he had been meaning to save that for Ron.

"Yeah, I suppose so, why?"

"We heard about the rumor," Ginny said with a chuckle, "How's Moaning Myrtle's kiss?"

Harry ran a hand through his hair and gave an awkward smile.

"I don't believe it of course," Luna said, "But, your partnership could be a turning point for ghosts everywhere. Think of it, it could be front cover of the Quibbler." She grinned at Harry.

"Sorry, Luna. It's not true," he felt very uncomfortable, especially as he saw Ron walk in. He scouted over a bit, holding his breathe. They hadn't talked much in History of Magic and he wasn't sure if Ron was still holding a grudge. However, Ron promptly sat next to Harry squeezing in between him and Neville.

"Oh, I can scoot down," Luna piped up, squashing Ginny in the process. Harry could only assume that having your leg brush against another all throughout lunch was quite unpleasant, although Luna was smiling the whole time.

"Hello, Harry," Hermione said returning from her History of Muggles class. She smiled at Ron and Harry rolled his eyes.

"Just kiss him, 'mione. I don't mind."

She flushed but quickly leaned over, nearly putting her hand in the mashed potatoes in the process, and gave Ron a kiss.

Once they both settled down, Harry bit his lip.

"Have...have either of you seen Malfoy?" His face was as red as Weasel's hair as he spoke.

Ron chuckled and shook his head. Hermione glanced behind her to see that indeed the seat was empty.

"I believe Pansy said that he was going to the library."

"Pansy?" Ron rose his eyebrows.

"Yes, I ran into her as I was leaving History of Muggles."

"I still think this whole house unity thing is stupid," Ron grumbled. It pained Ron more so, because this meant all of their classes were filled with at least three houses and Harry and Ron couldn't always be partners and neither could he be partners with Hermione. This left him nearly always being a partner with a Ravenclaw and for some reason he found himself constantly irritated by their presences.

("It's like having another Hermione!" He groaned one day after Potions, "Only less attractive!"

"Ronald!" Hermione had said slapping his arm. "House-unity is good! Besides you're stereotyping. Ravenclaws aren't just all about brains, as you know." She crossed her arms. "I think they're a fun bunch. And so are the Hufflepuffs."

Ron paled at the mention of that house. "Oh please, Ronald," Hermione said, "You would love Hufflepuffs if you gave them a chance."

"Bloody likely I would!" )

Since then Ron had, had two Hufflepuffs partners and turned out to like them. One of them even gave him a piece of chocolate and Ron had marveled to Harry afterwards because  _Harry, you don't get it, I didn't even_ ask _for a piece, he just gave it to me!_

He also found himself rather fond of one of the Ravenclaws, because he was quite knowledgeable about Quidditch.

None of this changed the fact that being split from his friends made him irritable though.

"It's not that bad," Harry shrugged.

Ron turned to him. "That's because you're still holding out, hoping that Slughorn will partner you with Malfoy."

Harry's hard pounded and he let out a soft chuckle. "Well—I mean. Nearly everyone has been partnered with him! Hermione has, even you!"

"Yeah, and I got poisoned!"

Hermione narrowed her eyes. "Ron. The potion was supposed to make you grow warts. It's called the Verruca Cressco deriving from the early 17th century."

"They had puss!"

She let out a sigh. "Once again Ron, it was meant to! If you had listened, Professor Slughorn clearly said don't touch them and wait to take the curing potion."

"I still have scars," Ron grumbled. And Harry could only give a lighthearted laugh, because at the mention of scars all he could think about were the ones lining Draco's chest and back.  


	44. The Problem

Chapter 44: The Problem

Draco was debating how long he could go avoiding Harry. He'd been doing a wonderful job, even skipping Transfiguration at the end of the day. But, morning was Potions, and he loved Potions.

Draco puzzled over this that dinner as he ate at a library table alone. Pansy had shown up, but he quickly hexed her away saying he needed time to think. She rolled her eyes, but said okay after being hit by a stinging jinx on her arm.

He picked up a roll moving it in his hands deep in thought. He loved Harry Potter. Just thinking about it made his heart pound and his breathing hitch. He could never imagine actually telling anyone, let alone Potter. But, it was constantly on his mind. How long until someone guessed it? And then if they were to guess it, Harry would get it in his mind that they could be together.

Only Draco was trying to remember why that was such a bad thing.

_Right, because no one could ever like me,_  his mind reminded him.

He grumbled sitting the roll down and replacing it with an apple.

The problem was he didn't know how he could hide it. Granted he had spent 8 years hiding it from himself. But, that was because he had been squashing all his feelings away.

He thought through his night before. He had nearly accidentally thrown himself off the ledge that night all because he thought a shadow was Harry. He probably needed a drinking buddy if he were to attempt that again.

He took a bite of his apple and ate it begrudgingly. For some reason even an apple could remind him of Harry, all because it was red.

Once he was done eating he gathered his things and made way to the Slytherin dorm to find Pansy.

-~-

"Malfoy isn't at dinner..." Harry muttered trying his best to hide his worry, but his friends weren't that daft.

"I'm sure he's eating and is fine. Just look, Pansy's holding her arm, which means he's well enough to still send hexes."

But, that didn't really re-assure Harry. After all the last time he didn't eat he ended up passing out. Harry swallowed at the thought.

"Do you actually like that annoying git?" Ron groaned taking some green beans and putting them on his plate.

"Unfortunately," Harry sighed.

"But, why?" Ron moaned, "He's a—well—he's an annoying git!"

Harry laughed. "Yeah...he is."

Harry glanced at the Slytherin table out of habit. He hadn't expected to lock eyes with anyone, but Pansy was already staring at him with a knowing look. Harry's eyes widened and he quickly looked away feeling his face heat up.

"I think I'll call it an early night," Harry said and before his friends could protest he got up and went to the Gryffindor tower. And for once he actually tried to get some sleep.

-~-

Draco found Pansy after dinner lounging on the Slytherin tower, her feet laid over Blaise's lap and they were sharing sexual innuendos and Slytherin puns. Draco figured that was why she had stopped telling him so many, she had finally found someone who enjoyed them as much as her.

He figured this was as good of a time to ask as any with both of them there.

"Would you guys like to drink tonight? You know...to help with the nightmares?" He tried his best to look in pain, but the nightmares weren't anything compared to his love for Harry Potter that seemed to only be growing with the distance.

Pansy shook her head. "I'm quitting. Trying to go clean."

Draco stared at her. "Can't you quit another night?"

She rolled her eyes. "I've been sober for a week now, I'm not risking it."

Draco turned his gaze to Blaise. "You?"

"I'll supply, but it's strange, I don't have that much left. I think it's best if I sit this one out."

" _Seriously_?" He groaned.

Pansy's sly smile appeared which only meant trouble. "Why do you need us to drink with you so badly?"

"Oh please, you were the one who said to never drink alone," he huffed.

Pansy shrugged. "I think poor Dracipoo is scared to drink alone. What do you think, Blaise?"

He laughed, "I think so too, Pans."

And no way was Draco going to add this to the things he was a coward about so he said simply, "Can I have the alcohol, or not?"

Which Blaise quickly jumped up happy to give Draco two bottles of whiskey.

"Heads up though," Blaise whispered, "More paroles are happening so be safe, lots of Slytherin 8th years."

Draco rolled his eyes, "Clearly, I can take care of myself. Thank you for the concern though." Nothing about how he spoke suggested he was actually thankful.

Draco took the bottles and promptly hid them under his bed. He waited until it was past curfew and everyone was asleep to finally venture out.

He did take Blaise's words to heart though and he listened carefully to the corridor for any footsteps or voices, it seemed he was alone though. He successfully made it to the West Tower.

As he looked out on the land and felt the cold wind on the air, he actually felt at peace. That was until he thought about how much better it'd be if a certain raven-haired boy was with him.

He turned around and sat on the floor leaning against the cold wall. He opened the first bottle, taking his time to drink it. But, it seemed everywhere he could see was Harry. There Harry was clutching the railing too tight, it was making his knuckles turn white and Draco just wanted to put his hands onto his to make him stop. Then there was Harry against the wall, his pale chest out for everyone to see, he was breathing irregularly due to the fact that Draco was most certainly on his knees. Then there was Harry running a nervous hand through his hair and confessing his love.

Draco really wanted to say it back.

And so he finished the other bottle.

His brain was a stew of emotions. He felt angry at himself. Mainly for being so daft about his feelings. Then he felt the unbearable turmoil of loving Harry Potter. For merlin's sake, he had already nearly died a million times! It was like Draco was asking to get broken. He could already see the string of accidents the boy would get into, then Draco would have to deal with the pain of reminding himself, in the end Harry would be okay (after all he was always okay). Then there was the heartbreak because how could Harry ever love him?

Somehow his body made the choice before his brain did. He had to know, why did Potter love him out of all people?

He clumsily walked down the steps and down the corridor. Nearly running into a suit of armor twice, he didn't understand how it kept getting in his way. At first he thought it was following him, then he realized he had been walking the same hallway for twenty minutes. He gave a soft chuckle to himself before continuing his journey.

Finally, he made it to the Gryffindor tower. Only it seemed the portrait would not open to "Slytherins are truly superior, so suck it Gryffindor" and it also wouldn't open to "Draco Malfoy needs to get in right now so he can slap Harry Potter and so he can snog Harry Potter". In fact the Fat Lady told him to leave before she woke up the whole of Hogwarts.

But, Malfoy couldn't leave, he was on a mission. So he decided if the portrait wouldn't open for him, he'd just stay until it opened for someone else.

Draco found a comfier spot on the floor and collapsed. It was quite nice in this part of the castle, warmer almost. Or perhaps he could just feel Harry's presence.

Draco heard movement and he popped one eye open to see a shadow of a person. And he couldn't believe it, Harry was here!

But, Harry was wearing a Slytherin tie, which was very odd because last time Draco checked he hadn't shagged Potter yet and he still had his tie on.

As Harry approached, Draco had a sickening realization that the person was not Harry and The Person Not Harry was not alone.

-~-

It was nearly midnight when Harry woke up. His head hurt and the front of his temple was pounding. At first he had a fear that his scar was also prickling, but thankfully it wasn't. He let out a sigh and adjusted in his bed to grab his glasses. He casted a Tempus to see that he had in fact already slept five hours, that alone had already been the most he had slept in a long time. No wonder his body woke him up.

Now far too awake he casted a Lumos and grabbed the Marauder's map with curiosity. He wondered what his fellow Hogwarts students were up to. He noticed a far more names out and about than usual.  _Patrols must be tightening up_ , he thought.

Then suddenly he noticed Draco's name. But...it was at the Gryffindor tower.

Harry jolted up right. Draco was outside the Gryffindor tower. His heart thudded and he was a mix of wanting to desperately go out there, but he also didn't want to invade Malfoy's privacy. After all, what he did in the dead of night was his own business. But, Harry shook his head, since when did privacy matter? If he didn't want Harry to find him, then he shouldn't be roaming the corridors this late at night.

Harry kept his eyes on the Marauder's map as he flew down the stairs still in his pajamas.

Suddenly, Draco was no longer alone.

Something twisted in Harry's stomach and a part of him feared this was a trap. They were going to lure him out of the tower only to have Draco laugh at his face for having feelings for him.

But, Harry decided he didn't care if Draco laughed at him. He just wanted to see Draco. And so Harry pushed the door portrait open.

Only the sight that greeted him was not what he was expecting. 


	45. Pity Love

Chapter 45: Pity Love

Three Slytherin 8th years were huddled over a pale and bloodied Draco Malfoy, yet they still kept pummeling him with fists. Draco only laid there, as if he had succumbed to their fire.

They looked up with fear when they saw the portrait had opened.

" _Get. Off. Him. Now_." Harry raised his wand and for good measure sent stinging jinxs their way.

They jumped back and began sprinting away. Harry wanted to chase after them, but then he heard a small croak.

"'ello 'arry."

Harry stared down at Draco who was more blood than pale now.

"Fuck, okay. Can you walk?" Harry said trying to help him up.

"Fine. Let go." Draco muttered trying to pull away from Harry and get up by himself, but he immediately collapsed. Harry caught him before he could fall and hit his head.

"We've got to get you to the infirmary," Harry said as he saw the blood gushing from Draco's nose. He knew a couple of healing spells, but not enough to heal everything.

"No. Fine. Let go." Draco said trying to push Harry away again and walk on his own, but Harry only tightened his grip around Draco's waist.

"You're a mess, Draco," Harry shook his head. "Come on."

And he began pulling him to the hospital.

"I hate you," Draco grumbled but that was the exact opposite of his thoughts right now. Actually right now all he could think about was how soft Harry's hair was, and Harry was asking  _him_  for his shampoo? He really wanted Harry's. Merlin, he also smelled really nice. In fact... Draco adjusted leaning more into Harry. He smelled  _really_ ,  _really_  nice.

Harry's chest tightened at those words.

"I know you do, Draco," he sighed. And something pulled at Draco at how Harry had said that. He honestly thought he hated him? Sure they had their fight. But, he didn't hate him, and he also didn't think he had done a good job pretending.

No sense of losing that lie though.

"Good." Draco grunted, only he just wanted to cry out:  _I love you Harry, I love you so, so much. Will you please kiss all of my wounds? There's a lot. And I think there's one a bit low, no lower than that. There you go._

At the thought of the saying all that and the image it provided Draco let a groan.

Harry looked at him worried. "Are you okay, Malfoy?"

The sudden shift in name felt worse than the fists pummeling on him. Draco could only nod his head and grunt.

They made it to the hospital wing and Harry sat Draco as gently as possible on a bed before going to get Madam Pomfrey. Once she was aware of the situation, she raced out saying "oh dearie me" and began performing a series of test.

"Quite a bit of alcohol in your system too," she muttered. "Where did you get that?"

Draco shrugged. "Found it."

She gave him a sharp glare. "Uh huh. And what were you doing up at the Gryffindor tower after hours?"

Harry perked up at this; he wanted an answer as well. Draco kept his stare on Madam Pomfrey as he spoke. "Wandering. Couldn't sleep."

"Mhmm...tsk. Alright I'm going to need you to take your shirt off, Malfoy." She said kindly.

Draco, however, flinched. "I'd rather not." He retorted.

She sent him another piercing glare. "It wasn't a question, shirt off. And Potter, you can go now, though I'm sure Professor McGonagall will want to have a word with you tomorrow morning."

Harry swallowed but nodded. He gave one last glance at Draco to find his body covered in bruises. However, he knew why Draco didn't want to take off his shirt. He didn't want to have to see the scars.

-~-

"There's another damn rumor?" Harry grumbled as Hermione spoke to him at breakfast. She gave him a sad look and nodded.

"Yes, but this one's...kinder." She said with a small smile. Harry rolled his eyes, it should be expected by now. He could hardly remember a time his name wasn't floating around the castle in some way or another.

"Yeah, mate. This one's worse for Malfoy."

"He's included in this?" Harry clutched his fork tighter. He had already spoken to McGonagall. All he could really tell though was that it was three male Slytherin 8th years. It was too dark to see who they were. He had cursed himself for not staring at the Marauder's Map better.

"Yeah..." Hermione looked away glancing at the Slytherin table where Draco was still missing.

"Well what is it? What's the rumor?" Harry grumbled.

"I...uh..." Hermione began but stopped.

"Just spit it out, Hermione."

"Well...People are saying that you don't actually love Draco. But, you rather pity him. And last night..." She stopped suddenly.

He rolled his eyes. "Last night, what?"

"Well they're saying when the Slytherins beat him up, it was because you get off on seeing him abused."

Harry stared at her.

"And you said this one was worse for Draco?"

He dropped his fork, his stomach unsettled.

"This one isn't even ridiculous, it's disgusting! How dare people say shit like that?" Harry pinched the bridge of his nose trying to focus on breathing.

"Well anyone who knows you knows this one is obviously not true." Hermione pointed out. 

Harry let out a long breath. "Of course people won't truly believe the second part," he gulped. "But, the first part? Loving him out of pity? I can see people believing that."

Hermione glanced at him. "You never did tell us why you liked him so much, Harry."

Harry quickly glared at her. "You guys believe it!"

"Well, Harry, come on. It still is a lot to wrap our minds around the fact that you're in love with your enemy." Ron interjected.

"My enemy was Voldemort!" Harry growled, "Not Malfoy!"

He stared at both of them his temper rising out of control.

"I'll see you both at Potions," he said venom lacing his tongue. 


	46. I'd Go To Azkaban For Him

Chapter 46: I'd Go To Azkaban For Him

Draco got out of the infirmary the next day. Thankfully, the 8th years had only managed to cause a significant amount of bruises. Madam Pomfrey couldn't stop going over how lucky he was that he didn't have any broken ribs. Although, he did have a broken nose but that was fixed easily.

McGonagall had a long talk with him again discussing the fact that it was once again Slytherins. However, Draco stuck with what he said before. He knew for a fact if he were to stop sleeping in the Slytherin dormitory for good he'd be hated more, which McGonagall surprised Draco by agreeing to. Besides, Draco thought, he couldn't turn his back on his house. Even if some of them liked to try and pummel him to death.

Draco walked into the Great Hall for breakfast the next day and felt all eyes turn towards him. Pansy had already told him the rumor of course, but he hadn't expected it to still be on everyone's minds.

A Ravenclaw decided to venture up to Draco despite his menacing glare.

"I'm sure you gave Harry a good time. Right?" She laughed. "It's quite a kink. But, we've all got our fair share. Makes sense anyways, the Gryffindor War Hero and all."

Draco stared at her. "It's not true," he gritted his teeth and shoved past the insufferable blonde.

He got to the Slytherin table relatively unscathed, although his house were giving quite a few looks.

"What's their problem?" Draco grumbled.

"They're mad because you let Harry Potter save you..." Pansy muttered.

"Oh." Draco stated simple before swallowing and reaching for a piece of toast.

-~-

"Are people seriously still going on with the rumor? Two girls and three boys have already approached me about their kinks." Harry groaned. "You do not want to know what the Ravenclaws get up to." He eyed the blonde that had just spoken to Draco across the table.

Hermione looked at him perplexed. "Oh, are we talking now?" She folded her arms crossly.

Harry let out a sigh realizing that in his sleep-deprived state he had forgotten to apologize to them.

"Listen, I'm sorry for being so agitated. You know with all that's happening and my feelings, it's been a bit hard. Plus to adjust from the war is hard as well. I keep thinking I'm going to turn the corner and face Voldemort."

Ron gave him a weak pat on the shoulder. "It's fine, mate. I'm sorry too. I really ought to stop finding Malfoy as annoying now that you 'love' him and all." But, even at the word 'love' Ron had a great difficulty choking it out.

Hermione gave a pointed glance to Harry. "You are forgiven. But, don't throw the 'Voldemort pity' towards us. I won't have that. We all went through the war. But, it's fine. I understand. I know all about unrequited love." Hermione gave a weak sigh. "And I'm sorry as well. I should trust your feelings."

"Unrequited love? Are you seriously, talking about Gildory Lockhart?!" Ron paled and Hermione flushed at the memory.

She bit her lip. "Actually, Ron, I was talking about you."

Harry snickered into his hand at the face Ron was making right now. He kept opening and closing his mouth like a fish.

"But, I do love you. And you know I have. I've known since the Yule Ball."

Hermione gave a kind smile, "Yes, but all those years that went by, how was I to know you loved me? So I still had the feelings that Harry did."

"But, that would imply Malfoy also loves Harry?"

Hermione looked past Harry at a figure that was walking towards them. "Perhaps he does."

-~-

"Disgusting, don't you think?" Draco overheard a 5th year at the Slytherin table.

"Disgusting? It's pathetic!"

Draco had half a mind to think they were talking about him, considering they kept glancing at him. But, then they kept talking and Draco really had wished they were talking about him.

"Getting off on someone getting beat up. Pathetic Potter, I think that should be his name now." They shared a high-five laughing.

Draco could only glare. He opened his mouth to give a snarky remark, but Pansy stopped him.

"You know if you say anything, you'll only make it worse."

Draco pulled back, she was correct after all.

"Not hungry anymore," he grunted while standing up. He glanced over at the Gryffindor table to see a very distraught Harry. Something pulled in his stomach. He knew going over there would probably only fuel the rumors, but he didn't care he needed to talk to him.

"Granger, Weasley," he nodded towards Harry's friends. He opened his mouth once again, but realized he didn't really know what to call Harry anymore. Finally, he clenched his jaw. "Potter."

Harry looked up his green eyes looking more prominent under the light of the Great Hall. Draco hadn't been this close to Harry in a long time and now with his feelings known it made his heart pound.

"Hi, Draco," Harry said with an awkward smile.

"Can we talk in private?" Draco spoke through gritted teeth.

Harry gave a nod abandoning his food and following Draco out of the Great Hall. As they walked both of the boys felt the eyes on them, and Harry most certainly heard someone shout, "Get some, Potter!" It made his face turn red, but Draco just kept his head high unphased.

Draco dragged him into an abandoned classroom. There was a heavy silence that followed and a part of Harry thought that Draco might just be luring him in here to kiss him.

"Never try to save me again," Draco grunted.

"Draco, you were getting beat up. I couldn't just let them kill you."

Draco couldn't face Harry now, because all he could think was that he deserved it and if he was dead maybe he wouldn't have all of these conflicting feelings.

"Stupid, Gryffindor pride," he growled.

Harry ran a hand through his hair and shook his head. "I didn't save you because of my 'Gryffindor pride' or because of a 'hero-complex'. I saved you because I care about you. And I'd like to think that you'd do the same for me."

"Well, you think wrong, Potter." But, truly Draco knew if he found anyone beating up Harry he'd murder them. He wouldn't even mind going to Asakban for Harry, he supposed that was what love was.

A sickening thought hit him when he realized that was what his father had done for Voldemort.

Perhaps...going to Askaban didn't always mean love, he decided.

"Why were you at the Gryffindor tower, Malfoy?"

Draco looked away from him, "It doesn't matter."

Now that he was sober he was very glad that the portrait hadn't let him in. A part of him actually did believe Harry only loved him because of pity. That made a lot more sense than him truly loving him.

He pushed past Harry but at the last second he clutched his arm.

"What they're saying," Harry paused unsure, especially because Draco was giving him the death glare, "I don't love you out of pity. I do honestly love you. But, if that scares you I can stick to like. It scares me at times to say it."

"Let go," he grunted pulling his arm lose. "And you don't love me Harry, you're just confused. Go snog the she-weasel or Neville." 


	47. Flirtatious Conversations

Chapter 47: Flirtatious Conversations

Harry couldn't get Draco's words out of his mind. He truly didn't like him. He even hated him probably. Out of pure spite he really did want to snog Ginny right in front of Draco, but he couldn't do that to Ginny. Also Ginny was currently not at dinner, when he asked Ron where she was Ron said she was walking with Luna somewhere. Harry sighed. Then there was Neville, but Harry was pretty sure Neville was still pinning after Luna and to be fair he really didn't want to snog Neville, even in spite of Draco.

And Draco wasn't even at dinner so it wasn't like he'd know.

Harry let out another exasperated sigh.

"What's with you, Harry?" Ron asked.

"Are you still dwelling on what Draco said?" Hermione gave him a small smile.

Harry leaned his head into his hand. He glanced over at the Slytherin table. "Yes," he huffed. "It's just. He told me to go snog someone and so now I'm thinking...maybe I should."

Ron didn't look at Harry or where Harry was looking but he nodded, "I think that's a good idea. Try hooking up with someone to get your mind off things."

But, Hermione did glance over where Harry was looking and immediately shot Harry a look. "Do not do it, Harry. It's not a good idea."

But, Harry had already caught the Slytherin's eye and was giving an awkward wave as his cheeks tinted pink.

"Hermione, it'll be good for him," Ron interjected. But, Hermione groaned.

"It's his best mate, Harry! How would you feel?"

But, Harry stood up already making up his mind. "It doesn't matter how I feel, because Draco and I are two different people. He doesn't love me so it won't matter who I hook up with."

Hermione opened her mouth once again to object, but Harry had already turned around and was waltzing over to the Slytherin table to slide into the seat Draco normally occupied.

"I'm confused," Ron said with furrowed eyebrows, "I thought he was gay? Why is he hooking up with Parkinson?"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Honestly, Ron! He's not hooking up with her, look!"

And Ron looked over his shoulder to see Harry in a conversation with Blaise Zabini with tinted cheeks.

Pansy felt very uncomfortable with Harry sitting next to her and flirting with Blaise. It wasn't like she had feelings for Blaise, but she felt like she was getting there. And she knew that Blaise was openly Pansexual, which meant Harry wasn't going to get turned down just for being a guy.

Pansy sighed, yet another one of his crushes being taken away by Harry Potter.

She understood why Draco hated him for so long.

Deciding she needed to try and break a little of their closeness, after all Harry had just made Blaise laugh and only she could make Blaise laugh, she leaned over between them to grab a roll.

Blaise chuckled. "Pans, you had rolls right in front of you." He nodded his head to the plate.

"Yes, but these seemed better, they're right in front of you," she gave a smile and a wink, but to her horror Blaise didn't even laugh or try to flirt back. Which, was very unlike Blaise.

Pansy slouched and sighed before deciding she really needed to take orders into her own hands. She got up before leaning towards them.

"Well, enjoy your dinner, you two love birds." And then with a grunt she turned around and stomped her way to the library to inform Draco of this mess (surely, he'd want to put a stop to it). 

Harry brushed his leg gently against Blaise's. It felt so wrong to carelessly flirt like this, but it was exciting. He didn't get the same feelings he did from Draco though, far from it. He didn't even get butterflies from Blaise. But, Blaise was cute in a way and it would be nice just to know what it was like to be with someone else.

"So what are your plans for tonight?" Blaise asked with a smile.

"Not really sure," Harry shrugged, "Maybe go to bed and try to get some sleep."

"Mind if I slither in?"

At this comment Harry choked on his pumpkin juice, his cheeks heated up. He wasn't expecting it to be this easy.

"I, er, uh," he stumbled on his words unsure of the correct response.

"Relax," Blaise chuckled nudging Harry gently, "It was just a joke. Although according to the rumors you and Draco have done enough. If you're up for it..." Blaise gave him a smirk. "I am."

Harry's stomach tightened. "I—er—we've—the rumors, weren't true."

Blaise laughed harder now, "Man. I understand why Draco was so obsessed with you, you are adorable."

Harry's whole body felt tingly now, because not only did Blaise say that Draco was obsessed with him, but also apparently he was adorable.

"I—uh, thanks."

Harry was coming to realize flirting was really, really hard.

"Honestly though, if you feel like it I know a couple of abandoned class rooms," he ended the sentence with a wink. Harry looked at him with wide eyes as he realized Blaise was being completely serious.

"I—uh," at first Harry was going to say no, but then he remembered Draco, "Okay. Sure."

Blaise gave him a sly smile. "Well, what time would you like to meet?"

Harry bit his lip. Perhaps flirting was easy, because this was going very smoothly, or perhaps Blaise did believe the rumors and thought Harry was down for any Slytherin. Either way, Harry blurted out midnight, then jumped up because he felt extremely uncomfortable and unsure of what he was getting himself into.

-~-

"Blaise and Harry are eyefucking each other, just thought you'd ought to know," Pansy blurted as soon as she found Draco at a library table. He pulled his eyes off an apple and glanced up.

"He can do as he pleases," Draco said through gritted teeth only he was boiling up with anger.

"Well, I don't agree with it and I think we should put a stop to it," Pansy huffed.

Draco blinked. "You like Blaise?"

Pansy turned an awful shade of red which shocked Draco, because she normally was good at stuffing any feelings down just as he was (or was until he realized he loved Harry Potter).

"Possibly," she said, but everything about her appearance suggested that she definitely did like him. Draco just stared at her, the expression she wore reminded Draco a lot about his feelings.

"W-want to talk about it?" The way the words fell out of Draco's mouth felt forced, because Slytherins did not talking about feelings. They didn't have feelings.

"I'd rather not."

Draco let out a sigh; he didn't know how to help Pansy when he couldn't even help himself.

She took a sit next to Draco and Draco had this overwhelming feeling that she was close to tears, but instead of acknowledging it he took a bit out of his apple.

"So..." Draco began, "Were they just staring at each other or?"

Pansy hesitated. "Well, he came over, sat next to him, and turned him into a blushing laughing daft bimbo. So you tell me."

Draco could feel the jealousy radiating after her.

"Oh," he found it very hard to swallow his own feelings. "Harry's not one to flirt and sleep though. I wouldn't worry about it." But, in that moment Draco wasn't talking to Pansy but rather himself.

And contrary to his hopes, that night Draco watched Blaise sneak out of the Slytherin dormitory. 


	48. A Midnight Kiss

Chapter 48: A Midnight Kiss 

Harry stayed in his bed feeling the minutes tick. Midnight came, but he couldn't get feeling in his legs quite yet so he stayed. He didn't want to stand up Blaise, in fact the prospect of kissing Blaise seemed like an adventure, but he also didn't think he was capable of standing.

It was nearly 12:30 when Harry finally got up and threw his invisibility cloak over him. He didn't particularly want Blaise to know he had it so he slipped it off right before walking into the abandoned History class room Blaise had told him to go to.

Harry was shocked to find Blaise had manage to transfigure a couple of chairs into a bed, it was a tiny bed and would hardly hold the both of them, but it was a bed nonetheless. And Harry had a realization that Blaise was expecting this outcome to be very different. But, Harry decided perhaps different wouldn't be bad.

Blaise had lit one single candle so Harry could hardly see him and if he closed his eyes he could pretend it was Draco. But, as Blaise took his hand, his hand wasn't soft like Draco's, it was rough and it didn't seem to fit quite right in his.

He was pulled to the bed and they both sat awkwardly, knees brushing against each other. Blaise didn't speak as he turned to face Harry with a small smile. Harry didn't even have time to think as Blaise leaned forward and placed his chapped lips against Harry's. The kiss was pleasant. It couldn't compare to Draco's, but it was rather nice. Even when Blaise gently pressed his tongue against Harry's bottom lip and Harry opened his mouth to allow him access.

In fact, it was a very good kiss.

But, Blaise wasn't Draco.

As they kissed Blaise maneuvered his way to be on top of Harry and he pressed a hand between his legs. Out of reflex Harry flinched and pulled back; Blaise did as well but for a different reason. 

In a swift motion Blaise had taken off his shirt. Harry swallowed as he stared at Blaise's chest, it was very toned and with a deep v-line, but it wasn't Draco's. And if he blinked Draco's pale chest could appear clashing with Blaise's dark skin.

"Er," Harry was about to mumble something about needing to go, because the more he thought about Draco in this situation the more he got turned on and the more sick he felt.

But, Blaise only took Harry's hesitation as his innocence. He gave a small chuckle, "I know you haven't done a lot, Harry. Been too busy saving the world. But, don't worry, I know what I'm doing."

And before Harry could think of a respond, Blaise swooped down to give Harry another kiss. As they kissed Blaise grinded against Harry, and it was quite uncomfortable, but Harry knew if he thought of Draco he'd very much enjoy it so he was conflicted.

Blaise let out a groan while thrusting against Harry again, he was clearly enjoying this as Harry could feel his bulge nearly begging to be released.

Blaise pulled back his fingers fumbling with the buttons on Harry's shirt trying to get it off in a hurry. Suddenly, Harry had found his voice though.

"Stop! Please, stop. I can't—I can't do this."

Blaise looked up at Harry immediately stopping from doing anything.

"Did I hurt you? We can switch positions if you want." Blaise had a look of hurt and Harry did feel bad, but he also didn't want to do this.

"No. I just...I thought this would help me, because..."

"You love Draco." Blaise sighed and pulled himself off of him. Harry took a side-ways glance and saw that there was still a rather large dent in his trousers. Harry could only imagine that must be painful. Draco and him had always gotten each other off before it got too bad. But, Blaise was not Draco and he couldn't picture himself helping Blaise that way.

"Sorry," Harry squeaked. He still felt uncomfortable, because now Blaise was lying right next to him shirtless and their shoulders were still touching. And although Harry didn't want to shag him, he couldn't deny Blaise was attractive.

"I thought perhaps this would get my mind off of him. Plus, I know you're one of his best mates." 

Blaise sighed and let out a chuckle. "Yes, well, it's a lack of judgment in my part. I should have known the rumors were partly true."

-~-

The next morning, Draco watched Blaise stumble into the dormitory with his shirt askew. Draco had spent the whole night with a vision of images of what they might be up to. By now he was boiling over in anger.

Draco had skipped breakfast just for the occasion that Blaise would come just like this and he could hex him.

Blaise flew back hitting his elbow on a wall when a strong curse struck him. He let out a painful groan.

"Fuck, Draco. What the hell was that about?"

Draco sent a sneer his wait. "You know exactly what! How was your night? Get lots of sleep?" He growled.

Blaise rolled his eyes.

"We didn't actually shag, Draco. We kissed a bit, I tried to take off his shirt he got uncomfortable and then we just laid together the rest of the night."

Draco let out a grunt, as if he'd believe that.

"You always sleep with your dates."

"If they want to. Harry didn't want to. Besides he said he only wanted to kiss me, because he knew I was one of your best mates."

Draco's anger reappeared. "Oh did he now?"

He clutched his wand tighter and realized if he left now he could catch Potter leaving the Great Hall before going back to the Gryffindor tower to study, or whatever he did on Saturdays.

He found Harry right as he left the Great Hall with Granger and Weasley by his side. He didn't even pause to say hello as he grabbed Harry's arm and forcefully yanked him to the Room of Requirement.

Harry looked the worst he had over the weeks and Draco was both happy by that and upset. He didn't want Harry sad, but he did want him to feel guilty about what he had done.

Draco shoved Harry into the Room of Requirement with as much force as he could. The Room of Requirement had decided to fashion itself as an apartment once again, complete with a comfy bed and a love sofa. But, Draco did not want to see either of those.

"Bloody hell!" Harry gasped rubbing his arm. Draco felt a pinch of regret and wanted to apologize for hurting him, but he remembered why he was here and why he was angry.

"How dare you hook up with Blaise!" Draco growled and was shocked when he saw Harry staggered backwards nearly falling on his arse. He quickly recovered though and brought back with more fire.

"You told me to go snog someone!"

Draco rolled his eyes, "No I said she-weasel or Neville, not my best mate!"

Harry huffed becoming annoyed as well. "But, why do you even care?"

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, YOU DAFT IDIOT!"

The room became silent and Draco realized he had made a great mistake. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact, originally planned to have Blaise essentially rape Harry, but I started writing his character and realized I loved him too much to turn him into a rapist plus it felt hella out of character and so instead this commenced, youre welcome


	49. Not A Malfoy

Chapter 49: Not A Malfoy 

"Y-you love me?" Harry looked towards Draco with hopeful eyes.

Draco's heart pounded and his breathing was caught. "N-no." He stumbled towards the door. "I-I-I didn't say that, I said you were a daft idiot."

His face was turning red and he cursed the creator of Hogwarts that made it so one could not apparate on school grounds. He tried to turn the doorknob but his hands were clammy and shaking too much to do anything.

"Yes, I heard that bit. But, the first part, you said you loved me." Harry was grinning like a madman. He couldn't believe it.

Draco was still blushing and he seemed to find it very hard to breathe. His thoughts were everywhere and as he stared at Harry he didn't want to deny his feelings anymore. He really did love Harry Potter and he was in hell for it.

Draco stepped away from the door and Harry stepped towards him. "Well, my sentence was true. You are a daft idiot." He shrugged.

Harry bit his lip, "So...you love me?"

Draco found it all very odd that Harry didn't believe Draco could love him, when Draco didn't understand why Harry loved him.

Draco kept his eyes on Harry's as he spoke. "Yes."

Harry let out a sigh and nearly collapsed from relief right then and there, but then he remembered. "But, you said you couldn't love? Your Amortentia smelled like nothing?"

Draco rolled his eyes, he had forgotten about that. "Yes, well I lied."

Harry furrowed his eyebrows. "Why?"

Draco gave him a blank look that very clearly said:  _Are you serious right now?_  "Harry...do you remember what you smelled?"

"I smelled you."

"Yes, because you..." The word still felt odd in Draco's mouth. "Love me. And well, I smelled you. So that's why I lied. I didn't want you to know. I honestly didn't think you'd believe I couldn't smell anything though, I thought you would just be annoyed that I didn't tell you." He shrugged.

Harry gave a small nod and suddenly felt very stupid for believing such a lie, perhaps Draco was right he was a daft idiot.

"Why couldn't you just tell me?"

Draco moved closer to Harry as he spoke. "Because...do you know how terrifying it is to love someone? Especially when you don't even know what love is. And then there's me. I'm an ex-death eater, you were supposed to hate me, but yet now you love me? I just don't feel like you deserve me."

Harry and Draco were only a foot a part and Harry quickly took a step to get rid of the space.

"You don't choose who you love, Draco."

"But..." He hesitated, it was against all Malfoy logic to admit his fears, but he decided he wasn't all that interested in being a Malfoy anymore. "But, you could find someone so much better than me, Harry. I'm sure there's a lovely blonde out there in Britain with beautiful abs and no scars and no Dark Mark."

"I don't want someone else though, Draco. I want you."

Draco couldn't help it, tears were forming in his eyes and he very badly wanted to hex Harry away before he could see, but it was too late. Harry looked up at Draco and pressed a hand on his cheek.

"I want you and only you. I love you, Draco."

Draco looked up trying to keep the tears from escaping. He wasn't supposed to do this, he was a Malfoy!

But, he decided he didn't want to be a Malfoy anymore. He wanted to be Draco. And Harry saw him like that.

"I love you, Harry."

And suddenly, it seemed Harry was crying as well. Harry leaned up and pressed his lips against Draco. Harry was very aware of the tears that mixed into the kiss, but it wasn't sloppy and disgusting like Cho's, it was wonderful.

Because he was kissing Draco, and Draco loved him back.

 

The End

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Psyche let's continue this drarry shit.
> 
> I think we all agree this needs more smut.


	50. Let's Continue

**Part 2:** **The Abyss**

Chapter 50: Let's Continue

Harry pulled back hesitantly. "So...does that mean we're continuing the experiment?"

Draco gave a small smirk. "I mean, I think I might need to continue experimenting with loving you."

Harry gave a light chuckle. "I love you."

Draco sighed, he enjoyed hearing those three words.

They shared one last kiss before Draco began pulling Harry over to the bed. As he began taking off Harry's shirt he hesitated jealousy coursing through his veins.

"I've got to ask..." Harry glanced at him. "How far did you and Blaise go? And where?"

Harry's cheeks flushed. "We just kissed a bit and he took off his shirt, but that's all. And at some dusty classroom."

Draco nodded still determined but the thought that less than 24 hours ago Harry had been lying in bed with someone else made his chest cave in.

"It wasn't pleasant, if that helps," Harry said bring his hand to Draco's chin and forcing him up to look at him. "And the only time it was semi-enjoyable I was picturing you."

Draco swallowed and gave a small smile.

"I'll only ever want you, Draco."

Draco looked away, it was strange having someone know your fears. "For now," he mumbled.

Harry moved so Draco was looking at him. "Forever. I only want you, Draco. And that's it."

Draco gave a curt nod, but he found it hard to believe Harry would love him. He supposed he'd try to though. He turned back to the task at hand.

"Ready to experiment?" He said and after Harry nodded Draco began taking off Harry's shirt. Once it had been removed Draco moved his hand along his chest pushing Harry down.

As Draco's hand moved over one of Harry's nipples he shivered. Draco smirked before wondering something to himself. He decided it was work the risk and gave Harry's right nipple a pinch. Draco was shocked to hear Harry release a deep moan.

"Hmmm...I see what gets you off then," Draco said.

And Harry's eyes flew open. "W-what?"

"Well obviously the rumor was ridiculous you getting off on me being beat up, but what about a little playful abuse?" After he suggested it Draco became very concerned. If he was being honest the idea intimidated Draco, but also made something stir in his stomach. He searched Harry's face for a reaction worried he was going to push him away at the idea. But, surprisingly, Harry flushed.

"I—uh...I might enjoy that."

Draco raised his eyebrows. "Really?"

"Yeah...welll..." Harry glanced away quickly in shame before turning back, "I've thought about it a bit and I think I would enjoy it. Carefully though. And we need a word I think...like a code word, I think that's what it's called."

Draco gave a soft chuckle, "Oh my. I can't wait till the day I can say I tied Harry Potter to the bed and shagged him senseless."

Just the thought made Harry's body fill up with warmth.

"I'm not ready though," Harry bit his lip as he spoke. "Let's do the gentle stuff first, then move into that."

Draco nodded, "Yes, of course."

Then he went back to Harry's chest, only he couldn't resist and decided to push his fingernail against his tone abs leaving a red mark that quickly faded. Harry let out a whimper and Draco knew for a fact Harry would most definitely enjoy a rough shag. Once they were both ready of course.

Draco lowered himself to the floor pulling Harry to the edge so his legs dangled off, it was easier to get his trousers off this way. Once Harry was only in his pants Draco slide a hand between Harry's legs. He slowly rubbed Harry's bulge, enjoying the fact that he was already hard. He cupped it and he suddenly realized Harry was seconds away from already finishing.

"Shh, hold it, Harry," he said as Harry let out a loud moan.

But, even as Draco was pulling back so he could take off his own clothes Harry gave a thrust forward and immediately came.

"I-I'm sorry," Harry flushed embarrassed. "I couldn't help it. You called me Harry, and damn, that was hot."

Draco gave a soft chuckle before giving Harry a kiss, "It's fine." He pulled back to see a rather large stain on Harry's briefs. "Might want to do a cleaning spell though."

Harry glanced down and gave another sheepish grin before muttering the incantation as Draco began taking off his shirt.

"Let me," Harry said jumping up. His hand went down to the button on Draco's trousers and he slowly began taking them off. As they slide down Draco was becoming more and more frustrated. When Harry finally put a hand on Draco's pants pulling them down and letting his erection spring free, Draco let out a sigh of relief.

Harry licked his lips staring at Draco's prick. He tenderly stroked Draco's length. Draco began thrusting into Harry's hand needing more friction. He threw his head back in a groan.

"Harry, take me, please," he blurted. Harry glanced up, but Draco had his eyes closed in pleasure.

Without another demand Harry slowly swallowed around the head. Draco dug his hands in Harry's hair pushing him forward and begging him to take in more. Harry pulled back for a breath before dipping his tongue against the slit. Draco let out a low deep moan and Harry's stomach tightened. He wanted Draco to never stop making the sound. So he kept trying to make him let out that noise again.

As Harry took Draco in, his inexperience made it so he wasn't able to take it all, so he wrapped a hand around the rest of it and pumped keeping in stride with his mouth.

"Fuck, yes, Harry. Merlin. Yes," he groaned. Draco found that it took great effort not to thrust into Harry's mouth as well. "Fuck, Harry. I'm going to come." He had meant it as a warning and he tried to pull away but Harry placed his hands on Draco's hips to keep him planted.

Draco let out a final grunt before leaning against the bed and collapsing in heavy breathing. Harry ran his tongue taking in all of Draco's sweet juice and giving him one last suck before pulling back.

He laid against the bed as well waiting until Draco was done panting.

"Can we...can we do that one thing we tried awhile ago?" Harry flushed as he suggested it. But, if he was honest he couldn't stop thinking about how good it had felt. In fact it was a daily source of images he used when pleasuring himself on certain nights.

Draco glanced at him. "We tried a lot of different things, Harry. Care to elaborate?"

"When you were like on top of me and I wrapped my legs around you."

Draco grinned. "Yes, yes. Oh merlin, yes we can do it."

And before Harry knew what was happening Draco had climbed over him as he was straddling him. He slowly took off Harry's pants. Draco caressed Harry's prick before doing the same to his own. It didn't take very much till they were both hard again. Draco hooked a leg over Harry's waist taking a different approach than last time.

"I want to...I want to just try something real quick," Draco grunted slowly rubbing against Harry allowing their cocks to hit each other.

Harry let out a load moan, his hands flying to Draco's back to pull him closer.

"This—I like this," Harry cried out digging his nails into Draco's back. Harry arched his back so his chest could meet Draco's and slowly they picked up a rhythm.

Their erections both rubbed against each other, leaving Harry wanting to reach down and wrap his hand around his prick. He needed more friction, but at the same time this felt enough. So to ease his restlessness he kept his hands firmly on Draco's back.

Draco pressed hard against Harry before pulling his hips back and continuing the action. Draco's breath tickled Harry's ear and as he heard Draco's moans it seemed it did not take long for him to finish.

When Draco felt Harry's cum hit his stomach he pulled back despite not being done yet. Draco moved his own hand down to finish himself. But, Harry quickly reached out and began pumping Draco's prick.

Draco grasped the sheet of the bed tightly as within seconds he also came. 


	51. A Big Secret

Chapter 51: A Big Secret

Harry ran a hand through Draco's hair as he stayed laying on his chest. At first Draco nearly stopped him from touching his hair, after all he had taken a lot of time trying to style it, but then he realized it was already a mess from all of his hair pulling.

"I love you," Harry mumbled breathing in deeply the scent of Draco.

Draco let out a soft sigh, "I love you too."

After a moment of silence passed, where Harry just stroked Draco's hair and Draco listened to Harry's heart, Draco finally spoke, "We ought to get going. Lunch will be soon."

"Hermione and Ron will probably be wondering what's taking so long."

"They'll probably be worried we got into a fight." Draco let out a chuckle. But, Harry turned red. He was pretty sure that was  _not_  what they were thinking.

"Doubt that," Harry pulled his hand out of Draco's hair making him let out a soft whimper, "They know I love you, so I can imagine they probably are assuming we're in this position right now."

Draco raised his eyebrows, "Hmm...I wonder if Pansy is thinking the same. Can you imagine how the Great Hall would react to us both walking into lunch, hands together, and sex hair." Draco turned to glance at Harry's hair. "Okay, my sex hair, yours looks the same."

Harry raised a hand to his hair letting out an offended gasp.

"You love it though," he said with a smirk. Draco bit his lip and decided he needed to stop fighting his feelings. Harry loved him, and he loved him. It was pointless fighting a losing battle anyways.

"I do," and he reached up to give Harry a kiss.

Harry let out a groan as he felt Draco give a light tug on his hair.

"Is it normal to get hard this soon after a shag?" He groaned. Draco pulled back to notice that Harry was in fact semi-hard.

"Well, you're just as normal as me it seems, Harry."

Draco removed the sheet that had been separating them. He began kissing Harry's chest.

"We'll have to be quick," Draco said glancing up at Harry who had already thrown his head back and was grasping the sheets.

"Mhm," he moaned.

Draco kissed all the way down to the dark bush of Harry's pubic hair. He stroked Harry's length and slowly swallowed his head. Harry let out a choked sob of a moan as Draco worked. Harry kept himself from putting his hands in Draco's hair, but it was with great effort. Knowing they didn't have long, Draco began using both of his hands to help edge Harry further. With his right hand he gave one of Harry's balls a light squeeze, which made Harry cry out.   
"Fuck, Draco. Yes."

Draco opened his mouth allowing himself to take more of Harry in. It seemed Harry was already greatly turned on, because moments later his cock began spurting out its juices into Draco's mouth.

He pulled back to give Harry a light kiss. 

"Do you like that?" He purred. "Tasting yourself on my lips?"

_Merlin_ , Harry thought,  _that shouldn't turn me on but it does_.

"Mhmm, yes."

Draco licked his lips to get any more of Harry into his system. Then it seemed his erection couldn't stay like that any longer, he desperately needed friction. And seeing as Harry was still in a daze of his own ecstasy, Draco began tending to it himself. He used his hand to slowly pump his cock. He moved his thumb over the head swiping off the pre-come. He let out a deep moan and briefly closed his eyes.

Harry opened his eyes to see a sight that he made sure to save to use for later nights when he was alone in his dorm. Wanting to aid the Slytherin, Harry placed his hand on top of Draco's. He began moving in motion with Draco. The combined movement proved to help Draco as it was only a second later he was coming.

After Harry said a cleansing spell, the two boys began pulling their clothes on.

"I don't know how I'll ever be able to go to class now," Harry muttered trying to get his tie on, only he realized it was green so he quickly threw it off and tossed it to Draco. He figured wearing the Slytherin's tie would be a funny way of outing the both of them, but after last night most would probably assume it was Blaise's.

"Why?" Draco asked shoving his shoes on.

Suddenly, Harry was beside him pressing against his back.

"Because, all I'll think about is how good you taste and what you look like naked."

"Merlin, Potter. Are you always this horny?" Draco let out a laugh and shook his head.

"Oh please, you're telling me that you don't want to constantly pounce on me?"

Draco bit his lip and flushed. "Well, at least I can control myself!"

Harry rolled his eyes and gave Draco a squeeze from behind purposefully rubbing against him. Draco squeezed his eyes shut. It took a lot in him not to let out a moan, for Harry's dick was rubbing right against his arse, and Draco could only imagine what that'd be like naked.

"Come on, we can't stay in here shagging all day. I'm hungry and I'm still slightly annoyed with you and Blaise."

That was enough to get Harry to pull away and he stepped forward so he could face him.

"It really meant nothing, I'm sorry."

Draco stared at him, he wanted to keep making Harry feel guilty, it gave him leverage, but he also didn't want Harry to feel bad.

"I know. But, please remember that I still need to hex you."

"Of course, I deserve it."

Draco gave him a strange look, "I'm not really going to hex you..." Harry glanced at the wand in Draco's hand that was low and nowhere near to cursing him.

"Well if you did, I'd understand it. I deserve it for kissing Blaise and everything else I did to you." He glanced at Draco's chest.

"We really need to stop blaming ourselves for such ridiculous things," Draco sighed.

He then reached forward and gave Harry a kiss which immediately stopped any self-loathing he was about to begin.

Together they walked to the Great Hall. They didn't hold hands, although their shoulders did occasionally brush.

"I think we shouldn't tell anyone," Draco mumbled his voice low, "Our little secret. Let's just see how long it takes everyone to figure it out."

Harry glanced at him with a smile. "You're such a Slytherin," he laughed. "But, yes. I agree. We won't outright hide anything, but we won't go out of our way either."

Draco nodded in agreement.

"Our little secret," Harry continued as they stepped inside the Great Hall parting with just a simple nod, even though Harry desperately wanted to clutch him close and snog him.

_Our little secret..._ Only Harry didn't think this was little. This was probably the biggest thing to happen to him since defeating Voldemort as a baby. Granted he'd fought him again and with the help of Hermione and Ron he found horcruxes, but really it was all luck. He never meant for any of it to happen, somehow it always ended up just right.

And so this was a big secret. So big he really wanted to scream about it.

And when he sat down, between Ron and Ginny at the Gryffindor table he couldn't help but smile.

And when Hermione asked how Draco was, Harry merely smiled again. Because, it was a secret—a big secret.

And when he glanced at the Slytherin table and locked eyes with Draco and he smiled back rather than a sneer, Harry's heart pounded out of his chest, because Draco's pale eyes held the secret.

Harry was beginning to find, that perhaps things didn't need to be normal, and he didn't even want them to be normal anymore. He just wanted Draco and he wanted everyone to know of their big secret. 


	52. The First One to Figure It Out

  
Chapter 52: The First One to Figure It Out

"I-is Draco's hair not gelled back like normal?" Hermione squeaked when she glanced over at where Harry was looking.

Harry was grinning, but seemed to be in an entirely different world.

"I wonder if he ran out," Luna quipped, "Ron, you ought to let him borrow some of yours. You two share the same type I believe."

Ron turned red, "I don't use hair gel."

Hermione gave him a knowing look before turning back to question Harry, because he had been gone for an awful long time, but Harry's eyes were glazed over and Hermione knew anything she said wouldn't reach Harry's mind.

-~-

"Is it just me, or does Potter's hair look sexier?" Pansy said with a smirk and glanced at Blaise.

Draco grasped his fork tighter anger bubbling through his system. Perhaps keeping it a secret was a terrible idea. Especially if Pansy was going to do this tireless charade.

Blaise turned around to glance over at the Gryffindor table, "Still looks like a mess to me, Pans."

Draco watched curiously, as Pansy lost her composer.

Goyle decided to share his input though. "Dunno, it looks a bit messy. Did you shag him good, Blaise?"

Draco sent a narrowed glare at Goyle, but then looked at Blaise curious to see how he would react. Blaise smirked.

"Wouldn't you like to know," and then he had to have the nerve to wink.

Draco clutched his fork so tightly now, he was surprised it hadn't broke.

"I thought you two didn't do anything," he growled. A part of him felt deeply betrayed Blaise and Potter had lied to him.

Potter had  _used_  him.

Blaise flinched at Draco's harshness. "We didn't. Can't deny I wouldn't like to though." He shrugged and Draco then let out a very inhuman growl that resembled much of a wolf's low groan.

He immediately regretted his idea not to walk in with Harry's hand and snogging him. People like Blaise needed to be put into their place.

"You guys didn't shag?" Pansy's voice went up an octave and she quickly coughed hoping to cover it up.

"Well, no. Turns out Potter is immune to my good looks. Such a shame."

"Yeah, such a shame," Draco bit.

It was an uncomfortable rest of their lunch. Pansy was busy trying to withhold her ever growing crush. Blaise was, well Blaise and continued his arrogance—which Pansy was quick to notify him made him seem very Gryffindor and told him to stop (she secretly didn't want him to stop though). Draco was busy trying to control his jealousy and also trying to keep his feelings in check. Although he had admitted he loved Harry, it was still hard to knowledge it.

At times he wanted to shout it out to everyone in Great Hall. One of those times was when Pansy once again commented that Harry's hair looked nice. Draco was sure she was either trying to get him to admit he had hooked up with Harry again, or she was trying to push Blaise's buttons.

He didn't care to find out which one it was, he just wanted to be annoyed with her.

After lunch, Draco wanted to go get Harry, but it seemed Harry had already left and went on his way with Weasley and Granger. He let out a sigh and went to the library. He had planned on going by himself but Pansy followed.

"Can't you go with Blaise," he grumbled.

"Why would I?"

"Because, you like him?"

Pansy shrugged, "I'm over it."

Draco gave her a pointed glance.

"Okay, fine, I'm not over it. But, crushes hurt, that's why they're called crushes! So I'm pushing it down." She nodded her head in agreement. "Also, Theodore Nott keeps giving me looks and I think I'm going to give him a shot instead."

Draco rolled his eyes. "Whatever you want, Pans."

"Okay, let's talk," she said suddenly grabbing Draco's arm. "Did Blaise and Harry actually hook up? Is that why you're in a mood?"

All Draco could do was blink at her. Pansy could be extremely daft at times.

"I'm not in a mood," but the way he said it through gritted teeth and a low voice suggested otherwise. Truthfully he just wanted to be alone so he didn't have to be bothered with Pansy's problems.

"Okay, well, snap out of whatever you're in." She huffed and began walking towards the library again.

Draco had nothing better to do but follow.

-~-

"Harry, are you in there?" Hermione said waving a hand infront of Harry as they sat on the couch in the Gryffindor common room. He kept going in and out of reality.

"He didn't get another love potion did he?" Ron muttered and Hermione shook her head.

"We know how he reacts to those. He would be wide awake right now, proclaiming his love."

Harry blinked staring at him, did they just say proclaiming his love? Shit, Harry thought, had he already accidentally blurted out about how Draco loves him?

"Did I say something?" He said jolting up straight.

Hermione stared at him. "Are you okay, Harry? You've been out of it all day."

Harry nodded, "Yes, I'm fine. Just tired is all."

Hermione and Ron shared a curious look, but decided to leave him be.

Harry was busy fantasizing about Draco and about how he finally said that he loved him. He was also thinking about Draco's body of course. He thought about the scars that lined his stomach and back, each one with a different slash, some darker and faded, some still light pink. And all Harry wanted to do was kiss every single of them. Then he started a daydreaming about what it would be like and if he could ask Draco to let him do it, but then he realized that was a terrible idea and it made him like a lovesick puppy.

As Hermione prattled on about a Transfiguration essay that was due and she already had done, but she didn't think it was done well enough (Ron gave her a kiss at that, because she needed to not be so hard on herself) Harry continued his thoughts about Draco. He wondered where Draco was and what he was doing. Then he had the flash of an image earlier. Was Draco lying on his dormitory bed naked with his prick in one hand and his other clutching the bed sheets tightly?

Harry had to quickly think of something entirely different, like the image of Voldemort in that position, because he realized that if he didn't stop Hermione and Ron would be very confused on his arousal on the topic of Transfiguration and their morning class Monday.

But, to be fair even Potions could get him turned on. Because he could see Draco now, hunched over a pot, eyebrows furrowed, licking his lips, sweat against his brow. In fact that look was close to how Draco looked when he came. And all he had to do was run his tongue his bottom lip—suddenly Harry was very turned on and very uncomfortable.

He adjusted in his seat hoping to hide how hard he was.

Draco was right. He was too horny.

But, it wasn't his fault that he was in love with a Sex God.

-~-

Draco was working his Transfiguration essay in the library with Pansy after dinner when Harry approached. His eyebrows were furrowed in concentration and it took a lot of effort to not look up at Harry and grin immediately.

Instead he took his time, lazily staring at the Gryffindor and turning his face into a sneer.

"What do you want, Potter?"

Harry was slightly annoyed that Draco had gone back to last names, but decided he could deal. He needed to be nonchalant on how he suggested they should go shag. He needed to be discrete and be able to pull him away from Pansy without it being too clear what they were going to do.

Harry did the opposite of discrete. "Want to go to the Room of Requirement? It can be quick."

Pansy choked on air and Draco tried his best not to laugh, because damn Potter was hot but he was not smooth.

"Quick?" Draco mused, "Hmm. I think we can make it last, after all we have all night."

Then he jumped up ignoring the looks Pansy was giving him and abandoning any thought of his Transfiguration essay.

Pansy was the first to figure out that Draco and Harry were shagging.


	53. Strangling the Snake

  
Chapter 53: Strangling the Snake

"You just can't keep it in your pants can you, Harry?" Draco laughed while trying to take off Harry's shirt and kiss him against the wall at the same time.

"Not my fault you're so bloody hot."

Draco paused pulling back with a faint smile. "True. I am very hot."

Then he went back to kissing Harry's neck then moving to his exposed collarbone.

"Okay, I probably shouldn't admit to doing this, but instead of working on Transfiguration I may have looked up a thing or two, and I found a new position to try."

Harry could nearly laugh at Draco doing sex research, but he was too turned on to think it was funny.

"I'm up for it, tell me what to do."

Draco grinned and dragged Harry to the bed to position him.

He quickly instructed him to get on the bed and lean against the headboard. Slowly Draco took off Harry's shirt. He then began leaving a trail of kisses down Harry's chest, pausing only to give tender bites on certain spots. Draco got to the deep v-line and his hand followed the bone to Harry's waistband. He glanced up at the raven-haired boy to see him biting his lip in anticipation, which cause Draco to smirk. He unbuttoned Harry's trousers and wasting no time he took both his trousers and pants off at the same time. His erection sprang free and it took a lot of Draco's self-control not to lean over and swallow it whole. He had other plans tonight.

Draco began to give Harry a strip tease. Although he did take his shirt off rather quickly, the scars on his chest still greatly bothered him. Draco figured they always would. Once his shirt was off he pulled his trousers off pausing so they slowly came down his hips. Harry watched onward as Draco slowly rubbed his own bulge. Harry let out a gasp as he couldn't stop himself from touching his own length.

Draco smirked as he watched Harry's hand.

"Not so quick, Harry," he cooed.

Draco slipped out of his pants and before Harry could blink he was opposite of him. Draco grabbed a pillow to put behind himself leaning against the other edge of the bed. They were facing each other, Draco's legs over Harry's. Their erections were sprang up with arousal. Draco thought back to the image and realized there was a great error, this bed was much bigger than the picture's.

"Harry," he let out a frustrated groan, he really wanted to just touch himself instead, but he had a feeling what he wanted to do would be so much better. "Throw me another pillow."

Harry didn't hesitate, he quickly tossed Draco another pillow and Draco moved forward. Draco sighed as their erections touched and Harry let out a low moan. Harry wanted more friction though and sent Draco a pleading look.

"P-please, oh merlin."

Draco knew exactly what he meant. Draco scouted forward a bit before reaching out and wrapping his hand around both of their lengths. His four fingers pumped Harry's while his thumb rubbed his own. The movement of rubbing both cocks together was enough to make Harry cry out though.

Harry needed to do something though so he settled with placing his hands on Draco's legs digging his fingernails into him. Draco let out incoherent sounds of pleasure.

"Fuck, yes, Harry," he groaned picking up his pace. Draco leaned back further into the pillows his eyes rolling back.

Harry watched Draco's eyebrows furrow and he bit his lip to stifle any moans. Matching Draco's pace he rubbed against Draco's legs and arched his back wanting more. Harry needed to be closer to him, needed Draco touching him.

"I-I can't, Draco," he cried out, "I—I needed you, now, on me, now."

Draco opened his eyes to stare at Harry who was practically writhing wanting to be closer to Draco. Draco adjusted his stance with his hand, he began using both hands. One wrapped around his head and the other pumped the length.

"You can, Harry, focus. Fuck, merlin." Draco threw back his head once again thrusting his hips forward. He could feel Harry's legs spasming underneath him. He could feel Harry's heat and sweat and it was like they were connected but not. Their erections were rubbing against each other, but with their chests not touching it was if they shouldn't be rubbed against each other.

Draco choked a moan and squeezed his eyes closed tightly. Harry continued to press forward wanting to pull Draco closer. He needed to touch him, feel his body on top of his. They were so close but not. And it turned Harry on at the same time as he hated it.

"I-I can't, Draco, please." He wanted more than just Draco touching him now, he wanted to feel the heat of Draco's mouth as it wrapped around him.

Suddenly, Draco pulled back and Harry glanced think he was going to turn and get on top of him, but Draco simple switched hands and was touching him less now. In fact Draco was only using his thumb to rub Harry's length now.

"You can, Harry. You can come, I know you can," Draco moaned.

His pace began to get quicker then slower, becoming irregular and Harry watched him stare back in concentration as he let out one low moan and finished. Draco's cock leaked out its juices onto Draco's hand and Draco didn't pause his motion instead he continued to rub both of them off with his come still dripping.

"Draco, please," Harry had half the mind to beg Draco to switch position. How could he come when they were hardly touching?

"Harry, look at me," Draco said suddenly.

And Harry glanced up from their cocks rubbing against each other in harmony to see Draco's face with blonde hair falling in front of his pale eyes.

"Come, come for me, Harry."

And it was as if that was he was waiting for. Harry arched his back, thrusting his prick into the air and feeling Draco's cock brush against his as Draco's thumb also rubbed him.

Harry let out a long moan as his body became strangely cold while his stomach filled up with fire. It didn't feel like it normally did when he came, but it was a good change Harry decided. Especially as he could watch as their come merged as one like a beautiful painting, which he immediately shot a cleaning spell at.

-~-

"Were there any other new positions you saw?" Harry mused while laying his head on Draco's chest.

Draco's cheeks tinted pink. It made Harry's heart pound.

"Yes, but I don't think we're ready for all of them yet."

Harry gave a chuckle, "Well I hope you were only looking at them for research and not...you know..."

Surprisingly Draco turned even redder.

"Wanking off?" Draco finished, "Flogging the log? Strangling the snake?"

"Strangle the snake?" Harry said turning red now himself.

"You don't say that one in Gryffindor? Hmm... Must be a Slytherin thing." Draco shrugged, but Harry moved himself in more of a sitting a position.

"What goes on in those Slytherin dorms?" A part of him was curious, but also shocked.

"You're telling me you've never spoken to Weasley about masturbating?"

Harry was very red now. "No!" The idea by itself made him uncomfortable.

"Huh," Draco paused he'd honestly thought it was a common topic amongst friends, "I've talked about it with Blaise, Goyle..." He paused, he wanted to say Crabbe but it still didn't feel right to bring him up, "Hell, even Pansy."

Harry bit his lip. "You've talked to them about it?" The monster called jealousy reared his front paws and Harry didn't even know why he was jealous, it just felt like a personal topic that should only be shared with him.

"Well, I talked about more of a lack-there-of. I was never turned on really, sometimes I felt like I needed to just do it. But, Blaise in 3rd year hadn't mastered silencing or covering charms, so it quickly became a topic in our dorms.

They brought it up at lunch once and I didn't say much. But, it was a type of bonding experience. It's not like we all got together to wank off together, but we taught Blaise covering charms so if one of us woke up in the middle of the night we wouldn't get an eye full."

Harry nodded and then found it very strange the fact that he had never noticed any of that going on in his own dorms.

"Surely, you guys at least went over the precautions," Draco said with a chuckle, but stopped laughing when Harry had a blank look in thought.

"Wait. So you're telling me you never once accidently walked in on one of the Gryffindors wanking?"

Harry tried to think hard, there was always irregular breathing going on at night, Dean and Seamus always seemed to be noisy, but Harry just decided that was due to the fact that they had nightmares. Then there was Neville who had once turned pink in the face when Harry had walked in, but Harry didn't understand because he was reading what looked like a magazine about sports.

"No. I don't think so..." Harry trialed off.

"Okay, either you're really oblivious to everything Harry Potter, or Gryffindors are just excellent at charms. And we all know the later is not true sooo..."

It took Harry a second to understand the jab and once he did he let out a loud "HEY!"

A moment of silence passed as Draco let out a sigh and Harry re-adjusted against Draco. Then he remembered what got them on the topic of wanking off to begin with.

"Wait, Draco, you never answered, were you looking so you could have something to beat the snake with or research?"  
  
Draco gave a smirk, "It's strangle the snake. And..."

The trailing off made Harry's stomach twist.

"Both. But, I only used the images because I was picturing us in the positions. If that makes sense."

Harry swallowed down his jealousy.

"Well, as long as you're still picturing me..." He trailed off and then suddenly started laughing at how silly this all seemed to him.

"What are you laughing about?" Draco asked and Harry turned to see the most beautiful sight. Draco Malfoy was smiling.

"I just find it funny how I can shag you fine, but talking about masturbating feels so uncomfortable."

Draco rolled his eyes. "We ought to change that. So Harry," the smile was unfortunately gone and he was smirking now, "What do you flog the log to?"

Harry bit his lip. This seemed very personal, but it seemed like a conversation they should be able to have. "Well...erm. Honestly? You."

Draco looked taken aback, "Really? You don't have stash of like whatever muggles use, porno magazines, right?"

"No. well, I have glanced through a couple, but not recent—wait how do you know what muggles use?"

Draco was doing a very good job at hiding his uncomfortableness. "I must say muggles are not the best, but curiosity gets us all. And I may have swiped a couple from Blaise. They weren't very attractive to me though." He shrugged.

"Well, I wouldn't think so. If they were girls, which were the ones I had glanced through and—wait, why did Blaise have them?"

Draco couldn't keep his uncomfortableness from inking through now. It didn't feel right talking about his friends to Harry, it was as if he was talking about them behind their backs. But, he figured it wasn't like he was saying anything rude and besides it was just Harry.

"Well, as you know, Blaise's mother has been married numerous times. Well, although not proud of it, they have spent some time with muggles. And Blaise fancies those magazines more—says they're more real or something. Leaves more to the imagination. That was back when we were like fifteen though, who knows what he looks at now."

Harry swallowed understanding and wanting to shift the conversation away from Blaise and his jealousy that was beginning to show itself. He hated being jealous of just one of Draco's frineds. "Well, I would certainly rather think about the times we share together than look at a magazine."

Draco gave a nod, "Me too." And then he placed a gentle kiss on the top of Harry's head that made butterflies release in his stomach.


	54. Just an Experiment

  
Chapter 54: Just an Experiment

            Potions had never been less enticing, and Harry never liked Potions even with Professor Slughorn teaching. The only good part was sneaking glances at Draco and that was back when he was sending him menacing glares. Now he stared at the blonde in longing. Ron had to nudge Harry twice to get him to pay attention before Slughorn could call him out for it.

            When Professor Slughorn finally said they could go, Harry jumped out of his seat ready to talk to Draco, but it seemed Draco had other ideas and left with Pansy before Harry could reach him.

            Harry wasn't sure what their plans were, sure they'd chatted a bit in front of each other's friends and he even outright asked Draco to the Room of Requirement in front of Pansy, but was he allowed to do that in the Great Hall with everyone looking? And regardless, did Draco want to have secret sneakaways throughout the week? Or was once on the weekends enough?

            All of these questions ran through Harry's mind as he sat during lunch staring at the Slytherin who had chosen the seat facing away from him this time, this led to Harry awkwardly making eye-contact with Blaise more times than he liked—especially because they hadn't talked since their midnight kiss and Harry didn't want Blaise to get the idea that he actually did fancy him.

            "Harry, are you going to inform us what's wrong mate?" Ron said glancing at how Harry was merely picking at his chicken and not eating it.

            "Nothing's wrong," Harry muttered.

            Hermione glanced over her shoulder at where Harry had been spending the last ten minutes staring.

            "Did everything go alright with Blaise?" She asked.

            Harry's cheeks tinted pink. "Erm. In a way. How are you, Hermione?"

            Before Hermione could even open her mouth, Ron interjected. "You know you avoided that question last time too. You going to tell us what happened between you and Blaise or are we supposed to just pretended you didn't go over there, flirt with him, then sneak out at midnight to meet up with him?"

            Harry bit his lip unable to explain exactly what was happening.

            "We all know what Blaise does when he goes out with people, you can tell us Harry, we won't judge."

            "Speak for yourself, Hermione!" But, Harry could tell by Ron's grin and soft laugh that he was joking.

            "We...we just kissed. Nothing else," Harry said his face heating up.

            Hermione gave him another curious glance, "Then why do you—" She glanced back over her shoulder at the Slytherin table, "Oh." She smiled to herself, but decided it best not to pry this time.

            "Well something is going in that mind of yours. You've been distracted and we can't have that! You know you're the one who keeps me company in these classes; Hermione is always there busy doing whatever she does—"

            "It's called taking notes, Ron! Which you should do more of instead of just copying mine."

            "Why would I when I have you?" He teased her and they shared a tender smile that made Harry's stomach twist. He wanted that. And he wanted that with Draco, but Harry didn't know his stance on everything.

            They were just continuing the experiment, but what in merlin's name did that mean? Well, he could think of a billion images on the experiments Draco wanted to do, but Harry knew he wanted more. Only, he'd rather this than nothing. And he didn't want to risk losing everything. And—

            "HARRY!"

            Harry jolted up suddenly. Ron was staring at him with wide eyes and Hermione just shook her head.

            "Sorry, what did you say?"

            Ron let out an exasperated sigh, "Nothing, mate. Just wanted to stop you before you put your whole arm in the butter dish."

            And Harry glanced down to see in fact his arm was mere centimeters from being greased down.

-~-

            "Um...Draco. Why does Potter keep looking at me?" Blaise said trying very hard not to look up because every time he'd look up they'd lock eyes and quickly flit away. "Shit. We just locked eyes again. And is he— _he is_ —he's blushing! Salazar Slytherin, what is going on!"

            Draco resisted the strong urge to look over his shoulder and see if Blaise was correct. This was the exact reason Draco had chosen to sit where he was, he knew that if he didn't, Harry and him would be staring at each other the whole lunch and end up leaving halfway through unable to control themselves. Hormones, Draco assumed, and very powerful ones at that.

            "It's cause you're in my seat, Zabini." Draco was still ticked off at Blaise, but he knew it was hypocritical to only be mad at one of them so he tried his best to let it go. "He's not hiding a secret crush on you, in case you had your concerns."

            Blaise shifted awkwardly in his seat. "No...I wasn't thinking that..."

             "So how is Potter, Draco?" Pansy asked.

            Draco kept his expression as neutral as possible, "Bit tired, I suppose."

            "I bet," she smirked.

            Blaise glanced between Pansy and Draco. "I swear, I told you guys, nothing happened!"

            Pansy and Draco both sent Blaise a pointed glance which immediately made him swallow down any retort he had.

            "So...are you going to have a quick chat with Potter again tonight?" Pansy whispered low enough for no one else to hear (even Blaise as he had just muttered  _Damn, he looked at me again, and merlin, he nearly put his whole arm in the butter!_ ).

            "Possibly," Draco shrugged.

            "Well, I'm happy for you, Draco. You deserve this."

            Draco rolled his eyes, "We're not dating or anything. Just having a little bit of fun."

            Pansy let out an exasperated sigh. "You daft little twat."

            "Excuse me?" Draco furrowed his eyebrows.

            "Do you really need me to spell it out for you? You love him. He loves you. Why in merlin's name aren't you dating?"

            "I—" Draco had started ready to do a long rant, but suddenly stopped himself, "I don't know... Well I'm rubbish at relationships, you would know."

            Pansy shot him another look. "We did that merely to get Potter's attention! You imbecile! Of course it was a disaster."

            "Yeah," Draco shook his head, "He didn't even notice." He let out a sigh.

            "What's even more bizarre is the fact that you never realized how madly in love with him you have been for nearly 7 years!"

            All Draco could do was mutter, "Huh," because he'd never thought much about why he and Pansy had a random fling. He knew he wanted to see how Harry would react considering how awful his love life had been going, but now he looked back realizing that he wanted Harry to be jealous.

            Sometimes Draco wanted to go back and slap his past self. Other times he wanted to hug him. After all, he must have done something right to end up doing an experiment with Harry Potter.


	55. The Room of Requirement Provides All

  
Chapter 55: The Room of Requirement Provides All

            It wasn't until Wednesday that Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter snuck out again. It was midnight and Harry watched the Marauder's Map carefully for any sign of the Slytherin moving. They hadn't talked in three days, minus the one time Harry grasped Draco's wrist to shout a muffle "hi!" before Draco was surrounded by his mates. Draco and Harry had constantly been with others and neither of them knew what the next move should be. But, tonight Draco's name was floating towards the tower and Harry didn't hesitate from jumping out of his bed and grabbing his invisibility cloak.

            Harry found Draco at the top of the tower clutching the railing as he had done many nights before. Harry bit his lip already picturing what this night had in store; he hadn't been able to stop thinking about Draco the past three days.

            "Draco," he whispered getting his attention. Draco's pale grey eyes searched the room and Harry lifted the cloak to show him where he was. "Get under; I saw Peeve's roaming near here." He gestured.

            Draco smirked before sliding in. The cloak was hardly big enough for both of them; Draco's ankles were sticking out a bit so they tried to hurry. However, about halfway there when Draco hadn't spotted Peeve's he said, "You didn't see Peeve's did you?"

            Harry flushed. "No. But, can you blame me for wanting to be close to you?"

            Draco let out a soft chuckle and wrapped his hand farther around Harry's torso. "Suppose I can't be."

            They made it to the Room of Requirement with lips already swollen from kisses and Harry's heart was pounding in anticipation. They paced in front of the door, Harry thinking extra hard about what he wanted and hoped that Draco was doing the same. Harry opened the door to a rather large bed complimented with a night stand, which Harry was sure he knew what would be inside.  

            Oblivious to Harry's intentions, Draco immediately pushed Harry against the wall allowing the Invisibility Cloak to fall down to the floor and began kissing him. He pulled back to kiss Harry's jaw leaving light nibbles. Draco let out a gasp and his eyes flickered darkly as Harry took his hands and switched positions. He pulled Draco's hands above his head to keep him planted while he grinded up against him. Draco moaned and Harry used one hand to hold the Slytherin's wrists as the other trailed his sides before moving lower.

            "Merlin," Harry groaned, "You're already hard."

            Draco smirked, "So are you," he said thrusting his hips forward to meet friction and sure enough Harry's trousers were rather tight.

            Harry pulled back and dragged Draco to the bed that was just begging for them to collapse on. Draco swiftly took off his shirt and already went to unbutton his trousers, but when he glanced up the look on Harry's face stopped him. Harry bit his lip his heart racing. He wasn't sure how to exactly say what he wanted to do, but just the thought of doing it made him want to moan and he was sure Draco would say yes, but he was also was worried he wouldn't.

            "What's wrong, Harry?" Draco said moving forward to place his hands on Harry's arms.

            Harry swallowed. He decided this was an experiment they should be willing to do things like this. "I want to actually do  _it_ , Draco. Erm. I'd like to actually shag."

            Draco gave him a perplexed glance before giving a small, "oh." Harry's cheeks tented pink.

            "I mean, if you want. I just thought, maybe, it'd be nice. And I might quite enjoy it. And we've already done a lot. I just thought—"

Draco caught him off by kissing him. He pulled back to speak.

            "Well...who's going to be top and who's going to be bottom?"

            Harry's eyes lit up. "I thought we'd alternate, you know, till we figure out who likes it better. But, I want to try bottom first. I mean I think I'd like it."

            Draco smirked with a soft chuckle, "You just like the thought of me having my cock in you."

            Harry grinned back. "You bet I do. And I bet you like the thought of seeing my arse."

            Draco didn't hesitate from reaching a hand down and answering, "You do have a fantastic arse." And he gave it a light squeeze making Harry give an excited yelp.

            "Okay, well do you know what you're doing?" Draco asked as he stepped back to finish taking off his clothes.

            Harry nodded before biting his lips, "Well...I mean I've read enough about it. Research, you know."

            Draco shot him a look, "Mhmm,  _research_."

            "And, we need uh—" He let out a grunt trying to force the drawer open. Once it slide open Harry found the Room of Requirement did hold out to his request. Inside was a tube that Harry was only somewhat familiar with. "Lube."

            Harry turned towards Draco to find him already naked and slowly stroking himself. Harry licked his lips as he glanced down at Draco's cock that he was pumping, precum leaked out and Harry had the strongest urge to forget about actually shagging—he just wanted to wrap his mouth around Draco's prick and taste him. But, he shook that thought away when he thought about how good it would feel to have Draco actually inside him.

            "I think you have on far too many clothes, Harry..." Draco said gesturing to the fact that Harry was still in his pajamas. Draco's eyes lingered on Harry's ever growing bulge, his pace quickened.

            "You better stop that, before you come early," Harry shook his head although the last thing he wanted was Draco to stop pleasuring himself—he had his bottom lip jutted out and his eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

            "You better hurry up so I don't come early," he groaned only getting faster which caused Harry to let out a low growl. It was a few seconds later that Harry was also naked, only he was on his knees on the bed. Draco watched cautiously as Harry worked.

            Harry placed a generous amount of lube on his fingers, he'd done this a few times to himself—curiosity had always gotten the best of him (and merlin did it feel good)—but he wasn't quite sure the right amount to make him ready to have a cock inside. He knew it could hurt if he couldn't prep right, so he took his time—despite the deep need in his stomach to have Draco right then and there.

            He started with his middle finger, reaching behind his back, and slowly pushing it through his entrance. He hadn't even gotten halfway to the knuckle before he was able to feel how tight he was, he clinched his buttocks in reflex already ready to start his normally rocking sessions he'd had done before in order to get off by himself.

            He heard Draco let out a moan and he glanced at the side to see Draco watching him with wide eyes his hand still tightly on his cock.

            "Merlin, this is hot," he blurted. Harry flushed and pushed his finger in deeper to his knuckle letting out a quiet groan that went unnoticed due to Draco's loud moans. Draco was sure to be coming at least twice tonight.

            Harry moved his middle finger inside himself adjusting as he did so, he was very aware of how hard he was at this moment, his balls hurt, he needed friction, about this time he usually would grasp his prick so he could come, but he didn't want to come yet. He wanted to feel Draco inside him tonight. Harry pulled his middle finger out and added more lube to his fingers, just in case, before pushing two fingers in. He felt his body expand to fit his fingers, but it was a struggle not to move. He took his time leaning back into his fingers, he was beginning to sweat now and let out incoherent noises.

            Draco let out a very loud, "Fuck!", and Harry glanced over just in time to watch him come over the edge.

            He looked at Harry, "You are so fucking hot right now, I'm sorry. I couldn't just watch and not come." Then he slowly got up and joined Harry from the behind.

            Harry felt Draco's had on top of his, pushing his finger even deeper than he thought could be allowed. Harry let out a loud moan as he turned around to see Draco. If he angled his head just right, it appeared Draco was already inside him.

            "Draco," he groaned, "You gotta take over, er, I'm going too slow. I need you to do it." He pulled his fingers out placing his hands on the bed and lifting his arse higher in the air.

            Draco blinked. "I don't want to hurt you, Harry."

            Harry brushed it off, "You won't. And I'll tell you if it hurts too bad, but I can't go fast and merlin, if we don't hurry I'm going to come soon too."

            Draco still paused. "I've never done this before, Harry. So if—if I do it wrong—or you don't like it—just tell me. Okay?"

            Harry nodded. "Of course, it's my first time too, so don't fret about it. Now, hurry up put your fingers inside me and get that cock of yours inside me!"

            Draco didn't need to be told again. He took the tube of lube and placed some on his fingers. Harry's hole already seemed to be almost dripping of it, but better safe than sorry. Draco slowly shoved two fingers in marveling at how it felt. In honesty, Draco had never even touched himself there before so he wasn't sure what to expect.

            Harry let out a gasp and Draco immediately pulled back. "What happened? Did I hurt you? Did I go to fast?" He asked with wide eyes.

            "No...No..." Harry shook his head as Draco went back to put his middle finger and forefinger inside him. "Just feels...weird is all. Bit different when it's not your own hand doing it." 

            Draco swallowed nodding.

            After working him for a few more seconds, Draco felt it safe to begin scissoring him. Harry let out moans of pleasure and when Draco decided he was enjoying it well enough he added a third. By the time Harry shouted that he was going to burst if Draco didn't get his cock inside him right that instant, Draco was more than hard and about ready to come again just by hearing Harry moan.

            Draco pulled back grabbing the lube and rubbing it down his length, it mixed with the come that was still there. Just to be safe he added it to Harry's pulsing entrance as well.

            "Ready?" Draco said a bit concerned he hadn't prepped Harry enough.

            "Fuck, merlin, yes. Draco. You get your cock in me, and do it now, or so help me I will—"

            And Draco never found out what Harry was going to do with him because at that moment he slide inside him making Harry abruptly stop with an intact of breath. He slowly eased into him carefully. Harry grasped the bed sheets.

            "Is it—are you okay?" Draco asked scared to move deeper.

            "Y-yes, keep going," Harry said, but he was gritting his teeth so that worried Draco. However, he told himself that if Harry was in pain he'd tell him. At least he hoped he would.

            Once he was assured Harry was okay, Draco adjusted himself and placed his hands on Harry's hips. He slowly pulled out before shoving back in. Draco let out a deep groan.

            "How—" He grunted pulled out and back with a small slap of skin hitting skin, "Does it—" he groaned again, "feel?"

             "Bit...weird..." Harry said, it did feel good, but it was an odd feeling he didn't know how to describe, and there was pain as well (a small null pain, but pain nonetheless).

            Draco swallowed, perhaps he was no good at this. Draco pulled back adjusting once again and then shoved back in. This time Harry let out a very loud grasp.

            "There! Merlin! Right there!" He threw his head back moaning in pleasure.

            Draco's stomach tightened at the sight. He pulled back slightly. "Where?" And he pushed back in again deeper trying to hit the spot again. Harry let out another moan and Draco knew he had found the spot. He kept his angle. He'd do anything to keep Harry making those noises.

            Draco let out a moan finding himself getting pulled deeper and deeper. He'd never felt something like this. All of his senses were very aware. He could feel the pull of his balls, he could hear the sound of slapping skin as he pulled back in and out, he could watch Harry grip the sheets so tight his knuckles turned white, and he could feel the sweat pouring out of his muscles as he tightened them trying to keep his legs from bucking.

            "Touch me," Harry begged, "Please."

            Harry let out a moan. He was throbbing needing friction. His arms were too weak to hold himself up with only one, but his prick was dying to be touched. He felt Draco adjust behind him and he reached down to grasp Harry's cock.

            "Oh merlin," Draco moaned. His thrusts got deeper and he began pumping Harry's length at the same pace.

            "I'm gonna—" and before Harry could even say it Draco's hands were covered in cum.

            Harry collapsed, but his arse stayed up as Draco continued to pound in him until finally he let out a gasped and pulled back just in time to spew his juices all over Harry's spine.

            "Merlin," Draco panted lying down beside Harry.

            "That—" Harry paused to catch his breath, "Was amazing."

             "Screw strangling snakes, this is where it's at," Draco grinned throwing his head back. His chest was rising still trying to regulate his breathing and heart rate.

            Harry nodded. "I don't think I'll ever be able to stop thinking about this shag."   
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: tbh I think Draco bottoms more than Harry (I personally believe they switch), but for the aspect of this story Harry will be the bottom hehe


	56. The Limp

  
Chapter 56: The Limp

Harry was correct in thinking he'd never be able to stop thinking about the shag. In fact he thought about it so much that night, he had decided that he'd suggest to Draco the next morning that they should have another round before breakfast. However, when he woke he moved and immediately let out a groan.

Draco jumped up with his wand out, his eyes searching the room for any Death Eaters.

"Harry?" He glanced at the Gryffindor startled. "You alright?"

Harry nodded, but as he shifted Draco could see through his grimace, even as he tried to hide it by squinting his eyes and pretending that it was merely because he didn't have his glasses on.

"Bullshit. What's wrong?" Draco asked again pulling himself in a sitting position and allowing the blanket to fall even though it exposed his bare chest.

Harry swallowed. "It's nothing." But, as he moved again he felt very uncomfortable. It didn't hurt that bad in the moment, they had prepped enough, but clearly it didn't matter. His muscles were sore and he was already flushing in embarrassment as he realized he'd have to walk with a slight limp to the Great Hall.

"Did I..." Draco trailed off with fear in his eyes. "Did I do something wrong last night? Did I hurt you?"

Harry shook his head again, but his tongue seemed to have grown twice its normal size and he couldn't talk.

"Well then what's wrong?" Draco asked with a piercing look.

Harry sighed. "Fine. Okay. Fine, Draco. I am sore. Very fucking sore for a matter of fact. You didn't do anything wrong, but I guess my muscles just were stretched a lot." He shrugged and then smirked. "Your cock is just too big for me, Draco."

He'd meant to change the energy in the room, but Draco quickly ignored Harry's last comment.

"So I did hurt you? I told you to tell me, Harry! Now you're hurting and it's my fucking fault!" He narrowed his eyes and clutched his wand tighter—it seemed ironic to Harry for Draco to want to hex him when that would mean hurting him.

"You didn't hurt me! I mean yes, it did hurt a bit, but it wasn't bad. And it went away anyways. It's just because it's my first time. I probably should have thought about it before suggesting we do it on a Wednesday when we have classes the next day, but that's my fault." He shrugged once again. But, Draco wouldn't let his annoyance subside.

"You should have told me," he huffed, "I would have stopped." He folded his arms.

"Stop being a drama queen, Malfoy."

Draco narrowed his eyes. "What did you just call me?" Something small broke in his chest. So that's where they were? Back to last names.

"A drama queen," Harry rolled his eyes, "Don't be so offended. You are one! Draco Malfoy Prince of the Slytherins and Queen of the Dramas."

"Fuck you, Potter!" He growled.

"YOU JUST DID!" Harry wasn't even sure why they were fighting, but the pain in his arse did have him on edge so perhaps that was why.

"Really? I didn't notice, I thought that was Harry. Just Harry. The person I loved, but I guess you're right—it was Potter." He sent a glare at Harry which was actually quite frightening before pulling himself off of the bed and began putting his clothes on.

"Yes, well at least you didn't fuck a Malfoy!"

Harry didn't know why he said that. He also regretted it the minute the words left his mouth, especially because of the pained expression on Draco's face.

"Wait. No. Draco—I didn't. That's not." He let out a groan and pulled at his hair.

A flicker of pain stayed on Draco's face before the cold Malfoy stare took over.

"No, it is what you meant,  _Potter_."

And before Harry could even mutter an apology Malfoy was out of the door—he hadn't even bothered to fix his hair he was so angry.

Harry let a groan and collapsed on the bed, but then let out a yelp as he realized his arse really did hurt.

-~-

"Good morning, Draco," Pansy said as her friend plopped down into the seat next to her.

"Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes," Blaise commented running his eyes over Draco's misbuttoned shirt and hair that fell in front of his face, he doubted he even brushed it. Draco glanced down and fixed the buttons on his shirt nonchalantly.

"Wait. Let me guess. There's two reasons you could look like this: You just got back from a shag—" Draco didn't even look up, "Okay. No. Or you found that hippogriff and got attacked again."

Draco let out a sarcastic laugh, "Very funny, Zabini."

Pansy glanced over his friend. "You alright, Draco? No offense, but he is right, you look like shit. And you never look like shit."

Draco decided the appropriate answer was none at all. He was still brimming over with emotion. He had sadness on the top of his tongue, but he decided to block it out with anger, it was an easier emotion to deal with.

"You weren't in the dormitory this morning," Goyle commented and Draco rolled his eyes.

"Great deduction skills," he scoffed.

Goyle ignored him. "Well, I just thought... Did you go drinking again?"

He decided it was best to let his friends believe whatever in merlin's name they wanted to believe. Pansy let out a gasp when he didn't answer.

"Draco you've got to limit yourself!" Then she turned and gave Blaise a stern glance, "And  _you_  need stop giving him stuff!"

Blaise threw his hands up in protest, "First it's all 'Blaise please give Draco some firewhiskey he needs it' and now it's all 'don't give Draco any firewhiskey'. Make up your mind, woman!" She rolled his eyes at him. "But, anyways, I didn't give him any last night. So he must have his own stash. And I counted this morning, I only had two bottles left and that's all that's there."

Pansy was about to interrogate Draco on where he got the booze, but she decided it best that she didn't know because it was probably illegal. "Why were you drinking anyways, Draco?"

But, before Draco could even begin to ignore her question Harry Potter walked into the Great Hall and nearly everyone's conversation stopped. Because:

"Is Harry Potter limping?"

"Merlin! He is!"

"Hey Harry, you alright?"

Harry tried his best to straighten his walk. He shot the fifth year a tightlipped smile. "Yep," he said through gritted teeth.

"Merlin," Blaise muttered, "Now, that is someone who got shagged last night." He let out a chuckle. Before something seemed to hit him, "Wait. Who got into the boy's pants?! I tried very hard to get in there!" He pouted.

Pansy ignored him and she turned to face Draco. "So that's why you got drunk, isn't it?"

Draco thought about the truth and he considered telling them that. But, as he watched everyone stare at Harry and the rumors began to spread, he decided the truth seemed much like a rumor—far too exaggerated to be believable. How could the savior of the wizarding world fall for an ex death eater?

"Yeah," Draco said. "Found out, he's with some other bloke." He shrugged and before Pansy could ask anymore he grunted, "Don't want to talk about it."

-~-

"Harry," Ron muttered, "Mind telling me what the fuck is going on here, mate?"

Harry flushed red and he glanced past Hermione and to the Slytherin table to the back of Draco Malfoy's head. He wasn't angry anymore, he wasn't even sure if he should or shouldn't be—but he wasn't. He only felt extremely sorry and he wanted to apologize.

"Nothing," Harry shrugged.

Hermione swallowed. "Erm. Harry. Your limp?"

"Oh that? That's nothing, I tripped and fell."

Ron and Hermione stared at him. "Okay, that's definitely not the truth. But, if that's what you're saying, I'll go with it. I don't think I truly want to know the truth anyways," Ron grimaced.

"Ronald!" Hermione shouted giving him a pointed glance. "You know you can talk to us, Harry. Even, er, your sex life. Not the details please, but you can tell us if you're with someone. Even if it is a bloke." She gave him a small smile.

"Thank you, 'mione. But..." He glanced back at the Slytherin table and Draco seemed to be quite fine eating a slice of toast. "I'm not with anyone."


	57. New Scars

Chapter 57: New Scars

After all they had been through, after all their progress; it seemed they were taking steps backwards. Malfoy kept sending Harry piercing looks. For some reason though, Harry rather have this attention than none at all. He wondered if this is how Draco felt when they were younger. But, then he reminded himself if Draco really loved him, he wouldn't be doing this.

Many failed attempts trying to talk later, Harry was ready to give up. It seemed stupid to continue this constant cycle. If they loved each other, why did they keep hurting each other? Harry thought perhaps it was because it was all he knew. It felt natural. It was normal, and he liked the feeling he got pushing Draco to the edge, but he hated how he built up walls and was now determined to ignore him forever.

-~-

Draco Malfoy both loved and hated Harry Potter. He hated how his hair fell in front of his face as bent over a cauldron, he hated how he could laugh with his friends despite his ever present glare, and he hated that he was happy even though Draco was dying. He loved Harry. He loved him for his charm, for his sass, for the way that he looked at Draco's scars and didn't judge him. But, Harry wasn't Potter. And Potter didn't look at Draco the same. He saw Draco the way everyone else did—as an ex death eater, a Malfoy.

He hated Harry Potter.

But, the thing he hated most was that he didn't truly hate him, not at all.

-~-

It was late into the night on a Saturday that Harry decided to glance at the Marauder's map despite his twisting stomach. Every night he'd been looking at it in hope only to be disappointed. Only this Saturday he watched the name Draco Malfoy float in the West Tower. He appeared to be pacing back and forth. And he was alone. For the first time in two days he was alone. Harry wasn't going to let the opportunity go to waste.

Three hours previously, Draco Malfoy had just announced to his Slytherin friends that he was skipping dinner and going straight to bed. He had spent the first five minutes glaring at the back of Potter's head, but after Pansy rolled her eyes at him and told him to let it go, he didn't feel like staying.

"Don't go, Draco. All I meant was that, if you're not going to be bothered to go find the bloke he traded you for, then you need to move on." Pansy sighed.

"Easy for you to say!" He growled beginning to get up from the table. "Besides, what about you?"

"What do you mean, what about me?"

Draco rolled his eyes. "You were pinning after me, then Blaise, and now Nott!"

She let out a squeak, her face burning as Blaise gave her a curious glance and Theodore Nott looked up confused on why someone said his name.

"Y-you liked me?" Blaise stopped eating to look at her.

"Briefly," she shrugged feigning nonchalant, "It's not a big deal."

"Whatever," Draco huffed.

"What about you, Draco? You were worse with Potter!"

Goyle glanced up at Draco, but before he could question what Pansy meant, Draco said, "We were enemies, Parkinson. Goodnight."

He was hoping he'd have the last word, but just before he was out of earshot Pansy shouted, "He thinks he's so secretive, but we all know he's been in love with the boy since first year. Shame, Potter already lost interest."

And then when Pansy heard the Great Hall's door closed, she turned to Blaise and welcomed Nott a bit closer. "I actually do feel bad for him. Potter surely feels the same; they're both just too stubborn to do anything about it. I reckon we ought to do something."

Draco laid in his bed staring up at the ceiling. He had already checked under Blaise's bed for alcohol, but he had warded what was left in a box thanks to Pansy's lecture. He had tried alohomora in false hope. So he settled with pulling his curtains around his bed and lying on his back to stare at the ceiling. The problem was that all the green reminded him of Harry. Everywhere he looked were Harry's green orbs. And when he closed his eyes he would watch the darkness mold into Harry's face. He couldn't escape the Gryffindor.

He squeezed his eyes shut trying his best to lose himself in the darkness and not Harry. It was a shame to go to bed this early, but he had nothing better to do and he just wanted his thoughts to stop his endless cycle of Harry Potter.

However, the nightmare that greeted Draco was worse than the endless cycle of thoughts.

He could feel the shackles digging into his wrists and then he could see his Aunt skip over to him with a cackle.

"Should've told the truth, Dray. You're going to get punished now. Oh so punished," she grinned wickedly.

Draco didn't have the strength to respond back to her, he merrily hung his head. It was worth it, he decided. If Harry survived even just a second longer because of his decision, it was worth it.

"The Dark Lord is going to be so mad!"

At the name Draco's left forearm began to burn. The Dark Mark felt as if it was on fire and crawling into his skin. Draco gritted his teeth, that was nothing compared to the countless curcios he'd been under.

"I hope it was worth saving your precious boyfriend."

"We're—not—dating," he grunted.

She glanced at him twirling his wand. "Whatever you say, Dray. Now, perhaps I should start the punishment along? Yes."

Draco felt her wand's tip press against his arm, but he couldn't see it for he was getting stars in his vision. He seemed about to pass out and that would be no good. Last time he passed out Fenir Greyback got to have Draco alone. He woke up screaming in pain and covered in blood.

"What should I do? Write traitor in your arm? Hmm?" She pressed a hand to his chin to force him to look up. "Crucio you 'till you can't stand, 'till you go crazy and are sent to St. Mungos? Hmm." She glared at him. "Tsk. I should punish you for just not fighting back."

"Why..." He paused; it took a great deal of strength to speak, "Should I? What...is done...is done." He let out a painful sigh.

Draco was sure she was about to snap her wand in half.

"CRUCIO!" She screamed and Draco succumbed to the pain, for it brought darkness. And besides the pain didn't hurt as bad as seeing Harry for the first time in months and having to see Harry look at him with fear—actual terror—and not the good kind. For a split moment, he was Harry's last hope. He could have chosen to turn his back, but how could he? Voldemort was going to end up killing him once the war was over, he was sure of it. He'd proven himself unworthy too much. Now all that was left was to endure the pain he could and try to scoot by unnoticed.

Saving Saint Harry Potter seemed easy enough.

A new scene flashed through Draco. He wasn't chained to the wall anymore. He was lying on the dungeon floor. The same cell Luna Lovegood had once been in. The same cell he came and brought her scarce leftovers every night, despite his father telling him not to. The same cell that Draco slowly learned that perhaps not everyone could hate him.

He felt a twinge of pain when he realized that everyone did hate him now.

He heard footsteps, but he couldn't find the strength to get up. He laid with his head pressed against the cool stone. His nose hurt and he briefly recalled getting hexed down the stairs and slamming his face against the floor—he must have broken it. He lifted his head briefly to see Voldemort. His snakelike eyes bore into his.

"Well done, my boy," he snarled. "You've proven yourself to be even worse than your father. Quite a hard feat to achieve. But, you Malfoys never cease to amaze me."

Draco's eyes flitted to the side to see Voldemort's snake, but besides that they were alone.

Draco understood what that meant. Voldemort was going to kill him. He glanced back at his snake. Which way would he choose to do it? Have the snake bite him or by his wand? Was Draco worth the simple Avada Kedavra curse?

Voldemort lifted his arm up pointing his wand at Draco's body. Draco briefly thought about trying to fight, but what was he going to do? He didn't have the strength to even attempt, and besides, even with a wand he proved no match with Voldemort. The thing was, when Harry had stolen the wands and left Draco wandless, Harry had left him completely defenseless. He couldn't even think about running away now. He'd never make it. But, as Draco laid in the dungeons, he decided he would have given Harry his wand willingly if he had asked. Because, in the end Draco's life didn't matter, but Harry's did.

"I've been thinking my boy...so many different curses to try. Obliviate might be fun, I could erase Potter from your mind..."

Draco tensed up.

So that's what he was going to do, not kill him, but make him forget. Draco pondered that for a moment, but Voldemort seemed to have already caught on.

"Then I realized, you'd like that, to forget. So why don't we have some time remembering?"

And before Draco could even decide if that would be a good idea or not, Voldemort was inside his mind. He was reaching through filtering through the good and bad memories. Then there was Harry. Harry with his hair in front of his face and his eyes piercing through the night.

"You were going to kill him!" He growled.

Draco swallowed. "I-I. I didn't have a choice, Potter. You wouldn't understand. Family comes first."

Harry pointed his wand at Draco. Students were already clambering down below from the commotion, the Death Eaters were making their grand escape, and in the distance he could already hear people mourning Dumbledore's death.

Draco wanted to tell Harry just to curse him, just to kill him even. He didn't know how much longer he could take.

"I hate you," he snarled.

Something collapsed in his stomach. There was a cackle that was distinctly Bellatrix and more shouting.

"They're getting away," Draco muttered and deciding Harry was not going to curse him, he spun around. He knew Harry was too much of a Gryffindor to hex him with his back turn. However, he hadn't anticipated Harry to follow.

But, when Harry caught up to Snape, he understood. He just wanted someone to pay.

How Gryffindor he was.

Voldemort pulled back briefly from Draco's memories and Draco let out a gasp falling forward. That memory made a common occurrence to his nightmares.

Then Voldemort began pushing further, deeper. Flashes of innocent bickering appeared, but then there they were in the bathroom. Draco clutched the sink tears rolling down his face. He could still feel the pain and remorse; that was the beginning of him realizing he was going to die. And then Potter had the audacity to barge in and find him in his weakest moment.

There was the yelling; the anger; and then Harry said the spell that split his chest open. He watched himself convulse on the ground as Harry watched fear stricken.

Suddenly, Draco's mind was clear and he was back in the present. He had an overwhelming urge to vomit.

"Imperio," Voldemort hissed and just as Draco had gotten his mind back he lost it again. But, now he felt calm as he was forced to his feet. A voice whispered into his mind telling him what to do. He slowly took off his shirt. Voldemort's eyes grazed over the scars. He gave a small smirk, before raising his wand to make slashing marks. Still under imperio he was paralyzed to his feet. He couldn't feel the pain, but he knew that if he were capable of looking down he'd be able to see that Voldemort had added three new cuts to his stomach, each deeper than the last, and he was bleeding out profusely.

Voldemort lowered his arm and the pain came rushing to Draco's body he collapsed in a bleeding heap on the floor.

"Keep near the drain, I'd hate for you to stain this lovely dungeon," Voldemort snarled. But, Draco couldn't move.

He waited for Voldemort to leave, but at some point he left with a swish of his robes without Draco's knowledge. He was shaking and when he looked down at his stomach he'd see more blood than skin.

He decided this was going to be how he would die.

He'd bleed to death in the dungeon of his own home. But...it would be for Harry Potter. And he decided then that he understood why people risked their lives for Harry Potter—it made dying worth it.

Draco didn't die though. He bled for what felt like hours, before his mother was allowed to come down and slowly cleaned his wounds. She put a charm on them to help with the pain, but she told him the scars would never fade and that overtime he may enjoy seeing them—"as a remembrance of what you've gone through" she said with a smile. She explained that punishments were good too, because it would remind him to never be so foolish again. But, Draco thought to himself, that his whole life had been a punishment and nothing about saving Harry Potter was foolish.


	58. Taking Steps Backwards

  
Chapter 58: Taking Steps Backwards

Usually Draco's nightmares didn't last long. Normally, he'd only get through one pain-enduring experience before someone woke him up. But, that night, he had warded his curtains shut and no one came to his rescue. He clutched the sheets and tried to make his breathing even as he slowly woke up. His head was throbbing and he knew he needed to get out of the dormitory. He was about to explode from how suffocating it was, but another nightmare was waiting for him there—he was sure of it.

But, the longer he laid the more erratic his heartbeat became and the hotter the room felt. Finally he swung his legs over his bed and clambered out and into the night. Perhaps, it was too late for Potter to even be up, he hoped.

But, Harry Potter was well awake and by the time Draco Malfoy reached the tower he was on his way.

Harry climbed up the tower steps silently just as Draco had stopped pacing. Draco was now looking out onto the land, he could see a faint glow from Hogsmeade. His hands still shook and the image of Voldemort would never leave his mind. Harry stared at Draco's pale figure, his stomach dropped at the sight. Draco looked like hell. The past couple of days he'd been the normal poised Malfoy, but tonight he had his walls down. Deciding it was better for him to let himself be known, Harry cleared his throat.

Draco spun around with wide bloodshot eyes.

"Potter," he lowered his wand once he realized who it was. "I'd been avoiding going here, cause I knew you'd show," he sighed, "I don't want to talk, just go.  _Please_. Go, Harry."

If Draco turned his head just right, Harry's shadow could look like Voldemort. He was standing over him now, sending crucio over and over again. He could imagine the waves of pain coursing through him, but it was gone. He knew it was all long gone, but it was still painfully fresh in his mind. The pain was crawling itself forward. His left forearm burned along with the ache to remove it. He clutched his hands hoping to make the shake unnoticeable, but then it seemed his whole body was shaking. He hoped Potter wouldn't notice, but if he did he hoped he would just assume it was because of the cold wind.

Harry stepped forward, his heart in his throat. "Am I Harry now?" He asked hopefully.

Draco glanced away, "Please, not now, Potter." Harry swallowed at the sudden name change.

"I need to apologize," he took a deep breath hoping to sound as sincere as possible, "I'm sorry, Draco. I love you and I was an arse."

Draco still wouldn't look at him. He was turned, facing the railing. "You are one yes."

" _Please_ , Draco. I'm sorry."

Harry's breathing hitched as slowly Draco turned around. He didn't hide his shaking hands now.

"Can we just...talk? I don't want to just experiment. I want to talk. At least tonight. And I don't want to hurt you again."

Harry bit his lip, his eyes roaming over Draco's pale body, he seemed about to collapse.

"I don't want to hurt you again either."

Draco narrowed his eyes. "You didn't hurt me."

Harry took another step forward, the distance between them was now merely a foot.

"I did though...I saw your face and I watched you break when I called you Malfoy..." He trailed off unsure, he didn't want to keep taking steps backwards, "Can we talk about that?"

Just as Harry has suspected, Draco began building up walls.

"You know that...that last name is tainted is all. I've told you this." He scoffed. But, suddenly he did something Harry hadn't calculated. He let out a breath and Harry watched the walls tumble. "And we had came so far just for you to go back like that...it hurt."

They were touching now, Harry had an arm on Draco's and the other was wrapping it's way around Draco's waist pulling them close.

"First names then? If we let it slip though, we can disregard it. I don't mean to hurt you by calling you Malfoy."

Draco nodded before giving a small chuckle. "I must admit, you saying Malfoy in bed might be hot."

Harry's cheeks tinted pink and he thanked the dark for not allowing Draco to see the color.

"Calling me Potter in bed might be nice as well..." He admitted.

"What about daddy?"

Harry cracked a smile, before he found himself strangely enjoying the idea. "We can discuss that later."

They shared a gentle kiss before pulling back and pressing their foreheads together. Draco let out a small sigh and relaxed his body.

"I had a nightmare..." He spoke slowly unsure.

Harry opened his eyes to see Draco had kept his closed.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Draco bit his lip. "No...it was just Voldemort...and...you were there...Well you're always there...I was just reliving a memory and it was Voldemort who was punishing me."

Harry stared at Draco's features. His cheeks were sunken in and with his eyes closed like this he almost looked peaceful.

"Voldemort punished you...with me?" Harry furrowed his eyebrows confused.

Draco pulled back and Harry finally caught a glimpse of Draco's grey eyes. They were glazed over with pain.

"He enjoyed torturing me with visions of my past. You are my past, Harry."

Harry pressed himself closer to Draco. He couldn't think of anything to say, so he said the only thing he could.

"We're both fucked up, aren't we?"

Draco gave a tightlipped smile; he seemed to be fighting very hard to keep any emotion from spilling over.

"Very."

Harry grinned. "But, we'll be alright. We'll make it work. I know we can. It'll just take time but we'll get there."

He placed a hand on Draco's face.

"These fights...the dumb pointless fights...It's all we do...Harry...It's all we know. How can we ever get past that?"

Harry wanted to say he had an answer and that he knew that they could make through it all, but he didn't want to lie. "I—I don't know. But, I think we can try to figure it out."


	59. Late Night Talks

  
Chapter 59: Late Night Talks

They shared a simple kiss, before Harry suggested that they go to the Room of Requirement. He held Draco's hand in his, rubbing his thumb over his knuckles as they walked.

"I love you, Draco," Harry said suddenly as they neared the door.

Draco took a sharp intake of breath. "I love you too, Harry." He gave a small smile, "Even if you are an arse sometimes."

Harry let out a chuckle.

This time when he paced back and forth in front of the door, he didn't think about shagging Draco or the hormones in his body, he just thought about how much he loved Draco. Which is probably why when Harry opened the door open there was a rather large bed with a heart shaped box of chocolates on it.

"Nice one," Draco laughed picking the box off the bed. He opened the lid to find an assortment of chocolate. Harry picked one up and placed it in his mouth before contorting his face into disgust.

"Bleck," he said, "It's dark."

Draco glanced at him with wide eyes, "You don't like dark chocolate?"

"No, it's too bitter," he said before trying another and letting out a satisfied sigh when it was smooth and sweet.

"Dark is the only ones I like," Draco murmured before taking one himself and throwing it in his mouth welcoming the taste.

Harry grinned, "Looks like we work better together than we thought."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you like dark, I only like milk, we'll never be trying to steal each other's chocolate."

Draco withheld a smile and rolled his eyes. "Makes it better for buying gifts, I'll just remember that you like the disgusting one—which seems to be your taste for everything." He then eyed Harry up and down for his choice in striped pajamas. Draco doubted he had ever changed his style since first year.

Instead of complaining, Harry pulled Draco in for a kiss. Draco could taste the sweet milk chocolate on Harry's tongue, and he may hate that kind, but on Harry it was delicious.

"I just," Draco whispered, "I just want to do this tonight. I don't want to do anything more. Just kiss and talk."

Harry could have sworn Draco's cheeks were tinting pink at this, but he decided his glasses merely needed to be cleaned.

"Of course, Draco."

And this was the night that Harry learned the true power of silence. Normally, Harry felt on edge and silence made him anxious. But, he knew he must truly love Draco to understand that silence was beautiful. Especially when staring at someone for an extensive period of time.

In short shuffling feet and brief kisses they made their way to the bed. Draco laid his head on Harry's chest listening to his heartbeat and Harry slowly ran his hand through Draco's blonde hair. It soothed Draco, and as his breathing even out Harry assumed he had fallen asleep. That was before he started mumbling.

"You know the rumor that went around?"

Harry knew several of the rumors that went around, he could only assume he knew what Draco was talking about.

"Yeah," Harry said feeling Draco shift on top of him.

"Well I've been thinking about getting one of those muggle things a ta-too..."

Harry grinned recalling the rumor he was talking about. "You're getting a HP tattoo?!"

"No," Draco laughed. It was then Harry noticed why Draco had shifted, he was staring at his Dark Mark that stood out against his pale skin. "I was thinking about getting like narcissus flowers on my Dark Mark. You know...it's always going to be there, but I don't have to have it be completely tainted, I can use it to remember the love that saved me."

He glanced up at Harry judging his reaction. When Harry didn't say anything, he sighed.

"I know it sounds silly, but I'm just so sick of looking at it every time I undress. And I'm sick of you looking at it. It's just...I didn't get to choose to have it. Someone else brandished my skin. But, getting a totoo—"

"Tattoo," Harry corrected.

"Yes, that's what I said, getting a  _ta-too_  will be my choice. Perhaps then I won't look at it and see Voldemort staring back at me." Draco ran his fingers over the mark.

"I love that idea," Harry said still moving his hand through Draco's hair enjoying its softness.

"Really?" Draco looked up with hopeful eyes. He reminded Harry an awful lot of a kid on Christmas.

"Yes, it's a great idea." They shared a soft kiss before Harry said, "Perhaps you should get a lightning bolt as well."

And before Draco could stop himself he admitted, "I actually thought about getting a tiny one, on my wrist or somewhere." Then he immediately tried to cover his face up in embarrassment.

"What? Really?"

Harry felt Draco move his head in a nod motion against his chest. He slowly pulled himself back. "I'm not going to, but it has crossed my mind."

Harry grinned, "Well, I'm for it."

Draco lightly slapped Harry's chest. "Of course you are, you twat!" Harry chuckled.

-~-

"Don't you think it's strange?" Harry whispered later that night after they had laid in silence for a while.

"What?" Draco's eyes were tired and he had spent the past twenty minutes moving his hand in circle movements on Harry's chest. Draco was thinking how it was strange to be so close to Harry despite not having shagged or about to shag.

"How far we've came, we used to hate each other."

"Sometimes it feels like we still do," Draco muttered.

"Out of habit, I suppose..." Harry sighed; Draco felt his chest heave upwards.

"I don't want to fight with you always, Harry," Draco bit his lip. "I just wanted to get through this year, and fighting with you won't help...if that's all we can do, I don't know if we can do this."

Draco thought about the alternative of loving Harry Potter, but he decided he'd never be able to stop. He could only learn to live without him. He could marry a girl, go through the path his parents wanted, keep his emotions at bay and live a life of pretend. He may never be happy, Draco figured, but he could learn to survive. And he could have a boy, someone to carry on the Malfoy name, and he could be the best damn father he could, because that'd the only thing he had left to be able to do.

Draco thought to himself that he could do that. If Harry were to agree with him...He could live that alternate life. He hated the idea of leaving something so magical, but was loving someone worth the pain?

"Draco..." Harry trailed off, something twisted at how Draco spoke, "Are you...is this you breaking up with me?"

Draco refused to leave Harry's chest and kept his stare away from his face. If he looked there he'd never be able to speak. "We can't breakup, we're not together. But...I am proposing that we stop what we're doing. I don't hate you anymore, Harry. But, the anger we have for each other is strong. We'll just end up hurting each other."

Draco could hearing Harry's heart pounding and he was sure his was just as fast. Harry's stomach lurched forward, weren't they just saying I love you earlier? Weren't they patching things up? Had Draco not been paying attention to the comfortable silence as Harry had been? How could he even  _think_  about leaving each other?"

"I love you, Draco. And I told you, we can make it work." Draco swallowed his emotions and was determined to keep his head on Harry's chest, but then he began moving under him, pulling away, and Draco got chills under his skin understanding what Harry was doing. "But, if you want this to be over, then we can stop. I'm not going to keep doing this if you don't want to," he grumbled.

Draco frowned. "I don't want to end things." He pulled himself upwards so he could look at Harry now. Harry's hair was as always untidy and he ran a shaking hand through it. He blinked his eyes almost as if he was trying to rid them of the moisture that was gathering there. Draco's heart lunged forward. He wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around Harry and pull him in for a hug, but he couldn't do that. They needed to finish this conversation.

Harry turned to look at him with a soft smile, "Well then why bring it up?"

"Because," Draco paused unsure but then decided communication was the only thing that would make this ever work, "Because I'm scared. I've never loved anyone before. And I don't understand it. I don't want to lose you. But, I rather lose you now than to hurt you or to lose you later when I'm far too attached."

Harry seemed to be wanting to do the same thing Draco did because he closed the small distance between them and snaked an arm around Draco's back.

"Love isn't meant to be easy. Love is hard. And it hurts. I think that's the point, to show us how strong our love is. I don't want to lose you either Draco, and I'm not going to let you just walk away from this because you're scared." Draco gave a small smile. "You need to get more Gryffindor in you." Harry teased.

Draco smirked, "Whenever you're ready, I just need to prep first."

Then Harry really threw his head back laughing from the sexual innuendo.


	60. Putting Two and Two Together

  
Chapter 60: Putting Two and Two Together

Harry woke up the next morning to sunlight streaming in from the window. Draco was nestled into the crook of his arm and somehow their legs had become tangled together. The sight made him flush. Draco moved slightly nuzzling himself deeper into Harry, it made him smile. He enjoyed seeing Draco like this, at peace and no longer angry at the world. His arm was cramping up though and the more he thought about it the more uncomfortable he got; he decided he'd put up with it for Draco though.

This was only the second night they had spent together that didn't involve more than a kiss. It was nice just being with Draco, Harry decided. And as his heart thudded against his chest, he realized that he longed to see Draco like this every morning. He doubted there could ever be a day he didn't want to see him. Even if they were fighting, even if Malfoy wanted to shoot daggers at him, Harry decided he always wanted Draco by his side. Only he didn't know how to tell Draco this, so when he woke up all Harry could do was give a soft gentle kiss and murmured "I love you", against his lips.

Harry watched Draco's cheeks heat up. "I love you too."

Harry smiled before leaning in and giving him another kiss. "We ought to get to breakfast," Harry said but made no movements to get up.

"Thank you," Draco swallowed down the urge to not speak, "For last night and just talking with me. This has been the first night in a while that I haven't had a nightmare so thank you."

Harry gave a nod adjusting from under him and stretching his arm. "I didn't have a nightmare either for the first time in a while; perhaps we should make this a nightly occurrence."

Draco gave a light chuckle, he wished he could say yes, but he doubted the head of the houses would appreciate their night outs.

"How about a weekend occurrence?" Draco suggested with a smirk.

Harry licked his lips and nodded.

Draco pulled away leaving Harry cold and bitter, but his starving stomach nudged him to leave as well. Harry pulled on his pajamas from the night before and gave Draco one last kiss before strolling out into the corridor. He took tentative glances at the Marauder's Map making sure to dodge people. He didn't want to explain why he was leaving the Room of Requirement in pajamas. Granted it was a common occurrence for people at Saturday breakfasts in the Great Hall to still have on their pajamas, it wasn't something Harry was keen on doing. And he was sure his mates would suspect something going on if he did so. So he made his way to the Gryffindor Tower.

There was only one person still asleep when he arrived to the 8th year dormitory. Neville was curled up with his blanket over his head shielding any sunlight (the first time they had came back Ron had grown concerned over this suspecting Neville was secretly trying to suffocate himself, he then explained that it helps to block out sounds—then he mumbled something about how Ron wouldn't understand, if he was here last year then he'd be doing the same, it was a rather uncomfortable night after that).

Harry gave him a sad smile before opening his trunk and pulling out his pants and shirt. Harry ran a hand over his hair hoping to smooth it down, but it was a lost cause. He let out a sigh before going the Great Hall. As he entered he gave a sideways glance at the Slytherin table, he locked eyes briefly with Draco and gave him a small smile which he was shocked to see Draco mimic. Harry settled next to Ron who was setting across Hermione. Sitting like this made glancing at Draco quite easy.

"You seem cheerful," Hermione commented placing a hand on her ever growing belly.

Harry grinned, "I suppose I am."

"That's good, mate," Ron said piling food on his plate, "I hope this means you'll be eating again. You're looking almost worse than you did when we were camping for horcruxes."

Harry bit his lip. He avoided eye-contact with them now. His stomach twisted as he recalled that time. They tended not to acknowledge any part of the horcruxes or the war. Instead of answering, Harry swallowed and gave a curt nod before taking a bit of toast.

Across the Great Hall, Draco Malfoy sat nibbling on his breakfast. "You weren't in the dormitory this morning," Goyle commented, "Are you doing alright?"

Draco rolled his eyes. "Left early to walk around," he shrugged.

Pansy gave Blaise look. "Don't worry, Pans, I warded up my stash. No way he could get in." Feeling that was sufficient Pansy nodded.

"Well, what were you doing then, Draco?"

Draco bit the inside of his cheek, he wanted to just come out and say it—Pansy wasn't dumb she could put two and two together (minus the fact that somehow she thought Harry was shagging another bloke). But, it still felt odd to say that he was in a room alone with Harry Potter and they didn't fight, they just talked and it was pleasant and they even made out quite a bit.

It seemed too unreal to say.

Instead of answering, Draco shrugged.

Pansy let out a sigh muttering on about Draco needing to be careful and how he was lucky not to get pummeled to death every day by the enemies he had in Slytherin. But, Draco didn't hear a word of it, because he was staring at Harry. Harry seemed greatly interested in a piece of toast. He watched Harry run his tongue over his bottom lip before biting it gently. Draco felt heat rise through his stomach to his fingertips.

For a split second, Draco debated the outcomes, then deciding it was the best move Draco stood up.

Pansy stopped talking at once to stare at him. "Were you even listening?" She narrowed his eyes at him.

"No, I was not listening. You tend to speak a lot Pansy, and more than half the time it's nonsense."

Her lips twitched in a smile, "You're one to talk, half the time you talk it's about Potter. Now unless you're about to go talk to Potter, sit down." She tugged on his arm, but he stayed put.

"Actually, that was what I was about to do."

She let out a gasp staring at him with wide eyes. She was too shocked to say anything and immediately lost her tight grasp on his arm. Draco took his freedom and began taking long strides over to the Gryffindor table and where Harry sat.

He waltzed past the She-Weasel and Luna. Luna smiled at him with dreamy eyes.

"Hello, Draco," she murmured giving she-weasel a light squeeze on her hand to tell her to acknowledge Draco as well.

"Hi, Luna," he grunted and gave the she-weasel a begrudging nod, before continuing his journey.

He abruptly stopped right behind Harry. Hermione stared up at the Slytherin. Of course, Harry knew he was right behind him, he had watched him strut all the way across the Great Hall, and he could feel him now and also a wave of treacle tart passed through him and unfortunately that wasn't a breakfast option. However, he acted as if he was far too concerned with what jam would be best on his bread to acknowledge someone behind him. Ron seemed to be doing the same, but only because he thought if he ignored Malfoy he'd go away.

"Hello, Granger, Weasley," he paused moving so that if Harry turned his head up he could see him, "Harry."

Harry felt his face turn crimson as he heard his first name in public tumbling out of Draco's mouth.

"Hello," he swallowed and cleared his throat as his voice cracked, "Draco."

Feeling as if Gryffindor truly was rubbing off on him, Draco said, "Is this seat taken?" But, feeling much more Slytherin, he didn't wait for an answer and immediately sat down. He was particularly close to Harry; their legs were nudging each other. Harry was sure he was going to combust if they stayed like this too much longer.

"Goodmorning, Draco," Hermione smiled giving Ron a kick in the foot to welcome Draco as well.

"'Morning, Malfoy," Ron grumbled.

Draco smirked at Ron's displeasure. "So how are you, Harry?" Draco asked, but before Harry could answer he said, "Are you sore? I saw you had quite a shag the other day. I can only assume you are so happy because you got shagged again. I mean you're glowing!"

Ron choked on his bacon, Harry turned the color of Weasley's hair, and Hermione glanced between the pair.

"No shagging last night—"

"—how unfortunate—"

"But, it was a pleasant evening I had." He gave Draco a kind smile and this time Draco was beginning to turn pink.

"Well, I think I've had enough to eat," Draco said, "I'm going to be heading back to my own kind." 

He stood up giving nods to the three Gryffindors. "Talk later, Harry?" And he placed two fingers on his wrist hoping Harry would catch on that he wanted him back in the Room of Requirement in two minutes. Harry glanced at his wrist and nodded.

Draco waited in the Room of Requirement until lunch time, when he pulled Harry from his friends as they walked in and demanded to know what had happened and why he had stood him up.

Harry sputtered an apology. He had thought Draco meant they were meeting at 2.

  
Chapter 60: Putting Two and Two Together

Harry woke up the next morning to sunlight streaming in from the window. Draco was nestled into the crook of his arm and somehow their legs had become tangled together. The sight made him flush. Draco moved slightly nuzzling himself deeper into Harry, it made him smile. He enjoyed seeing Draco like this, at peace and no longer angry at the world. His arm was cramping up though and the more he thought about it the more uncomfortable he got; he decided he'd put up with it for Draco though.

This was only the second night they had spent together that didn't involve more than a kiss. It was nice just being with Draco, Harry decided. And as his heart thudded against his chest, he realized that he longed to see Draco like this every morning. He doubted there could ever be a day he didn't want to see him. Even if they were fighting, even if Malfoy wanted to shoot daggers at him, Harry decided he always wanted Draco by his side. Only he didn't know how to tell Draco this, so when he woke up all Harry could do was give a soft gentle kiss and murmured "I love you", against his lips.

Harry watched Draco's cheeks heat up. "I love you too."

Harry smiled before leaning in and giving him another kiss. "We ought to get to breakfast," Harry said but made no movements to get up.

"Thank you," Draco swallowed down the urge to not speak, "For last night and just talking with me. This has been the first night in a while that I haven't had a nightmare so thank you."

Harry gave a nod adjusting from under him and stretching his arm. "I didn't have a nightmare either for the first time in a while; perhaps we should make this a nightly occurrence."

Draco gave a light chuckle, he wished he could say yes, but he doubted the head of the houses would appreciate their night outs.

"How about a weekend occurrence?" Draco suggested with a smirk.

Harry licked his lips and nodded.

Draco pulled away leaving Harry cold and bitter, but his starving stomach nudged him to leave as well. Harry pulled on his pajamas from the night before and gave Draco one last kiss before strolling out into the corridor. He took tentative glances at the Marauder's Map making sure to dodge people. He didn't want to explain why he was leaving the Room of Requirement in pajamas. Granted it was a common occurrence for people at Saturday breakfasts in the Great Hall to still have on their pajamas, it wasn't something Harry was keen on doing. And he was sure his mates would suspect something going on if he did so. So he made his way to the Gryffindor Tower.

There was only one person still asleep when he arrived to the 8th year dormitory. Neville was curled up with his blanket over his head shielding any sunlight (the first time they had came back Ron had grown concerned over this suspecting Neville was secretly trying to suffocate himself, he then explained that it helps to block out sounds—then he mumbled something about how Ron wouldn't understand, if he was here last year then he'd be doing the same, it was a rather uncomfortable night after that).

Harry gave him a sad smile before opening his trunk and pulling out his pants and shirt. Harry ran a hand over his hair hoping to smooth it down, but it was a lost cause. He let out a sigh before going the Great Hall. As he entered he gave a sideways glance at the Slytherin table, he locked eyes briefly with Draco and gave him a small smile which he was shocked to see Draco mimic. Harry settled next to Ron who was setting across Hermione. Sitting like this made glancing at Draco quite easy.

"You seem cheerful," Hermione commented placing a hand on her ever growing belly.

Harry grinned, "I suppose I am."

"That's good, mate," Ron said piling food on his plate, "I hope this means you'll be eating again. You're looking almost worse than you did when we were camping for horcruxes."

Harry bit his lip. He avoided eye-contact with them now. His stomach twisted as he recalled that time. They tended not to acknowledge any part of the horcruxes or the war. Instead of answering, Harry swallowed and gave a curt nod before taking a bit of toast.

Across the Great Hall, Draco Malfoy sat nibbling on his breakfast. "You weren't in the dormitory this morning," Goyle commented, "Are you doing alright?"

Draco rolled his eyes. "Left early to walk around," he shrugged.

Pansy gave Blaise look. "Don't worry, Pans, I warded up my stash. No way he could get in." Feeling that was sufficient Pansy nodded.

"Well, what were you doing then, Draco?"

Draco bit the inside of his cheek, he wanted to just come out and say it—Pansy wasn't dumb she could put two and two together (minus the fact that somehow she thought Harry was shagging another bloke). But, it still felt odd to say that he was in a room alone with Harry Potter and they didn't fight, they just talked and it was pleasant and they even made out quite a bit.

It seemed too unreal to say.

Instead of answering, Draco shrugged.

Pansy let out a sigh muttering on about Draco needing to be careful and how he was lucky not to get pummeled to death every day by the enemies he had in Slytherin. But, Draco didn't hear a word of it, because he was staring at Harry. Harry seemed greatly interested in a piece of toast. He watched Harry run his tongue over his bottom lip before biting it gently. Draco felt heat rise through his stomach to his fingertips.

For a split second, Draco debated the outcomes, then deciding it was the best move Draco stood up.

Pansy stopped talking at once to stare at him. "Were you even listening?" She narrowed his eyes at him.

"No, I was not listening. You tend to speak a lot Pansy, and more than half the time it's nonsense."

Her lips twitched in a smile, "You're one to talk, half the time you talk it's about Potter. Now unless you're about to go talk to Potter, sit down." She tugged on his arm, but he stayed put.

"Actually, that was what I was about to do."

She let out a gasp staring at him with wide eyes. She was too shocked to say anything and immediately lost her tight grasp on his arm. Draco took his freedom and began taking long strides over to the Gryffindor table and where Harry sat.

He waltzed past the She-Weasel and Luna. Luna smiled at him with dreamy eyes.

"Hello, Draco," she murmured giving she-weasel a light squeeze on her hand to tell her to acknowledge Draco as well.

"Hi, Luna," he grunted and gave the she-weasel a begrudging nod, before continuing his journey.

He abruptly stopped right behind Harry. Hermione stared up at the Slytherin. Of course, Harry knew he was right behind him, he had watched him strut all the way across the Great Hall, and he could feel him now and also a wave of treacle tart passed through him and unfortunately that wasn't a breakfast option. However, he acted as if he was far too concerned with what jam would be best on his bread to acknowledge someone behind him. Ron seemed to be doing the same, but only because he thought if he ignored Malfoy he'd go away.

"Hello, Granger, Weasley," he paused moving so that if Harry turned his head up he could see him, "Harry."

Harry felt his face turn crimson as he heard his first name in public tumbling out of Draco's mouth.

"Hello," he swallowed and cleared his throat as his voice cracked, "Draco."

Feeling as if Gryffindor truly was rubbing off on him, Draco said, "Is this seat taken?" But, feeling much more Slytherin, he didn't wait for an answer and immediately sat down. He was particularly close to Harry; their legs were nudging each other. Harry was sure he was going to combust if they stayed like this too much longer.

"Goodmorning, Draco," Hermione smiled giving Ron a kick in the foot to welcome Draco as well.

"'Morning, Malfoy," Ron grumbled.

Draco smirked at Ron's displeasure. "So how are you, Harry?" Draco asked, but before Harry could answer he said, "Are you sore? I saw you had quite a shag the other day. I can only assume you are so happy because you got shagged again. I mean you're glowing!"

Ron choked on his bacon, Harry turned the color of Weasley's hair, and Hermione glanced between the pair.

"No shagging last night—"

"—how unfortunate—"

"But, it was a pleasant evening I had." He gave Draco a kind smile and this time Draco was beginning to turn pink.

"Well, I think I've had enough to eat," Draco said, "I'm going to be heading back to my own kind." 

He stood up giving nods to the three Gryffindors. "Talk later, Harry?" And he placed two fingers on his wrist hoping Harry would catch on that he wanted him back in the Room of Requirement in two minutes. Harry glanced at his wrist and nodded.

Draco waited in the Room of Requirement until lunch time, when he pulled Harry from his friends as they walked in and demanded to know what had happened and why he had stood him up.

Harry sputtered an apology. He had thought Draco meant they were meeting at 2.


	61. Abandoned Classroom

  
Chapter 61: Abandoned Classroom

            Harry was sure his last semester at Hogwarts would be the quickest yet; they seemed to fly by from classes to shagging in the Room of Requirement. They never specifically spoke about the arrangement, but Harry would keep his eyes on the Marauder's Map waiting for Draco to venture off alone and then he would follow (even if at the time he was sitting with Ron and Hermione in the common room and they would give him a curious glance as to why he'd been needing so many late night walks).

            On one particular night, it was a Thursday and Harry really should've been working on his Defense About The Dark Arts essay—In Your Opinion What Is The Best Countercurse And Why—but there was far better other things Harry wanted to bend over a table and do. Not to mention, he could write that essay in his sleep. DADA was already an enjoyable class, but after his trek last year he truly understood everything. It was the only class he surpassed both Draco and Hermione in marks.

            Harry found it odd that when Draco left the Slytherin dormitory, he didn't go to the Room of Requirement. He didn't even go to the West Tower. He appeared to be inside an abandoned classroom. Harry shivered at the thought about what happened last time he was in one. He pushed the door open to reveal Draco who seemed to be casting cleaning spells.

            Draco stopped immediately spinning on his heal at the intruder then his face softened. "Oh, it's you, Harry. I was just about to go get you, didn't think you'd be able to figure out where I was tonight. Now I'm getting the feeling you always follow me." He smirked stepping towards the Gryffindor.

            Harry chuckled. He debating telling Draco about the map, after all it was a secret, but he decided he could trust him.

            "I know where you are, because of this." He held up the piece of parchment and Draco twisted his face in disbelief.

"Okay, don't tell me, it's fine," he spun back around placing one last dusting spell on the desk.

"No, really, it's a map. See!" He then proceeded to mutter, "I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

Draco watched as the ink began to spread from the middle outwards on the parchment.

"Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs..." Draco read studying it.

"My dad and his friends made it when they were young," Harry said offhandedly, "Prongs was my dad."

Draco glanced his pale grey eyes up and gave Harry a kind smile, before opening the map and marveling over it. "This is bloody brilliant. You've had this all year?"

"Since third year actually."

Draco looked at him bewildered. "To imagine the things I could have done with this..." He sighed then shot Harry a pointed glance, "And you  _still_  got in trouble for things."

Harry flushed and shrugged.

"It's nice seeing our names together," Draco commented absent-mindedly. Harry grinned.

"It is, innit? Especially since we're not fighting." 

As Draco went to fold it up Harry murmured, "Mischief managed," and Draco watched in fascination as the ink faded.

Harry placed the map on a nearby desk, before stepping forward. He reached his thumb up and ran it over Draco's bottom lip; Draco let out a light moan.

"Back to the task at hand," Draco said, "Me bending you over and fucking you till you can't stand."

Harry gave a deep chuckle, "Sounds wonderful." Then he dipped his head down to give him a kiss. Draco ran a hand through Harry's untidy hair pulling slightly making Harry open his mouth wider and allowing Draco's tongue to explore. 

One of Harry's hands reached under Draco's shirt to feel his chest, while the other went to his back to pull them closer. He thrusted against Draco, feeling Draco's erection already pressing against his. Draco let out a groan wanting more friction. Reluctantly, Harry pulled back so they could take off their clothes. They got undressed rather quickly, both moving in swift urgent motions. Draco pressed Harry against the edge of the desk, the back of his thigh was hitting the edge and it was a bit painful, but Harry was more focused on Draco's lips.

Harry licked his lips as his eyes scanned over Draco's pale body, his hands roamed his curves before landing on Draco's prick; it laid under a heap of blonde bush. Harry moved his hand quickly, pumping it enough to watch the pre-cum leak out. Harry's mouth watered at the sight. Draco placed his hands at either side of Harry's body, he bit his lip to keep himself from crying out.

"H-harry, stop—"He sputtered, "I-I'm going to come,  _merlin_."

Harry's thumb ran over the tip smearing the pre-cum, before going to his own prick and pumping it. Draco took a deep breath and placed his hand on top of Harry's, pulling it off.

"Not so soon," he smirked.

Harry leaned forward to give Draco a kiss, but Draco pulled back.

"Turn around," Draco instructed. Harry didn't need to be told twice, he spun around on the desk so that he was leaning over it. His prick was trapped underneath his chest and the lack of friction was enough to make him cry out.

Behind him, Draco was coating his length in lube (Harry had taught him a spell they could use). Draco then turned to Harry's arse, which was lifted high in the air. Draco gave it a tight squeeze which made Harry gasp. He pulled the cheeks apart staring at the flittering hole. Draco licked his lips before slowly bringing his face closer. They hadn't tried this yet, but Draco was curious. Draco's tongue reached out and gave Harry's hole one gentle lick, Harry took in a sharp intake of breath.

"Merlin," he moaned.

Draco smirked; he wanted to keep hearing Harry make those noises. He leaned back down, this time forcing his tongue into the pulsing hole. Draco closed his eyes in satisfaction as his tongue moved in circles inside Harry. He grasped Harry's hips firmly to keep him steady as he felt Harry clench around him. Harry was making all sorts of noises, he groaned deeply, gasped, and moaned. Finally, feeling Harry was far too close, Draco pulled back. Harry continued to clench his cheeks feeling empty. Draco caressed his left cheek with one hand as the other worked to put lube on his prick.

Just in case, Draco shoved two fingers into Harry to check that he was well prepped. Due to their constant shagging, Harry was easier to prepare by now. Satisfied that Harry wasn't that tight, Draco pulled back and leveled himself with Harry's hole.

"Ready?" Draco asked.

"Merlin, yes, now, Draco. Please," Harry begged moving against the desk himself, he needed the friction so badly.

Draco thrusted forward and pulled back out before repeating. He waited for Harry's cry of ecstasy to let him know he had hit the spot before he began speeding up.

" _There_!" Harry moaned, "Oh merlin, yes, there!"

Draco pushed further quickening his pace. The sound of skin hitting skin rebounded in the tiny abandoned classroom. The desk began to shake underneath them. Harry had a brief worry that it might collapse, but he was far too buried in ecstasy to care. Harry grasped the edge of the desk so hard his knuckles turned white as Draco continued to pounded into him.

Harry arched his back bring his arse up to meet Draco.

"Faster," Harry groaned, " _Harder_."

But, instead Draco began slowing down wanting the moment to last. "You like that, Harry?" He cooed slowly pushing in. Draco let out a grunt finding it hard not to quicken the pace himself.

"Yes, merlin, yes. Fuck, Draco, yes. Please harder."

Draco bit his lip keeping his grip on Harry's hips and trying very hard not to quicken it like Harry's desires. He dug his nails into Harry which had to be painful, but Harry paid it no attention.

"Faster, please," he begged. He lifted his arse away from the desk to meet Draco. Unable to control himself anymore, Draco increased his speed. Sweat appeared on his brow and he squeezed his eyes shut as he let out a grunt.

Harry adjusted underneath to wrap a hand around his own prick. Draco's movements made Harry rub himself off his hand without doing anything. Harry gave on last moan throwing his head back as he came all over his chest and the desk. Draco continued to pound into him, giving grunts and groans until finally he too went over the edge. He pulled out and leaned against the desk panting.

"Best shag all the day," Harry smirked while lazily moving the come on his chest.

Draco nodded. "I think I've became accustomed to this daily shagging, it'll be quite a shame if we ever have to stop."

Harry looked up at him with a kind smile, "Who says we have to stop?"

Draco didn't answer him, instead he just gave him a soft gentle kiss, a polar opposite to how they had just shagged.


	62. A Blur

  
Chapter 62: A Blur

Draco and Harry had an unspoken policy of only shagging at nighttime during the weekdays; it was easier to leave their friends and be unnoticed that way. But, all polices end up being broken at some point. This particular point was on a Monday after Potions. Draco had been staring at Harry throughout the class nearly drooling. It was especially hot in the dungeons on this day as Spring had arrived so the students had taken off their robes and rolled up their sleeves for this class (Draco was the only student not to do so, he ignored the stares from the 8th year students who certainly understood why he didn't want to show his arms). Harry had also neglected to clean his normal trousers so he wore a pair that was a size too small. They fit him snuggly and now Draco had ample viewing to the curves of his arse.

As Harry leaned over the counter studying his potion, Draco could only imagine standing behind him and giving his arse a nice squeeze. His mouth watered at the thought and he felt his own pants become too tight. If he kept thinking of these visions he'd also have to be the only student wearing his robes.

Harry seemed to sense Draco staring at him. He looked over his shoulder to give Draco a smirk. Draco licked his lip as he saw the sweat that was appearing at Harry's brow. Harry pushed his glasses back up with his forefinger with a smirk before turning back to the task at hand.

When Professor Slughorn finally dismissed class, Draco didn't even care that Granger and Weasley were going to see, he sprinted up to Harry and dragged him away by the wrist. Harry let out a gasp and went to ask him what was going on, but Draco shoved him against an abandoned hallway's wall and snogged him senseless before he could.

Draco grinded himself against Harry finally getting the friction his prick so desired. He let out a deep moan before pulling back. He smirked as he saw the indent in Harry's trousers. He slowly caressed the bulge and watched Harry melt.

"I would say Room of Requirement, but the Slytherin dormitory is closer," Draco said feeling Harry thrust himself in his hand.

Harry merely nodded unable to trust himself to speak, he was about to combust. Draco led him to the Slytherin dormitory and said the password before pulling him through the common room.

"Everyone will be in class or at lunch, no one tends to hang out here during the day," Draco explained pulling Harry to his bed.

They quickly stripped and per Draco's instructions Harry got onto the bed. Draco crawled up lowering his face to Harry's prick. He slowly swallowed his length. Harry thrusted upward and Draco opened his throat taking him all in. He allowed Harry to begin fucking his face, in short quick movements. Draco pulled back moving his tongue against the shaft before placing his pink swollen lips back around the head. He tasted Harry's salty pre-cum on his tongue.

He slowly pulled back as Harry arched his back begging for his touch. Draco ran a finger down Harry's chest, teasing him and not touching his prick. Harry groaned.

"I want to try something," Draco said before placing his hands on Harry's legs and instructing him to bring his legs to his chest so his entrance could be more easily accessed.

Harry could feel Draco push against his hole. He let out a gasp at the new position.

"Is—" Draco took a sharp intact of breath as he slowly pushed into Harry. "Merlin, you're tight like this," He gasped. "Is this alright?"

With great strength Harry lifted his head to stare at Draco as he gave soft gentle thrusts with sweat forming at his brow.

"Fuck, yes," Harry moaned, "This is great."

Draco began picking up his speed and once he felt comfortable he reached a hand between Harry's legs and clasped it around Harry's prick giving quick pumps.

It only took Harry mere minutes to cascade Draco's hands with cum. Draco continued to pound into him as Harry spasmed with his climax. He nearly choked Draco as he tightened his hold around his shoulders.

"Fuck, Harry," Draco groaned, "That's the quickest you've ever came."

Harry's chest was still rising and falling. He took a deep breath wiping hair out from his eyes. "If you could see how you look right now thrusting inside me, you'd come too." In fact Harry was about to come for a second time, but Draco finally pulled back with one final grunt.

"Definitely worth missing lunch," Draco said lying down on the bed beside Harry as he muttered a cleaning spell on them. Harry nodded in agreement.

-~-

Days passed by for Harry and Draco in a shagging blur. They had learned that they particularly enjoyed switching between new locations. Draco wouldn't admit it, but his favorite was the Gryffindor tower during the day, he liked to see the light hit Harry's face as he pounded into him. Harry's favorite was the Room of Requirement and this was because of how keen it was to give him what he wanted.

One particular time at the Room of Requirement Harry opened up a drawer pulling back with a flushing face.

"What is it, Harry?" Draco asked.

"Well...I think we might need to come up with a safe word," he said before grabbing the drawer and dumping the contents onto the bed. Draco stared down at the pile with wide eyes. He grabbed the lube first, as it was the only item he was used to, then his eyes flicked back and forth from the rope to Harry.

"Y-you want me to tie you up?" Draco gulped while something tightened in his stomach at the thought.

"Well..." Harry trailed off a finger moving down Draco's bare chest to where the waistline of his trousers were. "I could tie you up?" Harry's eyes flickered darkly and Draco's cheeks heated up while he let out an involuntarily groan as Harry's hand cupped his bulge particularly rubbing against his cock.

"I've never bottomed before, Harry," Draco gasped. Although, he did like the idea of having Harry inside him, he wasn't quite ready for that jump yet.

"I can ride you," Harry ran a hand through Draco's hair giving a smile at the thought.

 _They hadn't tried that position yet..._ Draco imagined what it would be like and could already feel his balls tightened.

"Okay."

"Okay?" Harry grinned like a kid on Christmas. "Okay!"

He couldn't believe it, Draco was actually going to let him tie him up.

They stripped rather quickly, though Harry stumbled as his pants leg got caught on his right foot, Draco had let out a chuckle and helped him out of the mess.

"Lie back," Harry instructed. He grabbed the rope and flicked his hand to make it wrap around Draco's wrists pulling them apart. Draco let out a gasp the rope already rubbing into his wrists and being slightly painful.

"Alright, safe word?" Harry said placing a hand on his chin in thought.

"Honestly, Harry. We don't need one. We're not really doing anything, I'll just tell you to stop. Besides it's just my hands tied up, no big deal," he attempted to shrug but was unable to do so due to the position of his body.

Harry suddenly turned stern. "It's better to be safe than sorry, Draco."

"It's fine," Draco rolled his eyes and Harry let out a sigh.

"Fine, I'll just pick one..." He paused before saying, "Umbridge."

Draco widened his eyes, "Well, that's one way to lose a boner."

Harry chuckled, "Good then that's a perfect safe word." Then he stroked Draco's prick, enjoying the feel of it as it slowly hardened and twitched in his hand.

"I'm going to prep myself now."

Harry pulled back making Draco groan. He pulled against the rope. "I like prepping you," he pouted, Harry only chuckled putting a gracious amount of lube on his fingers.

Draco licked his lips as he watched the lube drip off Harry's fingers before he positioned it to his backside rubbing them against his entrance. He let out a sigh as he pressed against his fingers pushing two in at once.

"Not as good as you doing it, Draco," Harry mused while rocking backwards and scissors himself.

"What can I say? I'm the best."

Harry chuckled leaning forward with two fingers still up his arse and giving Draco a kiss. Their erections rubbed against eachother and Draco grunted during the kiss arching his back for friction. Harry pulled his fingers out with a loud squishy sound that would have made him cringe had they not been about to shag.

Harry positioned himself over Draco's prick. He slowly lowered himself feeling Draco's head push against his entrance. Draco groaned pushing against the rope wanting nothing more than to put his hands on Harry's hips to help position him. He settled for thrusting upwards to drive his prick into Harry instead.

"Fuck, Draco," Harry groaned placing his hand on the bed to steady himself as he felt Draco go all the way in already rubbing against his prostate. "I wasn't ready. Merlin," He gasped.

He gave a sheepish grin, "Sorry, you were just going too slow."

Harry rolled his eyes before lifting his arse back up and slamming it back against Draco picking up a steady rhythm that made Draco moan.

"I quite like this position," Draco gasped as Harry came crashing back down on him. The room was silent besides the sound of skin slapping skin and heavy breathing. "I enjoy watching your eyebrows furrow in concentration and your eyes rolling in the back of your head as I rub against you."

"Oh," Harry moaned as he felt Draco deep inside him.

"Yep," Draco murmured, "Just like that."

Once again Draco pulled against the rope wanting to wrap his hands around Harry's throbbing cock. Suddenly, the rope dug painfully into Draco's wrist causing tears to prick in his eyes. He hadn't meant to think what he did next...in fact he tried very hard to push it away, because he had been in pure bless...but the pain from the rope was so familiar to another pain on his wrists...and all he could think was Voldemort. Which was a very unpleasant thing to think as you had Harry Potter riding your dick.

He tried to push it away by even focusing on Harry's groans. He thrusted forward keeping up with Harry's steady grinds, but his thoughts were clouding over. He could  _see_  Him now, his wand outstretching, his thin lips forming the words crucio, Draco couldn't help but spasm underneath Harry at the memory. Harry mistook Draco's reaction.

"I'm," he grunted coming back down and staying there opting for just rolling his hips against Draco now, "Close too."

But Draco had to close his eyes now trying his hardest not to lose himself in the memory. It was hopeless though and he let out a whimper the rope rubbing deeper into his wrists.

He distantly felt Harry place a hand on his face running a finger over his bottom lip, but it was in a different world. Draco was in the dungeon of the Manor, shackled, being tortured, now.

"Draco," the name was a million miles away, but the person calling it was also whimpering only for an entirely different reason.

"Open your eyes," a voice snarled, but Draco was lost and confused because two very different people had said that: one with a wand pointing at him and the other pumping his cock steadily.

Harry let out a gasp as he came all over Draco's body, which was limp although still spasming. Draco had his eyes closed and Harry rolled his eyes. "You come then leave me to fend for myself, I see how it is," he chuckled before slowly pulling himself off Draco only Draco wasn't responding.

"Draco," Harry murmured leaning forward and suddenly he noticed the tear tracks. "Fuck, Draco. Why didn't you use the safe word?" Harry shook him, but it was hopeless Draco was already lost in the memory.

"Crucio," Voldemort shouted.

Draco convulsed as he felt the pain course through his body, he felt like he was going to explode into fire. He let out a pained gasp.

"Please," he begged, "My Lord, please...stop..."

And for the first time ever, Voldemort listened. Draco felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulder, only for a moment though. "Bellatrix," Voldemort called. Draco swallowed a lump that was forming, "Bring Greyback down here. I think I have something he'd love to take a bite of."

"Draco!" Harry tried once again giving his head a light slap.

Unable to think of anything else to do, Harry leaned forward and pressed his lips against Draco and almost unbelievably he responded. His eyes flew open and Harry stared at him in concern.

He waved his hands so the ropes came untied and Draco let out a hiss as he was no longer restrained.

"Sorry," Draco grunted his face flushing as he rubbed his wrists that we were red.

"You're sorry?" Harry let out a haughty laugh. "I'm sorry, Draco. I shouldn't have tied you up. We won't do that again. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Draco snapped, but really his hands were still shaking and there was a slight tremor of imaginary pain still coursing through his body.

Harry sighed, "I know you're not fine, but that's okay. It's okay not to be fine."

He slowly grabbed Draco's wrists and began kissing them while whispering healing charms.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Draco gave a shake of his head, eyes still glazed over from the memory. He suddenly looked down to see his stomach was rather sticky. He gave a light laugh.

"I see you still finished though..."

Harry chuckled muttered a cleansing charm just as Draco was about to protest.

"Sorry, it was just kind of hot to be covered in you," Draco admitted running a hand through Harry's untamed hair.

"Already ready to give it another go, are we?" He mused but suddenly he turned stern again before getting back into position for round two. "Next time though, say the safe word, Draco. Even if I'm not the one hurting you, I don't want to do something when you're having a..." For lack of better word he said, "Moment."

"Alright, alright," he said waving his hand seemingly unphased. "Now, let's properly shag."

The next few days had passed and although they were shagging constantly, Harry had yet to attempt the rope again on either of them. He doubted he would ever feel comfortable tying Draco up again, despite Draco saying it was a fluke and he'd be up to try again. They had decided to stop trying to hide their new experiments, but they weren't open about them. Surprisingly, no one had yet to question why they kept slipping away together.

However, Hermione and Pansy had been watching them stare at each other during Potion's class from afar for days now.


	63. A House Truce

  
Chapter 63: A House Truce

Pansy Parkinson was quite aware something was going on between Potter and Draco, but exactly what she wasn't sure. She watched as their pierced looks became smirks and the smirks became kind smiles.

She wasn't naïve, she knew Draco had always loved Potter and she knew he still did so now. She could also tell by the way Potter looked at him, he felt the same. And she knew they had briefly shared a night together. However, she also knew that Harry was supposedly shagging someone else.

So it seemed the only logical solution was to meddle in whatever it was going on.

Hermione Granger was sitting in the library working ahead in Transfiguration when Parkinson approached her with a swing in her step.

"Hello," Pansy nodded.

Hermione glanced up with a smile, "Hello, Pansy. How are you?"

Pansy shrugged and took the seat directly in front of Hermione. "How's the baby?"

Hermione bit her lip and placed a hand on her hip. "Doing well—"

"Boy or girl?"

"Girl," Hermione grinned then quickly stifled her mouth with her hand, "That's a secret though, we haven't told anyone."

Pansy smirked, "Slytherins are notorious for secrets, my lips are sealed." She pretended to zip her mouth shut and throw away the key.

"So, why are you visiting me, Pansy? You're not one to copy and although we do get along alright we aren't exactly always meeting eye to eye."

Pansy gave a soft chuckle, "Well, I think a house truce is in order. After all, I have a plan." Her eyes lit up playfully and Hermione leaned forward curious.

"What is your plan?"

"Well, it involves Potter and Draco. After all I'm sure you've noticed how they've been eye-fucking each other in potions."

Hermione cocked her head to the side. "What do you propose?"

"A blind date."

Hermione nearly laughed at the preposterous idea. "Harry doesn't do dates, not since Ginny."

Pansy shrugged. "Neither does Draco, we'll just have to do some persuading," she winked already thinking of the blackmail she could use against Draco. "So is it a deal then? You convince Potter to go on a blind date this Saturday to Hogsmeade and I will do the same with Draco."

Hermione hesitated from shaking Pansy's outstretched hand. After a short mental debate she decided to take it with determination.

It was that following Wednesday, Harry and Draco were able to have their nightly rendezvous. Due to homework, both boys had found themselves too busy to be able to escape for a shag. Draco had managed to finish his Transfiguration essay finally and waited outside of the Room of Requirement for Harry to appear. He kept to the shadowed corner in case any 8th or 7th years were patrolling. He hated the fact that wandering the corridors alone at night made the hairs on his neck stand up.

It only took Harry a few minutes to appear. He approached Draco from behind. Catching him off guard, Harry pushed him against the wall and pinned his hands over his head. Draco let out a yelp of fear which made Harry frown. He immediately lessened his grip.

"Just me, Dray," he said. Draco tightened his body at that, Harry had never called him Dray before and the only person he could think of using that nickname was his Aunt as she stood over him cursing him.

"You alright?" Harry murmured letting go of his wrists and placing a hand on Draco's face. His body relaxed, but his heart was still racing.

"Yes," he grunted.

"Did I scare you?" Harry chuckled, but Draco clenched his jaw.

" _No_ ," he said through gritted teeth.

Harry gave a small smile, " _Yes_." And before Draco could respond with a retort, Harry silenced him with a kiss.

He pressed his body against Draco's, but pulled back when he remembered they were in the corridor and it was probably best if they didn't get caught snogging at midnight.

He paced back and forth in front of the Room of Requirement's door thinking to himself that they needed a comfy bed.

He pushed the door open with a smile, before taking Draco's hand and dragging him to the bed. He immediately collapsed on to the duvet.

Harry let out a loud sigh, "This is heaven."

The bed shifted and Harry felt Draco fall beside him.

"I feel like I haven't slept in weeks," Draco added.

Harry pushed himself upward leaning against his arm so he could stare at Draco who already had his eyes closed.

"Is it bad if we don't do anything tonight?" Harry murmured. "I know it's been our first night we can shag in days, but I haven't had a nightmare free night in so long." He sighed again. "I'm just  _so_  tired."

Draco gave a small smile still not opening his eyes. "I think I have already fallen asleep." He chuckled before pulling himself up as well. "Merlin, look at us. Shagged out in just a few weeks. We must be the worst horny teens we know."

Harry laughed before leaning forward and giving Draco a kiss. He didn't pull back till both their lips we swollen.

"Fuck, Harry," Draco groaned, "If you kiss me like that every time, I might come from that. I thought we  _weren't_  doing anything."

Harry smirked, "Let's just be gentle tonight, I don't think I can sleep without at least wanking. My cock seems to think I owe it that every night now."

Harry leaned forward caressing Draco's bulge making him let out another groan.

"Merlin, I think I'm so sex-deprived I can come just like this," Draco moaned thrusting into Harry's hand. Harry let out a low chuckle pulling his hand back to slip under the fabric.

Harry had just wrapped his hand around Draco's prick when Draco grasped the sheets and threw his head back. He let out a groan and his cheeks tinted pink as he gave one final thrust. Harry withdrew with a smirk as Draco panted.

"Fuck, that's humiliating," Draco narrowed his eyes. "I lasted barely two seconds."

Harry grinned, "Three to be exact."

Draco gave him a light shove and grabbed his wand to shoot a cleaning spell at himself. "To be fair, I haven't even wanked off. I'm not the best at privacy charms," Draco shrugged.

Harry gave him a look, "I think I've wanked so much in the last few days my dick is gone."

Draco smirked, "Well, let's find out, shall we?"

And before Harry could get out, "Oh merlin yes," Draco was already straddling him with a hand pressed down rubbing the fabric of his pants. Harry let out a grunt as he arched his back wanting to be closer to Draco. Draco pulled his hand back teasing him. Harry moaned as Draco placed on finger down the seam of his trousers right where his bulge was before beginning to pull down his pants and then his briefs.

Harry's erection sprang forward and Draco licked his lips leaning forward.

"Oh, I've missed this," he murmured as his lips swallowed Harry's head. He opened his throat so that Harry could thrust forward.

Harry's hands didn't know what to do with themselves as he spasmed in pleasure. They went from digging into the sheets to grasping Draco's blonde hair to keep him bobbing.

Finally, with one last gasp and Draco's one last tongue flick, Harry came. As Harry finished riding out his high, Draco laid against the soft blankets more than content. This had been the most pleasant night he had, had in days.

Harry joined him by lying his head on his chest he smiled against him as Draco ran a hand through Harry's untidy hair. He bit his lip thinking about a conversation he had recently had with his friend. He let out a sigh deciding it best he needed to get it off his chest.

"Pansy wants me to go on a date with someone..." Draco trailed off unsure what Harry's response would be, "I won't if you don't want me to, but I am curious who the bloke is. Plus it would keep them from suspecting our experiments."

Instead of Harry hexing him, he merely shifted to look at Draco. "Strange...Hermione wants me to go on a date too. I wonder who it could be?"

Draco paused for a moment as Harry's words hit him then he gave Harry a look.

"Really, Harry? You don't think it's odd we both have blind dates?"

Harry looked away his eyebrows furrowed.

"This is the like the billionth reason for you not being in Ravenclaw..."

Harry gasped feigning being offended. "What do you mean billionth?"

"Well, while you were stalking me I was stalking you."

Not bothering to comment on the first part, Harry gasped, "You were stalking me?!"

Draco smirked catching on and threw his head back with a chuckle, "I knew it! You stalked me! What year then, Harry?"

Harry bit his lip and shifted. Draco's laughter ceased when he realized Harry wasn't finding it as humorous.

"I erm...Year 6th...When you—well I—"

Draco swallowed understanding. "I remember," he grunted. There was a sick feeling in his stomach.

"I just...I had thought you were a death eater and I was correct, but no one would listen and so I wanted to...I had to find out...and...." Harry sputtered feeling Draco tense underneath him. He pulled back to look up at Draco who seemed to have fixated on the wall.

"'course, makes sense." He shrugged, but his pale eyes were unmoving.

Harry placed a tentative hand on Draco's chest slowly moving to pull him closer.

"I didn't mean to remind you," Harry whispered stared at Draco's clenched jaw. He gave a curt nod.

"I know." He let out a sigh pulling himself out of his trance to glance back at Harry. "That year was a hard year for me, I was so alone and...I made so many wrong choices. It hurts to look back is all." He shrugged and tried to act like he wasn't fazed, but Harry could still feel how he hadn't let himself relax again. So Harry was determined to help.

He slowly unbuttoned Draco's shirt.

"What are you doing?" He chuckled running a hand through Harry's untidy hair. Instead of responding, Harry pulled Draco's shirt apart allowing his pale chest to be seen. Harry ran a hand over the cuts. Draco shivered and let out a sigh.

"Merlin," Harry breathed, "You're so beautiful."

It was a gentle moment, one they hadn't shared before. Draco's cheeks heated up. He had never felt so exposed before. Harry ducked his head down and began placing sweet kisses on every cut. Goosebumps rose on Draco's skin and he arched his back begging for every part of his body for Harry to place his lips on.

"Every," he gave another kiss to the edge of a scar, "Part. Is. So. Beautiful."

Draco's eyes rolled back and let out a soft moan that made the lower part of Harry's stomach lurch forward.  _Merlin_ , Harry thought,  _is that beautiful_.

And Harry spent the rest of the night determined for Draco to know how beautiful his chest was and that no matter how many scars he had he could never be tainted.

 


	64. Happy

  
Chapter 64: Happy

Draco woke up first peering down at Harry through golden eyelashes. He ran a hand through Harry's untidy raven hair. He gave a small smile to himself. Harry fidgeted underneath him. He slowly stirred awake, his green eyes squinting due to the sun. Harry adjusted himself deeper into Draco's pale chest his hand moving in circles on his bare skin. Draco let out a deep sigh.

"You alright?" Harry asked tentatively his hand still pressing against his chest.

Draco didn't want to lie, because he wasn't sure he could ever be alright after all that had happened in his life. In fact sometimes it felt like he could never be okay. But, in this moment everything truly did feel okay, he felt content, and he most definitely never wanted to leave this position with Harry tucked on top of him, legs brushing each other, arms wrapped around the other shielding each from harm. The sun hit Harry's green orbs just right that they seemed to glow and there were sparks of brown that Draco had never noticed. He squinted as he looked up at him, and Draco was sure he seemed just a blurry blob to Harry in the moment, as his glasses had been knocked to the ground at some point during the night, but Draco didn't want him to put on his glasses right now—he enjoyed seeing Harry's eyes like this, naked and bright and slightly glazed over with sleep.

It took a long moment for Draco to respond, long enough for Harry to know that Draco was not alright. Harry trailed one of Draco's scars with his finger.

"I'm fine," Draco finally spoke softly pushing his hand through Harry's hair and giving it a light pull so he'd look up. He wanted to look at his eyes as long as he could before they were shielded by the glasses.

"I love you," Harry murmured as Draco leaned down to give him a kiss.

"I love you too, Harry. Oh," he cooed against Harry's lips, "How do I love you."

Harry pulled back with a smirk, "I love you more though."

Draco rolled his eyes. "We all know that's a lie. I am far more capable of loving you the most."

Harry pressed the palm of his hand against Draco's chest directly where his heart was. He could feel it thud uncontrollably against the skin.

"I doubt that," Harry said placing a kiss against Draco's collarbone before working his way to his neck. Draco lifted his head allowing Harry more of a canvas to work with.

He let out a light moan as Harry gave a bite to his neck, sucking graciously, and then licking the purple bruise in approval.

"You'll have to spell it off before we leave," Draco said breathless.

Harry nodded before busying himself with another spot on his pale neck directly below his ear. "I know, but I just love marking you as  _mine_ ," he growled.

Heat pooled in Draco's stomach at that sentence. He came to a sudden realization that he loved Harry marking him as his as well.

"You're," Draco paused to catch his breath, "Going to need to stop. We can't miss Transfiguration."

Harry let out a curse. "I need to finish that essay," he groaned reluctantly pulling back.

Draco bit his lip watching Harry crawl off his lap leaving him cold. "I can help you," he offered.

Harry gave him a glance, "Really? Can you meet me in the library? I'm just going to go change and grab some parchment and a quill." Draco gave a curt nod as Harry pulled on his shirt.

Draco waltzed into the library to find Harry. He was settled against one of the oak tables his eyebrows furrowed in concentration, digging his top teeth into his bottom lip. Draco gave a small smile at the image, it nearly made him chuckle how serious Harry looked.

"Struggling there?" He joked sliding in next to Harry.

"Yes," Harry rolled his eyes and groaned, it was a very unsexual groan one that was deep and exasperated and Draco had yet to hear it in the bedroom, but nevertheless something stirred in Draco's stomach at the sound and he silently cursed himself for being so hormonal.

"Please keep those noises for the nighttime, Harry," Draco murmured into Harry's ear purposefully blowing hot air against his neck causing goosebumps to rise.

Harry swallowed pressing a hand to his temple. "I don't understand why we must do these dumb essays. I saved the wizarding world for crying out loud!" He muttered. Draco let out a low chuckle pressing himself closer to Harry.

"You didn't have to come back, I'm sure the Aurors would have offered you any position you liked."

Harry hesitated from continuing his essay. "Sometimes I wish I had," he sighed.  
Draco tensed himself. He hadn't expected himself to find it so revolting, the idea that Harry regretted coming back for 8th year. That hadn't even crossed his mind when he made the comment, but now it was there. He wanted Harry to be overjoyed about this year. After all it was  _their_  year finally, Harry Potter and the Draco Malfoy experiment. But, he'd throw it aside so carelessly if that meant not doing a Transfiguration essay.

"I think I saw Granger coming this way, I'm sure she'll be able to assist you then," Draco muttered pulling himself away from the table and stumbling slightly as he tried to seem poised and collected. Harry casted him a confused look.

"You said you'd help me?"

"Yes, well. Things came up."

Harry narrowed his eyes, "What things? You've literally been sitting next to me this whole time."

Draco let out a huff and continued to saunter away but Harry let out yet another new groan that made him hesitate—how many noises could that boy make? Draco wanted to make Harry make them all.

"Draco Malfoy, you get back here, sit your arse down, and help me with this damn essay, or so help me. We aren't shagging for a week."

Draco turned on his heel glaring at him. "That would hurt you just as much as it would hurt me," he muttered however he was already back against the oak wood pointing at page numbers in the book that could help Harry.

All the while he wondered to himself if he regretted coming back for an 8th year...No he didn't. How could he when he finally was starting to understand what it meant to feel happy?


	65. Shielding Charms

  
Chapter 65: Shielding Charms

Harry let out yet another new groan that made Draco's stomach tighten as Harry worked on his conclusion. Draco bit his lip being overwhelmed with an image of pushing Harry against the oak wood table and ravishing him.

He let out a breath trying to think of the most unsexual image he could, Harry was usually the horny one they couldn't both be or else they'd never get anything done.

"There!" Harry said with a grin setting his quill down and holding up his parchment. "I'm done."

Draco smiled too. "Perfect," his voice was deep and his pupils were dilated. He licked his lip ready to drag Harry all the way back to the Room of Requirement, or if they didn't have time an abandoned classroom, and shag him senseless.

Harry, however, casted a Tempus and let out a gasp. "We're going to be late!" He jolted up and grasped Draco's pale hand to pull him out of the library at a sprint.

Draco frowned unsure how he could last through a class when all he wanted was to take Harry and have his way with him. For a small moment he considered skipping, but he quickly diminished that idea. There was no way he could miss any more class than what he had to.

The second they got into the corridor and could hear people, Harry let go of Draco's hand. Harry entered the classroom first, thankfully everyone seemed to be in their own conversations. Hermione gave him a curious glance though.

"Where were you?" She whispered.

"Working on the Potions essay," he muttered just as Draco was sliding into the classroom and taking his seat next to Pansy. Hermione glanced over at the Slytherin as well.

"Have you thought about the blind date?" She asked.

Ron looked up at this with curiosity, "Blind date?"

Hermione's face turned pink as she spoke, "Yes, I'm trying to set Harry up with someone."

Harry swallowed before giving a nod. "I think a blind date would be lovely, 'mione."

She grinned.

-~-

"So?" Pansy looked at Draco expectantly.

He leaned forward into his deck turning his head slightly so he could stare at Harry who currently had his bottom lip jutted out; Draco could nearly hear his groans.  _Merlin_ , he thought,  _I need help_. He had never been so horny in his life. He felt like he was about to explode. His trousers were painfully tight and kept rubbing against him. He knew he needed to distract himself before he'd spend the entire class with a hard on.

"What?" He muttered to Pansy. He turned his attention to her hoping that would help ease his urges, but the green Slytherin tie just made him think about Harry's eyes and how they would look up at him as he was down on his knees his mouth wrapped around Draco's co—

"The blind date, you in or no?"

Draco rolled his eyes. "I doubt I have a choice."

She grinned and gave him a pat on the shoulder. "Wonderful! So glad you have come around. I have a feeling you will love the bloke I have chosen."

Draco swallowed glancing over at Harry now. He knew he would most certainly love the bloke she had chosen.

The class couldn't have taken longer to be over. The second everyone had begun getting up Draco sprinted up to Harry and whispered, "I need you  _now_ ," and disappeared into the sea of people. Harry muttered something about needing to go to the bathroom before leaving his friends behind. He caught up to the blonde rather quickly. He could tell by his strides he was going to the nearest room possible, which was the Gryffindor tower.

Harry laced a hand into Draco's as they turned the corner. Harry muttered the password to the Fat Lady and they tumbled into the abandoned Gryffindor common room, everyone was either at class or the Great Hall—lunch was long forgotten by both of the boys.

In a flash of quick kisses and robes they made it to Harry's bed. Harry muttered, "do the charms," against Draco's lips. He grunted in response unbuttoning his shirt.

"If we don't get my pants off now, I might just die," Draco groaned his erection straining painfully against the fabric.

Harry smirked bending down to slowly pull off Draco's pants.

"Harry," he growled, "Now is no time to tease me."

Harry let out a chuckle before sighing, "Fine, fine fine." He quickly tore off Draco's clothing before doing the same to his own. If he wasn't all worked up as well, he would have taken his time. However, his own erection felt painful in the moment.

Draco instructed Harry to lie on his back.

"This position?" He smirked one eyebrow up in question.

Draco gave a sly grin. Hr ran a hand down Harry's legs before cupping one of his cheeks. He gave a nod before pushing a finger into Harry causing him to gasp. Harry adjusted pulling his legs up to give Draco more to work with. From this position Harry could see Draco's face and memorize how he looked when he came. He could also glance over Draco's shoulder to see the door. It made him tingle at how exposed they were like this.

"Merlin," he groaned, "You're so tight."

Harry let out a light squeak as Draco pushed a second finger inside him.

"Do you remember that lube spell?" Harry asked through gasps, he pushed himself deeper into Draco's fingers as he began to scissor him.

Draco pulled back and gave a nod. He grabbed his wand before muttering the charm. Harry let out a sigh as Draco's fingers slide into him easier this time.

"You don't feel that tight now, do you think you're good?"

Harry gave a curt nod. "Please, Draco. Get inside me,  _now_."

Draco didn't need to be told twice, he lathered his prick with a good amount of lube before adjusting himself against Harry's entrance. He slowly thrusted into Harry checking his face for any signs of pain, but he only let out a deep sigh in pleasure. Draco took that as a good sign and didn't hesitate from his regular pace. As he thrusted into Harry he wrapped his hand around Harry's prick pumping in at the same speed. Harry squirmed below him.

"Oh Draco," he moaned, "If you don't stop I'm going to come now." He threw his head back in pleasure.

"Then come, Harry, come for me," Draco continued to thrust harder and faster feeling Harry clench around him. Sweat glistened his chest. A steady sound of skin hitting skin filled the room along with Harry's deep moans and Draco's groan with every thrust.

"Open your eyes," Draco instructed, "I want you to see me as you come." Harry let out a sigh at Draco's command. Draco marveled at Harry's greens orbs glazed over in pleasure. He could feel himself getting close to the edge.

Suddenly, Harry's eyes widened. Draco could feel Harry's body clench and unclench. He was beginning to uncoil himself as Harry gasped breathlessly, "Ergh, Ron."

Something snapped in Draco and he found himself the furthest he'd ever been to the edge. He pulled back seething in anger.

"Are you fucking kidding me? Did you seriously just call me Ron while I've got my cock in you?!" Draco's ears turned red and he had half a mind to hex Harry, who was currently still plastered to the bed breathing heavily seemingly unphased by what he had called Draco.

"No; Ron." Harry gestured his hand and Draco glanced over his shoulder to see a very pale Ron Weasley who seemed about to sprint out the room but also puke. He seemed to be paralyzed.

Draco's eyes widened in realization. "Did you put up charms?" He whispered.

"No," Harry muttered, "I told you to."

"You know I'm rubbish with shielding charms, Harry!" He glared down at the raven haired boy who seemed to finally understand what this meant.

"So...he...can see us..."

Draco slowly pulled himself all the way off of Harry. Ron continued to stand staring blankly at the both of them too stunned to move, the vision of Malfoy's skinny pale arse pounding into his best mate was still engraved into his mind.

"I think we've broken him," Draco muttered, "We ought to send him off to St. Mungos."

Harry swallowed down a laugh and shook his head, embarrassment was settling deep into his stomach.

Slowly Ron opened his mouth before closing it again.

Harry decided it best to speak, the awkwardness was seeping in. "I thought you'd be at lunch."

"I came to check on you, you hadn't been eating a lot I had been worried. And that was an awful long time to be in the bathroom so I thought...I thought I'd check on you."

Color finally rose back into Ron's face only he was turning an unhealthy shade of red; his whole body was being covered in it from his ears to his fingers.

"I see you're fine...Er. I'll just be...going," he sputtered but stayed in place unable to move.

Finally, Ron seemed to be able to get the blood moving again and he was able to turn around to take slow steps out of the room still traumatized.

"Er. Ron?" Harry called before he left. He kept the sheet pulled up to his chin as he shifted to talk, "Can you not tell anyone about this?"

Ron gave a curt nod. He hesitated before adding, "You know, I'm not even surprised." He gave an awkward chuckle. Harry furrowed his eyebrows confused. "You wanked off enough muttering things that sounded a lot like 'Oh Draco.'" Ron turned his glance to the Slytherin. "Seems you aren't the only one rubbish at shielding charms. When Harry is in a hurry he likes to forget silencing charms. At least I've got Hermione, she's too brilliant to make these mistakes."

Harry was now the one red. "You have  _not_  shagged Hermione in here!"

Ron smirked, "My point exactly." And then he turned on his heal, ears still burning but with a light chuckle.

"I can't believe that!" Harry narrowed his eyes as Draco threw his head back laughing. "Hermione and Ron do not shag in here. Do they?"

Draco shook his head amusement in his pale eyes. "Oh, my sweet innocent, Harry. I am quite positive Hermione didn't get pregnant from just a kiss."


	66. Potion Partners

  
Chapter 66: Potion Partners

            Draco leaned down and gave Harry another kiss, Harry pulled back rather quickly. "I still can't believe Ron walked in on us."

            Draco shrugged with a laugh. "We had it coming, how often do we do our shagging here? It was only a matter of time."

            Harry frowned. "Still..."

            Draco gave Harry another kiss. "Good news is that I did come," he whispered against Harry's lips.

            Harry gave a small laugh, before pausing. "I did too."

-~-

            It wasn't as awkward as Harry was expecting it to be, now that Ron knew he was shagging Draco. Besides a couple of knowing looks from Ron whenever Hermione caught Harry looking at Draco or when she asked why he hadn't been at the Great Hall lately.

            In fact, now that Ron knew about their secret affair, Harry had been getting a lot more time with Draco. Ron seemed to be acting like a perfect wingman and seemed to even be for it.

            Potions on Friday proved that Ron was on board when it was time to pick partners. Immediately, unlike normal, Ron shouted that he was going to partner up with Hermione leaving Harry alone. He was bitter at first, but when he glanced over at who was left he couldn't help by smile. A certain blonde Slytherin stood with a scowl at a table by himself. It seemed Pansy was also playing wingman.

            "Potter you're with Malfoy," Professor Slughorn said gesturing. Harry feigned annoyance by rolling his eyes, but easily complied.

            He slide in next to Draco, their arms slightly touching.

            "Hello," he breathed.

            Draco had enough practice to be able to keep his cold composer. He gave a nod. "Potter," he drawled, "I do hope you'll try on this potion that way we don't fail this class. I know it's rather hard for you and your thick skull but if you just sit back and let me do everything we should be fine."

            Harry smirked not letting Draco's mood get to him, he leaned in for only Draco to hear, "Seems just like shagging then. We should be perfect at this."

            Draco took a sharp intact of breath and Harry watched his cheeks tint red. "Shove off, Potter, I need to concentrate," he grumbled before reaching for a vial and checking the instructions one last time. His forefinger ran over the words as he read.

            "I thought you were the best at potions, Malfoy? Why do you need to concentrate? Or better, read the instructions? I thought you knew what you were doing." Harry grinned looking smug as Draco immediately stopped reading and straightened his back with a scowl.

            "I  _do_  know what I am doing. I don't even need the instructions," he huffed.

            Harry didn't hesitate from flipping the book closed, "Well get on it then." 

            Draco narrowed his eyes, "I  _will_." But, he paused from tipping the vial into the cauldron.

            "Okay, do it," Harry gestured a playful glint in his eyes.

            "I  _am_ ," Draco scoffed moving his hand closer to the cauldron but still hesitating.

            "Just admit it; you don't know what you're doing."

            "I  _do_."

            Harry smirked, " _Don't_."

            And suddenly out of frustration Draco dumped the whole vial into the cauldron, which was much more than the amount needed.

            It happened quickly. In a flash of green smoke, Draco suddenly collapsed. Harry reached out to catch him with a cry of "Draco!" but before he could his own head had a lurch of pain that made him freeze.

            Everyone seemed to stop what they were doing to glance at the commotion. Ron rushed over and placed his hands on Harry's shoulder to steady him, but he couldn't see him. The pain was multiplying and made his vision turn red. He let out a gasp trying to breathe, but it seemed he had also inhaled the smoke and began choking.

            "Harry, can you hear me?" he spoke quickly he tried to nod but couldn't.

            Professor Slughorn came over with Hermione muttering, "My, my, my. What have you two boys done?"

            "I think Draco added too much wolfsbane, sir, which reacted to the bats wings and resulted in an acidic explosion," Hermione perked up with wide eyes.

            "Draco—get Draco—" Harry spoke in sputters. His throat was hoarse.

            "Are you okay?" Ron asked with hands still on Harry's shoulders.

A piercing pain went through Harry's head. For a split second Harry had a flashback at a time when Voldemort was still alive. For a second he had half a mind to start running around saying it wasn't over and that Voldemort was planning his next revenge.

"Help Draco—get him first," Harry coughed. He leaned forward his throat now burning. He blinked water filling his eyes in an attempt to rid them of the toxins.

"Hold on mate," Ron said keeping his hand on him to make sure he wouldn't fall to the ground. Harry's vision was fading to black, he blinked to see a flash of red. He heard Ron's voice muffled, "Hermione check Malfoy." He turned his head to the Slytherin to find him on the ground looking ever so frail, Harry swallowed wanting to reach forward and aid him, but before he could move any further he too collapsed against Ron.

-~-

            A skinny pale hand reached out and wrapped it around Draco's forearm, the nails dug the bare skin. Draco gritted his teeth, biting his tongue to let out a cry of pain.

            He had to do this, he had to.

            But, he didn't want to.

            The snake gave a smug smile. "How are you, my dear boy?" He asked trailing his wand against the skin. The mark had yet to be put on, but it was only a matter of time.

            "Good, my Lord," his voice was hoarse and his throat hurt as though he hadn't drank in weeks.

            "Good, because we have company," he smirked.

            Draco arched his back from the dungeon wall curious. They never had company.

            "It's your boyfriend," he snarled, "Harry Potter, is waiting for you."

            Suddenly, a pain ruptured through Draco's chest. Why was Harry here? And what was he going to do? Didn't he realize he was going to be killed?

            Draco's heart was pounding. Voldemort grinned at this.

            "Don't you fret, he's already dead, you'll be joining him soon."

            A flash of the image of Harry's cold dead body lying on the ground lifeless flashed through him.

            It hurt more than the countless times he'd been crucioed.

            "No," Draco muttered as lifeless as Harry's body.

            Voldemort pulled back and for once Draco was ready, he wanted to die, and this time he could die without the Dark Mark branded on his skin.

            Voldemort raised his wand, "Avada Kedevra!"

            A bright light flashed through Draco's vision and he welcomed it.

            He could finally go home.


	67. Headaches

  
Chapter 67: Headaches

Draco scrunched his face in pain as his eyes adjusted to the bright light in the hospital wings. He heard a familiar groan to his left. He blinked to glance at the raven haired boy.

"Bloody hell," he said clutching his head.

Draco rolled his eyes. "It's your arrogant fault, you prat," Draco grumbled.

Harry turned his head then immediately squeezed his eyes shut as it began to throb. "Me?  _You're_  the one who dumped the whole vial!"

"Yeah, well,  _you're_  the one who egged me on," Draco was quick to retort.

The door to the hospital swung open. "I deserve a good shag after this, Harry," Draco whispered at the corner of his mouth for only Harry to hear.

Madam Pomfrey waltzed over with a kind smile. "Good to see you're up," she said. With a flick of her wand she began accessing the damage.

"It seems the potion should be out of your systems now, if you inhaled any your throat may be parched till tomorrow, but a good amount of pumpkin juice should do the trick!" She gave a nod in agreement with her words.

Draco was already beginning to drag himself out of his bed, Harry, however, was seeming to struggle—he still clutched his forehead with his hand and was now rubbing his eyes.

"You alright, Potter?" Pomfrey asked edging forward.

He yanked his hand back with a feverishly nod, "Yes. Headache is all."

She quickly spun around in search of something to cure his head. "I think I have something you can take..."

"No, it's alright, thank you though," Harry said and before she could do anything else he was out of the bed as well.

She pursed her lips together in a tight line staring at Harry before giving a curt nod, "Well if it keeps bothering you, come back."

He gave a curt nod, but he was already halfway out of the hospital wing and Draco had to take long strides to catch up.

"You alright, Harry?" Draco called once they were out of the hospital wing.

Harry paused leaning against the corridor wall placing a hand on his forehead. His glasses slipped down his nose and he raised a finger to push them back up. Draco watched him with cautious eyes.

"Yes, just sometimes...it feels like he isn't actually gone...you know? And my head hurting...it just makes me wonder—what if he still is out there?"

Draco sighed, "He can't be, you killed him." He gestured and Harry gave an awkward chuckle understanding how he sounded.

"I know that," he stopped before adding, "the pain isn't even the same. When he was alive it felt like something was inside me forcing its way out. This is nothing compared to that."

A silence fell between them. Draco leaned forward joining Harry against the wall. Their arms gently brushed against each other in a type of intimacy they had yet to experience.

Draco bit his lip contemplating speaking. He took a sharp intact of breath before saying, "I had a nightmare..."

Harry opened his eyes glancing at him curiously, "Just now?"

Draco nodded. "Yeah...he was there. It was before I had gotten the mark...and he said that you were there...but he had killed you—then he killed me. That's when I woke up."

Harry's eyes trailed over Draco's face. His eyebrows were furrowed and his jawline seemed sharp enough to cut. His bags were still deep and purple under his eyes, but they seemed to slowly be fading.

Harry didn't know what to say, so he said, "Well were both alive."

"Yeah..." Draco gave a small smile before shaking his head to rid himself of the image that filled his mind at the thought of the nightmare. "Don't forget about the shag you owe me," He added with a wink.

Harry grinned and gave a light laugh. He leaned in and they shared a brief kiss in secrecy before Harry said, "Wouldn't dream of forgetting it."

-~-

Harry and Draco stumbled into dinner that afternoon late. Draco adjusted his tie one last time glancing down to make sure it was Slytherin green, he had already caught Harry nearly leaving with the wrong tie three times now. He rolled his eyes as he looked at Harry to see his shirt still halfway untucked. Deciding that would make taking it off later easier, he let it go and he slide into the Slytherin table.

Pansy greeted him with a smile.

"Great to see you're still alive and breathing after spending time with Potter in the Hospital Wing. You know for a second there, I thought you intentionally brewed the potion wrong so you could get out of your blind date tomorrow." Draco scoffed at that.

"Trust me, if I was doing it intentionally, I would have done it right."

Across the Great Hall Hermione was eyeing Harry with worried eyes.

"So your head was hurting?" She asked.

He gave a nod.

"Gesh, Hermione. Leave him alone, it's just a headache," Ron said before grabbing two rolls placing one on her plate and his. She gave him a smile as a thank you before going back to the problem at hand.

"Yes, but that's not usually a symptom of a potion malfunction—"

"It's a symptom of life though," Ron interjected and Harry gave a light chuckle as Ron mumbled, "And of your pestering."

Ron hadn't been quiet enough for Hermione gave him a light slap her cheeks tinting pink. "Ronald! Excuse me for actually being concerned for our best friend," She sighed.

"Honest, Hermione, I'm fine. Besides, the headache is gone so all is well."

Hermione gave him another concerned glance, she opened her mouth to speak, but he continued before he could, " _Honest_. And it's my head, not a scar so this is loads better than when Voldemort was alive."

The mention of Voldemort seemed enough to make Hermione be quiet because she didn't bring it up again. But, the truth was Harry could never get a headache again without being the same amount of paranoid as Hermione was. Although it seemed impossible, he always had to wonder if maybe Voldemort was alive...hiding in the forest drinking Unicorn's blood...a shriveled piece of humanity unable to survive on its own...the images that filled his mind made him shudder. So he pushed them away and he reminded himself the scar had yet to hurt which meant everything truly was well.


	68. Hogsmeade

  
Chapter 68: Hogsmeade

Harry Potter's and Draco Malfoy's first official date took place in spring when the air had just turned pleasantly cool. It was a Saturday and on this specific day only 8th years had the privilege of venturing out to Hogsmeade—this happened once a month but this was the first time the two boys had taken to going. Potter had, had enough of the town and Malfoy thought himself too good to go there alone (really they both were waiting for this occasion).

Hermione and Pansy both gave Harry and Draco explicit instructions. Harry was to wait for Hermione to accompany him to the secret location their date would be held at and Draco was to wait for Pansy. Seeing as both of the boys knew who their blind date was, they took their time getting ready. Harry tried his best to tame his hair, but he finally gave up as it was a lost cause.

Draco had put on his best button up even venturing to roll the sleeves up, although when he saw the tail of his Dark Mark sticking out, he lowered them a smidge. He combed his hair back, before giving a nod of approval and joining Pansy. She eyed him up and down with a pleased smile.

"Trying hard to look good?" She smirked.

"Please, I always look good," he scoffed.

Pansy grinned before leading him out of the castle.

Meanwhile, Harry was fretting over the better shirt.

"Sleeves or no sleeves, Ron?"

The redhead stared at the two shirts before saying, "You might get cold so sleeves."

Harry sighed, "Yes, but this one makes my eyes look greener."

Ron cocked his head to the side, "They're both a pale blue, Harry. It's the same shirt only one is sleeveless!"

Harry glanced down at the shirt before holding the sleeveless one up. "No! Look, this one is more faded." He held it up to his face.

Ron shrugged.

Harry sighed before shouting, "Hermione!"

She came up in a hurry, "What is taking so long?"

"Which shirt?"

She placed a hand on her chin studying the two.

"Go with the sleeveless one."

"But, what if I get cold?"

She grinned, "Then you can ask to borrow his jacket, now get a move on, or you'll be late!"

Harry gave a curt nod before turning around and swapping shirts. He looked back at his friends for a nod of approval, before deciding he looked as best as he could.

Hermione guided Harry out of the Gryffindor Tower, but before they could get too far she instructed him to put a blindfold on, he grumbled but decided it best not to argue—besides it was meant to be a blind date.

Meanwhile Draco and Pansy were already at Hogsmeade. Pansy slowly took the blindfold off of Draco.

He stared in shock at the scene before him.

"Our date is at the Shrieking Shack?!" Draco cried in annoyance. "This is not up my standards," he grumbled.

"Yes, well, when you see the bloke, I'm sure you'll understand why I didn't choose somewhere more public."

Draco glanced at her in understanding, but he didn't mention it. He saw a checkered blanket laid out that was green and red. He rolled his eyes; if Pansy wanted it to be a mystery on who he was meeting her, she didn't do a good job.

Pansy got him situated on the blanket and explained that she was going to go to the Three Broomsticks to meet up with Theodore Nott and that if anything were to go wrong he could find her there—"not that anything will go wrong," she added.

He shook his head watching her fade away in the distance before turning back around to study the shrieking shack as it swayed and thinking back on a time he was here all those years ago, if his past self saw him now he'd probably have a heart attack—he chuckled at the thought.

Hermione and Harry approached the shrieking shack.

"Now, no matter what, please don't hex me or him. You've got this. Have fun, Harry!" She said with a grin.

She gave him a light shove as he mumbled, "I'm sure I will," pushing him forward. She took off his blind fold and Harry saw the back of the pale blonde's head. He gave a small smile. He glanced over at Hermione who gave a thumbs up before moving in the opposite direction.

Harry's palms were sweaty as he walked forward. Although this wasn't the first time they had hanged out and they had done so much already, they'd never had a date and just sat and ate together. He was quite nervous and worried he didn't look good enough. He attempted to smooth his hair, but he knew it was a lost cause. He took a deep breath before speaking.

"Hi, Draco."

The Slytherin jumped slightly and looked up with a sly grin. "Hello, Harry. Sorry, but I'm actually waiting for someone." Harry cocked his head to the side in confusion. "He's supposed to be a quite attractive bloke and we are meant to be on a date."

Harry gave Draco a light shove, "Shove off, Draco."

Draco let out a hearty laugh before eyeing Harry up and down. "You look good," he complimented.

Harry's checks tinted pink as he settled next to Draco on the blanket. "Thank you, you do too."

A silence fell between them. Harry looked out at the shrieking shack, but Draco seemed preoccupied with another view. Unable to control himself, he leaned forward and gave Harry a gentle kiss. Harry sighed into Draco's lips. He could never get over how soft and tangible they were.

"I like this," Harry said as they pulled back and Draco wrapped an arm around him. Harry leaned his head against Draco's shoulder.

"What?"

"Us. Just laying here. Just being together. We don't do this enough, just  _being_  together."

Draco chuckled, "I suppose not. Every chance we have alone time we're shagging."

"Don't get me wrong, I love the shagging, but sometimes it feels nice just to do...nothing."  
  
Draco kissed the top of Harry's head. "It feels weird though, doesn't it? We should be fighting or hexing each other by now, but I just feel so content."

"I love you," Harry blurted. He pulled back to look at Draco whose face that had always looked so tired and worn lately was finally looking back to normal.

"I love you too, Harry."

They shared a soft and gentle kiss. It wasn't deep, or full of fire, but it was full of everything they shared for each other. Their lips barely parted, and their tongues didn't dance, but it left tingles starting from their mouths down to their toes. It woke Harry's mind up and shut it down all at once. All he could think was Draco Malfoy and his pale blonde hair that his fingers currently twisted around. And it was all he could ever want to think about.

They pulled back with pink swollen lips. Draco ran a hand through Harry's hair pushing it away from his forehead. He had never seen Harry's scar so up close and personal. He'd seen it in passing and occasionally during sex, but he never stared at it like he did now. He gently rubbed his thumb over it.

"It doesn't still hurt, does it?"  
  
Harry shook his head. "No, used to it would though. It would be like my head was splitting open."

Draco frowned, "I had no idea back then."

Harry shrugged, "It's over now. It's fine."  
  
Without think Draco leaned forward and placed a kiss on the scar, Harry's inside turned and his face became Weasley red.

"W-what was that?"  
  
Draco smirked, "I just love you, scarhead."  
  
Harry shook his head with a laugh, "Alright then, ferret."

"Hey now! I'm still traumatized by that experience, Potter. It's not fair! You try being turned into an animal and shoved down your best mates pants." He shuddered at the memory. "I'm just thankful I didn't see, or  _touch_ , his bits. I don't think I would have ever came back to school." He turned green at the thought.

Harry threw his head back shaking with mirth as Draco grumbled, "It's not funny, Potter."  
  
Once he got his breathing back, he finally went to speak about something that had been preoccupying his mind lately. "You're calling me Potter sometimes again."

He shrugged, "You've called me Malfoy."  
  
Harry bit his lip, "No. I uh. What I mean is that, I know I threw a huge fit earlier, but I think it's okay. As long as we're in an agreement."

"Sometimes I don't think, it feels natural."  
  
Harry nodded, "I know what you mean. I think, because I know you're not saying it to be rude it doesn't bother me as much."

"I hate fighting with you over silly things though," Draco sighed.

Harry gave a nod running a hand through Draco's hair. "I think we're going to be okay though, don't you?"

"I think so."

They shared another gentle kiss. Draco pulled back with a grin, "I think Hermione packed some treacle tarts for you."

Harry didn't need to be told twice and immediately started rummaging through the basket for the tarts.


	69. Sunsets and Wishes

Chapter 69: Sunsets and Wishes

"I don't want to keep hiding," Harry mumbled as his head laid on Draco's chest crumbs of treacle tarts and sandwiches scattered on the blanket. "Kissing in secret has its benefits when we're shagging, but I want to be able for everyone to know you're mine."

Harry felt Draco's chest rise. "I...I think I'm ready too."

Harry glanced up at Draco with curiosity. "Obviously, Hermione and Pansy already know. Plus Ron. So it shouldn't be too hard to get the word out. Once it is though, there's no stopping the rumors. It'll be front page news, I'm sure." Harry rolled his eyes already picturing the Daily Prophet.

Draco sighed imagining it as well. "Harry Potter, our savior, dating Death Eater Malfoy! Forbidden love affair!"

Harry chuckled thinking of how ridiculous they would be. "They'll probably say it's been going on since before the war, talk about how heart breaking it was."

A flash of humor appeared on Draco's face. "I'm sure if they knew how I lied about it being you, they'd use that as well."

"Oh, I'm sure they'll develop their own scenario." Harry shook his head, "Bloody press."

Draco smiled and nodded. "Bloody press," he muttered. He leaned down giving Harry another kiss.

Just to the left they could see the sun setting. The orange faded into the pink painting the sky into a beautiful mess.

"This reminds me of watching the sunset with my mother," Draco sighed.

Harry stared at him with sullen eyes.

"We would sit on the hill of the Manor discussing our day, then father would join us. It was one of the pleasantries of my life, actually. It was one of those times where everything was approved upon. I would talk about how I drew a new picture and mother would say they needed to frame it before ruffling my hair. My father never smiled of course, but I think watching the sunset was one of the few times I nearly did see him smile. It stopped...when I was twelve. I don't know why, but...I came back from Hogwarts full of so many stories to tell. At first my mother would sit and watch the sunset with me, but my father got busy. Then even my mother stopped coming outside. It was just me and the sky."

Harry stared at Draco as his eyes glazed over and his jaw tightened, but a smile was ever present.

"I watched the colors mix, staring at the moon as it rose, and when I saw the first star I would make a wish—my mother would always do that. She said that was why she named me Draco, because of the constellation. Father and her always wanted a child, specifically a boy, but they never succeeded. They needed an heir of course, especially with the rise of Voldemort, so one night my mother said she stood outside on her balcony found the first star that appeared and made a wish. Then just a day later she found out she was pregnant with me.

I used to really believe in it all, the stars and faith and destiny, like really believe in it. I know I even called Luna looney, but I think my younger self would have agreed with some of the things she says...But, I stopped believing in it, because when I realized no one would be joining me outside anymore, I would make a wish every night without fail on the star for my parents to care about me again. But, they never watched the sunset with me after that. And after a while, I stopped watching it too."

Draco tried not to look at Harry after he was done, he hadn't meant to unleash a story like that. That was part of his past and he normally kept that locked in the back of his mind. It was hard to keep things hidden from Harry.

"Well, I believe in stars and faith and destiny and all of that," Harry commented.

"Obviously, I still believe in parts of it, I just think it was coincidental that my mother made a wish on a star and then got pregnant with me."

"But don't you see, you wished for your parents to care about you, they never stopped caring, I mean your mother didn't...during the war, she asked me if you were alive after all."

Draco stared at Harry thinking about the sunset and his mother and the garden below the hill on which his Manor was.

Harry nodded his head towards the sky where the first star was already sparkling. "Let's make a wish," he said closing his eyes in concentration.

Draco smiled fondly, thinking only of the love he held for Harry and their future together while Harry thought: I wish for Draco and I to stay together forever.

Harry pulled himself off Draco's chest and they gathered the blanket and basket. As they walked back to the castle, hands laced together, Draco felt a twinge of guilt as he thought about his mother. She didn't have a clue what was going on in his life anymore. He had always made a habit of writing to her each year, but he hadn't written to her since Christmas when he told her he wasn't coming home for break.

He decided that he needed to send her a letter and explain what had happened. He knew it was better he tell her than he find out from a rumor or the Daily Prophet which would be sure to exaggerate everything.

He swallowed at the thought of the Howler he'd receive if that was how she'd find out. Then he realized it was quite likely he'd receive a Howler no matter what, or worse, nothing at all.

As they paused in a corridor to say their goodbyes, Harry noticed Draco's mood.

"Are you alright?" He whispered placing his hands on Draco's arms hoping to ease him.

"Just thinking about my mother...and her reaction to us."

Harry gave him a small smile, "It'll be okay."

"I suppose so, I mean the worst thing that can happen is she'll disown me which can't be that bad, I suppose," he gave a lighthearted laugh trying to act unphased, but truly that was one of his deepest worries losing his inheritance and respect. He was a Malfoy and he could imagine how this could look.

"Then you'll just have an excuse to move in with me," Harry smirked. Footsteps could be heard and Harry glanced down but saw no one. He leaned in closer to Draco. "I got to go, good luck with your mother," he whispered.

He pressed his lips against Draco's. The kiss lasted longer than most of their normal kisses and left them with tingling lips. Draco's cheeks were tinted red.

"Love you," he said breathless before pulling away from the Slytherin and going the opposite way.

Draco was left wishing he could have made Harry stayed kissing him all night instead of thinking about his mother and her reaction to the news.


	70. The Letter of Truth

  
Chapter 70: The Letter of Truth

            Harry lightly touched his finger to his lips as they still tingled. He wanted to stay with Draco and take him to an abandoned classroom, but he decided that it was best not to overdo it with Hermione waiting and all.

Harry clambered into the Gryffindor common room with a grin. Hermione, who had been perched on the couch with Ron, gave him a knowing look. "I take it the date went well?"

He nodded, "Yes, it did."

He settled in next to her on the plush cushion. Ron smirked. "You were gone an awful long time."

Harry nodded, "Yes, well, there was an awful lot of food. Someone packed enough treacle tarts for a family of 8." He elbowed Hermione who shrugged with a blush forming.

"So... Who was the bloke?" Ron feigned innocence when really Hermione had went on and on for the past hour on how she had chosen just the perfect date, but she fretted with worry that it had been quite long and how she hoped they hadn't hexed each other to death.

Harry couldn't help but smile as he spoke, "Draco."

Ron pretended to be overcome in shock, "Malfoy?! But, how did you manage  _not_  to kill him?"

Harry gave a sly smirk, "Quite easy actually, if you kiss him enough it keeps his mouth busy from trying to shout curses at you."

"So are you two dating now?" Hermione quipped with a hand rested on her swollen stomach, Ron had his arm over her shoulder pulling her deep into his chest as she yawned.

Harry shrugged, "Dunno what we are."

"That's quite fine, Harry, just go with the flow. That's what Ron and I did at first after all."

Ron smiled down at Hermione with an expression of the utmost content that Harry had never seen before.

"And look at us, we're great," Hermione whispered clearly losing all train of thought about Harry as she looked at Ron.

Harry shook his head at the two lovebirds, although he knew for a fact that if Draco was here, he'd be worse.

-~-

Draco stared at the words on the parchment. His jaw was tense and his eyebrows furrowed together. He let out a sigh and leaned back in his chair. He knew that once he sent the letter everything would change. Nothing could be the same anymore, not that anything was normal now anyways, but they were comfortable. Why couldn't he just stay in hiding?

He didn't think it was a big deal, why couldn't he just show up at the manor holding Harry's hand? Why couldn't that be as respectful as showing up with a pureblood girl's?

Then again, he knew it was a big deal.

It was a huge deal.

After all this was Harry Potter.

He ran a finger through his golden locks shaking them out and making his hair look an outstandingly amount like Harry's hair, or his own after a good shag.

He bit his lip thinking about his mother reading his words.

He could see her now a wine glass crashing to the floor, a gasp leaving her lips, the tears filling her eyes.

"Draco," the name would fall out of her mouth with venom, "How could you?"

The pain with the question would haunt him forever. "You were my boy, my sweet young boy, how dare you? Think of our name, does Malfoy mean nothing to you?"

He could hear her arguments, feel her despair.

She was in front of him now, narrowed eyes, sunken cheekbones. She had lost her husband and now she was losing her son.

"Can't you marry a nice respectful woman?"

The thought would make Draco's stomach clench and bile rise through his throat.  _No_ , he couldn't. Not now that he had, had the taste of something so beautiful for so long.

            Shaking hands folded the parchment shielding the words from view.

            He squeezed his eyes shut thinking. He could picture the words saying something entirely different. He could see her smile as she read.

            "Oh Draco," she'd say taking a sip of her wine before setting the glass down, "She sounds wonderful. I cannot wait. Just imagine the wedding! Your kids will be adorable, think of the heir!"

            Then she'd stare at him, in a way she hadn't stared at him in such a long time—with fondness as if he was the star in the sky.

"Father will be so proud."

            And Draco could smile back with most certainty, because he would be proud. He would finally make his father proud after so many years trying.

            He shook his head at the fantasy.

            He didn't want to risk his own happiness for the sake of his family anymore.

            He was Draco, Draco Malfoy and he came first.

            Draco couldn't sleep that night. He twisted and turned in his bed wondering when his letter would reach his mother. At around midnight he finally gave up with sleep. He rolled out of bed and made his way to the West Tower. He kept his eyes peeled for 8th years, the last thing he needed was to be beated to death. Although, ever since Harry had rescued him that one night, they hadn't given him nearly as much trouble. Even the death glares had subsided.

            He got to the tower and grasped the railing tightly drawing in deep breaths to calm himself. There was a light breeze that hit his face. He closed his eyes focusing on the rustle of leaves and the distant hooting of owls.

            The owls just made him think more of his letter.

            His whole body tensed when he felt an arm slither around him, he immediately spun around his hand reaching for his wand to hex whoever it was, but he was meet with green orbs.

            "Oh, Harry," he breathed relaxing into the warm arm.

            Harry gave a small smile, "Couldn't sleep?" Draco nodded. "I couldn't either. Sorry, I was watching you on the map and I couldn't help but sneak out to meet you."

            "I don't mind," Draco mumbled pulling Harry in so he could rest his head on his shoulder. He breathed deeply getting a whiff of Harry's soap and musky smell. He sighed feeling calmer already. "You make me feel better..."

            "Do you want to talk about it?"

            "No—" He paused thinking, "Yes. Well...It's just my mother. I wrote to her finally explaining... _us_."

            Although Draco couldn't see Harry, he could feel him nod his head encouraging him to continue.

            "I know it's silly, but all my life I just wanted to make my parents proud. I do think they love me, my father always tried to do his best. We were all just so corrupted and thought we were the best. I don't think I've actually ever told you, Harry, but—" He pulled back to stare at him, "I truly am sorry for all that I did when we were younger. Especially acting as I did towards your friends."

            "I forgive you, Draco." He moved forward pressing his lips against Draco's. Draco stumbled from the force, his back now against the railing.

            "And about your parents," Harry said once they were apart, "It'll all work out in the end."

             Draco bit his lip and gave a curt nod. His mind was still thinking about his mother as she read the letter in the candlelight and nearly had a heart attack at the words:  _I am gay and with Harry Potter_.

            Harry placed a hand on Draco's cheek, his thumb moving over his bottom lip. Draco let out a sigh relaxing his head into Harry's hand.

            "I love you," Harry breathed.

            "I love you too," Draco said his eyes slowly begin to close as he felt Harry begin to lean in. And as they kiss the letter was long forgotten.

            He realized he didn't care what his mother thought, or if he was disowned, because he had Harry and Harry was enough.


	71. No Longer Enemies

  
Chapter 71: No Longer Enemies

Things got rather heated in the tower, as they usually did. Harry's knee moved in between Draco's legs pressing against his bulge. Draco let out a deep moan enjoying the friction. Harry grew harder at the noise wanting him to make that sound over and over again. His hand slipped down below playing with the waistband of Draco's pants.

"Mhm, Harry, please," Draco said rutting against Harry for friction.

Harry's hand disappeared under before grasping Draco's prick. "Draco, you're already so hard," Harry whispered into Draco's ear causing him to let out a groan. He thrust forward against Harry's hand. Harry leaned forward gently biting Draco's ear moving down to his neck. He slowly moved his hand up and down pumping Draco's length as he let out short quick gasps.

"There, Harry, oh, that feels so good," he threw his head back grasping the railing his hands as Harry worked.

Harry smirked pulling his hand away just as Draco was about to come.

"Harry," he groaned thrusting forward wanting the friction back.

"Shh," he murmured rubbing a finger over Draco's lips.

He slowly got to his knees pulling Draco's pants down as he did so. Draco's erection sprang forward. Harry licked his lips glancing up at Draco whose eyes had already rolled backwards.

Harry reached out to Draco's prick pulling the foreskin back before licking the bottom shaft. Draco let out a gasp his hands going to grasp Harry's hair. Harry smirked before going to take Draco's head in.

He opened his throat to take in the length while his hands reached forward to caress Draco's balls. Draco gave an involuntarily thrust forward. Pleasure coursed through his body, but he let out a "I'm sorry."

Instead of protesting, Harry instructed him to keep doing it. And there in the West Tower, Draco Malfoy began face fucking Harry Potter.

Draco made Harry bob up and down by pulling on his hair. He watched Harry as he puffed his cheeks out focusing on breathing through his nose. He completely lost control when Harry looked up through his eyelashes, his glasses nearly about to slip off his face, and they locked eyes. With one final thrust he released in Harry's mouth.

Harry pulled back licking his lip for any salvia that had to escape before standing up to kiss Draco.

"Can you taste yourself?" Harry groaned thrusting forward grinding their hips together after Draco had devoured his mouth. It seemed a very repulsive thing to have been asked, but Draco didn't care. In fact, it made something flare in his stomach.

"Mhmm, I think I understand why you enjoy it, I taste good."

Harry chuckled. "Not as good as me," he winked. He glanced downwards, Draco quickly got the hint.

"Not today, I have another idea."

His hand reached down to caress Harry's bulge. Harry let out a deep moan.

"Think I can get you to come in your boxers?" Draco arched an eyebrow.

"Doubt it," he chuckled although Harry already felt quite close to falling over the edge.

"Challenge accepted," Draco said and then began massaging Harry's dick over the fabric.

"Oh, Draco," Harry moaned bracing himself on the railing. "Fuck, Draco, I need more," he said thrusted forward already, but Draco only hissed telling him to stay still.

"Come on, Harry, scream my name," he whispered moving to Harry's neck and finding his sweet spot. He began to suck as Harry continued to thrust into his cupped hand.

"Merlin," Harry grunted, "Draco, I  _need_  more."

"Hmm, that's right Harry, beg."

His hand moved on Harry's shirt and up to his hard nipples, he ran his thumb over it as Harry quickened his thrusting his breathing becoming spractic.

"More," he moaned, "Please."

Harry's balls drew back and his erection was nearly screaming to be let loose and to have more friction. He just wanted to feel Draco's dick against his. He could nearly picture their heads rubbing up against each other. He let out a groan and forced himself further into Draco's hand.

It still wasn't enough, he needed—"More!" He groaned.

But, still Draco wouldn't budge still rubbing against him knowing that any second Harry would finish.

"Please," Harry cried his head falling forwards and his glasses nearly fell off. Sweat dripped down his brow and he picturing Draco flipping him over and slamming into his backside.

"Draco!" He groaned thrusting forward and letting one last moan as he came in his boxers.

Draco smirking, "I knew I could do it."

Harry huffed staring at the wet stain on his pants, but then gave a chuckle, "It'll be your turn next."

Harry grabbed his wand and whispered the cleaning spell as Draco pulled his pants back up. Once done, they embraced each other in a gentle kiss. The gentle kiss eventually led to Draco being pinned to the wall by Harry. Harry's hands wandered, one on Draco's hipbone the other in his hair—he pulled it gently which resulted in Draco opening his mouth wider.

Before Harry's hands could go much farther for a round two, a clamber of footsteps made him stop.

They glanced up just in time to see robes whisk around the corner.

Harry sighed, "Guess we truly are done hiding."

Draco gave a chuckle nuzzling his face in between Harry's neck and shoulder. "Mhmm, guess so," he said kissing along Harry's neck, "Now everyone can know you're  _mine_."

Harry let out a gasp as Draco's teeth grazed the skin. He could feel the suction and he knew if the rumor didn't give it away, the mark on his neck would.

After claiming Harry as his, Draco suggested they retire to the room of requirement and go to bed. After all it was getting late and they both deserved some sleep.

Draco rested his head on Harry's chest and let out a sigh feeling completely content.

A thought struck him, one that came so naturally, it terrified Draco. He wanted this to be how he fell asleep the rest of his life and it made him want to open his mouth and whisper the three words Harry always found so easy to say. Harry always said them first. It scared Draco to even attempt to do so.

But, it felt beautiful and natural. And they slipped out as a jumbled mess against Harry's hard chest as Harry ran a hand through Draco's soft hair.

"I love you," he murmured.

Harry smiled, knowing exactly that this was the first time Draco had said it first, "I love you too."

And the two boys were quite sure now; they both were no longer enemies. And perhaps they never truly were.


	72. Disappointed

  
Chapter 72: Disappointed

"Harry Potter snogging Malfoy? Are you  _sure_?"

"Positive." The third year nodded in agreement with his statement.

"I'll be, they finally made up."

The two Gryffindors who had been gossiping in the common room ceased as Harry walked down with Ron closely behind who was smirking.

"Oh, hey Harry," one of the Gryffindors said as his face turned red.

Harry gave a nod hello and kept walking, but before he could get far a seventh year with blonde hair approached him. She seemed familiar, but he couldn't place a name. He was sure the scar on her cheek was from the battle at Hogwarts and his stomach clenched. Most had opted to hide their scars from the war with concealment charms, which Hermione and Ginny were kind enough to teach everyone, but some wore hers as proof for what they had gone through.

"Is it true?"

Harry bit his lip, "Is what true?"

"You and Malfoy..." She paused pursing her lips, "Fooling around in the corridor after hours?"

"Yes," he gave a small smile, "Yes it is."

She gasped and scurried away to whisper to her friends by the fire.

Ron clamped a hand on Harry's shoulder. "Just like old times, innit?" He joked. "Can never get away from the spotlight, can you?"

Harry rolled his eyes, "It never changes."

He let out a sigh and went to the great hall for breakfast hoping to see a certain Slytherin as he already felt deprived of him.

-~-

Draco woke up to Harry standing over his bed. "Bloody hell!" He scrambled up alarmed.

"Sorry, didn't meant to scare you," Harry gave a small smile. "You just slept through breakfast and also, congratulations!"

Draco furrowed his eyebrows throwing his legs over the bed and taking the piece of toast Harry held out for him. "Congratulations?"

"Yes, well haven't you heard the rumors? We were caught shagging in the West Tower."

"Is that what they're saying?" Draco mused biting into the toast.

"Mhmm, there's also one going around that Ginny was watching and we're in some strange three way relationship."

Draco couldn't stop laughing, "As if Ginny would go for me! Or that I'd let another person have a piece for that matter. Besides, do people not have eyes?"

Harry shrugged, "Well you are a good looking bloke, wouldn't surprise me if Ginny did like you."

Draco glanced at him, "I know, but you seem to be missing the point. Haven't you seen Luna and her?"

Harry cocked his head to the side in confusion, "What do you mean?"

Draco deadpanned. "Really? They're practically snogging in front of you, Harry! How have you not noticed?"

He blinked realization settling in. "Is that why they've been holding hands? I thought maybe it was a new friendship thing. I had offered my hand the other day to Ron and he just slapped it though..."

Draco chuckled, "Oh you bloody idiot. I love you, but you are so daft sometimes." He pulled Harry forward for a kiss which Harry gave but quickly retreated with a "HEY!".

But, Draco merely laughed which was enough to keep Harry smiling.

-~-

"Did you hear?"

"What?"

"Harry Potter and  _Draco Malfoy_  are dating!"

Harry could hear the disgust in the whispers as he roamed the corridors, but he bit his tongue and kept pushing. He must admit it took a great deal of self-control not to hex all of them.

He was on the way to the library to meet Hermione and Ron for some late night studying for Transfiguration, but with all the rumors he had half a mind to cancel it and meet up with Draco in the Room of Requirement instead.

As Harry approached Hermione and Ron he watched a fifth year Slytherin point at him then turn to her friends and whisper.

He nearly growled in annoyance. He wanted to shout at everyone to stop. He loved Draco, so what? It wasn't a big deal.

But, yet everything he did was a big deal because he was Harry freaking Potter. He sighed. The novelty of his name was wearing thin.

"Hey," he muttered settling in front of the couple who seemed unphased by the rumors passing by; in fact Hermione seemed to be happier than usual.

"Hello, Harry," she grinned.

Ron gave a knowingly chuckle at her before nodding at Harry, "Hi, ready to do this essay over," he paused to glance down at Hermione's parchment, "body weight distribution and how it can prove to be drastic in transfiguration on other witches and wizards."

Harry grimaced, "Haven't we learned enough about that first hand?"

Ron chuckled, "You'd think!"

Hermione paid them no mind still staring at Harry with a smile, "So..." Harry glanced at her. "You and Draco?'

Harry's cheeks tinted red, "Yeah, the rumors are true. We're together. Well we haven't labeled anything, but we are snogging or..." He shared a look with Ron who paled, "shagging."

"Oh my goodness, I need to talk to Pansy! This is wonderful! We knew you'd be perfect together!" She turned to Ron who hadn't spoken in shock yet, "Aren't you going to comment?"

He shrugged, "I walked in on them shagging like two months ago."

Hermione's eyes widened. "Wait, two months ago, and you didn't tell me?" She gave both of them piercing looks which caused Ron to awkwardly shift.

"Sorry, 'mione. We weren't ready for anyone to know."

"Oh," she paused. She still felt greatly offended, however she could understand. "Wait! But, two months ago...That was before you'd gone on the blind date?"

"Remember all that fooling around from before?" Harry said hoping it would click in her mind. She gave a nod.

"Well, it never really stopped. We've been dating, or well, together for a while now."

Hermione nodded but still seemed slightly disappointed and dropped her head to look at her lap as she spoke, "And here I was thinking I had done well and set you up together."

Harry smile and reach a hand out to tentatively touch hers. "You did set up our first real date together though."

She looked up with a smile, "Well I'm honored to have done that."

All the while Ron seemed to be a shade paler and finally spoke up, "Can we move on now? After speaking so much of them together all I can picture is the scene I walked into and Draco's pale arse is still engraved into my mind." He groaned which Harry had to restrain himself from saying that he too has that pale arse engraved into his mind. "I think I might just have to obliviate it."

Harry chuckled before giving a small nod feeling for his best mate.

"So," he said, "Body weight and transfiguration."


	73. An Audience and Stolen Kisses

  
Chapter 73: An Audience and Stolen Kisses

Although there were a large amount of the sneers and glares, Harry's friends seemed most receptive of the news that he was with Draco. In fact Dean had passed Seamus ten galleons after hearing the rumors.

Seamus had laughed saying, "I told you, they'd get caught!"

"You were right mate. Damn, I thought they'd come out after the year was over. What a shame," Dean said sighing.

Harry had casted them a look of confusion.

"Don't act so surprise, we were closeted for quite a while, we know all the good snogging locations and one of them just happens to be the West Tower after hours. It is only a matter of time to get caught there though." Dean and Seamus shared a looked which told Harry that they'd been caught there a few times.

Harry shook his head with a chuckle.

"We should all go on a double date some time though," Seamus offered.

"Yes, at the Three Broomsticks!" Dean grinned.

Harry gave a nod with a smile, "Sounds good."

Being out had its benefits for both Harry and Draco. They could now easily walk each other to classes while holding hands. But, the glares didn't stop. And the girls, who stared at Harry differently, always put Draco on edge. The first time they kissed in public made something flare up in Draco's stomach and left him numb. It was tentative and sloppy, like a first kiss before they knew how they worked together. It was quick and in a rush after dinner.

They had been standing in front of the Slytherin dormitory doors. Students in green pushed past and casted sideways glares at the pair and others smiled in encouragement. The 8th years seemed to stare a bit longer at Draco's left arm that was wrapped around Harry's waist.

Harry glanced over his shoulder to see they had formed a small audience of menacing glares and kind smiles. He wanted to turn around and send a jinx their way, but instead he sighed and rested his forehead against Draco's. Draco had his eyes closed breathing in deeply Harry's calming scent. The smell of fresh laundry settled his stomach.

"Do you want to kiss?" Harry murmured closing his eyes. His heart was pounding.

Draco paused thinking about all the eyes on him and how his mother had yet to write him back in support. He thought about the Daily Prophet and how this kiss would be perceived. He hated all the words and speculation.

But, he loved Harry.

And he loved Harry's lips.

"Yes," he breathed.

It was a second later their lips touched yet pulled back as quickly as they had met due to the unwelcomed applause and the scoffs that had followed.

Draco paid them no mind, "Merlin, Potter, if you didn't know it, you'd think this was our first time kissing."

Harry chuckled, "Oh Malfoy, but for all they know that was."

Draco smirked, "I am sure they all think we've been shagging in the corridors for months now. And how right they are."

Then Draco kissed him again because that first kiss was certainly not the one the audience deserved to view.

This was not their last snog with an audience viewing. But, Draco and Harry quickly became rather gifted with getting people to disperse. It turned out the audience didn't like to stay when the kiss got heated and they began moaning in each other's mouths. Although they were both faking it, they did rather get turned on afterwards so it was probably not the best idea.

Once the audience got overbearing, Draco decided to grab Harry by the wrist and pull him into a broom closet outside of Transfiguration. It was dark and dusty inside and Harry accidentally banged his head by the force of Draco pulling him. He let out a yelp and Draco apologized before pushing him against the wall and pressing himself against Harry already enjoying the friction. The tiny space made it so that their legs became tangled.

Harry tried not to think about how both of them had to duck so their heads didn't touch the ceiling. And he tried not to picture trying to sleep in here. But, his breathing became ragged and he found it hard to stop his mind on its spiral.

He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply as Draco placed a hand on his hips steadying him.

"You okay?" Draco said looking over him in concern. "Did the bump on your head do any damage?"

"I think..." He paused his face heating up in embarrassment of such a silly thing affecting him, "I think it might have. I don't feel too good."

And before Draco could even say lumos to check him over, Harry forced the door open and fell into the wave of people with Draco close behind both worried and still desperately wanting a decent snog.

Harry didn't bring up the closet accident and actively avoided any chance of going back into one by steering Draco to empty classrooms instead for the days to come, which Draco didn't mind all too much, after all the classrooms gave them more room to fool around.

They would walk out of the classrooms with messy hair and interlaced hands. Harry enjoyed the way Draco's hand fell into his and, despite the glares, he enjoyed how people would turn their heads and know that he was Draco's and only Draco's. He even noticed Ginny and Luna giving them a small smile and nodding as they passed by, which settled Harry's uneasy stomach.

Now that they were together in public, Ron really didn't feel bad abandoning Harry in Potion's to partner with Hermione. This left Harry partnering with Draco, which Draco found as a brand new challenge. There were no longer a risk of getting caught during their late night rendezvous so Draco was in need at finding new ways to make his stomach flare up.

During one particular day in Potions, Draco felt especially risky. He slowly moved his hand to Harry's thigh, resting it gently. Harry stopped breathing as he glanced down to see how dangerously close Draco's hand was to his groin. He watched it creep higher, pressing against his upper inner thigh. Harry took a sharp intact of breath.

"Merlin, Draco," he groaned lowly, "You better stop or else I'm going to flip."

Something flashed in Draco's grey eyes, "Is that a challenge, Harry?" He cocked an eyebrow up in a way that turned Harry even more on. His ever growing erection was becoming more and more obvious. All Harry could think about was the idea of Draco palming him during class. Which was a very bad image to have in his mind at the moment when he was meant to be stirring a cauldron.

"This is why we shouldn't be Potion partners," Harry grunted fidgeting in his seat trying to pull himself away but instead this only caused more pressure against his erection.

Draco smirked glancing down at Harry's groin, the idea of turning Harry on in class sent a pulse down to Draco's own prick. He rubbed against Harry's trousers making Harry let out a startled groan which he tried to cover up by clearing his throat.

"You okay there, Harry?" Neville asked glancing at him with concern.

"Yeah, you okay?" Draco mused nonchalantly moving his hand back to Harry's inner thigh.

Harry nodded. "Just something in my throat is all."

Once Neville turned around and no one was still glancing at them, Draco smirked leaning into Harry's ear, "I bet I could make you come right here. You'd like that, wouldn't you? Coming in front of everyone?"

Harry tightened his grip on his wand that was meant to be stirring, his face flushing red and his erection twitching eagerly was the answer to the question. "Merlin, Malfoy. Stop, we need to focus."

Draco smirked pulling back then pushing his hand forward to make the cauldron fall onto Harry's lap. Harry jumped up with a yelp.

"Fuck!" He screeched, his whole body felt like it was on fire. His erection was subdued and he couldn't even be mad at Draco for what he had done. All he could do was see red.

"I think I might need to escort Potter to the Hospital Wing. Would that be alright Professor?" Draco quipped, but didn't wait for the answer already interlocking his arm with Harry's and pulling out the whimpering boy from the classroom.

"Well you stop blubbering, Harry?" Draco snarled rolling his eyes. He stopped in the middle of an abandoned corridor and lifted his wand muttering healing enchantments.

Harry settled on the ground, body still aching and shaking.

"What the fuck, Draco?"

"Oh sod it, you're fine. We needed an excuse to leave." Draco grinned, but he did double check to make sure Harry wasn't still in pain. "I would have doused myself in the potion, but I wasn't so sure you'd know the healing charm. Plus it was at an angle that made it easier to fall on you and look like an accident ." He shrugged before holding his hand out from Harry to take.

"I am not shagging you after you just made me in agony for five minutes," Harry growled turning his head away from the Slytherin.

"Oh please, it was one minute and thirty seconds. I had already calculated how long you'd be in pain. And in reality, the pain was like getting stung by a bee—" Harry opened his mouth to protest, but Draco held up a hand and continued, "Plus, I am sure the great Harry Potter has been through worse pain. Some sacrifices must be made for the greater good."

Harry huffed grabbing Draco's hand and allowed himself to be pulled up. "And who is the greater good for this sacrifice?"

Draco smirked, "Our dicks."

Harry let out a light chuckle, "I suppose, it's worth it."

Draco grinned glad the Gryffindor was no longer mad at him.

"Next time though, you're the one getting doused in the painful potion," Harry said and Draco gratefully agreed before they made their way to the Room of Requirement.


	74. Future Plans

  
Chapter 74: Future Plans

Under the candlelight the Room of Requirement provided, Draco ran a hand over Harry's chest down to the tent forming in his trousers. Harry involuntarily thrusted forward with a groan. Draco smirked slowly pressing against the bulge feeling his prick twitch underneath.

"Oh merlin," Harry moaned pressing against the bed so he could force himself to more of a sitting position to view the scene. Draco unbuttoned Harry's trousers before pulling them down. Harry pulled himself up so that he could wiggle himself free quicker. Once Harry's erection sprang forward, Draco wrapped a hand around his length. Harry let out a mutter of incoherent words as he fell backward unable to control himself.

Draco smirked enjoying watching Harry become so easily undone. He leaned forward, his mouth wrapping around Harry's head. He kept his hands on Harry's hips to hold him down and to keep him from thrusting forward.

            Just as Harry could feel his balls pull up and he knew he was just about to go over the edge, Draco pulled away. He let out a whimper, but Draco merely smirked beginning to undress himself.

            "Turn around," he said, "Get on your hands and knees."

              Harry didn't need to be told twice, his arse already begging to be slammed into. He got into position and instantly felt Draco's slick finger push through his entrance. Harry let out a deep groan falling forward slightly, pushing his arse higher in the air.

            Draco pulled his finger back only to push two more in. He began scissoring him, listening intently to Harry's groan his own prick getting harder and harder. After feeling he was well prepped, Draco pulled back lubing up his prick before guiding it to Harry's entrance.

            "Ready?" Draco asked pressing his head against Harry's pulsing arsehole.

            "Merlin, yes," the words had barely left Harry's lips before Draco slammed into him.

            Harry grasped the sheets tightly as the sound of skin hitting skin filled the room. Draco threw his head back with a moan. He found a steady rhythm before reaching over to grasp Harry's prick and pump him along with his thrusts. It didn't take long for Harry to spread his seed all over the cotton sheets.

Draco only needed to push against the bundle of nerves that made Harry's eyes roll back as he let out a gentle, "Oh, Draco," before resting his forehead against his arm, cum coating the sheets in white spurts.

Draco was still pounding into Harry, his forehead glistening with sweat. Until finally, he gave one more thrust before pulling back and coming over Harry's back. He gave a small smirk admiring his work, before reaching to the bedside table and grabbing his wand to whisper a cleaning spell.

He laid down besides Harry trying to collect his breathing. Harry rolled over to grin at him.

"I think we might have missed lunch again," Harry said.

Draco chuckled, "I think we'll survive."

And suddenly the Room of Requirement offered them a plateful of turkey sandwiches and treacle tarts.

Just as Harry wiped off the last treacle tart crumb on Draco's face with his thumb, Draco thought about something that had been gnawing at the back of his mind for the past few days.

"Harry," he said gently, "Why don't you like snogging in the closets? I understand it's not comfortable and all but..."

Harry pulled back. "I've spent my whole life living in a closet is all," he grumbled.

"I know, Harry. We both have," Draco rolled his eyes.

Harry shook his head, "No...you know..." He paused glancing at Draco, "The  _cupboard_."

Draco frowned in realization, not understanding how he hadn't seen it before. His mouth formed a small 'o' before he spoke. "I-I hadn't thought about that, sorry."

Harry gave a small smile resting his hand on Draco's jaw. "It's okay. Maybe I'll grow out of it, but sometimes I just feel claustrophobic is all."

Draco nodded, "I understand. I shouldn't have even tried to force you into a closet, of course it'd cause flashbacks."

Harry shrugged leaning in and giving Draco a small kiss. "It's silly, so you shouldn't feel bad for not thinking about it."

             Draco pulled back his voice stern, "Mental illnesses aren't silly Harry. It's amazing you're still walking after all you've been through. And the fact that we came out from the war with merely scars and occasional nightmares, is a miracle."

In a subconscious move, the raven haired boy ran a hand over Draco's chest right over the scars he was talking about.

"We both still have our moments though...where we jump because we're scared someone is coming for us. Or my head hurts and I think it's my scar burning...we aren't completely okay."

Draco let out a small chuckle, "Okay, so maybe we are a little damaged? Perhaps we will live in the deep abyss of the aftermath of the war for the rest of our lives. At least we can be fucked up together."

Harry smiled. "Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy, the two fucked up boys who also fuck each other." 

Draco ran a hand through Harry's untamed hair. "I love you," he murmured.

            Harry pressed his forehead against Draco's. "I love you too."

            Not seeing a point of leaving the Room of Requirement as they had already missed lunch and Harry was meant to be at the hospital wing, they stayed there for the rest of the Friday night. 

            They were currently sitting criss-cross in front of each other like just two normal teenage boys chatting on about life as if they had never gone through anything bad ever. Harry briefly wondered if this was a life they could have had all throughout their years together—them being friends.

            "So..." Draco started, "Have you thought about the future?"

            Harry shrugged, "Different things have occurred to me. You?"

            "I think I want to be a healer... I think I'd be quite good. Don't you? After all I fixed you up pretty good," he chuckled, "Or a banker, you know me, always loved the money."

            Harry smiled, "I think you'd be a good healer...it could come in handy."

            "What?"

            "You being a healer."

            Draco cocked his head to the side. "Why?"

            "Well...Seeing as I came back for my 8th year, it seems almost silly not to go ahead and do what I've always wanted to do..."

             Draco leaned forward, "Just spit it out, we haven't got all day."

            "Erm. I'm thinking about being an Auror."

            Something twisted in Draco's stomach at the thought, most importantly the fact that Harry was already thinking that Draco would come in handy as a healer because Harry was quite sure he'd be getting injured on a daily basis (and knowing Harry, he  _would_  be getting injured).

            "Haven't you had enough danger in your life? Merlin knows I have." Draco grumbled.

            "Yes, but, that's the point, isn't it? I've been through so much fighting, I'll be restless without anything!"

            Draco rolled his eyes. "I think you  _want_  to die, Harry. Can you imagine how dangerous it would be? There's a lot of Death Eaters who want you dead!"

            Harry's own heart was thudding against his chest. Anger was boiling over his surface. "And I'm just supposed to wait and let someone else catch them!"

            " _Yes_!" Draco barked.

            At some point they had both moved off the bed and were now standing up glaring at each other.

            "And what else am I meant to do? Stay at home and be you're perfect little sex toy?"

            Draco's eyes widened at Harry's words. "N-no," although he must admit the image made something flare in his stomach, however he'd never degrade the proud Gryffindor to such name calling. "You could be a professor!" He suddenly stated and nodded in agreement with the words.

            Harry scoffed. "A professor?" He spitted out with disgust. "I'd be a terrible professor. Besides people would only enjoy having me as a teacher, because I'm the Great Harry Potter."

            Draco leaped on the idea, "But, see! That's why you'd be perfect! You'd be the best Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher! Merlin knows they need a good one."

            Harry narrowed his eyes. "I'm going to be an Auror."

            "Harry," Draco frowned, "I really don't want you too...can't you understand why?"

            But, Harry was fuming now. "You can't control me, Draco!"

            And before Draco could try and explain himself Harry pushed past him and left the room.

Harry realized they could have never been friends; they would have always hated each other. Especially, because Draco was a controlling prat.


	75. Control

  
Chapter 75: Control

            There was a knot forming deep in Draco's stomach. He knew he needed to let Harry live his life, but he couldn't help but hate the idea of the unknown. Harry leaving for work every morning, unsure who he'd be trying to find, and if he'd come back safe. Even if he was a healer, there are some wounds healers can't fix, and the thought made Draco want to puke.

            He was thrown back in time, at a point when all hope was lost.

            "Harry Potter is dead!" He could hear the voice declaring the news he had so hoped not to be true.

            It was over then. He knew that Voldemort would win, he'd be stuck a Death Eater and after all his tactics, death was surely waiting for him after this.

            It was over.

            Draco allowed himself to lose his composer. Tears fell freely and he glanced around to see if anyone had noticed. He wasn't crying for Potter of course, he was crying because that was his last hope of a Voldemort free life. However, to any onlooker it would look as if he actually cared for Potter.

            Which was not the case.

            He hated him.

            He hated his messy hair and how it'd never be tame, even at the Yule Ball when Harry had tried his best.

            He hated his green eyes that would never be full of life anymore, and would never light up in a smile as he chatted to his best mate Weasley.

             He hated his laugh that he could hear all the way across the Great Hall. It was so obnoxious and loud, it seemed he made it loud on purpose to rub it in front of Draco's face.

            And he especially hated the fact that his death physically pained Draco, because perhaps he didn't hate the Scarhead that much anymore.

            But, not because he liked how his hair always looked like bedhead, or how his green eyes sparkled, or how his laugh was soothing. No, he liked him because he was hope and safety.

            And now he was gone.

            He glanced behind him to see Luna staring at him, she gave him a small smile and nodded reassuringly.

            That's when he heard his father.

            "Draco, come, Draco," it was gruff and rushed, his father not begging or pleading simply commanding him anxiously. How could Draco move his feet when he knew that it meant death?

            But, standing still meant death as well.

            Suddenly, his mother spoke, in a nicer, smoother tone than his father's, "Draco, come." It was still a command, but one much more inviting. One that suggested, perhaps he still had a chance.

            Suddenly, he took the steps towards the dark side—the  _right_  side, only he wasn't so sure it was right anymore.

            And there was nothing he wished more than to have control of his own life.

And suddenly, he understood why Harry was so mad.

            Draco thanked the Room of Requirement for being so gifted, because when he vomited all over the bed, it cleaned itself up in a matter of seconds.

            Draco had stayed the night in the Room of Requirement wallowing in self-pity curled up with a blanket. He couldn't sleep, for every time he closed his eyes he saw Harry dying or he felt the dull pain of a wand slicing into him.

            So he stayed awake, staring into the darkness that never ceased, and he pictured Harry with his bright green eyes alive. And he wondered why he had never noticed before that he was madly and deeply in love with the boy. It was hard to trace back when the hate morphed into love.

            But, it was undeniably there.

            He sighed deeply, knowing he'd have to apologize.

            He'd have to gain Harry's forgiveness, because he couldn't live without him. Not now that he'd had such a taste of something wonderful. The thought of going without nearly made him vomit again.

-~-

            Harry spent the night tossing and turning in anger. When he wasn't angry at Draco he was angry at himself for being angry at Draco. Of course he understood why he shouldn't be an Auror. But, it was his life and he could bloody well do as he pleased.

            Ron had come into the dormitory shocked to find Harry there and not in the Hospital Wing. Harry didn't even bother to explain merely shot him a glare and pulled his curtains around him shut so he could shield himself.

            Morning came with Harry deciding he needed to find Draco and apologize. He couldn't stand being angry at him nor could he stand the feeling in his gut at the thought of losing him.

            Harry had planned on walking to the Slytherin dorms, but it seemed Draco had the same idea, because sitting outside the Gryffindor dorms was the Slytherin who kept cautiously looking up at every person that walked out. He had a hand on his wand of course in case anyone wanted to hex him. But, it was a rather pleasant evening besides Draco's undying thoughts.

            "I'm sorry!" They both said as soon as they saw each other.

            Draco stopped himself with a smirk, "Wait, if you're sorry, what am I sorry for?"

            Harry rolled his eyes, "Look, I'm sorry for not thinking about what being an Auror may do to you."

            "And I'm sorry for trying to control your life, you're free to do as you please."

            Harry grinned, "Great, because being an Auror is still on my mind. I will however, be open to other things."

            Draco smiled pulling Harry close, "Good, we can make this work."

            Just before their lips touched, Harry nodded while mumbling, "I think we can."


	76. The True Life of Draco Malfoy

  
Chapter 76: The True Life of Draco Malfoy

Life had never been easy for Draco Malfoy, even when it seemed like it was to everyone else. Although in the beginning, he had it easy. He had two wonderful parents who wanted the best for him and were wealthy purebloods. He was destined to be in the best house, after all he came from a line of Slytherins, and while boarding the train to Hogwarts he had hopes of befriending  _the_  Harry Potter.

He'd always dreamed about Potter.

He had heard all the stories of course, how he defeated the Dark Lord as just a baby. He could only imagine the power he had to have.

And Draco knew without a doubt, they would be best friends. Why wouldn't they be? They were both brilliant, powerful wizards.

It was all Draco thought about as a child when he realized they were the same age.

And so when he saw the raven haired boy, and the rumors were confirmed, he waltzed up to him noting the scar on his forehead and gave him the best smirk he could.

His heart was thudding against his chest and he was nervous, but Malfoys didn't get nervous so he swallowed it down. He glanced to his right to see somehow someone had already snatched up Potter's friendship.

How dare he?! Didn't Potter know they were meant to be best friends?

Jealousy coursed through his veins and he looked the pale red head over and immediately realized, Potter just didn't understand. Malfoy's were far superior and they could make a far better team. After rightfully alerting Harry's attention to his mistake of friendship, Draco offered his hand.

What Potter had never noticed because he narrowed his eyes and declined, was Draco's faint tremor and sweat dripping down his brow. This was all he had dreamed and suddenly he was casted aside.

Draco had never been denied anything all his life.

And suddenly, the boy he had once looked up to, he hated.

Because, he was more than what stupid Harry Potter thought of him. And he'd spend the rest of his years reminding him of that.

And so that was the beginning. The beginning to Draco realizing that life wasn't fair to him like he thought it'd always be.

Little did he know all those years later he could hold that boy's hand whenever he so desired.

But, there were a million hardships in between. And that was just the beginning to narrowed eyes and glares.

Draco Malfoy couldn't help but be overcome with a deep sadness. Sometimes it felt like things could be okay but he'd walk down the corridors and feel the piercing stares. Harry helped. Harry made Draco's pieces fall back together, but it was only a matter of time before he couldn't help anymore.

He was just so sick of it all.  _When would it all end?_

On rare occasions Draco's hair didn't stand on edge, once in a while he could relax. He could fall into Harry's arms, close his eyes, and just rest.

But, when he was alone at night, he could turn a corner with fear still creeping into his system. The dark was unknown. A million creatures were held in the shadows, every one that passed looking more and more like Voldemort.

On this particular night he had hoped to have ran into Harry by now. There was a sick feeling in his stomach that wouldn't leave and every second he closed his eyes he'd just be thrown back in time.

He knew that Harry's arms would provide him security, but he had already tried the Gryffindor dorms and the password had changed. Apparently, the Fat Lady would also not open to:  _Open this damn door right this second!_ or  _Let me see Harry Potter damn it!_

So with a huff Draco had stomped away muttering about the oafs who designed the castle.

Draco knew that Harry always had a knack for finding him, but tonight he must had simply pushed it far from his mind. Draco sighed giving up and pulling himself to the Room of Requirement.

He thought one thing and one thing only: Help me.

He just needed to forget and wanted a way to clear his mind.

He was shocked and slightly disappointed to open the door to reveal a small room, almost the side of a cupboard and just one cabinet.

            A part of him was hoping the Room of Requirement would give him his own Harry to help cheer him up. He opened the wooden cabinet to reveal bottles upon bottles of firewhiskey though and he decided that was good enough.

            He grabbed an armful and crept back to his dorm keeping his eyes open for 8th years who would not only love to hex him but love to catch him loaded with firewhiskey for that could be just the right excuse to get him expelled. Fortunately, he made it safely back to his dormitory.

            He whispered a silencing charm as to not disturb any of his sleeping roommates. He was worried that if one woke up they may want a bottle themselves and he was in no mood to share.

            He climbed into bed and pulled his curtains shut to shield himself from view. He took a swing of the firewhiskey, welcoming the burn. Draco tried to keep his focus away from the darkside, but sometimes the dark side comes creeping in and there's no stopping it. His forearm seemed to burn and he dug his teeth into his bottom lip to keep himself from digging his fingers into his skin.

            He took another swing before leaning back and closing his eyes.

            He thought about Harry.

            His hair.

            His green eyes.

            His chiseled chest.

            His long legs.

            Draco let out a sigh and opened his eyes to stare at his Dark Mark.

            How  _could_  Harry love him?

            Why would he?

            Harry just didn't understand to the full extent how evil he was. He was a monster. He was the dark side creeping in Harry's life and there was no stopping him. So he needed to stop himself.

            He took a drink and then another one, wanting to block out the world.

            All of his life all Draco Malfoy wanted was to be the best, to be the one everyone admired. He thought he knew what he was doing, but he never did.

            And he fell in love with someone, who would leave him eventually as soon as he realized the truth.

            All Draco Malfoy ever wanted was an end to the pain.

            But, Draco Malfoy never got what he wanted.


	77. Strange

  
Chapter 77: Strange

            It had been a strange night for Harry Potter. He had made a habit of hooking up with Draco before falling asleep nestled in his arms at the Room of Requirement, or they'd venture to the Slytherin dormitory. They did enjoy the light in the Gryffindor tower in the morning, but they didn't enjoy the knowing looks Ron gave them when they crawled out of bed together. It was amusing at first, but they wanted their privacy every so often.

            However, that night, he had gotten so caught up talking to Ron and Hermione, he had lost track of time.

            For one night, it was like everything before the war, before the mess of Voldemort, and before everyone grew up too quick. Ron teased Hermione and she turned red while Harry threw his head back laughing.

            For a moment they all just felt like three teens still trying to figure out life. And although Harry loved Draco, he decided he needed just one night of normal.

            But, it wasn't all normal. Hermione's stomach had expanded of course, and Ron and her shared kisses every so often.

            But, it was pleasant. And Harry missed how it felt to just  _be_  with them without the weight of death on their shoulders.

            By the time Harry realized how late it was, he was too tired to glance at the Marauder's map and crawled into bed content.

            It had been an even stranger morning for Harry. Usually, he ran into Draco before walking in the Great Hall, but he didn't. He had assumed Draco was already inside, but when he glanced at the Slytherin table he wasn't there either.

            It wasn't until halfway through breakfast and Draco had yet to appear that Harry truly started to realize how strange it was.

            He excused himself from Hermione and Ron and walked over to the Slytherin table addressing Pansy, Blaise, and Goyle.

            "Where's Draco?" Harry tried to keep the worry from his voice.

            "Misplaced your boyfriend?" Blaise smirked while Pansy laughed before shrugging.

            "Dunno, probably wanking off to pictures of you," she commented.

            Realizing the three friends seemed fairly unphased as if Draco not coming to breakfast, which he referred to as "one of the most important meals of the day", was not strange. The last time Draco had skipped breakfast was months ago, when things were so bad he no longer ate. Harry's stomach dropped in realization.

            He quickly spun on his heel making his way down to the dungeons. He approached the Slytherin dorms and muttered the password heart still pounding feverishly.

            He dashed through the perplexed Slytherins and to the room that held the 8th year boys.

            He threw the door open and nearly collapsed at the sight.

            He tried his best to swallow down fear as he approached Draco.

            Draco was lying against his bed, one arm lazily draped over his face, his other turned upwards red from claw marks. From this distance, Draco didn't seem to be breathing.

            For one moment Harry was sure Draco had taken matters into his own hands. His heart was climbing up his chest to his throat and he was nearly about to vomit in fear. His night before of happiness was deeply nulled and he could only imagine how opposite Draco's night had been.  _If only he hadn't been so selfish..._ Harry thought.

            He finally reached Draco and placed a hand on his shoulder hoping to shake him awake but he didn't move.

            "Draco," Harry's breathing hitched as Draco still didn't respond. " _Draco_ ," his voice was pained and his lungs collapsed.

            " _Draco Malfoy_!" He shook him harder. When still Draco didn't respond, Harry brought a shaking hand to his wrist and let out a breath when he felt deep below his pad a thumb a steady pulse.

            "Merlin, Draco," he muttered shoving him again.

            At last a reaction came, Draco let out a groan before everything came crashing down on him.

            "Harry?" He glanced up taking in the panic-stricken boy.

            "Bloody hell, Draco," Harry sighed, "You can't scare me like that."  He pulled himself onto the tiny four poster bed and leaned back.

            "Why would you care?" Draco spat turning away from the Gryffindor.

            Harry reached a tentative hand out to touch Draco's shoulder, but he shoved it off.

            "Why would  _I_  care? Draco, I love you."

            Draco shook his head. "You hate me. I hate me. You don't understand how evil and disgusting I am. I'm just a vile piece of filth. I am tainted, look at this!" Draco thrusted his arm baring the Dark Mark forward.

            Harry looked at it with solemn eyes as he followed the red marks covering it.

            "You can't love me. How could you love me with this mark? You need to leave."

            When Harry didn't move, Draco narrowed his eyes and shoved him. " _Leave_ ,  _Potter_. Get out before I hurt you. Get out before I make you evil," his words were laced with malice, but Harry didn't feel the punch.

            Instead of leaving, Harry simply said, "Give me your arm, Draco."

            "Why?" He stuck his nose in the air. "Want to see how disgusting I am?"

            "Just give it to me."

            Draco threw his arm out looking away from the Dark Mark. He didn't want to see Harry's reaction when he finally realized how terrible he was. He felt Harry's cold fingertips trail the mark and it made him shiver. Suddenly, he felt Harry's lips press down on it. Draco glanced to see Harry kissing all over his mark.

            "Wha-what are you doing? Don't you hate me?"

            "Hate you? I could never hate you, Draco. I love you. And this Dark Mark is a part of you. You know what I see when I look at this mark?"

            Draco glanced at him curiously, confused on why Harry wasn't running. "What?"

            "I see the past of a boy who had no choice. I see the pain you went through only to want the same result as me—Voldemort's end. I love you. And this mark does nothing to lessen that."

            Draco looked away not wanting Harry to see his tears.

            "I love you too, Harry."

            Harry smiled before grabbing Draco's chin and forcing him to look at him. He placed his lips against Draco's.

            They slowly pulled back and Draco let out a sigh. "You know I did have a choice, don't you?"

            Harry gave a small smile, "I know you did. But, did you?"

            Draco opened his eyes, "I do now...but I don't think I could see my life going any other way..."

             "Which is why you deserve to be forgiven. You were too young Draco, as was I."

            They shared another kiss before Harry spoke again. "I love you, Draco, and nothing is going to change that. I will always be by your side. There will never be a day that I can fathom not loving you."

            Draco gave a small smile looking away, "You loving me sadly doesn't change how I feel about myself."

             Harry nodded, "I know. But, we can try and help fix each other."


	78. Okay

  
Chapter 78: Okay

At some point, Draco pulled himself onto Harry's chest and explained how the previous night happened.

"I'm sorry," he spoke slowly his face already heating up at the idea that he, a Malfoy!, was apologizing.

Harry cocked his head to the side, "For what?"

Draco hoisted himself up more so he could stare into Harry's green eyes. "For not letting you decide your own future. You can be an auror if you want. I know we already talked and apologized but I want you to know that I truly understand, it's your life. I shouldn't control it. You've had enough controlling in your life."

Harry gave him a smile ran a hand through Draco's blonde hair. "Thank you for that, Draco." He paused before adding, "Though I have been thinking about it...Being the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor would be nice. I did enjoy being the leader for Dumbledore's Army..." He shrugged, "Being a professor might be fun."

Draco grinned. "And safe!" He pointed out.

Harry let out a deep chuckle. "Being an Auror isn't completely out of the picture though. I think I might try it for a year with Ron, see how things go, then become a professor."

Draco frowned before giving a nod understanding, "Guess I'll have to become a healer than."

Harry leaned closer to him so Draco could feel Harry's breath on his lips. "You must admit you as a healer, Draco, is extremely hot."

He smirked, "It is...isn't?"

-~-

It was a week later, final exams were coming to an end, and Draco and Harry had found an escape from the onlookers in the Room of Requirement.

They had just gotten out of their Potions exam and were both needing a release especially because Harry had found it amusing to place his hand on Draco's thigh during the test.

"I could have blown us up, Harry!" He groaned afterwards, "You kept distracting me!"

But, Harry wasn't the less bit regretful, instead he had pulled him by the arm into the Room of Requirement which graciously provided them a bed.

Harry was already lying shirtless on the bed with Draco straddling him.

"You know...I've been thinking, Harry..." Draco began leaving kisses all along Harry's torso and Harry sighed in content.

"Have you? That must be hard."

Draco gave a small chuckled, "Not as hard as you are right now." He moved his hand to graze over the tent in Harry's trousers before pulling up to look Harry in the eyes.

"I think this has been an experiment long enough, don't you think, Harry?" He gave Harry a soft kiss on his bare shoulder.

"Yes, I do." He cooed.

Draco gave a sly smirk, "Well then, Harry Potter, would you like to be my boyfriend?"

"I thought we already were in a relationship," Harry chuckled.

Draco rolled his eyes, "You never asked, you know."

Harry paused, his mouth forming in a shape of an o.

"So, Harry Potter would you like to be my boyfriend?"

"Of course, Draco Potter."

Draco let out a laugh, "We'll discuss the name thing." But, if he was being honest he was already day dreaming about taking Harry's last name.

In fact, Draco couldn't see his life any other way. He was Harry's and he was his, and Draco desperately wanted everyone to know that.

Harry shrugged letting out a groan of satisfaction, "I honestly don't care, as long as I have you be my side."

And as Draco left kisses on his chest, going a bit farther even, Harry knew that this was love.

Their lives could never be normal of course and sometimes life was still hard for the Gryffindor and the Slytherin, but Harry knew that despite it all, despite the pain, the torment, the glares, with Draco by his side, everything would be okay. 

The End


	79. Epilogue

  
Epilogue

There was a pleasant smell in the air, like treacle tarts mixed in with fresh laundry, and there was light dew on the grass on the summer morning. Draco was curled on Harry's chest listening to his heartbeat as it drummed to a steady tone, a song only for Draco to hear, inside a tent. Draco's eyes trailed upwards to study Harry's face, his cheeks were sunken in, his hair beginning to turn grey, and bags were deep under his eyes. There was also a light pink nearly white scar lining from his cheek to his jaw, Draco's heart sunk at the memory.

It was only a month into Harry's auror job when it had happened. Draco was at work when he was informed that Harry had an unpleasant run in with an ex death eater and had been cut up pretty bad. Thankfully, Draco was the healer on duty, Draco wouldn't have been able to trust anyone else to save him. If Harry had just bled out another 30 minutes, he'd be dead.

Draco's stomach tightened as he pictured the mess Harry had been in. The scars were all gone now, but Harry wouldn't let Draco spell away the one on his face. "So I can remember," he said, "And so I can never forget how you saved me."

Draco made sure to kiss that scar first every night before tending to the rest of Harry's body.

Harry had quit being an auror that next day.

Draco had kept his mouth quiet, but Harry knew from the tears he had shed and the pain he had put Draco through, he couldn't do that job forever.

The following day he put in an application to teach at Hogwarts and an owl flew back immediately following saying he could be the DADA professor the next year.

That suited Draco just fine, although this meant he was limited to visits and seeing Harry, Harry was  _safe_  and that was all that mattered.

Plus, Draco had all of the summers, just like this one, to have Harry to himself.

Draco reached a hand out, cupping Harry's cheek. He felt Harry fidget underneath him, letting out a sigh before opening his eyes.

"Morning, Draco," he murmured, "Is it time to get up already?"

"No, no," Draco shook his head. The sun had already risen, but it was still early morning. Draco had become an early riser due to his job, but he still hated mornings. Seeing Harry like this, tired and content, made them better though. Plus the promise of breakfast full of eggs and toast helped. "Ron would be in here yelling at us if it was," Draco chuckled.

Harry nodded.

"Can't believe they're getting married," he sighed.

Draco rolled his eyes moving his hand up so the golden band on his ring finger would catch the light, "I can't believe we got married  _first_."

Harry grinned lacing his hand into Draco's and moving his thumb over the ring.

"They beat us on kids though..." Harry said.

"Yeah, but only by two years. Scorpius is six now, Harry," Draco rolled his eyes and Harry knew why. Scorpius had turned six and suddenly turned into an absolute wanker, trashing everything he could touch, and considering he was a wizard he had a knack for subconsciously catching things on fire including Draco's prized possession—his piano Hermione had bought him as a wedding present.

Harry knew better than to believe Draco actually found his own son a nuisance though. They both loved Scorpius deeply, even if he wasn't genetically theirs. Seeing no other way, and still wanting kids, they had adopted. Somehow that didn't stop Scorpius from having an uncannily resemblance to Draco with the same white blonde hair and pale complexion.

"Speaking of him, where is he?"

Draco shrugged which made Harry's eyes narrow.

"Did you really lose our son again?"

"Oh shush," Draco sighed running his free hand through Harry's hair, "He's probably off playing with Rose. You know how he's really taken by her."

Harry chuckled, it was true. Hermione's and Ron's eight year old daughter seemed to be the only person to keep Scorpius out of trouble.

"We should probably go check on them," Harry mumbled although the last thing he wanted to do was force Draco off of his chest.

Draco groaned but agreed.

They pulled themselves apart and put on decent clothing before clambering out of the tent labeled, The Potters.

"Still don't understand why Hermione and Ron just  _have_  to have their wedding in the middle of a woods and make everyone camp," Draco groaned swatting at a bug and turning his nose at the unpleasantries.

Draco and Harry had gotten married in the Malfoy Manor. Draco and his mother had stopped being on talking terms for a few months after their relationship got out. But, Harry had taken it upon himself to make them work out their differences and he showed up at the Malfoy Manor with flowers to talk to Narcissa.

Turned out Narcissa wasn't against the relationship, merely against the fact that Draco had the nerve to think  _she_   _would_  be against it.

Draco's father on the other hand, did not have the same views.

Lucius didn't attend. Not that he would have been able to even if he wanted to anyways, as he was still in Azkaban.

Draco had offered the Manor to Ron and Hermione as well, but Hermione politely declined and Ron had laughed at the idea which made Draco scoff, the Manor was a perfectly respectable place to throw a wedding unlike the woods.

Instead they were in the dry air under trees and swatting at insects.

Harry and Draco found Scorpius in fact playing with Rose. She was running around giggling madly as he chased her. Hermione was watching over them with a frown.

"Sorry," she said, "Did they wake you? I keep telling them to be quiet, but  _they_   _won't_   _listen_."

"That's Scorpius for you," Harry chuckled before reaching forward and grasping the little boy who let out a startled "HEY!"

To diminish his protests, Harry immediately began tickling him. Draco watched him with a smile. He enjoyed seeing Harry like this, as a father and happy.

"You know, I never doubted it one second," Hermione whispered to Draco.

He furrowed his eyes in confusion, "Doubted what?"

Hermione smiled, "You two. Ron and I always knew deep down something was going on between you two, something much deeper than hate and being each other's enemies. I told Harry this a long time ago, you guys trailed that line of love and hate for far too long, I think you stepped over it at some point and didn't even realize it."

She sighed, before giving him a fearful glance. "Sometimes, I wonder about me and Ron. I love him, of course, I love him, but we clash on so many levels. I don't want to lose him, but sometimes I'm scared. That's why we waited so long, I wasn't ready to commit."

The way she talked in hushed mutters, made Draco remember his wedding night. Strangely enough Hermione had been the one to comfort him.

"I worried that about Harry and me too."

She gave a nod remembering.

"But, I still look at him now and it's like time hasn't passed. I loved him while we were at Hogwarts and I still love him now. And I know, no matter how many days have passed, I will always love him."

Hermione let out a gasp, Draco finally stopped staring at Harry. He hadn't let his eyes leave Harry's face as he had spoken. He now looked down at the bushy haired girl who had become his friend in the recent years, she had tears in her eyes.

Suddenly, she wrapped her arms around Draco pulling him into a warm embrace.

"I'm so glad he has you, Draco," she cried.

Draco merely sighed but thought how he was really glad that he had Harry.

The more Draco thought about Harry, the more he realized he never truly hated him, in fact Draco had decided he had always loved him just as Hermione had always loved Ron and Luna had always loved Ginny.

It was the sunset of the wedding that life truly dawned on Draco. Scorpius and Rose were dancing together, with smiles adorned on their faces. Ginny was resting her tired feet on Luna's lap. Dean and Seamus were locked together, fingers intertwined and humming along to the music, in the middle of the dance floor.

Draco and Harry had sneaked away to watch the sunset as the pink merged into the blue and faded into yellow above the tops of the trees. They had shared a brief snog that left both of their lips swollen, then Draco rested his head on Harry's shoulder with a promise of a proper shag when they got back home (they had already tried shagging in a forest once and it was so awful with the sticks and the grass that they didn't dare try it again).

The sunset was quite a beautiful ending to a day full of love and Harry wondered why Hermione hadn't told everyone to come watch it, but Harry was glad to share this small piece of beauty with only the love of his life. He watched Draco as he watched the sunset in content. A thousand sunsets could never compare to the beauty of Draco.

Draco raised himself away from Harry and Harry let out a groan missing Draco's heat, he frowned but then understood why Draco pulled away. Draco raised a hand pointing to the first star as it appeared.

"Make a wish," Harry murmured then closed his eyes to do just that.

But, Draco didn't need to make a wish, all he ever wanted had come true.

Draco realized that years ago, he had fallen in the abyss of darkness. His Dark Mark was proof enough of that. But, he had crawled out of it. The narcissa flowers that trailed over his arms in a tattoo, had been his final step in putting his past behind him. Even his scars on his chest had begun to fade and the memories were slowly becoming hazy.

He knew now that he was and always had been Draco.

Not Draco Malfoy.

Not the ex-death eater.

But,  _Draco_.

And to him, Harry had and always would be just Harry.

And that was why they could fit together, like two pieces of a puzzle, two sides of a coin, like the hand pulling him out of the abyss, they worked together and there was no denying how much they loved each other so deeply.

The sky darkened, the wedding ended, and Harry and Draco went home holding hands with Harry holding Scorpius in his other arm.

The next day was just a normal day.

And, for once, all was well.


End file.
